I seem to live in a perpetual state of confusion these days. Maybe some of you can explain some things to me.I am getting old.
How exactly does one get high on bath salts? When I was a kid, I like Mr. Bubble, and as a teen I liked to let Calgon Take Me Away. Never thought I'd see the day when some poor idiot would get high on bath salts and go running into church swinging a hammer. I've been to Kingsport, Tennessee. It ain't Las Vegas but there are some things to do at night that don't involve ingesting toiletries and scaring folks in church.
Why is is that food is just so dang la di dah now? I had a grilled cheese sandwich, some potato chips, a coke and two cookies for lunch. Cost me $9! Now, the grilled cheese was "artisan white cheddar on rosemary herb bread" and the chips were made in somebody's backyard in small batches and sold to the folks who ran this fancy bakery in my office building, and they served "real" coca cola in a real glass but c'mon, $9?!?! I could give everybody in my family the same meal for far less than $9. And the cookies were tasteless globs.
How is a small muffin worth $3?! I don't care how much icing you put on it or what snooty name you give it. That's ridiculous.
How do bugs get in my washing machine?! I was taking a load of clothes out of the washing machine and there, in the bottom of the machine, was a stink bug. He was dead - BUT he didn't stink any more. How did he make it through a wash cycle with all his legs and antennas intact?! I buried him in a used Bounce dryer sheet. He obviously loathed life as a stink bug and chose to end it smelling sweet...
Why is there an assumption [by some people] that anyone over 70 is a doddering old fool?! I recently had some "friends" tell me [loudly and obnoxiously, much to my disgust] that my mother needs to be told what to do and I needed to be tough with her. I won't reveal everything that was said. Suffice to say this: my mother is sharp as a tack. So are all her friends. Hell to the NO, I won't try and tell her what to do. I am southern, and I revere my mama. You wanna say ugly things about my mama? You are no friend of mine then. 'Nuff said.
Why is it every time I like a song on the radio, Michael says "That's an OLD one, Mom!" Of course, to him anything that's been out more than a few weeks is "old." LOL I often think, Boy, I have shoes older than you are... Anyhoo, I really like this song by Ed Sheeran, even if it is dusty and old:
Ed's a talented guy. I look forward to hearing more from him.
