The Crab Chronicles

Goodies Games and Hats

OK, I didn't post much about the weekend, but it was a good one. Got supplies and actually started baking! There is pumpkin bread made [1 batch], and we've made several pans of homemade chocolate chip cookies.

I also made Ina Garten's Herb Dip yesterday - really excellent. Major yummy. I didn't even use fresh herbs, either. I used dried parsley and dill, and onion powder. Still wonderful.

My friends Steve and Melanie [Colton's aunt and uncle] took Michael and I out to dinner last night at a Thai place, and it was such a treat. Mother doesn't care much for Asian food, so she didn't join us, but I brought her some broccoli.. I ate crispy fried squid - yum. And rice, and chicken on a stick, and other things. I like to be adventurous on the rare occasions now when I get to eat out

I made two loaves of pumpkin bread tonight. I am not good about photographing food. I thought, what the heck, though, and took the masterpiece below. Why I took the one we had cut on instead of the one I'm sending home with Colton, who knows?!

Mike spent the night at Colton's house last night, and spent most of the day with Colton and Matthew, playing outside. The weather is in the 60's here. Tonight, it's the Monopoly marathon.

I had to bribe Michael with chocolate chip cookies to get a smile instead of a scowl. Worth it.

I bought him a nice sport coat at Goodwill not long ago, a Joseph A. Banks brand coat, which is very good quality, and he wore it and his new hat the other day and let me make some photos of some of the Christmas decorations.

After seeing him in the hat I had a mental "flash forward" moment, picturing him at 25!

There Is No Hope Here

When you see extreme poverty up close, it changes you. You either recoil and try to put it out of your mind, or you resolve to help.

I'll never forget one time my dad taking me inside the hovel where our maid lived when I was a small child. We drove her home every day. She lived in a shack with a dirt floor. I was stunned into silence and clung to Daddy's leg. I was no more than about 3 or 4 but that image has stayed with me.

I will never forget reading depositions when I was a very young paralegal, in Knoxville, and being in total shock. The firm where I worked represented coal companies in lawsuits for black lung. The miners usually lived back in the mountains, in remote areas, and had many children, no education, and often no electricity or running water. They lived without hope, without enough food, or warm clothes in winter, often illiterate, and they were less than 2 hours' drive from Knoxville.

When I saw the tiny shacks in Russia in 2003, with dirt floors and outhouses in the back, I remember thinking to myself, these remind me of the places I used to read about, tiny places where poverty is an everyday ugliness. It doesn't matter the language or the customs. Poverty is universal.

I had no idea I would spend a significant amount of money and time giving two children a decent life, away from that misery. I think of my son, homeless until age 8, and of my daughter, living in just such a shack until age 6, and I want to help other kids like them. I just can't adopt them all.

 

I went to high school with a pretty girl named Julie Burnette. She was a majorette. She was very pretty and very sweet. We didn't "hang out" but we were aware of each other. I was socially awkward and sort of a geeky kid, so we ran in different circles, but my impression was always that she was a good person. She wasn't snobby, like some of the really pretty girls at my school.

I had no idea until we connected on Facebook that Julie has lived an amazing life in the last thirty years.

While I was living the yuppy life, drinking lattes and going to the gym and writing screenplays in the early to mid 90's, Julie Holland (her married name) was reaching out to people in real poverty in Eastern Kentucky.

Borrowing from Amazon, this is the product description for a new book about Julie, There is No Hope Here.

"When, in 1994, Julie Holland heard God’s whispers, she turned to her step-father for help. John Boggs was a wealthy businessman who had escaped the poverty of Appalachia eastern Kentucky by attending a settlement school where he received comfort and an education. Growing up in poverty, he understood how a lack of hope sapped your soul. “Listen to your heart,” he told her. “Your heart will guide you.” She did and her heart led her to travel from Knoxville, Tennessee to minister to the families in those rugged mountains. THERE IS NO HOPE HERE is a true story, marked by humor and sadness, as a glimpse is offered into the eyes and souls of Appalachian poverty. It’s the story of how her love inspired others to follow and led to the start of the Mission of Hope, one of the most respected Christian charitable organizations in the southeast. It’s the story of Julie’s walk with God as He upholds her through the darkness of discouragement and a life-threatening illness. It’s an inspirational story set in one of the most challenging and beautiful places in America."

I am reading the book very quickly and yet slowly. It's so powerful that I often find tears in my eyes and I have to put it down.

Not only did Julie start her own charity, she did it while suffering from Lupus.

I am giving away 2 copies of the book. Leave me a comment or shoot me a Facebook message or email and I will enter your name in a drawing. I will draw the names of the winners December 21 [Wed.].

Thanks to Julie and others Mission of Hope is a thriving organization that helps people who really need it, right here in America. If you have any extra funds and want to donate to a very worthwhile cause, please donate to Mission of Hope.

Keep Going

I get the impression that Christmas celebrations are now kicking into high gear.That's OK. I'm cool with all of it except for the bane of my existence, TRAFFIC.

I'm not talking about Traffic the band from the 1970's.

Traffic getting home from work yesterday was AWFUL. Then today, around 1:00, Michael and I were headed up I-85 and the traffic was crawling along, for no discernible reason. Usually on Saturday you don't have such issues heading out of town. I pictured Atlantans with family in northern states all fleeing the city at the same time..

I decided this year to plot and plan my Christmas baking, instead of just approaching it willy-nilly like I usually do. I like making cakes and making food for people. I'm making some pumpkin bread (which is more like cake), some cookies, and Ina Garten's Herb Dip for some folks. I think sometimes people get turned off by so many sweets, so savory may be a good the way to go - depending on the individual, of course.Some folks can't handle that much dairy. They're getting cookies or something.

I am pondering how to make some cookies for a friend's daughter who is allergic to chocolate. Mike and I went to Publix this afternoon and got two big bags of white chocolate morsels, along with sugar, flour, and all the other paraphernalia of baking. I looked for macadamia nuts and couldn't find any. I don't care for white chocolate, so it's hard for me to work up any enthusiasm for eating these cookies, but I want to do something special for the child. What a bummer to be allergic to chocolate. I am assured that she CAN eat the white kind...

I have been hearing an upbeat and lively Christmas song [God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen] by the oddly named Barenaked Ladies, and if you're in a foul mood, listen to it. Great harmonies. One of my fave Christmas ditties. Oh, and it's a medley with We Three Kings, almost forgot that, so really two songs..

You know the letter I published here a couple of days ago? I sent the Christmas letter to a relative that told my mother she was sorry that I must be feeling "low." I was sort of surprised by that. I wasn't actually feeling low; more like relieved. I got through 2011 with my health and my faith intact. I grieve for my daughter; I suspect that will never go away. But I am here. We are all OK. (even Alesia, despite her poor choices lately). We have our house. We have kind and beautiful friends and caring family members, and even terrific neighbors who are also friends. PEOPLE are what make my life bearable.

The year is almost over. I believe that 2012 will be better for me. I have to believe that, or I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning.

I firmly believe that "When you're going through Hell, KEEP GOING."

I kept going.

I'm like the Energizer Bunny. Thanks for coming with me...

Photos of 2011 and Much Further Back Too

Looks like my photos didn't work too well so I am going to go again. These are from 2011, plus some old shots I scanned in last summer.

The house, last January during Snowmageddon..

The back yard...

Poor Coco, after her injury. Mike had a bad booboo on his foot, too. Forgot about that...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My front patio with flowers, the way it looks in summer... / Below, Mike and Colton goofing around last summer..

Above - I adore the above shot, of Michael and my friend Apryl's son, and a visitor from Kazakhstan, Gulya. Love those smiles!

This is a funny shot Mike took out the window that is right beside our kitchen table. The squirrels will do such acrobatics for bird seed!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the last photo I took of Alesia last summer, before she took off. I'm glad we were all in it. Makes me a bit sad to see it though...

This is an old photo of Mother I scanned in. I love this shot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Above, me and my father and my uncle Lewis, at the house on the lake in Tennessee, around 1989..

Above and below: these are some shots made in 1971, right after we moved to TN. I was about 8...

A Dickensian Christmas Letter

Below is my Christmas letter. This one is a departure from recent years. I do NOT want to ever have another year like 2011 again. If you are a regular reader here you already know most of this but if not, well, brace yourself..

Greetings Fellow Sufferers…

I started not to write a Christmas letter this year and then I thought nah, it was an awful year, but then again, if things were never rotten I wouldn’t appreciate the good stuff when it happens, eh?!

January we were stuck inside for a week with Snowpocalypse, or Snowmageddon, or whatever you want to call it. Boy was it boring. I don’t know how people in snowy places stand it. Oh wait, I bet there are snowplows up there and they aren’t trapped in their houses all the time…

The late winter was marred by Mother’s near death experience. She was rushed to the hospital in late February for emergency pacemaker surgery. She was sitting at her desk and fainted. I found her and got her revived, and shortly thereafter to the hospital. The cardiologist told me later that most older folks who live alone die in that situation. She had fluid in her lungs, and a condition called ventricular tachycardia. I told Mother a couple of days later, she better just get used to the pacemaker because she ain’t going anywhere yet.

She refuses to go near the microwave, but that seems to be the only big effect..

The winter and spring saw me at a series of temp jobs that didn’t work out for one reason or another. One seemed like a great job until they demanded I be there 7 days a week.

My daughter’s behavior all spring was increasingly chaotic, and I realized only much later that she was using drugs. She would disappear for a few days at a time. It was nerve-wracking, to say the least.  Finally, things came to a head in early June when she was arrested for shoplifting. She didn’t want to live here at home and follow my boring old rules. She went off to “party” and do her own thing. She is now in South Carolina living with a boyfriend. That’s all I want to say about that, except this: I hear from her every few weeks by phone or text, and I pray for her many times a day. She has big life lessons to learn.

Sometime during the summer, Coco got a massive cut in her side and had to be rushed to the animal emergency clinic because of her Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. We had to leave her overnight, then take her in to see the regular vet every other day for a couple of weeks for bandage changes. It was quite an ordeal. We almost lost her.

I started a new paralegal job in June. My boss is a good guy. I just wish it was full-time. I am working about 30 hours a week for him, and also doing some very part-time work from home for an old friend who has a business in California. So I have two part-time jobs.

I wrote and edited some articles for a new blog called The Big Bold Beautiful Blog, which was fun, but the lady who runs it decided not to keep doing the blog in 2012.

We were not able to take a vacation this year, due to the financial situation.

In June, Publisher’s Podium published a children’s book I wrote called The Warrior's Box. It’s only available as an e-book, though, and sales have not been good. I wrote an article about it in July.

An old friend of mine moved in with us in September, and left just before Thanksgiving. I was glad to be able to help him out at a time when he was really strapped financially, but I ended up really wanting my house back.

Let’s see, what else?!?

-          My Mazda died, so we are down to one car.

-          Poor Michael has an awful case of acne. I am trying everything possible to help him get his face cleared up.

-          I planted a bunch of squash plants in my garden, but got a total of TWO squashes, that’s all.

-          Michael got a terrible sinus infection just before Thanksgiving and missed three days of school.

-          Michael’s tennis team had a dismal fall season, and there aren’t enough boys for a spring team. Hopefully he will make the tennis or baseball team at school in the spring.

-          Michael needs a new prosthetic and my insurance doesn’t cover it. I am having a hard time trying to find funding for it. [They run about $30K]

-          The government owes me a hefty tax refund, but they are delaying sending it. My accountant has written, called, etc.

-          My upstairs air conditioner died last summer, and I couldn’t afford to replace it. We are making do with window units upstairs. The downstairs one is fine.

I am wracking my brain to think of anything GOOD that happened in 2011. My job is one thing..

I have had some poems published, here and here.  A new book coming out next year called The Divinity of Dogs includes a story I wrote about Coco.

I’ve also got a sort of part-time job reviewing plays for a website called The Edge, and that has enabled me to go to some fun plays, for free. The favorite was when Mike and I saw Come Fly Away, with choreography by Twyla Tharp and music by Frank Sinatra.

I still have my faith. I know the Lord was looking out for us in 2011, even though it seemed very dark, at times.

I think on New Year’s Day this year I am going to eat a LOT of greens and blackeyed peas. I need all the money and luck I can get in 2012!

Hope your year wasn’t as bad as ours, and your 2012 is a terrific year!

XOXOXOXOX

Dee

 

 

Lizard Movies

I had a plan to do a cute blog about my Christmas tree and decorations, but, um, didn't get the photos made. Busy day yesterday. Lots going on.

Michael missed three days of school just before Thanksgiving break, and hasn't really caught up, and so he's having issues in math and science. His math teacher refused to help him yesterday, which annoyed me no end. I took him in early specifically to get help.

The science teacher is nice and Mike likes her, but she gives a lot of homework. Her tests are hard, too. I have told him over and over to bring home his book and study all along, not wait until the last minute. Does he listen to me? Nope.

The irony is, I pay for good grades in his core classes. He gets $20 per A and $10 per B. C's earn him nothing.

So we had some after school drama here yesterday.

I did make a good dinner. I put a small pork tenderloin in the oven, plus we had red skin potatoes, and a big salad. I've gotten to where I really like the little pork tenderloins. I sear them in butter, then pop the meat in a pan. I melt more butter in the pan and add soy sauce, ginger [from a tube, but it's good], fresh garlic, and some honey and grade jelly. Taste to make sure the balance of sweet and salty is there. Pour that over the roast and bake at 300 for several hours. Yum.

We finished a movie last night that I loved, but Michael wasn't terribly enthusiastic about, Rango. It has some very clever, funny lines. Johnny Depp narrates the voice of the main character, a lizard in the wild west. I know, you're thinking "Oh yeah, another lizard movie set in the west, what a bore" but this one is different. Really. Watch it.

That's all I know for now..

Women's Rights in the World

How is it possible that it's almost 2012, and yet around the world women are still being treated as less valuable than men?

A woman in Saudi Arabia was beheaded on Monday because the government said she was a sorceress. I bet she wished she lived somewhere else. In that country, 30% of all women are illiterate. Only 5% hold jobs outside the home. According to a recent PBS article:

"Saudi Arabia is known for having some of the strictest laws in the world limiting women’s rights. Many women follow a strict dress code that requires them to cover their hair and faces, and most are not permitted to drive cars or travel without a male chaperone."

That poor woman was essentially punished by death for being a witch. A WITCH. In 2012. We stopped hanging witches here in America, oh, more than three hundred years ago. Hello?!

In India, according to this story, a million female babies are aborted every year, simply because they are female. That video is truly shocking. Even though the tradition of paying dowries is illegal, most families still do it. So a girl will cost a family a lot of dowry money, but a boy will bring in the money when he marries. So many female babies have been aborted or outright killed, that there is a huge shortage of women in India now.

Around the world, women are treated horribly simply because they are women.

What really amazes me is that female babies are being killed in a country headed by a woman. India's president is a female.

And I worry because America is behind the times by not having a female president. In Germany, Angela Merkel is chancellor. She has a Ph.D. in Physics. Even Pakistan, which is not particularly accepting of women's rights, had a female president in recent years, Benazir Bhutto.

But back to my original thesis.

So how is it possible that women are still facing terrible discrimination all over the world, in 2012? I found an interesting site, Women's Rights Worldwide. They noted:

Men, being physically stronger than women (in general), have exploited this advantage over the centuries to mold societies, religions, and traditions which are, in many cases, advantageous and convenient for men, but oppressive and abusive to women. Let us expose these inequities for what they are and begin the process of restoring fairness to all societies.

The best way to do that is through education.

According to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan: “No tool for development is more effective than the empowerment of women.”

The depressing thing is that my daughter has quit high school and is now living with a man who she says supports her. She doesn't go to school. She doesn't work. She doesn't have a computer. The last time I tried to talk to her about getting her GED, she just blew it off, "I'm still young. I have plenty of time," she said blithely.

If you're the mother of a girl, talk to her. Tell her how fortunate she is to live in America, where a woman can drive a car, or vote, or walk down the street without an escort, without being covered head to toe in a black veil. Tell her to get an education. Tell her to never, ever, depend solely on a man for support.

Work for women's rights. Start with your daughter.

Unconventional Christmas Traditions

I have been thinking a bit about Christmas traditions, and what families do at Christmas. We have some traditions that are, well, a little different.

We eat hot wings and drink a lot of Budweiser to celebrate the birth of Our Lord.

Just kidding.

We don't drink a lot of Budweiser. That was Dad's Saturday beverage. My brother and I like a beer made right here in Atlanta, Sweetwater. Our limit is usually 2 beers each. I only drink 1, at the most.

We don't have a ton of family at our house for Christmas. My brother drives over for a few days. That's about it, except for maybe Lesleigh, who is my third cousin as well as a close friend.

When I was a kid, my grandparents came over usually a day or two before Christmas, and left Christmas day so Mamaw could spend Christmas with her brother Ralph. [I never hear that name now without thinking of A Christmas Story, and "You'll shoot your eye out Kid!"]

Christmas wouldn't be complete without hearing Merry Christmas Baby, by Elvis.

When I was a kid I watched A Charlie Brown Christmas every year.

We like to fix a beef tenderloin for Christmas dinner. Mother covers the top with a mixture of horseradish, butter and soy sauce, and bakes it in the oven. I priced a beef tenderloin the other day at Fresh Market - $88!! We likely won't be having that this year.

We like to decorate our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving, get things going early. Then we enjoy it until New Year's Day. As I get older, it feels like we are having Christmas about 3 times a year. Time is passing lightning fast..

My dad used to always stand back and look at the tree after it was all decorated and say "This is the prettiest tree we've ever had!" Since he's not here, I say that now.

We like to go to a movie Christmas afternoon. Maybe you think that's weird. I love that tradition. A lot of great movies get released around Christmas. Last year it was the remake of True Grit. A phenomenal movie.

We like to drive around an look at Christmas lights, probably more than most folks. It's not expensive, though, and Michael loves it.

What are your Christmas traditions?!

Above, Christmas '08.

Late Lunch

We had a pretty uneventful day yesterday. Sunday, in my mind, should be a day of rest. I didn't get any rest. Oh well. I will rest when I'm dead...

This is how old I am. I remember, as a kid, the blue laws being in effect, and everything being closed on Sunday. Yep, older than dirt.

I let Michael sleep late, until noon. I was sort of wanting to see exactly how late he would sleep, but then at noon I couldn't stand it any more and woke him.

When we got to our favorite Kroger, there were no motorized carts for Mother. The store had an old wheelchair up front and she used that, but none of us were happy about it. The chair was uncomfortable. The clerks said people had been stealing the motorized carts. That's bold. There is a police substation right next door to the shopping center where the Kroger is located!

We were so thrown off routine that I forgot some crucial items. So Mike and I went to Walgreen's and found them.

Then I came home and paid bills.

Then we put Mother in the car and drove around looking at Christmas lights.

Then we picked up lunch. Somehow the day had gotten away from us and we ended up eating lunch at 4:30! We had dinner at 8:30 - grilled cheese sandwiches and pickles. That's how it goes on holidays and weekends sometimes, around here anyway.

I think the photo above is funny. Mike and Colton found that if they used the wrapping paper rolls as megaphones they could make really loud farting noises in someone's ear. They sat in my room making farting noises for half an hour the other day. Gotta love boys.... LOL

Hope you have a pleasant Monday, free of farting noises..

[BTW, if you have issues commenting on my site please let me know. I love comments.]

George Clooney Is Not Hot To Me But His New Movie Rocks

I can divide my life into two phases: TVaholic and TVshunner. As a child, I watched tons of TV. I did not turn out to be a slacker or a homicidal maniac. I think that's because the shows I watched a lot were things like Gilligan's Island and The Beverly Hillbillies.

At this point in life, and for the last 10 years or so, I have been a TVshunner. I almost never watch TV, except occasionally HGTV. (Between homework, dinner, and a thousand other things I have to do when I get home from work, I don't have time to watch any TV show regularly.)

Back in the 90's when I still watched some TV, I never watched ER.

I remember when it started in 1994, it was on opposite Chicago Hope. I watched Chicago Hope the first night and taped ER. I later watched the taped episode and decided I liked Chicago Hope better. To me, Mandy Patinkin was much cuter and more interesting than George Clooney.

I have never thought George Clooney was all that hot. He just doesn't appeal to me. He reminds me of my brother. I think he's smart and funny, and I'd probably enjoy eating lunch with him and chatting for an hour, but I don't want to hop in bed with him. ICK.

So I was surprized yesterday when I saw The Descendants. I liked it despite the clunky story. I know it's probably going to win a bunch of awards, but I don't think George deserves one. He's no Al Pacino. He mostly just looks pissed off in this movie.

The writer/director who made the film, Alexander Payne, writes films that are character studies. I liked Cedar Rapids, a little film nobody saw. I hated Sideways, a film everyone else liked, although it did have a few funny lines.

In The Descendants, the camera keeps lingering on George Clooney's face. He's aging well. I don't think he's had any work done. But he's looking very much like an OLD MAN now, y'all. He's no spring chicken. There's no crime in that, but he doesn't have that hunted look like most of us real-life parents.

He's playing a single father here, something I guess all actors who don't want children have to do once in a while [witness Steve Martin in Father of the Bride] so they don't seem like total narcissists. Clooney is supposed to be an emotionally distant dad, but by the end of the film he's supposed to have remedied that. 

I didn't see his character change. I saw a guy trying to play a father, and it never rang true.As he says in the trailer, he's "the backup parent." He's still in that mode at the end of the film.

Being a parent is like being a veteran of a war. You can't fake the experience.

A small part in the film is played by Beau Bridges. Even with long hair and a big belly, Beau is ten times more attractive to me than George. [It's fun to read this interview with him, BTW, which has a lot of shots from the film.]

Now, on the plus side, I LOVED the fact that The Descendants was filmed in Hawaii. I feel like I've been there now. Hawaii itself is a major character in the film. If you go to the film's official site and watch the trailer you will get a good taste of the film.

There are some other things I really liked in the film. The writing is sharp. People say things you don't expect them to say. Characters change during the film. Both actresses who play his daughters are phenomenal. They are what you want to see in the film. Natural and unaffected, they anchor the film.

And like I said, it's like a mini-vacation to Hawaii, seeing it up there on the big screen. It was as close as I got to a vacation in 2011.

Michael and Colton saw Jack and Jill. I like Adam Sandler but I don't want to see him in drag. That's just too weird. They said it was funny.

So if you have some time over Christmas I recommend you send your kids to see the Sandler movie and you go see The Descendants.

Just don't email me and tell me you think George Clooney is great in the film, or still a hottie. I'll debate to the death on that...