The Crab Chronicles

Hushpuppies and Ghosts

I feel compelled to blog EVERY DAY come hell or high water, but I cannot always [OK, I'll admit it, I can seldom] compose a coherent essay-type blog post.

I am certainly unable to compose such a brilliant post as my friend Cindy LaJoy, who really should write a book about her beautiful family.

So I decided here to just share some random stuff.

I managed to get a lot done today at work, a few things done at home, but by 6:30 tonight I was ravenously hungry and in no mood to cook. So I sinned. I went to Captain D's. The shame. The terrible shame of it all. As soon as the food came out I was stuffing hushpuppies in my big fat mouth.

Yes, I also got green beans. That doesn't exactly negate the 4 hushpuppes and three pieces of fried fish...

More random stuff...

I often think about things before they happen. I think about a friend, and they call or email me. I was thinking about my daughter on the way home from work, and within an hour she texts me.

I will think about a case at work, and my boss will hand me a letter to go out on the case.

I will think, I wonder how Mother is doing?! And she will call me.

Weird.

I could go into details about many weird psychic episodes, but I do want to maintain shome schred of credibility with folks who don't share my wackiness. Folks who don't watch Ghost Adventures. Folks who don't read their horoscopes every day. Folks who think when someone says they've seen an actual ghost they are C-R-A-Z-Y.

I have seen actual ghosts, though. Not recently. I do think sometimes residual energy stays on earth and manifests as what some people call "ghosts." If such things were completely implausible, who do so many folks believe in ghosts? Hmmm?!

I also believe some people can communicate with the dead.

I believe in prophetic dreams, because I've had them.

I believe in reincarnation, or as we sometimes say in the south, "reinTARnation."

Now, I will concede I cannot prove any of these things exist, but I don't care. I BELIEVE. I have taken leaps of faith.

I bet if you're a Christian you believe in the Holy Spirit, right?

The older I get the more I realize there are a lot of forces at work in the world. There's a lot of energy out there. We are spiritual beings living in a physical place, not the other way around.

As one of my favorite singers [Mary Chapin Carpenter] would say Why Walk When You Can Fly?

Wedded for Life

Tomorrow is my parents' 55th wedding anniversary. Wow. My aunt and uncle celebrated 58 years together today. That's some kind of record.

I started life having 4 uncles [3 now deceased] and all of them were married for more than 40 years. Only one divorce in the whole lot, and that was a brief early marriage for one of my Thompson uncles.So I've observed 5 strong marriages [including my parents] firsthand.

How do people do it, stay married such a long time?! As a spinster, I find it totally puzzling. Even if I were a hottie and had gotten married young, I honestly don't think I would've stayed married long. I have a low tolerance for boredom. A man whose favorite pastime is sitting in a barcalounger watching The Game would've bored me to tears.

In 3 of the 5 marriages I know a lot about [including my parents' marriage] the two people involved are opposite in temperament. My aunts Diddy and Myrtle buzzed around, efficient and energetic, while both had laid back, easygoing husbands. In my folks' marriage, Dad was the one buzzing around. Mother was pretty laid back, most of the time.

I think that's likely what makes the best marriages, that yin and yang. OTOH, my aunt and uncle [Don and Jane] who have been married 58 years, are not so opposite. Jane is very efficient and smart, and Don is somewhat laid back [takes him 10 minutes to get out of bed every morning] but they are more alike than they are different.

I think a big part of it is sharing a worldview, the same basic values, and a sense of humor. Mother has said often that she and Dad laughed at the same things, and that made tense situations tolerable, a lot of times. They also had a strong mutual respect.

It's highly unlikely that I will ever get married, but if I do it will be to someone I respect. Love is important, but respect is equally important, I think.

Michael cooperated yesterday in watching the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral, one of my favorite movies. It still makes me laugh.

I don't know what point I want to make here, except perhaps this. If you have a strong marriage, or even one that is a "work in progress" - I congratulate you. You've done what many folks can't, get married and stay married.

If, like many of my friends, you are divorced, don't despair. Life can be very rich and rewarding without a spouse.

The key is to love and take care of another human being, be it a child, or a relative, or even a friend. That's what it's all about, Charlie Brown.

Not Your Typical Southern Belle

It never ceases to amaze me the misperceptions some folks have about southerners.

 

I had to answer astonished questions from two different people as to why I didn't watch the Superbowl. I restrained myself [with difficulty] from snapping back "I do not give a rat's a** about football!" Instead, I just said no, we are not a football family. Both these folks that were surprised that I don't like football are from New York, BTW..

 

So here's a little list of ways that my family is NOT a typical southern family, if you believe sterotypes about southerners:

[BTW, I mean my immediate family, of course - there are distant relatives who differ from us...]

 

We don't go to football games or watch football on TV, or have any interest in it whatsoever, whether at the high school, college, or professional level. [On principal, I would like the Georgia Bulldogs to win every game.]

 

We rarely watch TV at all. [Except for Mother, who watches Fox News all day. Sometimes she even turns up the sound.]

 

We don't question people on whether or not they are "saved." We are Episcopalian. It would be considered tacky. [We might ask you if you save old newspapers or something. We aren't against saving in general...]

We don't cook with Crisco, or animal lard. We use olive oil, and we have the normal cholesterol to prove it. [I will, occasionally, saute vegetables in bacon grease. Still have normal cholesterol..]

 

We drive Japanese made cars, not pickup trucks.

 

Except for the occasional "y'all" or "fixing to" I don't have much of a southern accent, unless I'm really tired, or I've had a beer, or I'm at a family reunion. Then consonants just become a chore.

 

I have detailed records on all my first, second, third, and some of my fourth cousins, but I don't socialize with them all regularly.

 

None of my cousins have ever married one another. [I did date a second cousin once, years ago, but no need to discuss that here..]

 

Yes, I have a lithograph of Robert E. Lee hanging on the wall - but he's in the laundry room.

 

The only time I ever had "moonshine" was once in college, and it was made by a grad student who was from up north and thought it would be fun to make some and watch everyone get reeling drunk. I took two sips, and went home.

 

I've never personally witnessed anything that I would consider an actual racial incident, except once when I was a small child and accidentally wandered into the "colored" bathroom at a rest stop, because I was too young to read. The resulting furor left me totally puzzled. [The outcry was from a tacky woman who fussed at Mom - and Mom told the idiot to mind her own business and hustled me out of there.]

 

I love my mama, and she's the backbone [and heart] of my family, but I don't worship her as a deity.

 

I was taught to address grownups with respect and call them "M'am" and "Sir" but my parents weren't fanatics about manners. We were never beaten for failing to write a thank-you note or use the right fork.

 

Unlike most southern women, I could not care less what brand of shoes I wear, or if my purse is fashionable. Fashion holds no interest for me whatsoever.

 

I don't get all worked up about my ancestors and "the war of northern aggression" [the Civil War] except for the fact I find history fascinating and I wish I knew more about "my people." 

 

I don't visit cemeteries for fun.

 

I wouldn't have a hissy fit if a piece of the family china was broken.

 

I don't tease my hair, use hairspray, or even wear makeup, 95% of the time.

 

I despise collard greens, turnip greens, and all greens actually, except spinach.

I don't listen to country music, but I confess to liking some country artists and I love to hear some good bluegrass.

I love making fried chicken, but only about twice a year.

 

If one of my kids wanted to marry a non-southerner I wouldn't throw a fit. [I might, however, gently counsel them about not moving far away, or naming their child after a country or state - I don't want a grandchild named "Dakota" or "Paris."]

 

So I don't fit the southern stereotype, and I'm OK with that. I do, however, prefer iced sweet-tea [or as we call it, simply "tea"] and I've been known to wax poetic about my great-grandaddy who was in the siege of Vicksburg. I love some southern traditions like cooking vegetables until they're soft, teaching children to behave in public, and not assaulting others' ears with a harsh nasal accent.

I've been up north, but I don't care if I never go back there. Everyone I love is in the south.

So, in summary, despite my rebellious nature, I will never, ever, not for a bazillion dollars, ever live anywhere but the south.

Y'all come back now, here?!

Monday Morning

Thank God it's Monday. I can get some rest.

I remember my dad always worked hard on the weekends, getting stuff done around the house. He would tell Mother, "I need to go back to work so I can REST." I thought that was bizarre.

Now I understand.

By dinnertime last night I was downright ornery.

Actually, to be honest, I was ornery after we came back from Kroger. Mother and Michael were eating lunch and I was trying to put away the groceries. Michael said something and I snapped back at him, and he said "Mom, you need to eat something. You're GRUMPY."

Ah, how quickly they learn to throw things back in one's face.

Speaking of learning, Michael has now adopted my habit of yelling at the TV.

I am so proud.

We were watching a marathon of Ghost Adventures Friday night - yes, I know it's silly - and a commercial came on for gummy vitamins. A thirtyish man was doing the commercial. Things were quiet and suddenly Michael yelled "You're a grown man! Just take the PILL!"

I thought my heart would burst with pride.

Nothing says Christmas like church clothes and a tomahawk...

I know I always say we don't watch TV and we don't, except for news and all, but OK, we have suddenly discovered The Travel Channel, and we love Mysteries at the Museum, and Ghost Adventures.

Don't judge.

Sunday Dinner

It's Sunday, and I never say that word without thinking wistfully of "Sunday Dinner" at my Mamaw's house - fried chicken, rice, gravy, bisquits, green beans [cooked soft, with some side meat for flavoring] and of course, jello salad.

Mother and I have been talking about the fact we didn't get up to the mountains last fall, even for the day. We love to go up to Dillard House and eat lunch, then ride back. We both love a blog called South in Your Mouth, and today Mom was tickled to be featured there in this post, which includes the Dillard House recipe for creamed cabbage. I know what you're thinking. Sounds gross. It's not. It's WONDERFUL. You don't even have to like cabbage.

When I was growing up, Mother made boiled cabbage every year for St. Patrick's Day. I hated it. LOATHED it. Slimy boiled cabbage and corned beef was my idea of a Nightmare Dinner.. I preferred peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Now, however, I have grown up and learned to cook my version of that dinner, and I think it's really tasty.

Mother bought a beef brisket the other day at Kroger and I thought she had lost her mind. I just knew it would be tough and tasteless and gross. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by not cooking it, though. So Wednesday morning, I threw it in the crock pot, covered in a mixture of red wine and soy sauce, with a lot of minced garlic and some pepper and onion powder. 8 hours later, the house smelled heavenly. WOW was that good.Fork tender.

My preferred way to eat cabbage is what I call Eggroll Cabbage. I sauté some coleslaw cabbage [found in bags, shredded, next to the bag salads] in a skillet. If there's time, I saute some onion, first. I then add some soy sauce, onion powder, and black pepper to the cabbage, so it tastes like the inside of an eggroll.

What puzzles me is that there are people who do not like to cook in a crock pot. If you are busy, and need to not spend a lot of time on dinner, why not learn a few crock pot recipes?!! If you don't want to leave it on all day, cook everything at night, then put it in the fridge in the morning and re-heat it at night. Then you don't have to worry about burning the house down.

I saw Lesleigh yesterday, and she hadn't seen me in several weeks. She said it looks like I have lost some weight. YAY! Still not brave enough to jump on the scale, and risk breaking it. I feel better. Clothes are looser. I am moving more easily. A short walk doesn't freak me out. There are days I am tempted and I am "bad" - the other night I ate a bunch of Ritz crackers covered in peanut butter and jelly. Yesterday I had a Chick Filet sandiwch and their marvelous homemade lemonade. However, I am back on track today.

Remember back in the first paragraph, I mentioned "Jello Salad"? I have discovered a Jello product I love even more.

I have recently discovered that I can stay on a sensible eating plan reasonably well if I indulge in a dessert after dinner - a little "diet" dessert I love, Jello Chocolate Mousse Indulgence. Only 60 calories and low carb, but SO delicious. If you have a terrible sweet tooth, this might save you:

Michael asked me today who I wanted to win the Superbowl. I have no feelings either way. I won't be watching. Football bores me to tears. May the best team win.

I will watch the commercials tomorrow on YouTube, and Madonna, and I won't waste hours of my life watching men in tight pants run around throwing each other on the ground...

Coordination

I hate when Michael is sick, because it's so difficult to make plans. Trying to gage how he's going to feel is always tough.Yesterday went entirely differently from how I thought it would.

Thursday night, Mike felt awful, and was blowing his nose every 5 seconds. I had made him go to school because he had a test and he wasn't running fever.

Yesterday morning, I let him sleep a little later than normal, and went in his room to wake him up. I told him he could stay home, but if he did it would be tough to make up all that work on Monday. For some reason his teachers always give him a ton of homework on Monday. He thought about it, and decided to go. I was glad to see that.

However, my deal with him was that if he needed me to pick him up at school, I would do so. Therefore I got to work a little late and then worked thru lunch, anxiously wondering if/when my phone would ring or I'd get a text telling me he wanted to go home.

Fortunately, my policy of letting him sleep a lot - and dosing him heavily with extra Vitamin C and Grapeseed Extract, which is rich in antioxidants - worked.

Finally, about 2:30, I texted Michael and he said he was OK and wanted to go to tennis.

As I was eating my late lunch, the Boss asked me to take a delivery to another office on my way home. I agreed, and thought to myself, how am I going to coordinate getting Mike to tennis if I am stuck in Friday traffic?

I got the delivery made, although I didn't use my new GPS. (I couldn't figure out how to turn it on. I need another tutoring session from Michael.) Then I got stuck on I-285. Fortunately, another parent helped me out with getting Mike to practice. He had to come home, change clothes, and eat a sandwich in the car.

For the next 9 weeks, until early April, Michael has tennis practice every day after school. The matches are on weekdays, too. I'm glad he made the team. It's just going to be very busy, trying to coordinate everything.

Michael and I started watching an interesting movie last night, 50/50. I couldn't figure out why it had an R rating, then about 5 minutes into it, Seth Rogan's character blurted out some really inappropriate things and I was just sitting there in shock. Michael, to his credit, said "What a jerk." See, this is why I don't censor what he watches too much, except for not allowing horror movies. Michael, at 15, is already pretty mature about a lot of things. Rogan's character in the movie made some more inappropriate remarks later, and Michael was disgusted. That's how it should be. Another kid would've reacted differently, perhaps, so I urge parents to not just lay down one blanket "No R movies" or whatever criteria. Judge each movie on its merits, and know your kid. Some movies get an "R" rating for no good reason. 

It's too bad that stuff is in there because otherwise "50/50" is a sweet little movie, and funny [in spots, not a laugh riot.] It also features a young actor, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who is really fascinating to me. He's very talented, and he has the most interesting and expressive face. He acts without even seeming to act, which is the way it's supposed to be done.

Maybe I like him, too, because I can see Mike looking a bit like him in a few years...

Happy Groundhog Day

I didn't realize until late in the day that it's Groundhog Day, which is, I've mentioned before, one of my top 5 favorite movies. I can sit and say all the lines with the characters, which is why my kids don't like watching it any more.

I can remember my Dad doing that while watching Macarthur. It freaked out my friend Scott when he was visiting and Dad did it.

I guess the message I love about Groundhog Day is that you can change. You can fix your life and make it better. Of course, the main character in the movie is forced into that, but he changes nonetheless.

I also love Andie MacDowell in this movie. Of course, she's from Gaffney, South Carolina, and that adds points, to me. The scene below where she explains her perfect guy is one of my favorites:

 

Of course, I don't need General Lee to tell me we're having an early spring. There are daffodils pushing up in my backyard! I am running the air conditioner!

And, Michael is sick. He had to stop taking the antibiotic for his face because it was causing severe itching. Then he got around a sick kid. Plus he went to germ central school. He felt rotten this morning but I made him go to school because he had a test in science. After school he insisted on going to the tennis team's first practice. He had a headache but he didn't want to miss it.

He came home and crashed. He ate a good helping of fresh guacamole, plus shrimp and rice, for dinner. I made the guacamole from fresh avocados, and just added lime juice, salt, and a little onion powder. They are very nutritious.Mike loves them.

I don't like them. I ate spinach.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but Michael was in bed at 9:30, which is a great thing.

Happy Groundhog Day, y'all. I will be glad to see this week END...

The Dana Carvey Video Experiment

OK, this is an experiment to see if I can successfully embed a video. If it didn't work I can figure it out. No need to send emails... ;-) This is Dana Carvey, one my all-time fave comedians..

 

OK, now I'm going for broke. Here's another one. My dad was more like the ex-marine... LOL

 

Rain Day Aggravation

OK, so yesterday was frenetic, but today has been just plain aggravating. Why? Let me count the ways.

1. Had to holler at Michael to get up this morning, after I vowed "no more hollering." He didn't get his usual 9 hours of sleep last night and I feared the ROLLOVER AND GO BACK TO SLEEP syndrome.

2. I had twenty minutes this morning to: make coffee and tea, clean up the dogs mess on the family room floor, cook breakfast for Michael and me, start a roast in the crock pot

3. On the way to work, the CHECK ENGINE light comes on in my car

4. At lunch, I broke two plates in the kitchen, not realizing there was a hole in the cabinet where the plates were stores. The kitchen at work is NOT friendly to short people!

5. I drive to the Chevron to leave my car and it's RAINING. Thanks a lot. More rain. Just what we need.

6. I came home and had a long talk with Michael about forgetting to bring home permission slips for field trips. And chewing gum in class. 

7. I was trying to help Michael with Social Studies and the online textbook was DESIGNED BY EVIL GREMLINS!! I spent 15 minutes trying to get the stinking book OPEN and by the end of it there was a fair amount of cursing going on. Michael got tickled at me. I finally just said "SCREW IT! Let's Google the answers!"

8. I need to go holler at Michael to get out of the bathroom and get ready to go to a meeting of the tennis team parents at the high school. He made the JV team! YAY! But I have to get a ride over there since I have no car.

PRAYER NEED

Please say a prayer there's nothing horribly expensive wrong with the Toyota, since we are down to one car these days. Grr.....