The Crab Chronicles

World Religions

OK,it's starting out to be a really weird day.

I had an email from some internet marketing company wanting to do a guest post on my blog Bad Date Stories. I welcome guest blogs on there because I've already told my best bad date stories, but this company wanted ME to pay for a guest blog by people promoting an escort service! ICK! I sent a polite reply saying I was not interested.

If you use an escort service you deserve a bad date. Use an internet dating service like everyone else!

If YOU, dear reader, have a bad date story, please give me a holler because I like to post them.

I hope nobody gets mad about this but I saw this on Facebook and thought it was hysterically funny, so I am re-posting it here:

Cold and Clear

Couldn't get words to work this morning, as my brain was throbbing with a sinus headache. It's bitterly cold for Atlanta [40's] and windy, so not a surprise. Decided to just rest today, as much as possible.

At least it's not cold and rainy.

Michael spent last night at Colton's house, and today they are bumming around the mall. It's too cold to do much outside, so that's fine.

Mother and I watched a terrific movie last night, Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story. Very good movie. I am going to watch it again tonight with Michael.

I have been SO impressed by how Dr. Ben Carson handled himself at the National Prayer Breakfast. I wrote about it in Dr. Ben Carson, My New Hero.

My last day at a regular job was Friday. I have some freelance work, but the hunt continues. I have been sending off resumes right and left and had some good interviews, so something will work out.

My plan for the next week is to work on cleaning up and reorganizing my house, and I have a ton of other things to do. I am taking the attitude that I will be going to work again soon [or working from home] and so I need to make hay while the sun shines, so to speak. My room is particularly in need of a good cleaning and I need to go through a ton of papers and throw out a bunch of stuff.

My garage is also a cluttered mess, but I will put off that cleaning until a warm weekend, when there is nothing much else going on.

Michael has a day off from school tomorrow, so I am pondering something fun we could do together that doesn't cost too much. We like to go bum around thrift stores and junky little "antique" stores so we may do that...

My brother found a great deal on a very warm jacket recently and sent it to Mike, but until this weekend it hasn't been cold enough to wear it. He wore it yesterday.

Saving Children Who Are Handicapped

Every night when I kiss Michael good night, I marvel at the fact that I was chosen to be his mother. To me, he is perfect and beautiful, and I could not ask for a better son.I am truly blessed to be his mama.

I prayed to find the right child, and God showed him to me.

To people in Kazakhstan, he is hopelessly crippled and will never be able to support himself. He was destined to live on welfare the rest of his life if he had stayed in that country, because of that culture. His missing hand condemned him. That's why the assistant director at the orphanage worked so hard to get him adopted. She saw past his missing hand and saw a very smart, good boy, who would do well in a family.

She knew that nobody in the northern Asian country of Kazakhstan would adopt a 9 year old who was missing a hand, particularly not a child who was clearly a mix of Kazakh and Russian.

The fact he is mixed race was the second thing that counted against him in that country. There are kids in the orphanage simply because they are not 100% Russian or 100% Kazakh. I sponsored a child through Antares Foundation who was only in the orphanage because her stepmother refused to raise a child who was mixed race, and made the father put her in the orphanage. There she stayed, until her ethnically Russian mother got out of prison and took her back.She was a beautiful child, and smart.

My son proves all the suspicions and prejudices to be WRONG. He makes good grades. He has dear friends. He loves to play tennis and plays on the school team. He also loves baseball, basketball, and swimming. His only limitations are the limits of his view about himself, and I am trying to help him have more confidence.

I have never seen someone meet my son and have a negative reaction. He has the most amazing spirit, and a calm and gentle kindness that shines through. What a blessing he is to not only our family, but to everyone around him.

I have had nearly all the mothers of Mike's friends tell me, at one time or another, that they never see Michael's limb difference. It's not something they thought about after the first few minutes of meeting him. It doesn't define him. It's not really a handicap, just a difference.

The difficult thing for most Americans to understand is that our view of handicaps or racial differences is not typical in the world.

I found a fascinating essay called Growing Up Asian With a Disability, by a young Asian woman, Grace Chao. She starts off saying:

"Disability is still a taboo topic within many parts of Asian cultures. People with disabilities are often seen as outcasts of society and worthless citizens. In many modern-day Asian countries, the disabled are still regarded as incapable of becoming educated, functioning members of society. Therefore, they are often forgotten and fall beneath the cracks. This old school of superstitious thought teaches that disability is some sort of punishment, and promotes the idea that being different is always a horrible thing."

What got me started thinking about this, you might ask?

My friend Cindy LaJoy posted the most amazing link last night, on Facebook. It illustrates so well what I am saying, but it also points out how a pastor in South Korea was able to address the problem of abandoned babies in his country.

I urge you to watch the trailer to the documentary about him, The Drop Box. The pastor in South Korea who made a box for mothers to "drop off" their handicapped babies. He created his own little orphanage, and he literally saved these babies' lives. It's one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. I have watched the trailer for the documentary now three times and cried every.single.time.

Please watch the trailer.

my sweet son in the orphanage in 2007 - that little hand is now a lot bigger than mine!

Valentine's Day

To me, the way to define a great holiday is with food. It's just not a holiday occasion without a special meal.

So my Valentine's Day gift to Mother and Michael was to fix a great dinner. We had lobster tails, fresh spinach, and french bread, a crusty baguette.

When I was driving home from the store the smell of the baguette was intoxicating.

I ate more than my share of the spinach.

In truth, it was an easy meal to fix. I just dumped the tails in some water with lemon juice and boiled them for a minute. The bread was buttered and put in the oven to warm. The spinach took a few minutes because I pull the stems off, but sauteeing it was a 2 minute deal. Olive oil, butter, garlic.

I was not in the mood to do a fancy dessert. So I relied on Publix excellent store brands of ice cream.

We had Otter Paw ice cream for dessert.

It's vanilla ice cream with chocolate covered pecans and caramel. Be still my heart.

Our movie was The Blind Side, which Mother hadn't seen before. We didn't finish it but we will.

It was a really hectic day - work, Mike had an orthodontist appt., then I took him to tennis. Bought groceries. Picked him up. Cooked dinner.

I am SO ready for a three day weekend.

A Story of Transforming Love

Love is the most powerful energy there is, bar none, and with love, miracles are possible.

I want to tell you a story about a little girl who celebrates her birthday today.

For privacy reasons, I won't reveal her real name, but this is her story.

More than twenty years ago, in a remote corner of Russia, a baby girl was born to a teenage mom. I'll call her Maria. The mom left soon afterwards, and left the baby in the care of her mother. No father was ever in the picture. The baby was cared for by several different relatives.

One day, neighbors realized they hadn't seen the baby, who was about 3 years old, in a few days. They went to the door of the apartment.

The toddler was in there with a relative who had been dead for several days.

Little Maria was sent to an orphanage. She remained there for several years. Then she went to an orphanage for older children, once again losing out on caregivers.

Pulling a child away from caregivers, over and over, is very damaging to her emotionally. Maria was no exception. She learned that the only people she could count on were other orphans.

She grew into a beautiful little blonde girl with a broad smile, but it hid a lot of pain and a damaged soul.

However, she had one dear friend, another little blonde girl, and they bonded. Unlike the other girls, no family members ever came to see those two.

One day when she was 11 years old, a lady from America came to her orphanage. She was a nurse, and was doing missionary work with a volunteer group. They were spreading the word of God along with much needed supplies.

This lady, I'll call her Susan, met little Maria and knew this was the child meant to be her daughter. She went home to America and began the process of adoption.

Not long afterwards, Maria's friend got adopted.

Both girls came home to loving single moms.

Susan had a very difficult time with Maria. She missed her friends terribly. So much so, she tried to run away from Susan, tried to find a train to go back to the orphanage. It was the only home she had ever known for so many years, and the prospect of going to America was terrifying, even with a loving mom like Susan.

Nevertheless, Susan persevered. She loved Maria with all her heart and wanted to give her a good life.

The first few days home, Maria flew into rages. She would kick, scream, and bite when Susan asked her to do the simplest things, like wash her hands for dinner. Horrified, Susan took her to a specialist who helped adoptive parents. He advised Susan to use a therapeutic hold method to calm Maria during these rages. Maria also saw several therapists.

Maria's school skills were far below where they should've been for a 12 year old. She could barely read in Russian, and her math skills were several years behind. She knew nothing of Science or History.

When she had been home about a year, Susan took Maria to see her orphanage friend, who lived in another city about 8 hours drive away. The two girls played happily. When it was time for them to part, Maria [who had been doing pretty well behaviorally] started screaming and clutched her friend. "DON'T LEAVE ME!" she screamed piteously, crying. Susan had to physically pull Maria away because she tried to throw herself on top of the car. It was heartbreaking for all involved.

Years went by. Maria was homeschooled with tutors, then went to a private school. Susan sacrificed a lot to give Maria the extra help she needed academically, and the therapy she needed emotionally.

Maria got better.

She tested Susan over and over - stealing, lying, hoarding food.

But Susan persevered, and loved Maria, and got them through it. Strong faith in God helped.

Now Maria is a beautiful college student, and today she celebrates her birthday. You see, her real birthday was unknown. There was no birth registration found when the authorities put her in the orphanage. So they gave her February 14th as a birthday, Valentine's Day.

It's so appropriate that she celebrates her birthday today, because Maria is a living testament to the power of a mother's love and faith.

Happy Birthday!

Rain Rant and More

I'm going to do a mini rant today because it's Wednesday and I'm grumpy and I am sick of rain...

I know everyone up north is sick and tired of snow, but after two days of constant, pouring rain, I am ready to scream. Rain rain go away / come again another day! - that's the chant Mother taught me as a child. It's entirely inadequate for the depth of my rain hatred right now...

OK, that's the end of the weather complaints. It's supposed to slack off today, and turn cold.

I saw where, according to the Christian Science Monitor a man in New York got 7 years in prison for illegal possession of a firearm. He was jumping a turnstile to skip the subway fare. That sentence is insane. Of course, if he had had a really large soda, Bloomberg probably would've given him the death penalty.

I saw the photo below on Facebook and was totally puzzled for a minute, then I realized the joke.

 

The photo aims to point out Dianne Feinstein's bizarre and wrongheaded notions of banning assault rifles, concentrating on the fact that they look scary. Michael looked at the photo and immediately understood what it implies. Took me a minute. He's a sharp boy.

I was absolutely stunned that some liberals are saying Dr. Carson's speech at the National Prayer Breakfast was "offensive." Really? So Obama sitting there fiddling with his iPhone and not even listening to the speech wasn't offensive?! The CNN Panel was filled with bias. It amazes me anyone watches them any more.

Words of Wisdom from a Stranger

We had a pretty quiet day yesterday. I helped a friend with a project yesterday afternoon, and Michael had a friend over.

By late afternoon it was pouring rain. I got home and Mother said she needed some things at CVS. So Michael and I headed over there.

I was thinking they closed at 6, and when I walked in I asked the young black man at the front, and he said nope, they were open until 10. The pharmacy closed at 6. I got the things Mother needed and we headed up to the cash register. There were no folks in the store.

I was thinking of running Michael over to Sports Authority to get a new shock absorber for his tennis raquet, but I hated going all the way over there in the rain and the dark, if his match wasn't going forward. Michael and I talked about it for a moment.

I finally asked the young man, "You don't happen to know what the weather forecast is for tomorrow, do you?"I figured if it was going to be raining all day, the tennis match would likely cancel and therefore it was not urgent that we go to Sports Authority right then.

He whipped out his phone and started pressing buttons and in a moment he told us the forecast for the entire week.

"Thanks, wow, great service!" I said, chuckling. "We are just trying to figure out if he has a tennis match tomorrow," I said, unloading the buggy.

As he rang up the purchases, the young man talked to Michael. "So you play tennis? Who do you play for?" he said.

They chatted for a moment. I swiped my debit card. Michael took the bags to carry to the car for us. As we got ready to leave, the young man looked intently at Michael.

"I want to tell you something, man. I come from the meanest streets in the world, Chicago. I grew up in poverty and violence you can't imagine. You need to take advantage of every opportunity you have, in education and job-wise. You go to school. You use that tennis ability. You take care of your mother."

I was so touched. "Wow, I wish you could come speak to some of the kids at his high school, tell them to stay in school," I said.

He nodded, very serious. "I know I look younger, but I am 26 years old. I wish somebody had talked to me when I was his age and told me these things."

He looked at Michael. "You take advantage of every opportunity. Don't be like me."

Michael and I thanked him and we walked out to the car. We sat there for a few minutes and talked before heading home.

"You know why he said that to you?" I asked Michael. He shrugged. "Because he is probably making less than $10 an hour, and it's hard to live on that," I said. "That's why school is important."

Michael was quiet and thoughtful on the way home.

Bless that young man.

Spicy Chicken and Tennis

Yesterday was a beautiful day here, and I felt guilty about it all day. It just seems bizarre that we enjoyed lovely weather and I was looking at photos on Facebook from friends up north with 2 feet of snow outside the door.

Wacky weather indeed.High today will be 60, with a chance of showers.

Michael needed to practice his serve, so we loaded up some tennis balls and went to the courts. My job was just to send the balls back to him so he could serve, but when I hit them he kept hitting them back. So I was able to haul my big butt around a little and volley. A LITTLE BIT. I spent most of the time walking around the courts picking up balls. That's OK. Got me outside and I got a little exercise. My right arm is sure sore though.

I was just happy to be able to hit the ball at all. Last time I played tennis was about 25 years ago when I was in grad school.I was on a date, and I beat the guy, and we broke up shortly afterwards. I never subscribed to the "act ladylike" school of sports.

I had put dinner in the crockpot yesterday morning. I loaded in some chicken filets, a can of black beans, a can of pinto beans, 2 cans of Ro-tel, and some onion. Didn't realize that one can of Hot Ro-tel would make the entire dish SPICY. Like, even Michael said "It's pretty spicy, Mom. Uncle Bruce would like this."

I put big dollops of guacamole and sour cream in my bowl and it was still spicy. Cleared my sinuses. I kept sniffing. Then Michael started sniffing, imitating me. Then Mother [who was eating a different meal] started sniffing. They both laughed at me sitting there sniffing, sweat on my forehead.

Hey, when I meal makes you sweat it's a win-win right?!

We watched one of our favorite family movies last night, Hopscotch, with Walter Matthau. As soon as Michael saw his face he hollered "The grumpy old man!" and grinned. 

This is the basic plot: "A CIA agent tired of his incompetent colleagues retires and dares them to stop him from publishing an embarrassing book of memoirs."

If you are looking for an intelligent and gentle movie that will make you chuckle, get Hopscotch from Netflix.

I spent a good bit of time yesterday helping Michael with a project wherein he makes a booklet of snack recipes for kids. I thought it would be hard to do but it wasn't, just time-consuming.

This is a recipe I might actually try making, I thought it sounded so good, but I would likely add some honey for sweetness:

Zucchini Muffins

Into a large bowl mix:

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 2 tsp. baking soda
• 2 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/8 tsp. nutmeg
• 1/8 tsp. ginger
• 1/8 tsp. allspice
• 1/2 tsp. salt

Stir in: 2 cups grated zucchini, 1 apple peeled, cored and grated

In another bowl, beat: 3 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, 1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce, 1/2 cup oil (vegetable or canola)

Stir into flour mixture until batter is just combined. Spoon into well greased muffin cups, filling to the top. (Note: If you are using muffin liners you may need to spray with cooking spray to prevent the muffins from sticking to the paper.) Bake at 350° for 20 minutes.

Dr. Ben Carson, My New Hero

Mother has been fascinated by politics for her entire life. She watches the news every day and reads the newspaper [online now] and is much better informed than probably 90% of the people in the world.

So yesterday, she sent me an email about a speech given at the National Prayer Breakfast and I just thought to myself, I will ask her about it later.I have now listened to the entire speech and she is right, this guy is amazing. We all need to pay attention to his words.

Conservative Ben Carson speech upstages Obama at prayer breakfast is an article everyone should read.I am sorry they used the word "conservative" because I think most non-conservatives would agree with most of his speech, if not all of it.

Dr. Ben Carson was born in poverty, to an illiterate 13 year old mother, and has risen in life to become a world-famous pediatric neurosurgeon. He is a VERY bright guy.

His mother was one of 24 children and married at 13. She had a third grade education and had to work as a maid. However, she wanted better for her children. "I had a mother who would never allow herself to be a victim," he explained.

He says in his speech [you can watch it here] so many things that are SO true and right.

"If you don't accept excuses pretty soon people stop giving them and start looking for solutions." Wise words from his mom. She made her kids turn off the TV and read books, and give her book reports every week. She took a lot of criticism for it but she didn't care.

He hates political correctness and he calls it "a horrible thing." Amen! This country was founded on freedom of thought and freedom of expression, and the PC police try to squelch that. He said "We need to start TALKING about things."

"Here's the thing about lawyers. What do lawyers learn in law school? To win. By hook or crook... We need to start thinking about how do we solve problems?!"

He is very passionate about education. 30% of people who enter high school do not graduate. 44% of people do not finish college.

Our system of government is designed for an informed populace, and education is so important.

He and his wife started a scholarship fund 16 years ago. "We need smart people who care about other people." His scholarships are about service, not just grades. He argues we place too much emphasis on rewarding sports and not enough emphasis on education.

Here is some General Information on Carson Scholars Fund. If you have children in high school, I urge you to read it very carefully.

Moral decay and fiscal irresponsibility destroyed ancient Rome. We are on the same path. "All we need to do is remember what our real responsibilities are so we can solve the problems. My role model was Jesus and he used parables to help people understand things."

He talked about how we need to fix the national debt of 16 trillion dollars.

He criticizes our ridiculously complex tax system. "God came up with the best system, called tithe." I SO agree with this! He said, people hide money in the Cayman's and that money needs to be here, building infrastructure. [At that point Obama started really looking uncomfortable.]

"We need to have good healthcare for everybody. Money means nothing when you don't have your health."

His solution: "When a person is born give them a birth certificate, an electronic medical record, and a health savings account to which money can be contributed, pre-tax from the time you are born to the time you die, and it can be passed on."

He says indigent people should have Health Savings Account with money they can control. Of course, it's a bit more complicated than that, but his basic ideas make a lot of sense. He is saying we need a better system than what we have now, but it's clearly not Obamacare.

This man is SO brilliant. I wish he had run for president last fall. I would've voted for him with enthusiasm.

An Important Day

I just looked at the calendar and realized it's February 8th. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! It's also the 20th anniversary of my first day at work in Atlanta.

On February 8, 1957, my mother and farther were married here in Atlanta, at the old First Baptist Church. My mother was a teacher, and she invited all the children in her wedding to come to the wedding because she knew she'd never fill that huge church.

Dad had proposed on Christmas Day, 1956, and told her he wanted a "big wedding" - in 2 weeks. Mom negotiated 6 weeks. She wore a borrowed dress.

Dad was working for one of his cousins who owned a chain of grocery stores call Big Apple. Dad was in charge of the accounting for all the stores. He lived with his aunt while he was in town in 1956 courting Mom.

This is my favorite photo of my parents. Doesn't Mom look like Ingrid Bergman??

My grandfather was not too sure about the wisdom of Mom marrying "one of those wild Thompson boys." Dad was not a quiet, unassuming guy. Papa kept saying to Mother "You don't have to marry this guy. You can back out any time." He didn't want to walk her down the aisle, and so Mom's brother Bobby was on standby in case Papa wouldn't do it.

Mom and Dad were married for almost 40 years, until he died in 1996.

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When I finished paralegal school in 1985, I wanted to stay here in Atlanta, but I couldn't find a job. So I reluctantly went home to Knoxville and got a job with a firm in Dad's bank building. Took me 8 years to finally find a job down here.

I started that job on February 8, 1993.

Nothing could have prepared me for the differences in being a paralegal in Knoxville and being one here. Atlanta may seem like a provincial backwater to folks who have never been here, but it's actually a sprawling, huge city, with traffic that rivals LA's. There are 3 counties in the main metro area, and about 5 more scattered around beyond that.

I got my first apartment here and was amazed to live in a "gated" community that had separate recycling containers for everything.

The practice of law is really different here.

In Knoxville, I watched a lawyer get on the phone with a judge's secretary and complain because he had gotten a notice of trial. "You tell him I've got a fishing trip planned for that week, and I just can't try a case that week if I'm fishing, right?" he drawled. The case came off the calendar.

I get to Atlanta, and lawyers are routinely put on trial calendars along with 100 other cases, 98 of which will settle the day before, and then suddenly you have to be ready to try the case. You could ask for a special setting but it often was not granted.

It was like going from playing pee wee football to playing in the Superbowl.

I learned a lot though.

Maybe today will be significant again, if I'm lucky. We shall see...