The Crab Chronicles

Refuse to Feel Guilty

I feel somewhat guilty about a lot of things I've said and/or done in my life, but you know? Guilt is a completely ridiculous emotion. What does it accomplish? Does it fix anything? Nope. So NOBODY should feel guilty.about.anything.

GUILT is a Huge Waste of Time. Just say NO to guilt.

I thought I'd just list a few things I won't feel guilty about.

I refuse to feel guilty about giving Mother and Michael canned green beans last night. I am usually meticulous about trying to fix fresh vegetables, but sometimes a can of Del Monte Blue Lake green beans just hits the spot. I had fixed smothered cube steak last night, and it just fit. Mother sat down, looked at her plate and said "Oh good, I was wanting some green beans."

I refuse to feel guilty about my house not being spotless. It has never been spotless. It's got lots of spots. [hahaha] It's never health-hazard dirty, more like just dusty and messy. My brother is coming this weekend. I am not going to run around frantically cleaning up for him. He will bring his own mess and re-junk up the house in the 5 minutes it takes to unload his truck.

I will not feel guilty about feeding my dog nothing but this:

Coco erps if you look at her funny, and turkey is the one thing we've found that stays down pretty well. If she's having an "erp day" I will give her some plain vanilla yogurt to settle her tummy. Oh, and she gets tiny Milk Bones.

I refuse to feel guilty about not brushing my dogs' teeth. We've never brushed a dog's teeth, unless they've eaten something dead and their breath was nasty, which happened occasionally when Mom and Dad lived at the lake. All our dogs have lived long and healthy lives. With dirty teeth.

I refuse to feel guilty about wearing elastic-waisted pants. Michael and I were watching an old but terrific movie last night, Starman, and I watched Karen Allen putting on a pair of 1984 jeans and I shuddered. The waist doesn't give. Horrors. How did I ever wear jeans for so long??

I refuse to feel bad about not living up to the expectations I had of myself when I was younger. So I'm not married, I'm not thin, I don't have perfect hair, I don't have a clean house?! I know of only maybe three people who can make those claims. They are VERY BORING.

I refuse to watch vice presidential debates. Nobody votes for the vice president. People vote for the PRESIDENT. I rely on the news media to later tell me what happened and who won.

First Day and Scallops

Since I became a paralegal in 1985 I have had more than half a dozen "first days" at work, but never one as interesting and pleasant as yesterday. I am so thankful to be working for nice folks, doing work I enjoy.

Until one has experienced the opposite, one cannot understand that.

I have worked for two big corporations. At both, I spent the first day with no computer, reading employee manuals. Not fun. At other jobs, there have been piles of paperwork to fill out, and long stretches of boredom. Not so yesterday.

I was able to sit in on a deposition. (For you the non-legals folks, a deposition is a series of questions asked by a lawyer, under oath, with the answers recorded by a court reporter.) It was fascinating. I have reads hundreds of depositions, summarized them, too, but I have actually only sat in the room when a deposition was being taken one other time in my career.

The rest of the day was fun, too, but since I don't really discuss work here, I will leave it at that.

I came home and Michael informed me that he had to go back to school and get his Biology book. That took some time. Then I had to work on a writing assignment and catch up on emails. Then I had to make dinner.The time fairly flew by.

Michael and I went to the farmer's market the other day and found some beautiful sea scallops, and I got some lovely oyster mushrooms. I made my version of a dish mother requested, Coquilles St. Jacques. It was, um, OK. Had a good flavor. I chopped an onion and sauteed it in some butter, then threw in the chopped up mushrooms, salt, pepper, Vermouth. I cleaned the scallops and drained them. I made a rich white sauce with Plugra butter and cream, and threw in some Havarti cheese. Finally, I put everything in one pot, then threw in some asparagus, so it was a one dish meal. I didn't put little ramekins of scallops in the oven with breadcrumbs. I didn't even think about it, actually.

It was still tasty.

I almost didn't make it at all, after reading Emeril's recipe. Wow, what a pain in the butt.

What I usually do is go online and read several different versions, and make my own. This almost always works out well.

So yesterday was a good day, for a change. Yay!

Oyster mushrooms

Changing Bandages

Tomorrow I start the new job, and I have a feeling I'm going to be busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs between 6 and 9 a.m. tomorrow. So I'm giving y'all a little update right now.

I've had some nice things happen in the past few weeks, and some really NOT nice things, but hey, that's life in the big city, right?!

When I took Mother to the Wound Clinic last Friday, they said her bandages on her legs needed to be changed every three days until her next appointment on the 15th. So today was the day to change them. I waited until Michael was home, because I had a feeling I would need his help. I did.The whole process was incredibly difficult, but only because I was so worried I would screw things up.

I know I sound like a whiner, but I don't care. I had to sit on a little stool at my mother's feet, which hasn't happened in a long time. My back is still a bit achy, so this was not comfy to me. Add in extreme anxiety, and you can understand why Mom kept looking at me in great alarm. "You're doing fine! Quit being so worried!" she admonished me.

I had a list of things to do. Remove old bandages - all 4 layers. Wash and dry the legs. Apply vaseline to the legs. Add in the new bandages - all 4 layers. All the time I was worried about not having enough supplies, even though a box of supplies arrived today.

The worst part of it all was simply that I didn't want to cause Mom any pain. I did, though inadvertently. Her left leg has a big sore place on it. I tried to be so, so careful.

After more than an hour, it was done. I burst into tears. Mother told Michael to grab me a couple of kleenex and hand them to me. He did it. "Women," he said in disgust, shaking his head.

I stumbled upstairs and put on a bathrobe. I was sweating like I'd just run a marathon, and I was starving.

See, when I'm stressed out I just want to EAT. Not cook, EAT. Fortunately, some kind friends had brought us a lovely homemade chicken pot pie last night.

To All Nurses Out There: You have my utmost admiration and respect.

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One positive thing is that I have a second job already, writing blog posts for a young lawyer. I wrote the first one today, and it was done in about an hour. He has a really spiffy website and I know a lot about the kind of law he practices, which makes it easier. Since I am ghostwriting I won't reveal more, but suffice to say it felt good to make money from my writing abilities. I don't get to feel that way often enough.

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A negative thing is that I had to Unfriend a person on Facebook who is actually a friend in real life, but I was tired of him posting things negating everything I posted and calling me, in essence, an idiot.

I have a lot of flaws, and you may not agree with my politics, but an idiot? Really? Even if it was only implied, it ticked me off. And this guy knows me well enough to know all the trials and tribulations I've had recently. Thanks for shoveling fuel on the fire of my turmoil, Buddy.

We do not have to be "Friends" if that's the way you want to play.

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Just realized, for the umpteenth time, that today would have been John Lennon's 72nd birthday. Such a shame his life was ended so soon. Anyway, this is my fave Lennon song, maybe because I have a beautiful boy, so now I totally understand this...

 

Job and Birthday

Well, I have happy news. I got a job! Yay! Got an email last night. I am SO relieved. And it's a job doing mainly Medical Malpractice cases, which is one of my top 5 favorite areas of law. It's a fascinating area.

I have looked at maybe 10,000 pages of medical records over the years, or more, and thus I have some facility with reading those suckers and figuring them out.

Another nice aspect to this job is that it will be 30 hours a week, at least for the moment, so I have some flexibility on the hours and can be here for Mother until she's back to full functioning. I'm a little concerned about leaving her all day but she says she will be OK. I will only be 20 minutes away, in Buckhead.

Today is my brother's birthday and he is 53! Wow, he is old. [evil chuckle, bwahahahaha...]

When we were kids he was always my defender and my champion, despite the fact that we fought like, well, siblings, all the time. Now he always has my back and for that I am immensely grateful. He doesn't call too often, or do exactly what we expect, but no matter. He is there when we need him, which is all that counts.

Michael and I had fun yesterday at the international farmer's market, buying little fun items for Bruce for his birthday. I resisted the urge to go buy him a shirt. He's coming this weekend and we can celebrate his birthday then.

Bruce at my house, cooking, which is what he enjoys, second only to hanging out with Michael...

Strategies for Success in Life

You know how your parents pass down lots of wisdom to you, and you ignore it until one day when you are grown you realize, DANG! THEY WERE RIGHT! and it freaks you out? Eventually, you realize your parents are NOT actually morons, but they might know a thing or two.

I was thinking yesterday about some of the valuable life strategies we have developed in my family over the years. So I wanted to share these, partly for your amusement and partly because, well, it's Monday. Not a whole lot is happening...

Obviously these is a mixture of the serious and the funny here. Read and learn...

Do Your Best Strategy

Always do your best at everything; give each task 100%. That way you have no regrets later. Regrets = therapy bills..

Sleep Strategy

In our family we always ask everyone, every morning, did you sleep OK last night? This is not simply to be polite. If someone did NOT sleep well, they will probably be grumpy. Thus you will know to avoid them for the rest of the day.

Waking Up Strategy for Teens

My Dad always said “Sleep as late as you can!” – on the weekends and holidays. Then he would be outside our windows at 7 or 8 with the lawnmower or some other noisemaker. He would act surprised when we stumbled out of our rooms, grumbling..

Furniture Strategy

Save your money and buy top quality furniture, early in life before you have kids. Don’t buy trendy. Buy classic. Then just get it re-upholstered every 5-10 years or so. [We still use all the furniture my mother bought from 1957-62]

Laundry Strategy

Do not tell your teenager they need to do laundry. Simply remind them that they are welcome to borrow your clothes to wear to school if they don’t have anything clean. [Of course, this presupposes they do their own laundry. Never do laundry for any healthy child over 12 or so; it spoils them.]

Handling A Toddler Tantrum

When I was a small child and I flew into a tantrum, Mother would just grab me and sit with me on the back porch swing, holding me in a death grip. I knew I had to calm down or she wouldn’t let me go. Since it was usually boiling hot, being held like that was pretty uncomfortable. I had to get calm and remain that way for a few minutes before she would loosen her grip.

Gardening Strategy

Plant a LOT of tomatoes every spring, along with whatever else you want to grow. Fertilize them, water them, care for them. Do your best with the other plants but don’t have high expectations. That way, if nothing else grows well, you can still tote tomatoes to all your friends and neighbors and they will think you are an awesome gardener…

Hospital Strategy

When someone in your immediate family is in the hospital, have someone stay with them at all times, preferably you. That way you will avoid nightmares that might cause you to want to sue the hospital. [There is no joke here, I am dead serious. A relative of mine died because no nurse arrived in time to help him. Hospitals are understaffed.]

Cooking Strategies

Certain easy tricks will give people the impression you are an awesome cook. Add onion powder, or garlic powder, or Italian seasoning or Lawreys Seasoned Salt to any dish, and it’s instantly better. If company is coming, put lots of cheese on the vegetables and don't use lowfat anything. If making chocolate cake or brownies, add a teaspoon full of almond flavoring and/or a couple of drops of coffee, to give it a distinctive flavor. [Actually, I could write an entire blog just on this subject alone...]

Religious Fundamentalist Strategy

If a Jehovah’s Witness or any sort of religious fundamentalist approaches you on the street or comes to your door asking to talk to you about Jesus or asking if you are saved, simply smile and say “We are staunch Episcopalians!”- this always makes them bewildered and you have time to shut the door or get away.

Wrongdoing Strategy

When anyone does wrong to you, forgive them. It’s the Christian thing to do. It also is good for your own mental health, because carrying grudges hurts YOU, in the long run.

Small Dog Strategy

Always wear shoes in the home of people who have a small dog. Do I need to explain this?!

Coco guarding a sleeping Alesia a few years ago...

 

Canceled Pity Party Of One

It occurred to me this morning that yesterday's post probably gave my regular readers the impression that I am sitting over here feeling sorry for myself and crying in my beer.I wanted to make several points, though, just for the record. [Thanks to those folks who sent me concerned emails. You rock.]

First of all, I am not drinking beer. Not in the morning anyway. I drink a beer maybe.... once a month? If that. [and I only drink Sweetwater beer, a local brew that does not taste foul.]

Secondly, I had a good night's sleep last night and that always helps one's perspective on life.

Thirdly, Mother is not sitting around feeling sorry for herself and weeping and wailing. She is in remarkably good spirits and is determined to soldier on, and get through this, and get well.

I am working on a funny post for later today.

Coco continues to delight us, like this morning when I was changing the sheets on Mother's bed, and she posed, beautifully, against the pale blue sheets:

She is our cuddlybear and our comic relief. I highly advise everyone to have a dog at home, for good mental health.

Nursing My Folks

The most helpless feeling in the world, the most gut-wrenching sadness ever, is watching someone you love in pain or struggling with an illness or disability and being unable to relieve their misery.

Sometimes it seems as if I have spent my whole life watching people I love in pain.

I watched my grandfather struggle with painful circulation problems in his legs, and pain in his hip. I went to see him in the hospital as a little girl and that memory is burned in my mind. He had played baseball for twenty years and it cost him a lot of physical pain. The last few years of his life, he spent a lot of time walking with crutches.

I was kept out of kindergarten for three months because my mother had a hysterectomy and couldn't drive all that fall, and I remember long days with her in the bed and me unable to help, except maybe to bring her aspirin. I remember the wicked scar on her abdomen and how scary it was to my 5 year old self.

My grandmother [Hasty, the only one I ever knew] taught me to read, and spent countless hours with me. We were a lot alike, in looks and temperament, and I adored her. She had a stroke when I was 14 and I took my turn sitting in the hospital with her and doing my homework every night so the rest of the family could have a break. She spent the last 15 years of her life bedridden, in a nursing home, not knowing any of us.  Seeing her not know me, unable to walk, unable to do anything -it broke my heart.

I watched my father deal with a heart attack, an aortic aneurysm, and finally cancer, all in a space of 12 years.I lost him when I was 34.

I watched my mother nearly die from a stomach virus and dehydration in 1998 and again in 2011, with ventricular tachycardia.

I am a horrible nurse, but I will always make the effort to nurse those people I love. Nurses should be strong and capable, patient and kind. They truly do God's work. I just stumble along in the role.

I feel a terrible sense of failure and dejection for not helping my mother more with the edema that has plagued her for several years. I should've tried harder to figure out what was wrong. Apart from rubbing cream on her legs every night, and carting her to the doctor, I haven't done much.

Yesterday I took her to the Emory Wound Clinic. We are fortunate to live in a city with excellent medical care available for seniors. The doctor told Mother the Lymphedema is advanced, and she would have to wear bandages on her legs for a couple of weeks, then Unna Boots, and keep her legs elevated as much as possible for a while, or risk losing her lower legs to amputation. In a couple of days I will have to re-bandage her legs, and again a few days after that. The thought scares the daylights out of me. She has 4 layers on her legs, and even though I watched the nurse very carefully, and was given all the supplies and instructions, I doubt I can do nearly as well.

I am also impatient and short with Mother when I should be sweet. I was impatient with Michael this afternoon when we were going to the store. I guess God knew what he was doing, not giving me charge over infants or small children, because I am incredibly impatient. Worry and fear cause me to be very grouchy.

So it's been a day of sadness and worry for me. Mother is dealing with leg pain and trying to do what the doctor ordered. She has put her leg up as much as possible. I kept trying to fix ways for her to keep her legs propped up, but nothing has really worked well. I even ran in Goodwill to see if there was a hassock I could buy without paying too much. She cannot really handle a recliner, we don't think.

I am trying to help her stick to a low salt, lower carb less junkfood diet. She did real well today.

I guess if there's anything good about this, it's that I am not really thinking about my lack of employment.

I just want my mother to feel OK, and to stay with us for as long as possible. Please keep her in your prayers...

Me, Bruce and Mother in about 1999..

Interview with Jennifer Skiff about The Divinity of Dogs

A few years ago, I was driving to work and I heard a radio interview with a lady who had written a book called God Stories: Inspiring Encounters With the Divine. I loved the concept of real folks sharing their stories of how God intervened in their lives at critical moments.

When I got home later that day, I found the website for God Stories and sent editor Jennifer Skiff the story of how God influenced me to adopt my daughter. We started emailing, and I got to know Jennifer Skiff personally.She spends part of the year in Maine and part of the year in Australia, and she is a busy lady.

Sometime later, Jennifer was kind enough to read an advance copy of my book Adopting Alesia and give me a quote for the back cover.

When I heard she was accepting stories for a new book about how dogs work miracles in the lives of their owners, I got very excited. I decided to write up the story of how Coco helped Alesia transition into our family. The story was accepted for Jennifer's beautiful new book, The Divinity of Dogs: True Stories of Miracles Inspired by Man's Best Friend.

You can order advance copies of The Divinity of Dogs from Amazon. I am also going to be giving away an autographed copy here, soon.

Jennifer generously agreed to let me interview her about The Divinity of Dogs, and her answers are below.

1. How old were you when you got your first dog, and what was his/her name?  My first dog got me!  The first child in my parent’s home was a Boxer named Clara who I called Bookie.  We adored each other.

 2. How many dogs do you currently own? Names and breeds?  Within days of finishing The Divinity of Dogs, both of my best friends, CousCous and ChickPea passed away.  It’s been a tough year.  I am the Trustee of the largest dog refuge in West Australia and quickly adopted a sick Mastiff named Frodo.  At the same time, I adopted a one-eyed, 10 year-old Maltese mix named Honey.  Frodo passed away this year and I still have Honey.  When I return to Australia for the winter, my husband and I are adding to our family!

 3. The new book, The Divinity of Dogs, explores how dogs have not only enhanced their owners' lives, but in some cases actually saved their lives. Can you share one or two of those stories?

 “I had no reason to live”*

   by Scott Thornsley

It was Christmas morning, 1995.  My wife had left me in August, and two weeks later I lost my job of 19 years.  I was alone without anyone to turn to.  Worst of all, no one needed me anymore; my workplace or the wife I loved.

I’d just gotten my Ph.D. and was looking forward to enjoying the success that would come with it.  Instead, the hunt for a new job was futile.  Because of my new degree, I couldn’t get the most menial of jobs.  Most people said I was overeducated.   I felt like a total failure.

I thought long and hard and came to the conclusion that my life was not worth living.  I decided to commit suicide.

The moment came.  I’d decided on a method and was committed to carrying it out.  At that very moment, my four year-old Rottweiler, Emma, bounded into the study.   Her leash was in her mouth, which was not unusual.  What was unusual was what she did next.  She literally grabbed my hand with her mouth and ferociously pulled me toward the front door, tugging and yanking me out of my chair.   She had never done this before.

There was a hard falling snow, which would make even the shortest of walks difficult.   Her tugging continued.  I decided to grant her one more walk. 

Once we were outside, she wouldn’t let me go home.  She continued, just ahead, leading me through neighborhoods and school athletic fields.  Emma wandered without direction, refusing to let me turn around.  A couple of hours passed, and during that time my mind cleared and I realized my life was not over.  I had much to be thankful for and someone really did need me - even if it was a female Rottweiler named Emma.  There is no doubt in my mind that Emma saved my life that day.

In the darkest of moments, a dog can make your life worth living.

*Permission to re-print from Jennifer Skiff, Author, The Divinity of Dogs. 

 

4. Can you travel with your dogs to the two different countries where you live, or are there quarantine restrictions? I live in Maine and in Australia.  Australia doesn’t have rabies.  Because of that, the country has strict regulations.  Quarantine is a nightmare and is a nine-month process.  I’ve done it once.  I’ll never do it again.

 5. Share some of the reactions you've gotten to the book so far.  The reviews are just starting to come in and they’re fabulous.  The best review came unwittingly from a magazine publisher who, after reading the book, has asked me to write a monthly column of inspirational pet stories.

 6. Any negative feedback from cat owners?!  Ha.  (The book isn’t out yet, we’re just getting the early reviews).

 7. Since the publication of God Stories, do you get approached a lot by folks, still, with stories of faith like the ones in the book? Do you expect a similar reaction to the new book? Yes I do.  Many people write to tell me how God Stories affected them and they often share their own stories.  I also collect stories from my website: JenniferSkiff.com, for future books.  So people can submit God and Dog stories there.

 This book is resonating with people because many keep their feelings of love about their dogs to themselves. They’re afraid other people will judge them.  This book shows them they’re not alone.  And when you meet people who understand you, you want to talk to them!

 

Bio:  Jennifer Skiff is an award-winning television producer, journalist and author. Her #1 Inspirational and #1 Spiritual bestseller, God Stories: Inspiring Encounters with the Divine is published in seven languages.

For more than a decade Jennifer traveled the world working as an investigative environmental correspondent for CNN. Her programs promoting animal welfare have aired on The Discovery Channel and networks globally. Among other honors, she's received the prized Environmental Media Award.

Passionate about animals and their welfare, Jennifer works with charities throughout the world to bring relief to abused and abandoned animals. Jennifer is Trustee of the Dogs' Refuge Home in Australia and is a Director of the SPCAHC and Pilots N Paws in the United States.

 

Alesia and Coco, shortly after we moved into this house in 2005.

I Will Not Interfere

The hardest part for me, as a mom, is not being a helicopter parent. I want to hover over each of my children and run their lives. I want them to do exactly as I say and make the choices I want them to make.

Obviously, if I do that, they will resent it.

My dad was like that. He was a CONTROL FREAK with me and my brother. Yet, he loved us dearly. He wanted only lovely, comfortable lives for us. We had to make our own mistakes, though.

I remember calls from Dad after I was grown, where he told me exactly what to do and where to live and who to hang out with, even what to wear. It used to make me SO MAD.

Michael is dealing with an awkward situation at school and he has made me promise not to email the teacher. I promised. I am staying out of it. He may be only a 9th grader but he is 16 years old. He needs to handle things on his own. I will not intervene unless he asks me to.

I heard from my daughter last night. She is OK. She talked to a friend last night, one she hasn't spoken to in a while. I sense there may be some changes coming about in her life soon, but there again, I will NOT interfere. She is 21 years old. She has to make her own choices. I will not interfere.

I.WILL.NOT.INTERFERE.

You have no idea how hard it is for me to type that, much less remind myself and actually implement that. I think it would be easier if I had raised my kids from birth, instead of adopting them as older kids. I would have a better sense of how they would choose. They wouldn't have early trauma to overcome. But the situation is what it is.

Unlike Daddy, I will not try to direct my kids lives. I will be there for them if they need me, as much as possible. I will give advice and counsel IF they ask for it. I will laugh with them, cheer them on, and probably cry with them on occasion, but I will not interfere. This is a gift I can give them.

Life is, in a way, a learning process, for all of us. We have to learn in order to grow, even if learning is painful. We have to learn our limitations. We won't learn if we are simply moved about like pawns on a chessboard.

I love both my kids more than my life. I would do anything for them to be happy. I pray for them both every day. But they are not my possessions or my soldiers. They are who they are, and they are still evolving. 

Despite all the hell they have been through, my kids are resilient, sweet, loving, and good. I am privileged to be their mama.

So I will not interfere in their lives.

Here endeth the lesson.

Debates and Stereotypes

I made Michael watch the first hour of the presidential debate last night, and I am so glad I did. He watched with great interest and didn't even look at his iPod. Yay!

Occasionally I would comment, but I tried very hard to keep quiet and let him form his own opinions. At 10, I turned off the TV and made him go to bed. He has to get up at 6 for school, although I let him sleep until 6:30 and just drove him to school.

Mike told his grandmother he liked Romney better - "He explained things so I could understand him."

I was happy to see CNN's recap of the debates this morning.

The great thing about debates is they show kids our country at its best. No matter which candidate you like, or whether or not you like the moderator, in America we have civilized debates. Nobody gets shot. Nobody riots. That sort of violence and intolerance happens a lot in other countries, but not here.

I was pleased to see that the men shook hands and were cordial. There was no name calling. They obviously disagree, but they were civil.

I was distressed on Facebook to see a comment by an aquaintance of mine who supports Obama, who repeated the tired accusation that all Republicans and Romney supporters are overt racists. Obviously she has seen some really racist remarks about the president. Does that make EVERY person who doesn't like Obama a racist?!? I don't think so.

Does everyone who supports Romney automatically support Mormonism?? No, of course not. The man's religion is irrelevant. Obama's race is irrelevant.

Maybe I took more offense because, being southern, I have had to deal with stereotypes of southerners all my life. According to people who have never been to the south, we are all racist rednecks, bible-thumping fundamentalists, or Scarlett O'Hara bloodthirsty beeyotches - and that's just the females. All the men here are good old boys, right?? Or I guess now the stereotype will be Honey Boo Boo - ACK! The redneck stereotypes are being reinforced right on national TV. Lovely.

So let me ask you this, does Jersey Shore accurately represent ALL the folks in New Jersey? Does Californication represent all Californians?

See how silly your stereotypes are, y'all??

I am neither a Republican nor a Democrat. I've voted for both parties candidates. I try to judge the person based on who they are and their stated positions on issues, not what party they belong to.

Obviously I like Romney. However, I do not agree with all his positions. I am in favor of gay marriage, for instance. However, I recall Romney saying that question should be decided by the states.

I will never agree with ALL the positions held by any candidate. That's just life.

We can agree to disagree, but let's keep it civil.