Don't you get tired of those goofy year-end things you see everywhere this time of year? No? Me neither. Here's another one.
Here are my predictions for 2011:
The dust bunnies all over the upstairs of my house will stage a revolt. Look for the YouTube video - "The shocking story of how bunnies overran an Atlanta woman's house and how she over came them with only Windex...!!"
Lindsey Lohan will go into rehab again. [yeah, going out on a limb with that one...]
James Patterson will write ten more books, or at least have his name on the cover. [yay for Mother, who reads him]
I will get a fabulous new job[s] in 2011! [pray, OK?!]
Harrison Ford will do yet another movie where he plays an old curmudgeon.
I will go see that movie and wish I hadn't.
I will get lost 4 times while driving in Atlanta, where I've lived since 1993.
It won't be my fault.
I will turn 49, and feel like I'm lying about it every time I tell someone that number.
I will seriously consider picking another number, since everyone will think I am lying anyway!
The day he turns 15, Michael will start bugging me about getting his learner's permit.
Michael will start doing a lot more chores around the house.
It will snow one more time here, and there will be snowmen all over Atlanta that are 30% dirt.
This summer it will be HOT! [don't hate me because I have these visions...]
Coco will poop somewhere besides her piddle pad every day. [Keeps me more limber than a yoga class]
Coco will survive because of the Power of Cuteness.
Alesia will get carpal tunnel from her iPod touch.
Alesia will get a job and earn enough money to buy her own electronic gadgets.
Michael will ask me 50 times why we don't have a Wii.
Mother will ask me 347 times "Where's my PURSE?!"
I will unclog the toilet 6 times, and the plunger will finally break.
I will eat oatmeal every day and not be seen for a couple of hours afterwards.
There will be a new reality show on TV called "lawn wars," based on two families living in the south, where lawn care is a religion, to some.
Michael will spend most waking moments at the pool as soon as it opens, and turn a deep shade of mahogany [skin] with reddish hair.
I will be forced to clean out my garage when I find I cannot open the door to get in there.
I will blog every day, as God is my witness, even if I have to eat a dirty radish and stand in silhouette against the window while music swells behind me... [anyone recognize the reference? anyone? Bueller?!]
I will start to embrace abstract art like this photo taken by my son the genius:
