The Crab Chronicles

Dad

Missing my dad today...

Europe, 1952

Wedding day, February 8, 1957

below, holding 2 year old Bruce and infant Dee, 1962

 

Corn and Zucchini, Oh My

When the highlight of the day is eating corn, maybe you think, it's not such a great day, but actually it was fine.I went to the store and did laundry, and had a good visit with Lesleigh. It's all good.

We went to Sherry's Produce Stand today just after Kroger, and got some WONDERFUL corn on the cob. I hate cleaning corn on the cob and I always wonder if it will be worth all the effort, because I pull off silk with a magnifying glass and tweezers. I hate corn silk in my teeth. This corn ROCKED, though. I think it was just picked yesterday. That's what made the difference.

The rest of our Saturday evening meal was the usual hodge podge. Mother had leftover country fried steak with peppers and rice. Mike and I had Aidell's Italian Sausage, which is wonderful. We had corn. We had leftover white acre peas. For dessert, we had coffee ice cream. Mike and I ate way too much of it. There is simply nothing better than Breyer's coffee ice cream.

My tombstone will one day read "I'm starting the diet tomorrow!"

Lesleigh came over and visited with us at lunch, and managed to find 4 huge zucchini in my garden. I gave her the biggest one to take home. It weighed about 4 lbs. Seriously.

Les paid me a great compliment. She said she likes the way I cook zucchini. She is not a big foodie like I am, but she appreciates good food. She came over the other night and I fixed some zucchini from our garden. I just washed it, sliced it, and sauteed it in some Plugra butter and garlic salt, and it was awesome. There's not reason to get all complicated if it's fresh zucchini. Simplify. Taste the deliciousness of the zucchini.

I am getting all carried away here. Let me pause to gather my thoughts...

When Mike was at the pool and Les had left, I got some work done.

Here's the nice thing about working from home. I can work on pieces for the Big, Bold Beautiful Blog whenever I feel like it. I am doing an interview tomorrow at 11 a.m. Yes it interferes with church time, but I am Episcopalian and we only show up occasionally in the summer anyway.

FUNNY

We were discussing career options with Alesia the other night, and I said she ought to look into being a hairdresser. She could get a Pell grant [we hope] to take the cosmetology classes, then work as a hairdresser until she had enough money to do something else, if she wished. Alesia is good with hair and makeup.

I suggested she go observe my cousin Tim, who is a hairdresser. I told her she could be the shampoo girl. Her expression was priceless when she said "Would I have to shampoo OLD men? Bald old men with DANDRUFF?!"

I looked at her. This is the person who is not squeamish about cleaning up Coco poo or vomit.

"Well, yes. Most people don't have dandruff, though."

Mother chimed in. "You can't NOT shampoo anyone, it's not legal."

"Then I don't want to do hair," Alesia said firmly.

There was a brief silence.

"What about taking the courses to be a nurse's aide?" Mother suggested.

Quick as a flash, Michael piped up - "Really? She can't even handle DANDRUFF Granny!"

We about fell out laughing.

She is looking into becoming a mechanic.

Seriously.

Dads Who Inspired Me

I was thinking today about the fact that father's day is coming up, and while I don't have a father any more [at least not here on earth] he was always an inspiration to me. So I wanted to talk for a minute about him, and about a few other dads who have inspired me.

How dull life would be if there were not other people to inspire us to dream big, to pursue goals, to be our best selves.

My dad grew up in poverty, the son of a man who didn't make it past the 6th grade and could barely read, but all 3 of his sons went to college, and two of them got master's degrees. My dad was always adamant that my brother and I get good educations, because for him, it was so hard. He told me stories of all the jobs he had to take on just to pay his own way thru college, because he couldn't utilize the GI bill like his brothers. One job was sleeping overnight in a funeral home in Athens, because nobody wanted that job and it didn't bother Dad.

Dad was a wonderful and gifted storyteller, and his love of stories inspired me to want to write. Dad was a great raconteur but he wasn't gifted at writing down his stories.

When I was just out of school and I started working, Dad inspired me in a lot of ways, but primarily with his work ethic. My dad had his faults but nobody ever said Tony Thompson didn't work hard. He worked hard all day at the bank, then came home and worked around the house. We always had lush, verdant gardens and beautiful yards.

I used to wonder why he worked so hard. Now that I have a yard and gardens I understand that yearning to go outside and dig in the dirt, to do something real and see tangible results - the antidote to shuffling papers and corporate BS all day.

LEWIS

Another dad figure who inspired me was my uncle, Lewis Thompson. He was a wonderful artist and his paintings are all over our house, all of them treasured. Lewis started to throw away some oil paintings he did in college, many years ago, and Dad said no, we want them.

Lewis was a character, but everyone who knew him loved him. He was very tall and skinny, but Lewis was a superb athlete, and excelled at tennis and golf. He taught art for more than 35 years at Hollins College.He drew the cover illustration for the Hollins Critic from 1964 until his death in 2002.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an artist. Lewis inspired me to draw and paint and be creative.I wanted to learn about art because I wanted to understand him better.

Lewis also inspired me to write. He used to take trips and write these long, funny accounts of his trips. I still have many of those. He was not a writer, but he painstakingly typed them out on a typewriter.He would make copies and mail them to his brothers, and we always loved reading about his trips. Mother complained after the first one that he didn't talk about food enough, so thereafter he included many details about his dining experiences, even if it was to merely say "Shoney's has a good breakfast bar," or some such thing. Most of his comments were really droll, like "The veal was edible only because we had a lot of whiskey."

His dry wit shone through every page of his trip journals. I will never forget a memorable river trip down the Colorado, which Lewis undertook in his 60's, without his wife or friends, just for fun. His wife was a gourmet cook, so he was used to fine food. The touring group he was with didn't have any gourmets cooking over the fire. The first day, after paddling down the Colorado river all day, the dinner was pita bread filled with something. Lewis hated it. Thereafter, when talking about the meals they ate at the end of each day he would say "The HATED pita bread appeared!" That still makes me laugh.

Me, Dad, and Lewis about 1990.

PAPA

Another huge inspiration to me was my grandfather, Bob Hasty. He was one of the most gentle, loving men I've ever known. He was a wonderful father to my mom and her two brothers.He also raised many of his nephews, or had them over for extended visits [like all summer].

He was a father figure to me throughout my early childhood. Unlike my dad, Papaw was quiet and slow-moving and gentle. I spent many happy hours sitting in his lap while he read me bible stories, or Swiss Family Robinson, or Heidi.

Papa inspired me to be a good girl. He never threatened me with punishment. I just never wanted to see a look of disappointment on his face if I misbehaved.

Papaw gave me my love of cakes. After he retired, he decided he wanted to learn to make cakes, because he loved them so much. He was an engineer at heart, and his pound cakes were measured precisely, and they were works of art. He would put on a big apron, and tie a smaller version of his apron on me, and I would sit in the kitchen and watch him, fascinated. I'd always get to lick the bowl and the beaters. Those are very  happy memories for me.

Around 1995 I started researching my grandfather's life and he inspired a screenplay I wrote about his baseball career. I fictionalized the couple in the screenplay because I didn't know all the facts surrounding why he left major league baseball in 1925. Through the research, I gained a great understanding of him as a man, and the struggles he had gone through in his life. Most of my research was talking to my mother, who has an amazing memory, and I got a wonderful long, handwritten letter from my uncle Bobby Hasty, telling me what he could recall.I also researched baseball of the 1920's, Pacific Coast baseball, and many other topics. It was a fascinating experience.

My grandparents lived through the Depression of the 1930's like so many others, learning to be frugal and careful, and to "use it up and wear it out." We still have two of the flour sack aprons my grandmother sewed.

My grandfather was a baseball player, a businessman, and worked at Foremost Dairies and Lockheed, and did many other things to support his family, including farming.

Papaw inspired me to be gentle and sweet, and to love generously.

Me and Bruce with Papaw and Mamaw, about 1965.

*****************************************************************************************************************

Even though my children don't have a "father" per se, they have men who have reached out to them with love and kindness, and taught them things I never could - teachers, coaches, others. My children also have been "fathered" by Uncle Bruce, and they adore my brother.

My son is one of the sweetest people I know, and I know one day he will make a wonderful father.

To all of you, I hope you have a happy Father's Day weekend!

Dad and two of our dogs, early 90's.

After the Storm

Well, it's been a whirlwind of a day, and I am only now getting a chance to calm down and get a chance to be quiet, while Mother naps. Coco naps every afternoon, too, unless someone walks down the street in front of our house. Then she feels compelled to growl and bark at them.

I think what Coco barks, in doggie language, is something like, "HEY YOU! TALL HAIRY THING! DON'T EVEN THINK OF USING MY LAWN AS A TOILET!"

Coco loves people and hates other dogs. HATES other dogs. Wants nothing to do with them.

However, if you are a person who is sweaty, even just slightly, and you sit on one of the sofas in the family room, she will make it her mission to lick you very thoroughly, and if you hold still she will clean out your ears. She will love you thoroughly.

She loves Mr. Whaley, our plumber. [Don't you think his name is appropriate?!] Coco will squeal like a canine banshee when she sees him or Joe, the bug guy. They always pick her up and love on her.

On the rare occasion when Coco meets a human she doesn't care for, if I notice it I then tend to not like the person. Be warned - if my dog doesn't like you, you need to go.

I started a new part-time job this morning. I was 45 minutes late, much to my chagrin. Thank goodness my new boss is a really nice man, and he had checked his email this morning. I overslept, then had to run to get Alesia to school, then had to take Michael to pick up Blondie, who had sheltered with some folks who live about a mile away and were good enough to keep her in their yard during the thunderstorms last night.I dropped her off at her home, with Michael, kissed him, and took off. Fortunately the office is only 20 minutes away, and there was a McDonald's on the way.

I had breakfast in the car. Wasn't the first time.

So I got to the office late, but it was a pleasant morning and it's good to get back to the swing of things in the regular working world. Contract jobs leave a lot to be desired in terms of security, even though they tend to pay better.

I am only working 4 hours a day, in the mornings. So I have afternoons to work on other things.

After the storms of last night, the weather today is really nice. Right now it's only 89 - a cool day here in Hot-Lanta.

I am following my friend Stephanie's blog with great excitement. She and her hubby are in Bulgaria, on their last adoption trip.

My cousin Mark, who is a wonderful photographer, sent me the photo below. I just love it, and I wanted to share it. [I added the wording]

Thunderstorms

Thunderstorms have erased two posts, aaargh! I might as well give up and go to bed. Lots of rain and thunder, power outages, etc. Just makes life too much fun.

I spent a lot of time this afternoon doing another copy edit on my new book, The Warrior's Box. I kept finding mistakes and I am fanatic about trying to fix things...

Michael is pet-sitting and his doggie charge keeps getting out of her yard. What a nightmare. The poor doggie is freaked out.

Tried to roast a spaghetti squash from my garden but it wasn't mature enough. So disappointing... However, we did eat some zucchini from the garden. SO much better than shipped ones..

I am starting a new part-time job tomorrow. Hope it's a happy experience for us all. Will let you know.

I will post a better one tomorrow.

 

odyssey

I am always amazed at how life throws curveballs. I never have a dull day, that's for sure.

We were in Goodwill this morning and the clerk said "It's senior discount day. Would you like the senior discount?" I just stared at her, thinking she must be talking to someone else, perhaps some tall person behind me...?

"How old do you have to be?" Michael piped up.

"It's for anybody 55 and older," the lady said.

"Ive got a ways to go before I am 55," I said, trying to sound lighthearted and cheerful, and non-homicidal.

I will be 49 on July 4th. I have very little gray hair, and fat fills in wrinkles so HUH?!? Do I LOOK 55??

yikes.

Good thing my 20+ year odyssey I think of now as The Great Husband Hunt is long over and I have very little vanity left.

Goodwill is my favorite place to shop. Michael found a beautiful white Perry Ellis sports shirt for less than $5. He also got a lovely pink cotton Land's End sports shirt for less than $5. How can you beat those deals?!? I got a lovely set of 4 blue glass Pyrex bowls, nested inside each other, for $12. They are pretty enough to use as serving bowls, and Pyrex is good stuff. We have Pyrex Mother bought back in the 1960's..

I got Michael one of those aluminum water bottles for $1.50.

Alesia didn't come home until midnight last night, and then was sassy. We had quite a discussion in the car today. She cannot fathom that she worries me when she doesn't show up, doesn't call, doesn't text, etc. I don't know where she is, who she's with, or what she's doing MOST of the time.

Her boyfriend broke up with her. It hardly seems to have fazed her at all.

During The Great Husband Hunt, if I dated someone for several weeks and really liked them, then they broke up with me, it HURT. Either Alesia is hiding her feelings well or she didn't care that much. I don't know which. She has a lot of maturing to go before she can handle a real relationship, I'm afraid.

Anyway, I am trying not to let her antics upset me, but it's hard. I was awake at 5:30 this morning, my brain spinning out of control, and finally I got up and just wrote her a letter.

My mother used to do that when she was upset with my dad - write to him. I don't think she always even showed him what she wrote, but she wrote in order to calm herself and try to put things in perspective. Me too. It works. They were married for almost 40 years, BTW.

I also had a talk with Michael this morning and reassured him that no matter what's up with his sister or my job situation, we are a fmaily and we will be OK.

He started watching the Genghis Khan movie last night and LOVED it. Ha!

FUNNY

From David Letterman:

Top Ten Betty White Tips for Living a Long and Happy Life

10. Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you're ugly
9. Exercise. Or don't. What the heck do I care?
8. Never apologize — it shows weakness
7. The best way to earn a quick buck is a slip-and-fall lawsuit
6. Avoid tweeting any photos of your private parts
5. Schedule nightly appointment with Dr. Johnnie Walker
4. Take some wheatgrass, soy paste and carob, toss in the garbage and cook yourself a big piece of pork
3. Try not to die
2. Never dwell on past mistakes, especially you, LeBron
1. Don't waste your time watching this crap

[Editorial aside: I love Betty White. I've thought she was hysterical ever since the early days on Password, and she was the best thing about the Mary Tyler Moore Show, IMHO]

Genghis Khan Thompson

Why is it I can never get both of my kids to be in a good humor on the same day? One is always grumpy when the other one is contented.

Alesia was in a good mood this morning, despite a lot of math homework to deal with today and an appointment with her tutor at school.

Michael, though, not so much.

Of course, I had to get Michael up at 8:30 so he could walk down to the neighbor's house and check on their animals and walk the dog. Getting up that early in the summer means there is only a 50% chance Michael will be in a happy mood the rest of the day.

Then I asked Michael to help me get Coco to the vet, where they clip her nails. Her paws are so tiny, it's a tricky thing, clipping her nails, and we'd rather pay the vet tech to do it. Coco, however, has a lot of issues with her bowels, and upchucks a lot. She's medically fragile. I loaded Coco and Michael into the car, then I made a stop at the post office to run in and mail something. Michael, who had been holding Coco for about 2 minutes, refused to get out of the car. Coco had somehow managed to upchuck and get poop smears on Michael's shirt and he was NOT happy about it. In fact, he glared at me horribly throughout the rest of the trip. He refused to leave the car at the vet's office.

On the way home, he gave me the stinkeye, barely tolerated Coco sitting in his lap, and I thought his head would explode when she spit up on his shorts.

"Everything can be washed, Mike. I will wash the whole outfit for you," I said. Usually my kids always wash their own clothes.

I tried another tack. "Look, when you grow up and become a dad you will have to change poopy diapers, and babies always throw up on you. It's just part of life. Little creatures cannot control themselves."

He glared at me and through gritted teeth muttered "I'm NOT a grownup YET!"

"You're almost 15," I argued.

His clothes are in the washer right now. I hope after they are nice and clean he will not refuse to wear them again.

I ordered a movie from Netflix called Mongol, The Rise of Genghis Khan, which was partially filmed in Kazakhstan. I am excited about seeing it. Michael was horrified when we got the movie and he read the explanation. "It's NOT a comedy," he groused.

"Well, no, Genghis Khan was not known as a laugh riot, but this is part of your personal history, and I thought it would be great to see Kazakhstan again..." I said lamely.

Michael prefers comedies.

He is at the swimming pool this afternoon, likely turning an even more impressive shade of brown.

As soon as Alesia gets home we are going to make her boyfriend a birthday cake. I suspect that will be a lot sweeter than Michael when he gets home and learns we are going to watch Mongol even if I have to get all mideval on his butt... LOL

Yep, that's him on my bed, shooting me the bird..... LOL

Home

To my immense relief, Alesia called tonight from work and said she was sorry, she realized she had been wrong and she wanted to come home. I told her she would have to behave herself. We had quite a discussion in the car when I picked her up from work, and she was crying, which is rare, for her. So I am giving her another chance.We will talk more tomorrow.

Thanks for the prayers and concern.

Raising kids is never easy...

Gone Again

Well, just when I think things are going pretty well, the bottom falls out. Alesia and I got into an argument this morning and she decided to leave home. There was no yelling or crying, just a lot of disagreement. She is at work now, until 10 tonight, and has packed bags full of her clothes and things there at work. She says she is moving out permanently. I told her I thought that was a really bad choice, but she ignored me.She's going to live with a friend, I am sure, so I am not really worried about her, more just annoyed.

Clearly, she has life lessons to learn and she refuses to let me help her. Please pray she gets some maturity and sees the error of her ways. I cannot seem to get her to see reason.

Drama Mama

Yesterday was a drama day, but almost none of it involved my family members, thanks be to God.

The first drama did involved family. I caught Alesia smoking. I knew she had been sneaking them sometime back, but I thought she had quit. She got yet another lecture on that nasty habit. I didn't yell or scream, however. I told her how I quit, years ago, and tried to by sympathetic. Aside from the health dangers, though, there's the appalling cost of a pack of cigarettes now - over $4! Yikes.

Our second drama was thunderstorms that swept across the area. We badly needed the rain. I took the kids to CVS, and Michael slipped and fell getting in the door. The automatic doors weren't working right plus the floor was wet. I didn't see him fall, but he had a nasty scrape on his knee.

Rarely does a day go by without Michael getting a boo boo somewhere. Usually the mishaps happen at the pool. Yesterday he didn't go to the pool.

We went to the movies yesterday and saw Hangover II. I did not care for it, as you can tell if you click on that link.

We got home and Michael went to the neighbor's house to check on their dog. He is supposed to be feeding pets and taking care of their house while they are out of town. She had left, torn up the back gate and left. She's a yard dog. Michael was so upset. After looking for her, calling her, alerting all the neighbors, etc., he finally got her back last night about 8:45.

I started to fix chicken for dinner last night and it had spoiled. ICK. I hate cooking chicken anyway. So I fixed tuna salad instead, and we had a green bean salad.

Michael ate a huge plate of both salad, then some of the peach cobbler I had made. Then he sat down at the table looking mournful. I asked him what was wrong. "I'm still hungry!" he said. "Well eat some more then!" I told him.

He ate another huge plate full of food. Hey, I was fine with it. Everything he ate was good, not junk food.

In the middle of the night last night, more drama. We had a power failure. I just went back to sleep, but poor Michael said the alarm started beeping and he had to go turn that off.

Poor kid.

I just realized my first sentence is ridiculous. All the drama yesterday involved my family. Duh!

Mother published a new post that I just edited for her. Now I have a HORRIBLE craving for Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Thanks a lot!

Hope y'all have a relaxing and non-dramatic day...