The Crab Chronicles

Mother Through the Years

Happy Birthday Mom! I am very blessed to be able to share my life with my Mom.

In 1933 my mother was born, in Marietta Georgia. She had two older brothers, Bobby and Don. My grandparents were in their 30's. The Great Depression was in full swing.Right after she was born, her brothers came down with whooping cough and had to be quarantined for several weeks. My grandparents had their hands full.

My grandparents, Bob Hasty and Wilma Butler Hasty:

My uncles, Bobby and Don:

And Elva made the smallest stairstep:

Mom started taking tap dancing lessons when she was small, then singing lessons. She eventually would sing at weddings, in USO shows, and would consider a career in music. Below, Mom in one of her recital dresses. She still had that dress when I was small, and I would play "dress up" in it.

While she was a senior in college, she met this guy, Tony Thompson:

And before she had known him a full year, they were married. This was made right around that time and is one of my all-time favorite shots of my parents:

Then came her first little house, and in 1959, my brother:

By 1963, Mom was looking after me and my brother, a full-time job:

And through the years she kept in contact with her brothers:

My grandparents are gone, as is my uncle Bobby, but Mom carries on. She blogs. She farms her Farmville place. She helps Michael with homework. She watches the news and is better informed than anyone I know. She talks to her friends. She is there for my friends. She is an amazing person. I love you a great big bunch Mom!

New Year's Warmup

I am glad to see the end of 2012. It was a turbulent year, for a lot of different reasons. I try not to do those "end of the year reflection" things because, well, why hash over everything again?!

Most people just let New Year's pass the regular way, but for us, it's my mother's birthday, so we try to celebrate and do what she wants that day. It's unfortunate that it's so close to Christmas. So Christmas shopping for me means thinking of not just one set of presents, but two. [But hey, I have relatives who were born on Christmas Day, which is really too bad in terms of presents...]

Got some housecleaning chores done yesterday, and made the last batch of Mexican Wedding Cookies.

My friend Gary came over and we had a good visit. He had been visiting with his parents for Christmas, and was annoyed with his mom. While he was telling me that, Mother was sitting there listening. I could see by her face how she felt. Finally, she intervened, and spoke up for Gary's mom, who is one of the sweetest humans on earth. A few well-chosen words left Gary speechless for a moment. Finally, he said "Wow, I never thought of it that way."

My mother on the bench would make Judge Judy look like a wimp, y'all. She is feisty.

She also maintains it's not really fair to ever criticize someone's marriage, because no outsider will ever really understand what goes on between two married people. That's a life lesson I've learned well. Gary is still learning it.

Gary and I bought Mom's big birthday present. He was there for advice and to carry it to the car for me. It's something I know she will enjoy, after she gets over being annoyed with me for getting it. (Can't say more because she reads this blog.)

Mother got the bandages off her legs on Friday, so I am helping her get the compression things on her lower legs, which was not fun yesterday. Hopefully as I get better at it, it can be done more easily and quickly.

I did the stupidest thing last night. I was slicing up some beef to warn up for dinner and I just carved my own finger. Lots of blood everywhere - but not in the food. Michael had to help me finish dinner and bake the cookies.

That's about all I know.

Y'all get your blackeyed peas and greens, so you will have money and luck in 2013!

My parents in 1996, about 6 months before dad died. They were on a cruise.

Clothes and Values

I know I've ranted about this before, but I continue to ponder the decline of our values when I read news stories like the one I saw first thing this morning.

Every morning when I turn on the computer, I check out the Yahoo news items. This morning I opened up this story about a Chinese factory worker who wrote a letter and put it in a Halloween product that was manufactured over there, and it made me very sad.

I have had to explain to my son that the reason we can go to Walmart or Old Navy and buy shirts very cheaply is because of American companies manufacturing their products overseas, where labor is cheap.

After the civil war, here in the south, textile mill workers were treated very poorly by managers. Labor unions improved conditions and pay for workers. However, with the passage of NAFTA, companies were able to build plants overseas and reap huge profits. This article about the textile industry in North Carolina explains it very well.

When I was in Kazakhstan adopting Michael, I told my agency rep that I wanted to go to a store and buy Michael an outfit to wear to court, some new clothes. In the orphanage the kids all share clothes and Michael had no clothes of his own. In Kazakhstan you have to look nice for court and since Michael was 10 he had to appear in court and answer questions, and confirm he wanted to be adopted. We went to several stores before even finding one that sold children's clothes, and when we did, I ended up paying something like $75 for a shirt, pants, and new shoes. The clothes had been made in Czechoslovakia.

I had been spoiled by shopping at Walmart and finding really inexpensive clothes.

What actually puzzles me is why [non wealthy] people go to the mall and pay full retail for clothes. I am truly confused by that behavior. We found a Joseph A. Banks blue blazer for Michael at Goodwill for less than $5. It looks brand new. He only wears it to church so it doesn't have to be particularly sturdy, but Banks' clothing is very well made. Even on sale their blazers start at $135. We've found tons of designer clothes at Goodwill, though.

Why not make high quality goods, and recycle clothes?!

When I was going to the Episcopal Day School in Augusta, in kindergarten and first grade, a lot of the kids were from very well to do or even wealthy families. Yet, parents swapped clothes, and I wore a lot of hand-me-downs. I didn't care. What's wrong with hand-me-downs??

A 14 year old boy who went to Michael's middle school last year and was well known to Michael and Colton was found dead at his home before Christmas, and news stories indicate that he was likely robbed and killed over tennis shoes. He bought and sold pricey shoes. I am horrified to even type that, killed over tennis shoes.

What on earth?!?

What is wrong with keeping your clothes and wearing them until they are worn out?

Why does everyone have to wear the latest fashions?

Fashion used to be about pretty, elegant, well-made clothes. Now, most fashionable clothes look like they were designed by heavily medicated people. Check out the Fall 2013 line from Women's Wear Daily, available 8 months in advance. Even if I was a size 2, I wouldn't wear any outfit in that entire lineup. Ugh.

The older I get, the more I realize that comfort and practicality are so much more important than anything else. And I think any heel more than 2 inches high ought to be banned by law. I see women tottering around in 3 inch spiked heels and I just shudder. One misstep on a slick floor and they are in for a busted knee or lifetime back pain, or worse. Why on earth take the risk? I've read too many slip-and-fall lawsuits to ever wear heels like that again.

I wish I could offer pithy conclusions here but I can't, not really. I just wish parents would say to their kids, "let's NOT put ourselves into deep debt buying you expensive brands."

Let's bring back manufacturing jobs to the USA, and stop the slave labor conditions overseas.

I appreciate my friend Cindy's posting a link to 8 Things You Must Give Up to Find Peace - I like what he says about the notion that Happiness isn't about STUFF.

"We’re bombarded with images of stuff, with the implication that this stuff somehow elevates personal value and success.  So I encourage you to think about how much of your self-worth is connected to owning, giving, and getting STUFF.  Because truthfully, success, happiness, and peace of mind have little to do with STUFF."

We truly don't need to much stuff. One of my personal projects for 2013 will be to make a lot of trips to Goodwill, giving away stuff we don't need. I'd like to reduce possessions to the few things we really need and use.

Talk amongst yourselves...

This is a prom dress I got Alesia on eBay for $25.

Winter in Russia

Everyone in Atlanta is getting out their heavy winter coats and boots, and hunkering down like we're fixing to get a blizzard. Why? Because the high today was less than 50.It was 42.

I walked into work, watching people hurrying into the building, heads down, high heeled boots clacking [woman], men with coats on, hands in pockets.

When I got in, I was asked by another staffer at my office "Isn't it COLD today?" and I chuckled. "Nope. Once you've been to Russia, in January, you consider anything above zero tolerable."

I stepped off the plane in Khabarovsk in January 2003, almost 9 years ago, and my entire face went numb within seconds. I thought oh dear, my nose is going to run and I won't even feel it! I will have frozen snot on my face! Then I looked at the men in the choir, whose beards were covered with ice crystals. All of us who wore glasses had to take them off because they were fogging up. After a few more minutes my legs started to go numb. We were on a tram, going up to the airport gate.

Here in the US, we don't usually have to get on a tram and go way out on a freezing tarmac to climb s steep flight of stairs and get to a plane. We are spoiled.

We got to the hotel, and some of us had luggage covered with filthy ice.

The water in the hotel rooms was brown sludge.

Oh yes, we Americans are spoiled. We have roads not filled with potholes. We have restaurants and stores open 24 hours a day.

Now, to be fair, there is a vast difference between Moscow and the smaller cities. Other adoptive parents have observed this, not just me. Moscow is like New York City, it's own little kingdom.

I have been thinking a lot lately about Russia, not only because of the cold, but because Putin is getting ready to sign a law banning adoptions by US citizens. I am beyond horrified.

The conditions in Russian orphanages are beyond the imagination of most Americans. My daughter, who spent 6 1/2 years in an orphanage, was beaten up, hit by caretakers, starved, molested, and considered un-educable simply because she has a mild learning disability. By the time she was 13, she had smoked, drunk alcohol many times, and witnessed girls in the orphanage pimped out by the staff. She had never eaten in a restaurant, been to a movie theater, or been hugged and told she was loved. The conditions are truly "lord of the flies" awful. It took a lot of therapy before I learned most of the horrors. She still has many scars on her body that got there mysteriously because she has blocked out the traumatic memories of how she got those scars. 

According to this article in the New York TImes, Russia's Plan to bar American adoptions upends families:

"The bill that includes the adoption ban was drafted in response to the Magnitsky Act, a law signed by President Obama this month that will bar Russian citizens accused of violating human rights from traveling to the United States and from owning real estate or other assets there. The Obama administration had opposed the Magnitsky legislation, fearing diplomatic retaliation, but members of Congress were eager to press Russia over human rights abuses and tied the bill to another measure granting Russia new status as a full trading partner."

Politics are being played, and children are the ones who will suffer. Families who have spent thousands of dollars, and met and bonded with their children, may be in limbo indefinitely. It's horrible. It's tragic.

About 120,000 children in Russian orphanages are eligible to be adopted. Estimates vary but there are likely more than a million children in orphanages in Russia, it's just not all are cleared for adoption. There is still a stigma attached to being an orphan, and Russians rarely adopt any child older than an infant. Most kids who age out of orphanages turn to crime, and many commit suicide. My friend CIndy LaJoy wrote about this much more eloquently on her blog.

I keep being asked to sign petitions that will be sent to Putin. Huge waste of time.

I am praying that somehow this mess will get straightened out soon.

This was my daughter in January of 2003, when the choir was in Russia.

Here, she holds a project she did for school about Russia, a couple of years ago. Although I do not approve of her life choices right now, there's no question in my mind that she is better off now, having been loved and cared for by me, than if she had stayed in Russia. Here she has a future.

Christmas Day Aftermath

Ah, the day after Christmas. I am amazed and awed by photos of folks' houses that are spotlessly clean the day after Christmas.Some of these people are blood relatives of mine! I didn't get that gene, the Cleaning Gene.

I had to get up and go to work today, and so the house is a bit messy. I don't care.

We had prime rib last night for dinner, brussels sprouts in an apple cider vinegar reduction, Italian cheese bread, and zebra pudding for dessert. Brother did a superb job on the food.

The pudding is just whipped cream and chocolate wafers. My mamaw used to make it, Mother made it a lot for company when I was a kid, and now I can say I make it. If I were better organized I'd post a photo. I went right by the recipe on the box, which was stupid. Mother said whenever you put vanilla in something you need to put a little sugar. We had it again tonight for dessert and sprinkled a little extra sugar on top and it was fine. Next time I will try a few drops of Kahlua in the cream. Yum.

The wafers and the pudding. Easy dessert, and so simple. And yet, I screwed it up. Guess when I attempt family recipes I should have the coach Mother in there to tell me what to do.

Michael and I were chatting last night about how much he loves the Christmas present he picked out for himself. Look at the photos below and see if you can guess what it is.

It's one of those red laser pointer thingies that really are just to tease the dog. Coco didn't play along though, she ignores it most of the time. I think her eyesight is poor and she really doesn't see it most of the time.

We liked these photos, though, because they look very "alien abduction." The gift that cost less than $5 is his favorite one. Always happens.

 

We watched Dark Shadows tonight. I LOVED it. Michael was disappointed. He said he didn't think it was funny. Maybe it's a generational thing. Anyone 45 or older will enjoy it. I remember watching the TV show when I was little.

I also loved all the 1972 music. I could sing all the words to all the music used in the film, except one of the Alice Cooper songs. I loved the funny line Barnabus says about Alice - "That's the ugliest woman I've ever seen!"

Campy fun.

SO glad I wasn't one of the hordes of people around Lenox Mall this afternoon. Yikes.

Y'all stay warm. It looks like snow here!

Christmas Day 2012

Well, the dust has cleared, the presents are opened, and we've already had a nice Christmas. Bruce said he would take over the meal prep for today, giving me a break, which is a super present, although he also gave me a book I've been wanting to read for a long time.

Yesterday was just non-stop cooking, cleaning, present delivering, and I was totally exhausted by the end of the day. So today, I am resting.

The reason for the season is giving, of course. I always contribute to the Salvation Army because I believe in their mission. I also contributed to a charity for homeless veterans. But more than that, or anything I got, I am most happy that I helped several folks that I know to have a little bit nicer Christmas, including some children that are dear to my heart.

I miss Lesleigh - my best friend. I miss my daughter. They are always in my heart, however.

So here are a few shots I made - nothing posed. Obviously.

The tree this morning before any presents were given out or opened.

Bruce and Mike, passing out the gifts.

Opening gifts. Bruce really isn't THAT white. Mother is much thinner than she appears in photos. (She still has the bandages on her legs but we are hoping she can get them removed on Friday, BTW.)

The view I had while opening gifts. Yes, my house is a wreck. No, I don't care. You can see in the lower left corner a device that peels veggies and fruits. I am SO tickled to get that. If I peel stuff, particularly potatoes or tomatoes, it makes my hands itch horribly.

Bruce gave Michael a grill he can use over the firepit, to grill hotdogs. This was made by pointing the camer out my window. When Mike is sitting there with his buddies, I can hear everything. Not that I want to particularly, but I can...

Anyway, I hope everyone reading this has had a nice holiday, and that it continues to be nice, or if it's not, I hope it gets nice, or whatever.... LOL

Letting Go of Perfect

I have discovered something interesting about myself. I have finally let go entirely of this notion of having the perfect Christmas, and now I am willing to settle for something where we are simply all together and no fire extinguisher is needed.

I used to want everything to be perfect. Spotlessly clean house. Delicious, perfect food. Gifts that dazzle and amaze everyone. Folks gathered around the piano singing carols.

Of course, I'd like a bunch of relatives to come over, too, but that never happens. It's just us. Minus my daughter, who chooses to spend Christmas elsewhere.

Now, I am willing to settle for a quiet holiday, where I don't necessarily have to do any cooking and/or cleaning all day. Where I can do something radical like.... sit and read a BOOK. That's my idea of fun.

I have spent the entire day, pretty much, cooking and cleaning. Well, Michael and I did watch the end of The Green Mile late this morning, and we ventured out briefly, but otherwise it's been a cooking and cleaning frenzy. And to show for it, my house is marginally cleaner, and I have a double batch of Pumpkin Spice Bread batter in the outside fridge, but no actual loaves made. And I've got steaks marinating, a salad 9/10ths made, and I am going to start cooking cornbread when my brother finally gets here.

Michael and I went to Walgreens to pick up a prescription and there was nobody out and about. NOBODY. Oh, except for around Northlake Mall. There, the parking lot was choked with cars. I am so glad my shopping is DONE.

I don't have to work tomorrow, but I am going in for a few hours anyway. I get paid by the hour. No work = no pay, and I can't afford that. So hopefully I will be home by about noon. Then I will bake pumpkin bread and get it delivered, and probably make a pecan pie, and perhaps run to the grocery store. I lost my list yesterday and we don't have certain essential items, like sausage for the breakfast casserole we eat Christmas morning, or anything for dinner tomorrow night.

My friend Sarah posted this video on Facebook and it's so funny. It's Mr Bean.

 

Spotting Varmints and Weird Hair

I realized this morning that I had a little bit more Christmas shopping to do, and while Michael was asleep, I slipped out of the house and went to Wally-world, a place I'd rather avoid at all costs, but hey, they had the item I needed, so off I went.

Two interesting things about my little attempt to slip out quietly.

One, I had forgotten to turn off the security alarm, so as I was leaving, the alarm blared out, nearly zapping me of what little hearing I have left, and certainly adding some more gray to my hair. Then I couldn't jab in the code quick enough. If Michael slept thru that, I fear for his hearing.

So I jumped in the car and headed out. I am driving along Henderson Road and I see a small animal in the road up ahead, so I slowed the car, thinking it was a squirrel. The little animal darted to the side of the road. I slowed down to look at it, thinking, nope, that's the ugliest cat I have ever seen, how sad.

But it wasn't a cat.Or a squirrel.

It was a FOX, y'all.

Wow.

That was some kind of cool, right there.

I tried to ignore the fact he was munching on roadkill.

I get to Wally-world and - praise to God - I found the items I was needing and headed home.

Later, I got my bangs cut. I look idiotic. I was chatting with the stylist and she chopped off too much hair. So I look ridiculous.I will be wearing a lot of hats for the next couple of weeks.

We leave the scissor-happy stylist, and I have to fill up the car, so we stop at Quik Trip.

I send Mike inside to get me some water, and I swipe my card and grab the hose thingy to put gas in my car. No gas. A young man in a Quik Trip uniform comes up to me, smirking, and says "Uh, M'am, you won't get any gas from this one" - and he holds up the end of the hose which has come loose form the supply thingy in the ceiling.

I move the car. A few minutes later Michael comes out. "Why did you move?" he asks.

"Go look at the pump where we were a minute ago," I tell him, tersely. He looks and walks back, grinning.

"OK, so that's what all the clerks inside were laughing about!"

So not funny. Santa is watching you laughing at yo mama, boy.

HE SEES YOU EVEN WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING!

Chew on that.

He said he's planning to wear a mohawk from now on. Fine.

Obsessions

I've had a rant coming on for a long time. Today's the day to let it out. Why on earth do people get so worked up about SHOES?! Good lord. They are just for covering our feet, people. They are not art objects. They don't make you beautiful, or handsome, or smarter, or nicer.

ABC news did a recent story about a lady who owns more than 1,200 pairs of shoes. She's passing on her materialistic obsession to her children. Nice move, lady.

Saw a post on Facebook with a link to this article about deputies called in to the Augusta Mall because, "Police estimated that 500 people were crowding the mall entrances at 7 a.m. in hopes of buying a pair of the sneakers, which sell for about $180 and are a re-release of a 1996 design said to be one of the most famous in the Air Jordan line."

Here's what absolutely enrages me, what makes me want to hit something: Michael went to middle school with a boy who was killed last week over a pair of shoes. The child loved to buy and trade shoes, and his bargaining led to a violent encounter.

What is the world coming to?!

Kids in Michael's school are obsessed with "brands." That's why Abercrombie & Fitch, which used to just be a snobby, ridiculously overpriced brand of clothes, is now what kids want to wear.

I can't write any more on this topic because I feel my blood pressure rising up, and a fat chick with high blood pressure is not a good thing...

A Response to Consider

I have friends who think I am horrible and crazy to think that stricter gun control laws are not the answer to the tragedy in CT. I am not a spokesperson for the NRA. However, I refuse to villify them, or the gun industry.

If the CT shooter had obeyed the strict gun laws in CT there would've been no shooting. But CRAZY people do NOT obey gun laws. Nor do criminals. So the solution isn't more laws. It's more protection for people who DO obey the laws.

The FIRST and most important thing is to arm teachers. Did you know in Utah teachers are allowed to carry concealed weapons into schools?

Read this post by Larry Correia, the whole thing, and I bet by the end you will agree with him. He knows what he's talking about.

I am going to quote Larry here because I think this is so powerful:

The man that attacked the midnight showing of Batman didn’t attack just any theater. There were like ten to choose from. He didn’t attack the closest. It wasn’t about biggest or smallest. He attacked the one that was posted NO GUNS ALLOWED.

There were four mass killing attempts this week. Only one made the news because it helped the agreed upon media narrative.

1. Oregon. NOT a gun free zone. Shooter confronted by permit holder. Shooter commits suicide. Only a few casualties.
2. Texas. NOT a gun free zone. Shooter killed immediately by off duty cop. Only a few casualties.
3. Connecticut. GUN FREE ZONE. Shooters kills until the police arrive. Suicide. 26 dead.
4. China. GUN FREE COUNTRY. A guy with a KNIFE stabs 22 children.

And here is the nail in the coffin for Gun Free Zones. Over the last fifty years, with only one single exception (Gabby Giffords), every single mass shooting event with more than four casualties has taken place in a place where guns were supposedly not allowed.