When I was a kid and we moved to Tennessee, my dad became a HUGE country music fan. Up until then he had mostly preferred the music of Frank Sinatra, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, Sam Cooke, and Johnny Cash.[Yep, Johnny was as country as he got, before we hit Knoxville.]
Suddenly, it's the 1970's and we're living in the foothills of the Smoky Mountains, and the only radio station he ever listens to is WIVK.If I wanted to talk to him in the car, I had to wait until a song came on that he didn't like, or an advertisement.
Now, if you only saw my dad downtown, you might never guess the Inner Redneck was his alter ego.
My dad was a banker and wore impeccable suits to work. He spent all day advising customers about their trust accounts and estate planning needs.People called him "Mr. Thompson" and "Sir." He was like a general in charge of his troops, the folks in the Valley Bank Trust Department.
Then he went home and put on old clothes and drank PBR and wore ballcaps with cartoons of tractors on them. Once banker's hours were over, he had to just let out his Inner Redneck.[I can't show you a photo because Mama wouldn't let me photograph him in full redneck regalia...]
He was half Henderson on his mama's side - a refined, ladylike southern matriarch who didn't allow drinking or swearing in her home. That's where he got his banking persona. BUT... he was half Thompson, and that half was South Georgia dirt farmer.
I am only one quarter Redneck but I totally understand that need to let out one's Inner Redneck.. [Heck Jeff Foxworthy has made a career reminding us of our redneck roots! Go Jeff - click that link if you want to laugh at a routine called Redneck Fashion Tips.]
My Inner Redneck likes Allman Brothers and Lynrd Skynard, and I have been known to drink a cold beer now and then. Yes, and I will eat Vienna sausages and fatback, and drink hot Pepsi colas now and again. SO WHAT?!
So when I saw this email it brought back a lot of memories.This list made me laugh, and I wished I had a cold PBR to guzzle while I watched this here video.
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I've Woke Up With a Few
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She Gets Better Lookin' with Every Beer
And the Number One Country & Western
song is...It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long...
