The Crab Chronicles

Tennis and the Fox and a Special Child

Sat outside yesterday morning in the heat and watched Mike's tennis match and all I can say is, if I had $1 for every sweat droplet, we could afford a vacation! Yikes.

Michael played well, but lost his doubles match. His team still may go on to the city finals, which is pretty exciting. Everything depends on how the last matches go next week.

I took a photo, but Mike looks like an ant holding a tennis raquet.

Mother and I [and Mike, when he looked up from his iPod] watched a show on Georgia Public Broadcasting last night about the Fox Theatre, which is a special place for our entire family. It was a terrific film about the Fox and its history. Mother knew some of the folks in the film.

The Fox is right around the corner from another Atlanta landmark, The Varsity, and Jeff Foxworthy said he remembered when the Metropolitan Opera would be in town every year doing shows at the Fox, and he saw some of the opera stars slipping quietly out the back door of the Fox and walk down to the Varsity after their performance. You cannot get Varsity fries or a chili cheese dog like that anywhere else. [And the onion rings - be still my heart. Oh, now I'm drooling...]

I started going to movies at the Fox when I was a tiny girl, and the last movie I saw with my Papaw before he died was Heidi. I love taking Michael to plays there now, when we can get tickets. 

If you are not from Atlanta but are planning a trip here, I urge you to see a concert or play at the Fox. It's an amazing experience.

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From time to time I hear about a child that needs a home and I advocate for that child. I heard about little Zac on An Orphan's Wish website and thought, this little guy needs a hand. If I had the money, I would go adopt him myself. He has challenges but he is determined to overcome them, even at 3 years old showing remarkable determination. His adoption fees are practically paid for through his agency, WACAP, and with the adoption tax credit. Please check out his page. I also wanted to post this from Natalie at An Orphan's Wish:

"I announced earlier today that our sweet Zac (3 year old boy with repaired bilateral clubfoot and arthrogryposis) is available for adoption on the Shared List.
Wacap is offering a $4200 grant for a qualifying family adopting Zac through Wacap. The file is still on the Shared List and Zac can be adopted through any agency. However the grant is only available for a family using Wacap."
Nathalie
AOW Adoption Advocacy Director

Yes, Zac is "special needs" and he is three. The wait to get a healthy infant from China is now something like 3-5 years. The good news is, special needs kids can be adopted much more quickly. Singles can again adopt from China now. Please consider Zac or one of the other kids if your heart is inclined towards adoption.

My son was considered unadoptable in Kazakhstan because of his missing right hand, but he is my joy and my treasure. I wish every childless couple or single mom could have a boy as sweet and lovable as my Michael.

Mike in Kazakhstan, 10 years old.

Laughter in the Heat

Lots of random stuff floats around in my brain. Why it stays there I don't know but occasionally I think it's appropriate to share the stuff that makes an impact, even if it only makes me laugh. Lord knows we need more laughter in the world, if we are going to survive and thrive.

Saw the funniest thing on Facebook yesterday and I wanted to share it. "Satan just called. He wants his weather back."

The high today is supposed to be 106. Tomorrow it's supposed to be 107. That's according to the Weather channcel website. Karen Minton, a local weather lady says it will only be 101 today, 102 tomorrow. That's the first time we've gotten over 100 in 5 years.

I plan to stay inside as much as possible.

Saw this on a car the other day and laughed out loud: "Beware of Dragons - you are crunchy and you taste good with ketchup."

I needed to laugh yesterday. I was utterly disgusted by the Supreme Court decision on Obamacare. If it's not repealed it will be a disaster. Now, having said that, I WANT healthcare reform. Lord knows we need a better system. I just don't think Obamacare is the right way to fix the problem.

My gardens are producing tons of tomatoes, which is a blessing, but now I have to get busy. I will make Gazpacho out of some of them, and freeze some. When I freeze them, I get a little pan of boiling water, put the tomato on a big spoon, and dip it in the water for 8 seconds. Then I set it aside. After it has cooled, the skin just slides right off beautifully. No tough peeling. Then I just put a bunch of them in bags and stick them in the freezer.

In January we can have homemade marinara sauce. YUM.

Michael has a tennis match this morning. His USTA team is #1 in the city right now. Please pray the team does well today, so they can go on to the playoffs. They could win for the whole city!

I leave you with a photo made some years ago of me and the Coco-nator, both of us with short hair.

John Mayer and the Devil

OK, so today was better than yesterday. Not perfect but WAAAAY better.Of course, it had nowhere to go but UP.

For reasons unknown to me, I CANNOT get this John Mayer son out of my head, and not just because it has a white-hot ukelele playing throughout:

 

Now, I must confess, I never watch videos. I open a new tab and play the music while I work on my Farmville Farm or check out blogs or something. Not that John Mayer isn't a cutie. HOWEVER, it's hard to believe I am digging music made by a person who is younger than some of my shoes.

He must've had a hard time coming up with lyrics, too, because he repeats "say what you to say" about 5,000 times. Point made, John.

If you want something a little more groovy, try this one. Not a big commercial hit, but very cool tune:

 

My son is so funny. We were talking late this afternoon and somehow the subject of beards came up. Michael informed me he wants to grow a goatee. [This is a premature discussion, as his beard hasn't come in yet.]

"No no no... no goatees, Dude."

"Why not?"

Me: "Too pointy. Not good. They look devilish."

Michael: "OK, I'll grow a full beard then and look like Jesus!"

I laughed so hard I almost missed the sound of my grandmothers flipping around in their graves...

Recap of a Disaster

Yesterday was a terrible awful no-good very bad day. On many different levels.

It started off with me lacking a lot of sleep because I had a lot of low back pain night before last.

My hair looked wacky. I didn't have time to shower.

I was late to work. I-85 was literally a parking lot. I skirted that mess and then sat on Peachtree for a while. My 20 minute commute took nearly an hour.

I got to work and realized I had left my wallet in my swim bag. I was driving around illegally. Plus, no money for lunch.

I sent my daughter a text message and got back a really rude reply. I don't think she wrote it. However, it proved to me that her Evil Boyfriend has hold of her phone. So I have no way to communicate with her now, with any hope she will get the communication. That just about wiped me out.

My boss called me late in the day, from court, and asked me what I was doing. I couldn't think what to say. I was literally struck dumb for a moment, and finally managed to give a semi-coherent answer. I sounded idiotic. It was pointless to go into all the reasons I was having a terrible day. He was in a hurry. I just hate sounding stupid.

I asked Michael to water my garden this morning before he went to the pool. He didn't do it. He watered at 4:30.Wilted stuff.

He also informed us he had had no lunch. Just didn't feel like eating. Grrr..... He got a lecture about going 17 hours on a glass of milk and a honey bun.

My zucchini plants are pooping out. Some didn't produce any zucchini. I watered, fertilized, etc. Bummer.

My friend Cindy has 3 of her 5 kids in camps near the Colorado wildfires. So scary. Praying for them, and for those fires to be over.

This weekend it's supposed to be 105! And it's a Wet Heat. I won't be leaving the house, except in the morning, I can assure you. It's supposed to be over 90 every day for the next 10 days. This is when I wish I lived in Maine.

Anyway, here's hoping today will be better.

Aretha Makes Pancakes?!

I love clever marketing. Funny commercials delight me - the first couple of times. Funny slogans. Brilliant product design - all fascinating. I also truly admire folks who start their own businesses.

So yesterday afternoon I am in Publix shopping for a few things we forgot from the store the other day, and I happened to see this funny pancake box:

Of course, my first thought was that Aretha Franklin had become the victim of early senility and started a pancake company tied in with a horror movie franchise. The Queen of Soul?! Surely not. Then again, here in Atlanta we have a restaurant owned by Gladys Knight that sells chicken and waffles.

[BTW, anyone notice the error on the box? Anyone? Should be "Frankenstein's" - possessive, since it's her mix. My Inner English Major is appalled...]

I picked up the box - which is really heavy, for pancake mix, BTW - and read the back, which was even more funny than the front:

And I thought to myself, this would make a good blog. So I took photos.

Then I started thinking about pancakes. Dinner. Sausage. Maple syrup. DROOOOOOL.... And I bought the box of mix, which I thought was ridiculously expensive.And more syrup.

Yes, marketing won.

The pancakes, BTW, are marvelous. I urge you to try them.

So Michael, having not eaten much all day yesterday, comes home from the pool starving. He proceeded to snack on a Tasty Cake. Then I insisted he have some protein, so he had some Boar's Head sliced Cajun Turkey. Then he asked when dinner would be ready.

He ate about 6 [smallish] pancakes and a sausage. He went upstairs to shower.

He came back downstairs and said he was still hungry. I thought he was kidding. He assured me he was not. He said he was too tired to get food for himself. I was trying to control my excitement at the thought he MIGHT be growing [please God]. I made him a sandwich using a fresh tomato from our garden on two pieces of whole wheat bread, with Duke's mayo. He inhaled it. So he got all the food groups.

Now I have to wonder, what can I fill him up with tonight?!

Thanks Bob Marley

Monday morning is not my favorite time. This morning, my alarm goes off and guess what song is playing on the radio? "Don't worry 'Bout a Thing," by Bob Marley. I took that as a sign.

I hit the snooze alarm.

Thanks Bob!

Now I am awake. Sort of. The 5 day forecast says that on Friday the high temp will be 99!

Hibernation mode went into effect yesterday. In the South, in the middle of the afternoon, you get in an air-conditioned building, or in a pool. You don't run errands, or go for a walk outside. That's how heat stroke happens.

I got a lot done in the house yesterday. Well, my room is cleaner. Sometimes just moving around the clutter helps. I still have a huge pile of papers to go through, but I am getting there.

I swam laps again late yesterday afternoon. It was easier than Saturday. Back still has twinges, but getting in warm water and moving around, even if it's just walking, really helps. The more I move, the better it feels. I think perhaps God is telling me to get off my butt and move more.

Sometimes I think my life is really boring and simple.

The things that delight me tend to be small things rather than big ones. A clean room. My lily plant blooming. Finding vegetables in my gardens. A phonecall from a friend. Making a good dinner.

I found a lovely zucchini in my garden yesterday and wondered what to do with it. How does one use 1 zucchini?! I made pancakes. I grated it up with a box grater, then threw in flour, baking powder, an egg, minced shallot, garlic salt, black pepper, and Lawrey's Seasoning Salt. Mix up. Drop spoonfulls into hot canola oil. Yum.

Michael ate 5. Plus drank some more gazpacho.And a bisquit with honey.

Good thing there was plenty of food besides the ribs I cooked in the oven. They were idiotically tough. I slow cooked them all day, which usually guarantees tenderness, but not so last night. They were seasoned well, at least. Michael, operating with only one hand, simply couldn't get much meat off of them.

Well, time to go water the garden and get some breakfast.

I leave you with an image of a pygmy goat. I would love to raise these.

Gazpacho

Michael is intrigued with all kitchen appliances, and it's funny to watch his reaction when I pull out something he hasn't seen before.

I decided yesterday to make Jamie Deen's Gapacho recipe, and I knew it would be easier with a big food processor. So I got out Mother's old one, the one that's about 30 years old, and put it on the counter. I had the tomatoes, onion, cucumber, garlic, etc. to chop and puree and the next thing I know Michael is over there fiddling with the food processor.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Granny's old food processor," I answered.

He buzzed the pulse button and grinned with delight.

My gazpacho turned out pretty well. I used homegrown tomatoes. I had Mother taste it, and she suggested I add a little bit of fresh lime juice, to "brighten it." I did. I also threw in a dash of dill weed. Both helped.

Reputedly.

The irony is my stomach can't handle raw tomatoes but I want to be a good gazpacho maker because it's so healthy and Mike likes it. Mother loves it. Both ate hearty helpings at dinner.

I also made a peach cobbler. Yum.

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I did something yesterday I have not done in months. I went to the pool. It was over 90 yesterday, so the best place to be was in the pool. I did a lot of walking in the pool, and some swimming. It helped the muscles in my lower back which have been bothering me lately. I am going to try and go every day after work. One nice thing about our pool is that they have two lanes in there for lap swimming, so you don't continually have to dodge kids.You can see the lanes in the shot below.

Lots to do today. Happy Sunday!

Fun With Haiku

I love to write poetry, and still write it occasionally, and as I have grown older than dirt [cough cough, don't mean to disrespect dirt y'all] I find there are certain subjects that are best expressed poetically.

Which is good, because I stink at writing short stories.

I dated a guy some years ago who told me he liked to write very short stories, often just a few sentences. I read some of these "stories" and giggled. I told him he was actually writing poetry. He never spoke to me again.He inspired me to write a haiku:

He wrote tiny tales.

Tiny glimpses of his life.

Poems? NO! He cried.

When I was an undergraduate, I was thrilled to hear that a poem of mine had been chosen for the literary magazine, until I realized it was not one of my longer works, but just a funny little half-haiku I had dashed off.Here's the whole thing:

Brain-fried / stir thoughts / take a wok.  [brilliant, huh?!]

So I am writing some more haiku now:

***

Coco barks often.

Her tiny body wriggles,

Fluent canine dance.

***

Explosive sneezes

Fly out of us often now.

Cruel spring torture.

***

Bad Dust Bunnies breed.

That’s why I hate hardwood floors!

Carpet hides them well.

***

I did not feel like

Watering last night, so tired.

God sent rain instead.

***

Friday sandwich night.

Mother’s favorite roast beef.

Jersey Mike’s loves us.

***

And in tribute to one of Michael's favorite shows on TV:

Ghost Adventure guys.

Full-bodied apparitions!

Zak screams in delight.

***

Sometimes I see ghosts.

Spirits are all around us.

Don't go in the light!

Me and Ghandi, hanging out in London, 1988.

If you'd like to read more of my poetry you can see my friend AnnMarie's site, Vox Poetica.

Little Lights

So yesterday was a horrible day, only because I got no sleep the night before and I was a zombie-like creature. The bags under my eyes were more like steamer trunks.

Lower back pain is a bear. I walked last night for about 25 minutes, so no back pain last night, thanks be to God. I just have to walk more.

Then I get in the car to come home yesterday afternoon, looking forward to a nap, and the Check Engine light is on. I wish it were more specific, like "Check Engine in the next week or so" or "Check engine immediately! This thing is gonna blow!" or "Dude, like lift the hood soon, K?"

But no, just a warning light like a little Aladdin's lamp of anxiety. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

So I'm off to the Chevron this morning. Fun.

Funny anecdote: Michael and I were taking Coco to the vet to get her nails clipped the other day and we were at a light and there was a guy on a bicycle about 5 feet in front of the car. A common sight around Tucker. I said to Mike "That guy has shaved legs! Yikes." Mike looked at him. "That's messed up." We were speaking conversationally, not with any particular inflection. At that moment Coco, who was in my lap, looked and growled, low in her throat, like she wanted to bite the guy. So funny..

Anyway, I will post more when I have more time.

Old photo, but one of the few good ones of me and Mother. Or is it "Mother and I"???? She will correct me when I go down to fix breakfast in a minute...

Parent - Job Description

 This is hysterical. So true.

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you. May also be asked to assume grandparent duties after 20-30 years...

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

 

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! * *

The future Major Thompson...