The Crab Chronicles

A Baseball Dynasty

I guess nothing should ever surprise me any more because I've seen and heard a lot in my half century here in earth, but occasionally something surprising and/or interesting happens and I am, as the British say, "gobsmacked."

I love that word, GOBSMACKED. It describes things so visually.

I got an email yesterday from my cousin Jan, who is the geneaology guru for the Hasty side of the family. Now she is retired and she has even more time to dig up interesting facts about the Hasty family.

Seems we are all related to a young San Francisco baseball player named Buster Posey. Buster is from Leesburg, Georgia.

I pulled out my Hasty family notes and figured it out. Here is the connection:

William Ervin Hasty and William Dozier Hasty were brothers. [Great Great grandaddy John sure loved the name William!!]

William Ervin Hasty's daughter Emma married Elbert Tippens. They had a son named Jack Tippens. Jack had a son named Walter Tippens. Walter's grandson is Buster Posey.

William Dozier Hasty married Virginia McMillan and they had a number of children, one being my grandfather Robert Hasty, who played for the Philadelphia Athletics under Connie Mack, 1919-1924.

So to recap: Buster's great great great grandfather and my great grandfather were brothers. That makes us 3rd cousins, or something like that. [I can never keep that straight when it goes past second cousins.]

Buster's siblings are all baseball folks too. This is from Jan's email: "Buster's brother, Jack, would have played baseball except he had to have surgery that ended his career.  Their sister, Sam is a student at Valdosta State and has a scholarship as a 3 rd base softball player.  Jess Posey is a freshman at UGA and plays 3rd base/pitcher."

My third cousin Warren's son played baseball in college. My uncle Bob Hasty Jr. played minor league baseball. My first cousins [once removed] Michael Hasty and Brent B played baseball in college. Brent's two little boys are good enough to be on travel teams in the little leagues.

I'm sure there are other college players in the family. I just can't keep up with all the descendants - there are well over 100 of them.

I sent Brent's wife a message and told her about the Buster Posey connection and she replied with this interesting note: "One of the grandfathers to a boy on my son's team works with Buster Posey's Mother. He sent the boy an autographed ball recently for his birthday. He's Very nice young man! Great to know there's a connection. Thanks!!"

We are a BASEBALL FAMILY! 

Robert Keller Hasty

Gerald "Buster" Posey III

Now for the history: below are the brothers who started the baseball dynasty.

This is William Ervin Hasty and his family:

Above is William Dozier Hasty, my great grandfather - see the resemblance between the two brothers?? Here are their parents:

John T. [1818-1907]  m. Sarah Mahalie Nelson [1820-1902]                  *She was reportedly part Cherokee

 Their Children:

                William Pinkney Hasty* [1839-1889] m. Sarah Margaret Holden [1836-1917]

            Perry Hasty [1847-1916] m. Saphronia Keeter

            John Terrell Hasty [1849] m. Amanda Jane Watkins /Harriet Thaxton

            Joe Zechariah Hasty [1851-53]

            William Ervin Hasty [1852-1926] m. Amanda Ledbetter [BUSTER'S GREAT GREAT GRANDPARENTS]

            James Hiram Hasty [1855-75]

            Roxie Ann Hasty [1857-1944] m. William Mashburn [JAN'S GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER]

            William Dozier [1860-1940] m. Virginia McMillan [1862-1929] [MY GREAT GRANDPARENTS]

 

*William Pinckney was a son of Sarah’s already born when they married; his name was changed to Hasty

Work With No Drama

I had a 3+ hour job interview yesterday morning, and the entire time I wanted to kick off my shoes and walk around. My hobbit feet were being tortured and the chair I was in was not friendly to my back. I generally never sit for more than about 45 minutes, tops, without walking for a minute anyway.

However, the interview went really well and I am hoping to be working soon, part-time. There are a couple of issues, though, which are out of my hands, so I need to reign in my excitement until things are worked out a bit better. If I could pick up another part-time job it would be ideal.

It was pouring rain and cold and just nasty when I was going to my interview. By the time I got out, things had cleared up a good bit, thank goodness.

I keep seeing job ads on Craigslist where students are advertising for someone to write their term papers for them! Really takes cheating to a new level. I am always tempted to ask them how they think someone else is going to write a terrific term paper for them in one night? It's always due the next day. And then of course, how would the kid pay the writer?! I hated writing papers when I was a kid, but those were the days when you actually had to physically GO to the library and look through the card catalogue, and look through dusty stacks of books and boring periodicals. Now you have GOOGLE!

So I am not feeling sorry for anyone having to research anything now.

I saw an ad this morning that included this: "Must be able to come in and work with no drama." [Hmmm... bet I know why the last person is no longer there! I guess I would have to hope they didn't discover my undergrad degree is in Drama... LOL]

More Funny job ad lines: [these are REAL ads, fyi]

"I would like to have a memorial portrait painted on an acoustic guitar that belonged to a deceased relative." [because they can't remember what he looks like? sounds sorta creepy to me...]

"I am looking for somebody to make a sign for the entrance to our company using a slab of live edge wood that we will provide (about 1'x2'). Our company name has 3 words. Looking for something more professional than rustic." [so burning words into a slab of wood should look professional?!?]

"Fashion Designer looking for a seamstress that is creative and is willing to help create Exotic Fashion wear." [what exactly does "exotic" mean?? all the possibilities are rather scary]

"The bottom line is that people like me want to bust our rear ends in an effort to create a brand, a lifestyle and a future for ourselves where we don't have to work for arrogant pricks in order to pay the bills." same ad goes on to say: "Please don't send me resumes. I'm not a file opener. Leave your heart bleeding in an email." [Lots of drama in the AD! Don't think I want to work for this person...]

"We're looking for good looking fit guys to model jockstraps and underwear." [they forgot to say EXHIBITIONIST...]

"need help with bottle rocket it depends on how nice, you can make it. will pay cash send me pics of the rocket. Must work perfect" [I think there is a mailbox somewhere that is in imminent danger]

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"Now Casting Season 2 of MTV's Catfish: The TV Show

Are you the ultimate Catfish? Have you mastered the art of multiple online identities? Have others fallen in love with your Internet alter-egos? Are you an expert at leading a double life?" [if so, you are obviously mentally unbalanced and the perfect person to star in an MTV show!!]

"Looked for experienced graffiti artist for contract work to create engaging and creative art work. Must have experience with paint markers, sharpies and the like. Throw ups and pieces and tags of your work needed to verify your style." [somebody is in love and itches to declare it on an overpass... but English is not their strong suit]

"I write songs and have the tune, but I can't sing good or play an instrument." [so how, exactly, are you going to covey the tune to your potential partner?]

Babkas and Redneck Businesses

ALl day yesterday I waited for the rain, hoping it would rain really, because I didn't want to have to sit through Michael's tennis match. Yes, I know that sounds bad, but it was really cold and windy yesterday and sitting outside was not appealing.

I did go to the match, and sat there for an hour and a half, and he didn't get to play. I finally thought nope, this is silly. I am going to catch bronchitis. So I went home. Michael lost his match, and I felt like crap about it. Bad mommy. Not sick, but certainly not a candidate for mother of the year either.

I was also in a Facebook argument about gun control yesterday. Isn't it funny how childish one gets when arguing like that?! I almost found myself typing YOU'RE A STUPID IDIOT!! Then they type something, then you, and eventually you must just STOP. Otherwise it's all-consuming. If you are the type of person who just has to have the last word, you're in trouble.

So other than that, there's not much to report.

My friend Judy wrote a whole post about babka. I have never eaten one in my life. I've been to New York several times, just not eaten a babka. I Googled it. Looks like a coffee cake or a king cake with the garish colors. The irony is that I've been to Europe and Russia and Kazakhstan, but not eaten babka. Then again, I've never traveled to California, or anywhere on the west coast of the US.

I wonder if she's ever had a Moon Pie or a hot Krispy Kreme?! Different strokes...

I saw a job ad this morning containing a phrase I've never seen before: Great location in close proximity to restaurants and shops! I've never chosen to answer an ad based on that kind of information. It's really sort of insulting. I should answer it and demand to know how much time I get at lunch for shopping...

Here's the funny ad of the day, though. The show Duck Dynasty is a big hit, so now TV production folks want a copycat.

"Looking for a fun family business - be the next Duck Dynasty!

Looking for a fun multi-generational family with their own business near the water (i.e. ocean, river, lake, pond, swamp). We need outgoing funny characters and an interesting family business! Be the next, most entertaining family shown on TV! Please email us and tell us about your family and what business you have."

I am seriously tempted to send them something like this: "Hi, we's the Jones clan, and we got us a bait stand on highway 49 does real well - we's all living in luxury double-wides. We'd just like them Duck folks 'cept we sell worms. We don't like to shave. We's kissing cousins with them Honey Boo Boo folks. how 'bout it??!"

Then again, we have enough redneck stereotypes to deal with...

Oscar Recap and New Photos of Us

Well, y'all know I was in front of the TV last night watching all the Oscars coverage. I even let Michael stay up and watch. Last year I made him go to bed before they were over and he was mad at me. This year I figured, natural consequences will suffice.

He was fine when I got him up this morning and gave him a cup of tea and some cereal, but I imagine he will be sleepy this afternoon..

I was hoping Seth McFarlane would do a good job, and he didn't totally stink, but there were a lot of uncomfortable moments and really tasteless jokes. I thought the production number "Show Us Your Boobs" was dreadful. However, anyone who has ever watched Family Guy would know, McFarlane pushes the envelope on tastefulness all the time.

It just amazes me that the show is so bloated with filler, when it could be done in two hours, easy, if they'd cut out all the silly production numbers and just GIVE OUT THE AWARDS. I didn't need to see the production number from Chicago, for instance.

I was really glad Argo won Best Picture. It is an awesome movie.

Before the Oscars, I spent a good bit of time trying to help Michael with his Biology, and it was a horrible struggle. I do not understand the fine points of DNA double helixes, nor do I care, except I'd like to be able to teach Michael.

My cousin Mark came over after lunch, to take some PR photos for my friend Kristy [Kristyne Seidenberg]. I am creating a blog for her called "The Atlanta Lawyer Who Makes Housecalls," because she does a lot of Wills and Estate Planning. She prefers talking to people in their own homes, and most older folks especially don't like going to an office and dealing with directions and parking. She also does divorce, school advocacy, and some litigation. Her fees are very reasonable because she works from home and has almost no overhead. So if you are in the Atlanta area and need an attorney in one of those areas, CALL KRISTY! [BTW, She is having a free estate planning seminar this Thursday evening at Sweet Dee's Bakery in Tucker!]

Plus she is a super nice person, not cold or intimidating like some lawyers. Kristy rocks!

While Mark was visiting I asked him to take a few informal shots of us, and some of them are below. He is a wonderful photographer. [If you want some terrific photos I can put you in touch with him!]

Coco supervised the photo shoot, of course.

Michael had just come in from playing tennis and was a little sweaty.

I looked at this handsome young man and I thought WHERE did my little boy go?! Sad and happy moment. Such is true for all parents I'm sure...

Gangster Squad Scores

Never underestimate the power of a movie to distract and entertain you. I don't. During some of the most stressful times in my life I have gone to the movies and been able to unwind.

So yesterday afternoon, my sinus headache gone, I took Michael and Colton to see Gangster Squad. It's based on real events in Los Angeles in the 1940's when Mickey Cohen ruled the city. Really fun movie, despite Sean Penn's ridiculous scene-chewing. I hadn't seen him in years. He's really gross looking in this movie. (Of course, I hate his politics so that colors my opinion, I admit...)

Ryan Gosling looked delightful, as usual, although his voice was very soft and raspy in this film and I didn't like it.

Mireille Enos, a young actress who played James Brolin's wife, was really good. She is someone to watch.

Here's a clip that will give you a good idea of what the movie is like:

 

Pop Culture Junkies

There are little tiny meth junkies inside my skull with tiny pickaxes running around pounding my face from the inside. Can you say SINUS HEADACHE FROM HELL?!

Outside it's cold and rainy. I didn't run my warm air humidifier last night and I am paying for it this morning.

My mother's friend Carolyn came in yesterday from Augusta and I got up and cooked breakfast and chatted pleasantly and acted perfectly normal while she was here. 

She left, and I took medication.

Obviously not enough.

The tiny insane meth junkies have slowed down a bit and the pickaxes are slightly less dull, but they are still there.

This is after 2 Aleve, 2 Motrin, and half a Hydrocodone [leftover from back problems last summer].

I know you're thinking WOW, Dee is totally overmedicated. I bet she's a zombie.

Well, no. I'm typing, right?

I am short and fat, like R2D2 combined with a meteor, so I can handle more medication than most people. Although, to be honest, at the moment I am scratching my eyes a lot due to allergies, feeling rather out of it, and I am contemplating taking it easy ALL DAY.Thanks be to God for Saturday.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day cleaning the house, because I didn't want Carolyn to think we are total slobs. We are kinda slobby, but not in a "health hazard" way. I was in the home of one of Mike's friends recently and WOW, that lady obviously never cleans. Compared to that place, our house looks like Martha Stewart's place after the maids have just left.

Anyway, my house is fairly clean, and for once all the laundry is caught up.

Today it's cold and rainy and I want to do nothing all day.

LAGNIAPPE

I will share one more funny job ad I stumbled across this morning. The person who wrote this is obviously obsessed, probably to an unhealthy degree, with some show on TV called The Vampire Diaries.I copied this verbatim; no editing. I think the person who placed the ad probably has trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy.They probably need medication.

I like the phrase "pop culture junkie." That's a nice way of saying "couch potato."

Wanted: Obsessive Vampire Diaries Writer and Fan (Atlanta)

Don't lie. All you do is watch TV. Yes, you have a job, but it's not a priority. Vampire Diaries? Now we're talkin' priorities. So how about this? Earn the right to say, "I'm a Vampire Diaries-viewing professional," and earn some money at the same time. We're looking for a talented and opinionated writer and pop culture junkie to become the expert for Vampire Diaries -- that means blogging, recapping, Top 10s, gossip coverage, and otherwise leading web users to what they need to know about *your* show. We also love exclusive interviews with the cast/contestants (past and present) and anyone involved with the show! Send us two sassy-snarky Vampire Diaries-themed writing samples that are approximately 300-500 words each. Then, let's talk. Relevant entertainment web writing experience *required*. Writer must be available 10 -- 15 hours per week when the show is in-season, approximately 2 -5 hours off-season.

PLEASE READ BEFORE APPLYING: We'd like to see a cover letter, your resume, and two entertainment-related writing samples (300 - 500 words each), then let's talk. Resumes missing any of this information will be immediately disregarded."

Are you OBSESSED and CONSUMED?!?

Craigslist is a reliable source for comedy, and I look at it every day. Some of the funniest ads are in the category "TV and Radio Jobs."

Take this one for example:

JEWLERY STORE PHOTO SHOOT CASTING

**Absolutely no tattoos larger than 2x2 inches

Are huge tats really a concern in ATLANTA?! If they are trying to sell "bling" maybe they should be more open to tats... They sure don't know how to spell...

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Ever wondered how reality shows find people? I figured it out. They answer ads like these:

 

NOW CASTING: DO YOU HAVE A "WHO DONE IT" AND NEED A LIE DETECTOR TEST? (NATIONWDIE) Do you think a friend or family member has lied to you, stolen from you, or scammed you? Do you need a lie detector test to get to the bottom of it? Our nationally syndicated talk show would love to hear from you. Please send an email to XXXXXXXX.XXX with your name, contact info, picture, and a brief description of your story. [note how the word highlighted above is spelled incorrectly!]

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Here's another one that I am pretty sure is a reality TV show trolling for wacky guests:

MAJOR NETWORK CASTING WOMEN AGES 16-25!

"Are you married and or soon to be headed down the isle? Are you seriously discussing marriage with your significant other? Do you have friends with big personalities who are getting ready for their big day or recently announced an engagement?

A major TV network is seeking fun women under the age of 25 who are either married or are planning to wed within the next two years. If any of the above fits you or anyone you know, please write in and share your story. Please also include your name, email address, two current photos, and the best phone number to reach you."

So, in plainer English: are you a hot looking young "lady" who is engaged? Do you have a bunch of trashy friends?  I'm surprised the entire ad is spelled correctly. See the italicized phrase? That sentence is not grammatically correct. Ha!

How many women under age 25 [outside of Hooterville] are engaged? Young women these days wait longer and longer to wed, if they ever wed at all.

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I like an ad that sounds semi-hysterical, like this one:

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO DIET & EXERCISE?

"Are you or someone you know obsessed or even addicted to dieting and exercising? Has the obsession to lose or maintain weight and calorie count gotten the best of you? From too much time in the gym, trying every diet out there, sneaking work out time away from the job and family, stepping on a scale 10 times a day, etc -- if you find yourself spending more time dieting & exercising more than you do everything else -- PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORY!

Screaming Flea Productions (the creators of HOARDERS and MY SHOPPING ADDICTION) in association with a major cable network is working on a new series called OBSESSED & CONSUMED and is seeking FEMALES CANDIDATES between the ages of 18-45 who may be on the verge of a crisis due to their obsession/addiction to DIET & EXERCISE

To apply please go to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX and click on the OBSESSED & CONSUMED"

 

It occurs to me that if you ARE addicted to dieting and exercising, you probably don't have time to check ads on Craigslist.

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Casting: Women who lose their tempers at work! (Georgia)

"A major cable network is now casting women who constantly lose their temper IN THE WORKPLACE!

If your customers, bosses or co-workers simply drive you crazy and you can't hold back, we want to hear from you.

Is arguing a regular part of your job? Is dealing with unhappy customers the norm? Are you expected to have a bit of an attitude to get the job done?

Do you work in an environment where YELLING is the only way to get things done?!

Whether the tempers flare between those you work with or those you serve, we want to hear your story.

Contact us today and we will forward you the application and show information."

OK, this one is leaving out one important word: BOSS. Because if you are constantly losing it at work and yelling? You aren't keeping a job for very long. So you have to be the boss or the owner of the company. [Julie Sugarbaker? Are you there?!]

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The ad below is probably the best one I have ever seen. I am deathly curious about who would answer it:

CASTING: GROSS guys and the FABULOUS women who love them!

"Are you a woman hiding a dirty secret? Is your boyfriend/fiancé/husband an obnoxious filthy slob? Are you constantly disgusted by his behavior? Does his grossness and annoying habits embarrass you in public? Do people constantly question how you can live with your man? Or how he ended up with someone like you? Do these words fail to even describe the level of disgust your man exhibits?

Most importantly - do you love him anyway?

Secret or not, a major cable network is looking for men who are messy, sloppy, filthy, or just plain gross and the fabulous women who love them. We're looking for big personalities who aren't afraid to share their true habits with the world (ex- dirty/ never washed wardrobe, eating out of dumpsters, snot rocketing in public, etc). Whatever it is, we want to hear from you!

If you think this sounds like you and your man - and for more information - please send your name, contact information, current photos, a description of your relationship, and why you think you'd be perfect for this show to: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.com

We look forward to hearing your story!"

 

OK, I keep going back to the phrase "snot rocketing in public." Isn't THAT a lovely visual??!

Enterprising people who can act are probably making a living going on "reality" shows and pretending all this stuff, so they can be cast in these TV shows. This proves my long-held theory that "reality" shows have nothing to do with reality WHATSOEVER. It's just BAD ACTING. Yikes.

Below, actor Mickey Rourke, who probably inspired that last ad:

In the News

When I was a kid and I spent my Saturday mornings lying on the floor watching cartoons all morning, there was a little "featurette" on CBS called In the News.

I had spent my early childhood playing in the room while my dad watched the news every night, so I knew about real news. The In The News little films were pretty light stuff, like this one on roller skating and the Olympics:

 

I noticed some interesting news stories this morning.

After I dropped off Michael at school, I heard Residents disgusted after woman's body found in hotel water tank. MAJOR ICK. Dead body in the water. Here's the funny part of the story:

"Sources familiar with the case said it was too early to tell whether the person was the victim of foul play but said the location was being treated as a crime scene. Her body was found in one of four tanks that make up the water supply for the hotel."

They can't decide if it was foul play? You think she knew she was dying and decided to drag herself up to the roof and hop in the water tank?!? Really? Wow.

I read a blog by a man with a congenital limb difference who is a pastor in Wisconsin. He writes well. I like this post I read this morning: Aron Ralston Swore at Me. Ralston was the hiker who had to cut off his own arm to save his life, as immortalized in the movie 127 Hours. He also had to drink his own pee while he was waiting for help.

Seems like I am preoccupied with disgusting stuff this morning. Hmm...

One story I liked reading was The Oscars Atlanta Connection. Lots of movies are being filmed around here now. Hallelujah.

I am rather amused by the occasional breathless report in the newspaper like "Reese Witherspoon was seen at the Quik Trip in Marietta!" or "Ashton Kutcher was spotted at the Waffle House!" Nevertheless, I would probably act like an idiot if I saw Jake Gyllenhaal at a local restaurant. Don't judge me.

Describe Yourself in Ten Words or Less

I had to fill out an online questionnaire about myself in order to apply for a job this morning, and I was expecting questions of a professional nature, so I waited until I was full and rested and I'd had my morning tea. Then I took a deep breath and opened the questionnaire.

The first questions were about my ethnicity and military status and such. No problemo. I didn't put down my birthdate because that's not supposed to be asked in a job interview situation and I just didn't see the point. If anyone is curious and has a computer they can figure it out pretty easily.

Or they can look at my gray hair.

I've never understood why women lie about their age. I never lie about it. I am always tempted to ADD 10 years, though. Why, you may wonder? Well, then people will say "Wow! You look great for your age!"

Why thank you.

I digressed.

Anyway, the next parts of the questionnaire were asking me what adjectives people would use to describe me, and what adjectives I would use to describe myself. There were long lists of adjectives.

Michael said the other day that his friends think I am "cool." That was not on the list. Bummer.

Mother has always said that I am bossy. That one wasn't on there either.The words "just like your grandmother" also can't be reduced to a single word.

So much for a "comprehensive" list.

How silly to reduce people to a list of adjectives. No matter how extensive, the list simply fails to capture me - or anyone else, for that matter.That's like saying a painting done by numbers is a perfect representation of a person. Nope. It's a vague likeness, at best.

Here's some that weren't on the list. Do they make me undesirable as an employee? I dunno. You decide.

CRYBABY: When I watch video of people crying, it makes me cry. Every time. Can't help it. Seeing one of my loved ones upset and/or hurting makes me cry. I rarely ever cry about myself.

PUSHY: A few years ago I had to push and fight and be obnoxious just to get an IEP for my daughter. I had testing data from a prominent neuropsychologist who verified she had a learning disability but the school folks wouldn't look at it. I had to threaten to sue to get the child what she needed, but I got it done.They don't like me at the school, but I don't care.

SILLY: I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. I was folding Michael's clean clothes the other day while we watched TV and I stuck a pair of boxers on my head like a hat and made him laugh. Why not? My dad used to put plastic pants on his head while he changed me and it always made me laugh.

PASSIONATE: I guess that's a loaded word, to some people. I'm not talking about sex. Passion applies to so much more than that. I am a passionate advocate for adopted children, and ones needing to be adopted. I am passionate about animals being treated with love and compassion. I am passionate about doing the right thing, in every situation. I am passionate about writing. I am passionate about caring for my mom and my son.I am passionate about my faith. A life lived without passion is empty.

DEMANDING: I demand that folks treat me and mine with respect. You don't have to like me. You don't have to treat me as special. You do have to show me basic respect.

OLD: I am OK with being thought of as old. I still have a hard time processing that I am 50 [see how easy it was to find that out?!]. Half a century. It blows my mind. What's wrong with being old, though? What's wrong with saying yep, I don't do high-impact aerobics any more but I can still walk at a good clip. I can still laugh. I like meeting new people. I am not old and GROUCHY. I am aging well, like fine wine. I know SO MUCH more about life than I did when I was 30. I am seasoned. If you want a Gen X person, fine. I bring a lot more to the table, and I'm proud of that.

Here's how I would like people to remember me after I am dead: Dee wasn't perfect but she knew how to LOVE. Her family and friends knew she loved them.

What else really matters?!

Adoption Ruminations

We are having a cool, windy day here in Hot-Lanta and my internet has been iffy, thus no post this morning. I also had a job interview this morning.

I had another interview this afternoon, by phone. That makes three interviews in the past week. So hopefully something will come thru soon.

I had planned to get my room cleaned this afternoon. Didn't happen. I did get dinner started, and cleaned up the kitchen, and had lunch with Mother. Then, it seemed like 5 minutes later, Michael was home.

Someone posted this lovely article on Facebook and I wanted to share the link because it's something everyone should read: My Modern Family, by NPR host Steve Inskeep. I listen to him all the time. He was adopted back in the day when domestic adoptions were closed, and he and his wife recetly adopted a toddler from China.

One commenter rudely suggested he should have adopted from America. I heard this from various people as well. I don't have too much trouble hushing up such folks because I simply say "God told me my daughter was in Russia." then of course he showed me Michael, in Kazakhstan. My big life-changing decisions are always leaps of faith, God-driven journeys.

I cannot fault people who choose to adopt domestically, though. The tricky part is navigating America's adoption laws. I have had too many relatives and friends who thought they were adopting here, and the birthmom changed her mind at the last minute, putting the adoptive parents through emotional hell. I've also heard too many horror stories of kids adopted from foster care only to have a horrible parent appear on the scene and demand their child back. The system is horribly flawed.

That's not to say I would advise people to NOT adopt domestically. Every parent - male, female, young, old, single or married, gay or straight - needs to make the best decision for their family. I think if you earnestly ask God to show you the family you are meant to have, you will find that family. Maybe it's raising a sibling. Maybe it's loving your furbabies. Maybe you just love on your neices and nephews. There is NO right or wrong way to make a family.

I used to think differently. I remember organizing a family reunion years ago and wondering if we should invite the grown adopted son of one of Dad's cousins. Would he want to be around us? Would he feel it was strange?  Long story short, I invited him and he came and brought his family. He was a lovely man. I was sorry I didn't get to know him better because not long afterwards he died unexpectedly and prematurely.

Since that time, my heart has opened exponentially. I am puzzled and hurt when the occasional question gets thrown at me like "What does Michael call you?" I heard that one not long ago, from someone who should've known better. My response was "He calls me Mom, of course. Sometimes Mommy." I think I laughed nervously and added "What do you think, he would call me Dee??" and then I got an even more yucky question, "Well I just wondered, since you're not really his mother."

At that point I turned and walked quickly to the ladies room, to avoid saying anything really rude and using profanity.

I had an interviewer say to me not long ago, "Well, not many people know anything about adoption."

Really? I read somewhere not long ago that almost everyone in America either has an adopted family member, or friend, neighbor, or colleague. Adoption is pretty commonplace.

I was once told [right after I brought home my daughter] "There's a couple in my church who went and bought one of those cute little Chinese babies!" - like it was some new novelty item at a shop. I was so nonplussed I couldn't think of a rebuttal. The breadth of insensitivity just amazed me..

Anyway, I didn't mean to veer off on a rant. Yikes, need to take Mike to tennis. More later.

This is Mike's group in the orphanage. He is the front row, 4th from right.