I don't think a whole lot about my son being an amputee, because it has so little impact on our daily lives. I help him tie his shoes and sometimes help him with other small tasks, but that's about it. He can tie his shoes himself, but if we're in a hurry I just tie them for him.
I was rudely reminded recently that he is regarded as "handicapped" by ignorant folks who don't know him. He tried out for a little league baseball team a couple of weeks ago and I was called and told he had not made the team because he couldn't field the ball quickly enough. I had watched him hit line drive after line drive when he was up at bat. I couldn't believe this guy was telling me Michael wasn't good enough to be on the team. I could barely restrain my temper. "If he had a chance to be on a team, he would get better at fielding. It's because he hasn't had the practice doing it, or anybody showing him how, that's the only reason he couldn't throw as far as the other boys, or as fast." I was shaking when I hung up. I was SO upset.
For one of the very few times in my life, I felt deep regret at being a single mom. I cannot teach my son how to throw. I don't know how, and even if I did, I couldn't show him because of my deformed shoulder. Mother and I asked Michael the next morning how he felt about not making the team, and he shrugged and said it didn't matter. He seemed very blase, but I knew he was upset. The second team in a few weeks had rejected him. I asked him if he wanted to go out for pony league [which doesn't require a tryout] and he said no. There's a large church nearby that has a big sports program and their baseball team is highly regarded, but the fees are $165 and I simply don't have it.
I showed Michael this video about an adopted Chinese girl who is a triathlete, and his only remark was "That's cool."
If Michael had a more obvious limb difference I could probably find some grant money somewhere so he could compete in athletic events with other amputees. He wants to compete with folks who have all 4 limbs, though, and in that he will always be seen as not quite good enough.
As much as it hurts to watch Alesia go through the dating rituals, it hurts a lot more to see Michael struggle to compete and find acceptance. I am at a total loss as to what to do.
He loves sports, but at 14, kids in sports now on school teams are so good, he can't compete. Maybe if I'd gotten him started at 5 or 6 it would've made a difference. Then his soccer/baseball/basketball skills might be where they need to be.
His tennis team is practicing now but it's a very young and inexperienced team and I doubt they will have a winning season. I fought hard to make the team a reality, though, so he would have SOME sport he could play.I am the co-captain.
He doesn't like running because after he runs a short while he gets a pain in his chest. I have no idea why. I don't know anything about running. The last time I mentioned it to the doctor, he didn't think it was a big deal.
I bet Mike would be a good golfer, but I can't afford that sport.
He could play on the church basketball team with Colton but Michael says no, he doesn't want to. He's still small for his age and shooting baskets is a challenge, with or without a prosthetic.
I don't want him to give up.
Every time he starts anything new, he wears his prosthetic until the other kids get used to seeing him, then after a time he will go without it and hope they don't comment.
The other day at tennis practice, one of the new players on the team was horsing around and whacked him pretty hard on his left hand. I was so ticked. He has ONE hand, and this kid hit him? His thumb was swollen and red. Then the kids who hit him didn't apologize. I seriously wanted to call the child's mother, but Michael asked me not to. He never wants to feel different or call attention to his missing hand.
Growing up as a fat kid, I totally understand that. I totally sympathize with not wanting to seem different or weird.
I am sort of in a quandary. I am praying about it.
Here he is on the tennis court in September 2008, just a couple of months after he started playing.
Here he is at the Adventure Amputee Camp last summer.
