The Crab Chronicles

Bees and Cheese

I was wracking my brain to try and think of something interesting to write about and it occurred to me that there has been some excitement around here today, it just didn't involve me directly.

First I knew of it, I was on the way home from work and I got a pitiful phone call from Michael saying "You come in through the garage door, Granny says. There are BEES near the front door! OK, Bye." OK, well, there's a story there I thought.

Michael came home from the pool around 3 and put his float on the front porch, and some bees that had been chilling out in one of our wicker chairs decided to play Bite and Chase. Poor guy has a bite right next to his nipple. He's been complaining about it a lot. We tried icing it down [don't laugh!] and I put some rubbing alcohol on it. He's freaked out. It's nothing though. He got double-bit by bees when he was walking home from elementary school a few years ago, and it started a great fear of bees.

Of course, this is the south, and there are a lot of flowers in the neighborhood [older homes] plus I have planted a bunch of flowers in the yard. I suspect he will try to get out of watering my pot plants on the front porch, citing the horrible bee sting as an excuse. Hmm...

After the disappointing started to my garden, I am pleased to report we have a bumper crop of fresh tomatoes. I took some to my boss today and he seemed delighted. I was tempted to give him the little speech Shirley Macline gave in Steel Magnolias, something like "I'm an old white southern woman and I have to grow tomatoes. It's a rule." I like that very much. It's true too - I don't even eat raw tomatoes but I feel compelled to grow them.

There were some funny things in that movie, but here's my final word on it:

ALL THE ACCENTS IN Steel Magnolias ARE FAKE EXCEPT JULIA ROBERTS AND DOLLY PARTON!! Nobody in the South talks like Olympia Dukakis or Daryl Hannah did.Dolly and Julia sound actually southern but the wrong state - Dolly sounds like East Tennessee, and Julia sounds like North Georgia - Louisiana accents are totally different - that's where the movie is supposedly set.

Also, and very important: there is no one southern accent, there are HUNDREDS.

Anyway, I have a lot of beautiful tomatoes. We will eat some and freeze some. If you dip a tomato in boiling water for 8 seconds, the skin slips right off, and you can put 'em in a freezer bag whole and they freeze beautifully. Then in January you can make marinara sauce that's to die for.

 

Michael and his Granny had a good time making pimento cheese yesterday. We want him to learn to cook more. He already makes wonderufl guacamole, with tomatoes and onions. Now he has added pimento cheese - the real kind, not that yucky stuff you buy ready made. Here's Mother's recipe:

PIMENTO CHEESE

1 bag grated sharp cheddar,

1 block smoked cheese, grated [we love Tillamook cheese! see below]

1 jar minced pimentos,

2 tbl onion powder,

1 tbl garlic powder,

enough mayonnaise to moisten.

Mix thoroughly. Best the next day. I also like a little red pepper in it but didn't use any in this.

It's hard to stir, at first, and that's where Mike's incredibly strong left arm was a big help.

He has been eating it for breakfast. Makes a great breakfast.

Perchance to Burp

Michael had a happy day yesterday, and it was OK for me too, until last night. Then the demon stomachache from HELL struck. I will spare you the yucko details but suffice to say I didn't get much sleep.

Got up this morning and got dressed for work thinking I could just bluff my way through but after eating my usual breakfast [2 eggs over easy on toast, and a cup of tea] I was so nauseated I fell back into the bed.

I did eventually go in, and it was intense. A friend of mine came in to consult with the attorney I work for, and she has quite a medical malpractice case, so that took up a good bit of my time. I know Roger [my boss] can help her, though.

Funny story - Coco refused to take ANY turkey from Mother late this afternoon after I got home, but would let me hand-feed her. No, she's not spoiled...

I rallied around 6:30 and made a simple dinner, and managed to eat some chicken and baked beans, but I stayed away from anything like a salad.

Here's a little bit of Shakespeare I re-wrote a bit to fit the day I've had, which was filled with slings and arrows:

To be nauseous, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the belly to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageously bad honey mustard sauce,
Or to eat saltines against a sea of burps,
And by opposing end them? To belch: to try and not sleep;
No more fast food! - and by that vow to say we end
The belly-ache and the thousand unnatural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To munch, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the Vick's Vapo-rub;
For in that belly of death what dreams may come

What dreams indeed...
If you want to see an interesting remix of the speech check out this. 
For a funny version, see the Sesame Street version

Mikes Birthday Celebration

It blows my mind to think my baby boy will be 15 years old in one week! Wow. We did his birthday celebration with his friends today, because his friend Colton is leaving tomorrow and will be out of town the rest of July. It's so hard to plan parties for Mike's July 19th birthday, because kids are always on vacation or away at camp.

I left work at 1:30, picked up Colton and Bart and brought them back to my house, where they "chilled" for a while. Then we went to Dave and Buster's. mike originally wanted to play mini golf, but it was almost 100 degrees here and there were thunderstorms rumbling all afternoon, and I just said nope, it's TOO too hot. The kids had fun at D&B, though, and I sat and read a book and nursed a Sprite for two hours, which is fine. I don't mind.

The book I took to read was one my mother gave me for my birthday, by ventriloquist Jeff Dunham, All By My Selves. He is the same age as me. Writes well. Parts of it are quite funny, too.

After that I took the boys to Stevie B's Pizza. Not the greatest pizza in the world but when you have teenage boys, you want to take them to a buffet. Trust me on this one. "All you can eat" are my new favorite words.

The boys were so cute in the car, singing along to all the songs. "I Just Can't Get Enough" by the Blackeyed Peas was a big hit. If you want to learn the song, here's the video. I generally hate anything except old fogie music, but this is kind of a fun song, I must admit...

We came back and had birthday cake:

Alone With Larry

I can't say much because I am on my lunch hour at work, but I wanted to do a quick update. Thank you SO much to everyone who commented, and to my friend Cindy, whose support really lifted me up when I was feeling blue yesterday.

I went to the movie yesterday afternoon, to see the new Tom Hanks offering, Larry Crowne, and enjoyed it. It's a comedy about a middle-aged man who goes to college for the first time so he can further his career after being laid off. When I think of the movies I've seen on the topic of being downsized (Company Men, Up In the Air) Larry Crowne is definitely a lightweight, but it's enjoyable. Tom Hanks is looking old, which I guess is inevitable, but startling. Julia Roberts does a great job with a rather unsympathetic character. The depiction of the college students was a bit pie-in-the-sky, however, unless I miss my guess. They didn't even say a single cuss word. It will be easy to show it on TV in a year or so, however. Oh, and Meryl Streep's daughter was in the movie. I spotted her right off because she looks a lot like her mother, and sounds like her.

My friend who was supposed to meet me didn't come, so I ended up seeing it by myself. I am trying to have some sort of outing with a friend now every week or two, so I was disappointed, needless to say. She called and said she couldn't find the theater and I told her exactly how to find it, but she couldn't, and instead of calling me she went home. Guess I need to buy her a GPS for her birthday...

While waiting for her, I nervously ate popcorn with theatre "butter" on it - which is really just oil -and it made me really nauseated for several hours after the movie. I was SO irritated with myself for doing something so stupid.

Eventually I did manage to eat a little tuna salad and some peaches for dinner.

We are in the dog days of summer already, and it's HOT HOT HOT outside - 92-98 every day, and it's a wet heat. Every time I go outside my hair becomes a mop of wet, messy curls. I change clothes after 10 minutes of doing anything in the yard. I need to get my big behind down to the pool, is what I should do.. [in the pool, nobody can tell if you're sweating]

Coco goes back to the vet this afternoon for another bandage change and I am anxious to hear what she says. Coco should be getting her stitches out soon, but that's a hazardoes thing with her, and her Ehlers-Danlos condition makes anything to do with her skin potentially life-threatening.

Happy Monday everyone.

Keys and Keanu

I did it again yesterday - lost something important. I walked in after work and put down my car keys and immediately forgot where they were. Just totally forgot. We needed to take Coco to the vet again to get her bandage changed.

I sent Michael upstairs because I had taken a few minutes to look at email. I looked all around. No car keys. I said a prayer. I opened my eyes, and they were hanging on the doorknob of the pantry in the kitchen. I purposely bought a huge ring years ago, to hang on doorknobs; where I can always find them. Also, it's easier to find the big ring in one of my cavernous purses.

We got to the vet's office and there was a lot of activity. Lots of dogs in and out - cute dachshunds, mutts, an adorable basset hound, and a couple of cats in crates. There is a lovely black and white grown female cat that the vet is trying to find a home for.

Coco's wound is being treated with Silver Sufadiazine cream, and it's working, thanks be to God. I know she hates wearing the cone, but we can't take a chance she will lick or bite the stitches.

Since Michael's foot wound isn't healing as well as he'd like, I put some of the cream for Coco on there, to see if it would help. It's a human medicine actually, not a canine one.

Michael and I watched the original Matrix movie last night, which he was keen on seeing again, for unknown reasons. While we watched a thunderstorm raged outside, which was pretty creepy. I do not think he's a great actor, but Keanu Reeves is so gorgeous, I don't really care.I like to look at him.

Lots to do this weekend. I am glad. I need to keep busy. Today is Alesia's 20th birthday and I have not seen or heard from her in several weeks. I have no idea where she is or what she's doing. I just pray she's safe and she will reconnect with us one day.

Cash Only

The minute I got to work yesterday the pressure was on, and it didn't let up until after 6 last night. Not all the stress was work-related though.In fact, most of it wasn't.

My mother called me around lunchtime and said the body shop where her car was being fixed had called and said it was ready to pick up. They also said they don't take credit cards. Yikes. So all afternoon I was trying to simultaneously work and figure out how we could pay to get the car back. We had to do a little juggling, but at least we have the car back, and it looks great - almost as good as the day she bought it in 2003.

I got home last night and watered my gardens, then came inside to rest for a minute before tackling dinner. I took off my glasses and put them down, then promptly forgot where I had put them. I checked email quickly and thought, I need to go make dinner, where are my glasses? Couldn't find them. Almost panicked. Put on an old pair and went downstairs and made dinner. Watched the movie wearing the old pair. Finally, when I went up to bed I said a prayer so I could find them. As soon as I walked in my room, I saw them - on the bed, right where I had put them. Prayers to find something always work!

Michael and I watched a good movie last night, The Company Men. It's about several men who get laid off from their jobs and how they deal with that. Sounds depressing, I know. It was actually very realistic and has excellent performances by Tommy Lee Jones, Ben Affleck, Chris Cooper, and Kevin Costner. Haven't seen Costner in a movie in a while. He's put on a few pounds but he's still very attractive. Problem is, in the movie he was trying to do a Boston accent, and it was hard to get past that, it was so jarring. Still, it was a movie worth watching.

BOOK GIVEAWAY

I got to know a lady recently named Melanie Jongsma, who sent me a book to review called Cancer Freedom. It's a personal memoir written by a lady who has battled breast cancer, and survived. She has a strong faith in God. I started reading it and was so distracted by all the turmoil with Alesia, I got sidetracked. I read about half of it, though, and it's an excellent little book.

I wish there had been something like Cancer Freedom to read when my dad was battling cancer. Personal memoirs always help, I think, to let folks understand they are not alone.

Melanie was kind enough to send me two extra copies. If you or someone you know is battling cancer, drop me an email and I will send along a copy, first come first served. It's also available on Kindle.

Wound Care and Haircut

It's been a really busy day and I need to get some rest, but I thought I'd do a quick update.

Going back to work after being off 4 days was jarring. Lots to do. I wasn't bored.

After work we had to take Coco back to the vets to get her dressing on her wound changed. The stitches aren't holding too well. She has a condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which makes her medically fragile. One small cut in her skin can open up over the course of a few hours, and suddenly she needs stitches. That's what happened last week. Below is a photo of our poor baby. Pray for her to heal, please..

Mike wanted a summer haircut, so we got him almost a buzz cut. I think he looks cute, but sorta too grownup to suit me. The tan lines on his face need to be evened out.

In the photo to the right you can see Coco but you can also see the booboo on Mike's foot where he injured it playing basketball.

 

 

 

 

Repairs

Well, yesterday afternoon was incredibly busy, and by the end of it I was somewhat dazed from all the activity. There are just so many things to do sometimes I am glad I work part-time, for now. It would be so difficult to do everything on my lunch hours and weekends.

Bruce always helps us with projects when he's here, and he got my tomatoes back in order yesterday morning. The tomato cages were toppled over from the weight of the plants. He also fixed the doorknob on mom's door and did othe small chores for us. He's a sweetie.

Most importantly, he drove over to a local body shop and we left my mother's Toyota Highlander to be repaired. He talked to the guy there about it. Men usually do better talking to other men about cars, I've noticed. Men tend to not use words like "huh?" and "the thingy" when having car discussions. Last summer, Alesia took the car without permission and ran into something, causing a flat tire, and damage to the front bumper. Then the door was damaged when we left the car in the driveway and some lovesick and crazy guy that Alesia had angered came into the driveway and tore off the passenger side mirror, then took a crowbar and tried to pry open the door. We started keeping Mother's car in the garage and installed security cameras to oversee the driveway area.

So Alesia SHOULD be paying to get the car fixed. She told us she would pay for the repairs. She never did pay for the repairs. What a shock. Now she has disappeared and I'm sure she will never pay for them, so Mother and I are just going ahead. We are concerned that driving around without a front bumper could be dangerous - a rock could bounce off the road into the engine, for instance.

My car is over 12 years old and has over 165,000 miles on it, so Mother's car is the best one we have.

Animal repairs are needed, too. We also took Coco to the vet for a followup. She has been licking on her stitches. So now, Coco now has her hurt place covered in sterile gauze and a white cloth and looks like she is wearing a diaper with a hole so she can poop and pee. We had to buy special ointment at a human pharmacy [CVS] and tomorrow after work I take her back so the vet can put it on her stitches, then they will re-wrap her up. She still has the cone but we bought her a new collar that holds the cone on. We were concerned the tie on the cone would irritate her skin. She goes back next week to get out the stitches. She appears to be in no distress. She weighs just a tad under 9 lbs.

I took Michael over to some batting cages to practice batting yesterday afternoon, but there were a bunch of teenaged guys there already monopolizing the cages, and so we left. I think we should try again when we can find a boy to go with him.

Tried to watch a movie last night called Lovely and Amazing that was recommended by a friend, but I couldn't watch it. One of the main characters was an incredibly shallow, self-centered, mean woman, and watching her say hurtful things to people just unwound me. I usually like Catherine Keener but in that film I wanted to slap her character. Michael agreed with me, we just couldn't watch it, so we turned it off. Oh well. Not every indie film with good actors in it is my cup of tea...

FREE KITTENS

My friend Bronwyn has 4 adorable kittens to give away, free to a good home. They are inside kitties and litter trained. If you're in the Atlanta area and interested, email me.This is one of the cuties:

Birthday Aftermath

My 49th birthday was a lovely day, relaxing and pleasant. We didn't get to a movie, but no big deal. There was an underlying sadness because Alesia didn't show up, or call, or even send an email or anything saying "happy birthday" but such is life.

I had tons of birthday wishes on Facebook, which really touched me.

We went to Sam's yesterday in the late morning, and there was nobody there, which was interesting. Usually it's very crowded. We found some good deals on things, which is the only reason to go to Sam's. As we were checking out, the checkout clerk, a young black man, said something to Bruce about us being together - we were sharing a buggy - and I said "That's my ELDERLY brother, Dude, notice all HIS gray hair?!" I then asked him if I could get a discount since it was my birthday. He looked startled for a moment, then laughed.

I was disappointed not to find Michael a new bathing suit. Polyester suits give him a strange rash on his legs, although polyester gym shorts don't, and they let him wear gym shorts at the pool here. I am just thinking when he goes to scuba camp he should have a proper bathing suit. Where do you find all cotton trunks, though? In a men's small? When I Google "Men's cotton swim trunks" I get tons of things but they are NOT cotton, they are all polyester. Grr..... now this is becoming a quest.

We had some huge booming thunderstorms late yesterday afternoon, but Bruce had put a Boston butt pork roast on the grill and it was fine. Thank goodness it's a gas grill with a heavy lid. He went outside and basted the meat frequently with a combination of V-8 juice, vodka, and spices. He also did a rub of olive oil, garlic salt, and seasoning salt, and that made a delicious crust on the outside. It was truly wonderful BBQ, just amazingly good. We also had roasted tomatoes, fresh cauliflower with cheese, fresh cantaloupe, some delicious croissants from Sam's, and cake and ice cream for dessert. Yum. Lesleigh came over and helped us eat all the goodies.

The thunderstorms ended around 7 and by 8:30 we were able to go out in the backyard and set off some fireworks. Bruce had stopped at a stand. I love fireworks but I hate crowds, so we only go watch professional fireworks once every few years.

Poor Coco has been biting her stitches so we had to put the cone on her. Bruce calls her "Conehead" of course. Poor baby.

I took the day off work today but it's been a busy day so far, and there are more errands to do, so it's off to ride around in the midday heat...

My Birthday Suit

OK, I am the most modest person in the known universe, and yet, sometimes common sense is just not in my brain and I wind up embarrassing myself unintentionally. Such was the case earlier this morning.

I went outside shortly after posting my blog this morning, thinking I'd just quickly water all the pots of flowers I have on my front patio. The bugs weren't out yet, fortunately. I've noticed that mosquitos like to sleep late, and if I get out and garden in the early morning, they usually leave me alone.

I was only wearing a nightshirt but it's a pretty heavy article, not revealing at all.

So I go outside and immediately I see Tom, my neighbor across the street, mowing his lawn. He has on no shirt. He's married, so I shrugged and thought whatever.

I then realized I wanted to water some new geraniums I planted down around the mailbox. I also wanted to get a look at the new mailbox Bruce gave me for my birthday.

Besides, this is a quiet older neighborhood. You don't usually see anyone on the street at 9 a.m. Everyone has already gone to work, and the early morning walkers and joggers are done.

So I filled up my big watering can and go traipsing across the law in my nighshirt and sandals.

I get to the mailbox and look around and suddenly then are TEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE walking down the street. Dog walkers, joggers, etc.

And there I am in my nightshirt. Everyone is staring at me.

I think to myself, WWDD? What Would Dad Do? He used to go out and get the newspaper every morning wearing ONLY a pair of boxer shorts. So I smiled and waved and nodded at everyone, like yeah, I like to garden in my bedclothes, WHAT OF IT?!

I sort of wished I'd had a sign that said HEY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY Y'ALL - BE GLAD I'M NOT IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT!