We are having a cool, windy day here in Hot-Lanta and my internet has been iffy, thus no post this morning. I also had a job interview this morning.
I had another interview this afternoon, by phone. That makes three interviews in the past week. So hopefully something will come thru soon.
I had planned to get my room cleaned this afternoon. Didn't happen. I did get dinner started, and cleaned up the kitchen, and had lunch with Mother. Then, it seemed like 5 minutes later, Michael was home.
Someone posted this lovely article on Facebook and I wanted to share the link because it's something everyone should read: My Modern Family, by NPR host Steve Inskeep. I listen to him all the time. He was adopted back in the day when domestic adoptions were closed, and he and his wife recetly adopted a toddler from China.
One commenter rudely suggested he should have adopted from America. I heard this from various people as well. I don't have too much trouble hushing up such folks because I simply say "God told me my daughter was in Russia." then of course he showed me Michael, in Kazakhstan. My big life-changing decisions are always leaps of faith, God-driven journeys.
I cannot fault people who choose to adopt domestically, though. The tricky part is navigating America's adoption laws. I have had too many relatives and friends who thought they were adopting here, and the birthmom changed her mind at the last minute, putting the adoptive parents through emotional hell. I've also heard too many horror stories of kids adopted from foster care only to have a horrible parent appear on the scene and demand their child back. The system is horribly flawed.
That's not to say I would advise people to NOT adopt domestically. Every parent - male, female, young, old, single or married, gay or straight - needs to make the best decision for their family. I think if you earnestly ask God to show you the family you are meant to have, you will find that family. Maybe it's raising a sibling. Maybe it's loving your furbabies. Maybe you just love on your neices and nephews. There is NO right or wrong way to make a family.
I used to think differently. I remember organizing a family reunion years ago and wondering if we should invite the grown adopted son of one of Dad's cousins. Would he want to be around us? Would he feel it was strange? Long story short, I invited him and he came and brought his family. He was a lovely man. I was sorry I didn't get to know him better because not long afterwards he died unexpectedly and prematurely.
Since that time, my heart has opened exponentially. I am puzzled and hurt when the occasional question gets thrown at me like "What does Michael call you?" I heard that one not long ago, from someone who should've known better. My response was "He calls me Mom, of course. Sometimes Mommy." I think I laughed nervously and added "What do you think, he would call me Dee??" and then I got an even more yucky question, "Well I just wondered, since you're not really his mother."
At that point I turned and walked quickly to the ladies room, to avoid saying anything really rude and using profanity.
I had an interviewer say to me not long ago, "Well, not many people know anything about adoption."
Really? I read somewhere not long ago that almost everyone in America either has an adopted family member, or friend, neighbor, or colleague. Adoption is pretty commonplace.
I was once told [right after I brought home my daughter] "There's a couple in my church who went and bought one of those cute little Chinese babies!" - like it was some new novelty item at a shop. I was so nonplussed I couldn't think of a rebuttal. The breadth of insensitivity just amazed me..
Anyway, I didn't mean to veer off on a rant. Yikes, need to take Mike to tennis. More later.
This is Mike's group in the orphanage. He is the front row, 4th from right.
