The Crab Chronicles

Red Tails

Years ago, I remember watching a film called The Tuskegee Airmen, and thinking what an amazing film it was, to depict the brutal treatment of black pilots in World War II. Some scenes were very hard to watch. I was glad I saw it, though.

When I saw a trailer recently for the new movie Red Tails I was not too enthusiastic about seeing it.I couldn't imagine it being as good as The Tuskegee Airmen. Then I realized that I was missing an important opportunity to teach Michael some history.

I saw it yesterday with Michael. Excellent film.

I grew up being taken to war movies with my dad. Dad loved movies, and if he was buying the tickets and paying for popcorn, I was there, no matter how much a "guy" movie it was. When we got our first VCR, I was in college, and Dad proceeded to collect movies like Macarthur and Patton. I often wouldn't really understand what was going on, and Dad would stop the tape and explain things to me. I learned a lot of history that way.

I took Military History as an elective my freshman year in college and I made the highest grade in the class. There were no other girls in there.

I grew up hearing stories of my grandfather Thompson, who was a professional soldier for years. Grandaddy fought Pancho Villa in 1916, and fought in the battle of Verdun in World War I. He was a small man, but he was wiry and tough. He became a professional soldier because he needed to help support his mother and younger siblings after his father died when he was 12. I never met him. He died before I was born. He also had a fierce temper,  and a very old-fashioned "spare the rod" kind of father.

I think Dad's fascination with all things military was, in part, a subconscious desire to try and figure out his father and what made him tick.

That fascination with all things military continues to this day, to my brother, who is a retired Army major and served a year in Iraq.

Whether you have any interest in military history or not, here's a question to ponder. What is worth risking your life for? What is worth dying for?

The characters in Red Tails have two objectives: to be excellent pilots and kill the enemy, and to prove to the prejudiced army brass that they can do what any non-black soldier can do. Their courage and resilience were amazing.

As much as I liked the film, I have two small criticisms. The film has a lot of exciting action sequences. There are many aerial dogfights. I don't know how they were done - likely with computers - but they were very realistic. I would've liked a bit more of the backstory and less fighting. I was also a bit perturbed by the fact that there are some interactions between one of the airmen and an Italian woman, and the Italian was not translated. Now, I speak Italian, so I was whispering into Michael's ear a translation of what was being said, but I'm sure everyone else in the theater was clueless. Why the director didn't put subtitles is beyond me. I think Terence Howard is an excellent actor, but his character in the movie was pretty one-dimensional. He was like a cardboard cutout military guy. Of course, one could fault the writing, there. I was puzzled at how wooden Terence appeared in the film, though. I want to stress, though, that these are minor details. It's a terrific movie.

I loved the scenes of Italy. It felt like you were right there, in the town. So beautiful. That's on my bucket list, to get to Italy one day.

It's important to talk to kids about war, and why wars are fought. I have friends who are very liberal, and some who are quite conservative, and opinions on war vary greatly, of course. I do feel strongly, however, that there are things worth fighting for, and we must honor soldiers, seamen, and airmen, whether we agree with the political motivations for the conflict, or not.

One of the main characters in the movie didn't make it at the end, which really disturbed Michael. He kept saying as we walked to the car "Why did he have to die?" I couldn't offer any explanation other than this - in war, people die. Dying with bravery and honor is important, however, and those men did.

A Dissatisfied Customer

A friend sent me this and it made me laugh out loud several times, which is very rare, so I wanted to share it here. [Guys, y'all will probably not find it funny...] I don't know if it's a real letter or not and I don't care.

D

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company, Proctor and Gamble, regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
  
  
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
           I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.   But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
         Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and Ill be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’ Isn't the human body amazing?
         As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo.' Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
         The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... This brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
         Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
         For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong? '
        Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep 'always'. . .
  Best,
  Wendi Aarons
  Austin , TX

Rowing in the Rain

It's January and we are having huge thunderstorms outside right now. Thunderstorms. Has the whole world gone mad?!? [I could hear that in my head in an English accent.. I think that's a line from an old movie.]

I always watched a very funny show on HBO years ago called Dream On, and the main character had flashbacks to movies and TV shows. A little clip would be inserted when he did that. I do that all the time, in my head of course. It's weird. One of my favorite movies is Ben Hur and there's a line in there I think of often. When Judah is rowing in the Roman ship, the guy in charge snarls "We keep you alive to row this ship. Row well, and LIVE."

It just occurred to me that rowing is a theme in my life. My master's thesis was called Boats Against the Current, taken from the last line of the Great Gatsby which goes something like this: "And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." That was the only part of that book I liked, ironically.

I have tried rowing and I stink at it, probably because I am missing a bone in my right shoulder.

I can sing Row Row Row Your Boat perfectly, and in harmony, so there!

I digressed.

Michael and I watched one of my favorite movies of all time last night Bringing Up Baby. It's hysterical. Everyone should see it. Katharine Hepburn has some really odd wardrobe pieces. Cary Grant is, as always, eye candy.

 

 

"Baby" refers to the leopard they run around chasing throughout the movie. They also keep singing the song "I Can't Give You Anything But Love Baby" and now that song is stuck in my head... [I guess that's better than "row well and live" LOL]

Michael's final tryout for the school tennis team was supposed to be yesterday afternoon but the rain canceled it. We think he has made the team. Just awaiting confirmation. He had an off day Thursday. I can't get him to understand that the biggest part of doing well in a sport is not how fast you are, or how strong, it's about how mentally prepared you are. Mike lets things throw him and he gets disgusted if he misses shots. Colton had an off day, too, but he's better able to shake it off.

Thoughts of Food

It seems I spend way too much time thinking about food. This morning I was rudely reminded of that when I opened the door to my room to awaken Michael and realized the package of unfrozen broccoli I tossed in the trash last night has now stunk up the entire house. Oh joy.

Michael put it in the fridge when it was bought, not the freezer.

Note to self: consult with Michael before asking him to put anything into the fridge in the garage...

We have an old fridge in the garage that we use for overflow food. It comes in really handy around the holidays.

Michael and I were both fascinated by this article about what school lunches look like in 20 countries around the world. One Chinese lunch showed an entire small fish in the tray. Michael hates school lunches so much he wrote an essay about them for English class.Yet, he won't let me send a sandwich with him. He says he doesn't want to keep up with it.

I also have not been doing optimally on my revised eating plan [I refuse to say "diet"] because I am getting really hungry late in the afternoon. Yesterday I had a package of peanut butter crackers and a small snickers bar. The good thing is, now the candy bar tastes was too sweet. Sort of nauseating, really. I will repeat that to myself from now on, every time I see chocolate: NAUSEATING.

I have to come up with a solution. I may take some nuts to snack on.

What I have found over the years is that I have to come up with an eating plan that works for me. It might not work for anyone else. So it's a process of experimentation.

I also am trying to dance or walk every day for 30 minutes, in the morning. It's already gotten easier. I find I have a lot more energy during the day when I do the entire 30 minutes and don't skimp.

Breakfast is the easiest meal. I eat scrambled eggs or an omelet. That holds me really well. Lunch is more challenging, but I usually eat some sort of meat like cold chicken, maybe some cheese, and about a cup of baby carrots.

Dinner, I try to fix some meat and a veggie. Mike gets a piece of bread or some rice if he wants it, since he actually could stand to weigh more.

I drink 1 cup of tea in the morning, then water the rest of the day. I probably actually drink the required 8 glasses or so. My skin is looking a lot better. That's easy. I was never big into sodas. I do miss fruit juice, but it's full of sugar. Mother drinks V-8. Ugh.

Anyway, I need to get downstairs and fire up the kettle, and dispose of the stinky garbage. The fun never ends...

Volleying

Had a really blah day yesterday, until late in the afternoon. Michael is trying out for the tennis team at school, and he was doing his thing over at a local tennis club right near the school.

I parked my car and got out to watch him. It was surprisingly cold. We've had such a warm winter so far, but yesterday was FREEZING. I stood and marched in place to keep warm, huddled in an old sweater I found in the car.

The tennis team for Mike's middle school is really the JV team for the high school. So they are working out and running drills with the team this week, so the coaches can evaluate.

Mike said when he got there it took him a while to warm up, and at one point he ran into a wall. By the time I got there, it was a different story. He was hitting beautifully, putting a lot of topspin on the ball.

I told Mother later, watching your child do something they excel at is an amazing feeling. Right before time to quit, Michael had an amazing volley with one of the high school kids - it went on for several minutes without interruption. The coaches were watching.

Then we had to get home and work on a social studies project about the civil war. Not as much fun as watching tennis but oh well...

Restless

Had a flashback to singledom last night, and it was nostalgic and unsettling.I spent 20 years living alone. I don't long for those days any more.

Michael went over to Colton's house yesterday after school, and stayed for dinner. That was fine. He did his homework. Colton helped him with his math. I just missed him terribly when I got home.

Mother stays in her room a lot, because she has her computer and her TV in there, and it's comfortable for her.We meet in the kitchen several times a day and visit.

I spend a fair amount of time at the computer in my room, either writing or checking emails.

Yesterday, after I got home from work, I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't need to start dinner, or help Mike with homework.

I did some walking in front of the computer while watching a movie [my little version of a workout]. I have to watch or listen to something to make myself walk. I broke my own rule, which is that any movie with Ashton Kutcher will be awful. Sure enough, No Strings Attached is dreadfully bad. It's so bad, watching it is sort of entertaining, like watching a reality show about food. The director, Ivan Reitman, usually makes good movies, like Ghostbusters. Natalie Portman usually makes pretty good movies. She was totally miscast, and it's obvious in every one of her scenes. So it's a stinker all around. However, if it holds my attention a bit while I am walking, I will give it that much.

Unlike most every other woman on the planet, I do not think Ashton Kutcher is hot. I think he's revolting. He won't age well, either - check back in 10 years and I'll write about that...

Anyway, the original premise... I am not used to being by myself any more, or having free time. I have some big projects I need to do around the house but they will take more than an hour.

Before I adopted my daughter, there were vast unbroken stretches of time to do what I wanted to do. After a while, that got old. I firmly believe the middle years of one's life are a time to raise kids. People who choose not to have kids are totally puzzling to me. They are missing the best part of life, watching a child grow and learn, and evolve into a sentient human being. It's amazing. No video or movie or book can come close to the experience.

I find myself at a place in my life where I'm not ready to give up being a mother, yet my kids don't take up all my free time any more. It's uncomfortable. I don't like it. I need to stay busy in order to be content.

I have a scarf I started knitting, which will likely get finished when Michael goes to college. I am reading three books. Finding creative recipes that fit with my new eating plan isn't that much of a challenge. Housework has never been a big priority, nor is it satisfying in any way.

Sitting around feeling restless? I'm really good at that.

Guess I might as well start on my taxes here soon, and double the angst...

A Young Man's Fashion Guru

Michael and I just had a ten minute tutorial of how to dress, and what shirt goes with which pants. [I don't know if that's grammatically correct but you get the point.]

"Don't wear the purple shirt and khaki pants!" I warned. "Don't wear the khaki pants and the grey sweater!"

Kids in orphanages are not tutored in fashion, at least Michael wasn't. They are usually just happy to get clean clothes that fit, once a week or so.

I am trying to help Michael build a wardrobe of "church clothes" and trying to teach him how to dress well, in a classic way, nothing too trendy.He doesn't have PE this 9 weeks so he can dress a bit better for school.

We went to Shoe Carnival today, and he soundly rejected the popular shoes all the kids are wearing. I believe the brand is "Sperry." We ended up getting him some black Rockports [on sale] that can be worn with dress-casual outfits. He doesn't own a suit so I am not too worried about that yet.

It just occurred to me the new Rockports won't look so good with his new Khaki pants. Dang.Maybe I can find him some burgundy leather loafers somewhere... He wears a men's size 8!

Teaching a young man how to dress is a job for a father, but since I am a single mom I will have to muddle through.

I told Michael [true story] on my way to work this morning I saw a man walking down the street in midtown wearing cammo pants and a plaid shirt. Hurt just to look at him. He wasn't a bum.

I told Mike that with khaki pants, white, red, or pink shirts look great. My preference is a white button down shirt, rolled up to the elbows. I think nothing looks more sharp and classic than that.

I had a crush when I was 17 on a waiter at the dinner theatre where I was working. He always wore a crisp white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was blonde and he had a tan. Wow. [Is it warm in here?! Oh my...]

Back to my son...

Between the acne and the missing hand, and being short, he feels very unattractive these days. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. I can tell him all day long that girls [nice ones anyway] judge a guy by his manners and his kindness, and they don't go so much by looks- but he won't believe me. [In his eyes I am mom, not an 8th or 9th grade girl...]

Ah, the misery of being 15 years old. I felt like the ugliest girl in the entire school that year. I well remember it. I pray for my sweet boy. "This too shall pass..." sounds so lame.

Mike in '09, before the onslaught of pimples, wearing a typical expression. He has no idea how adorable he is...

The Law

A friend sent me this and I thought it was pretty cute.

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.   5.Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.   6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of bio mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Russian Christmas Dinner

The big event yesterday was my annual Russian Christmas potluck dinner.* This year we weren't able to have it on the actual date [January 7th] but we had it this weekend. Unfortunately, I didn't realize when I was planning it that this was a holiday weekend, so our turnout was lighter than normal, but so be it.

We had some new faces and I think everyone had a good time. My church, St. Bede's, is fairly small, but it worked well for the group, I think.

I made a big pot of borscht and took some sliced strawberries and dip, and a bag of oreos. Two families brought chicken nuggets and they were scarfed up quickly. There were salads, cakes, a great variety.

Below are some photos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't identify everyone, just for privacy reasons, but I want to give a shout out to the two lovely ladies above, Michael's friend Katya and her mother Carol, because they came early and stayed late and were really helpful. I love that Mike has a friend who was also adopted, and of Russian descent.

 

If you are in the Atlanta area and are an adoptive parent, please give me a holler and I will add you to my email list. I try to do events twice a year.

*I founded MAPREC [Metro Atlanta Parents of Russian and Eastern European Children] in 2003, before I had finished Alesia's adoption, and it's been a source of fun and fellowship. It's a very informal group, but everyone seems to have a good time, and it gives the kids a chance to see lots of other kids that are adopted from Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, etc. We also have some biological children and domestically adopted children in some of our families. I love the diversity.

My Soapbox

Seldom does news reporting bother me much, if at all, but in the past few days I've read several stories about the US soldiers and the dead Taliban and I am furious.

For those of you not in the know, there's a video that's gone viral of US Marines peeing on dead Taliban fighters.

This story says "The Taliban, who have made recent moves to talk an end to the war, described the apparent abuse as "an inhumane and savage act by the American soldiers in Afghanistan."

Really?

I don't think the words "inhumane and savage" are appropriate at all. They are ridiculous. We're talking about dead bodies. The Taliban are "inhumane and savage" to living humans.

A quick search of the terms "Taliban atrocities" turned up this article from 2001. Here are some of the things the Taliban have done, to living people:

"The Taliban killed eight boys who laughed at soldiers, burned an entire family alive, and killed 100 Afghans and hung their bodies from lamp posts to warn would-be defectors.The report also includes allegations of atrocities dating back to September 1996, when the Taliban captured Afghanistan's capital city of Kabul, castrated the country's president and killed and tortured his brother, according to the U.S. Department of Defense."

The Taliban hates women. According to this article "Women have been forced to wear head-to-toe burqas, and those stepping outside their homes without one have been beaten with whips. The Taliban have shut down schools for girls and forbidden women from working."

They seem to be determined to make everyone suffer. "The regime has banned makeup, music, dancing and other recreational activities, sometimes using executions and hand or foot amputations as punishment."

An organization called RAWA is trying to help.  "RAWA represents everything that the fundamentalist Taliban regime hates. Founded in Kabul, Afghanistan, in 1977 as a feminist organization, RAWA began exposing excesses committed by warring factions that arose after the collapse of the Soviet-backed regime in 1992 and then by the Taliban, which seized power in Kabul in 1996."

A 2010 Time magazine cover showed a woman whose nose and ears were cut off, thanks to the Taliban.

"Our cover image this week is powerful, shocking and disturbing. It is a portrait of Aisha, a shy 18-year-old Afghan woman who was sentenced by a Taliban commander to have her nose and ears cut off for fleeing her abusive in-laws. Aisha posed for the picture and says she wants the world to see the effect a Taliban resurgence would have on the women of Afghanistan, many of whom have flourished in the past few years."

These are living, breathing human beings who are suffering every day, from the nightmare of Taliban rule.

Those marines who peed on the dead Taliban soldiers are heroes, in my book.