The most fun aspect of blogging for attorneys is the research. I get to read wacky stories all the time.I usually don't blog about them, but sometimes I can. [Exhibit A: Teacher Files Suit Claiming Fear of Children]
Here's a headline I saw this morning: WA court issues ruling in spit lawsuit by deputy. The article in the Seattle Times says "The state supreme court ruled Thursday in the case of a deputy who says he found spit in his Whopper that state law allows compensation of consumers who suffered emotionally because of a product failure."
Wow. Somebody actually spit in the poor man's food.
The deputy, named Edward Bylsma [he must have had a tough childhood with that name] "sued Burger King in federal court claiming an employee with a criminal record ruined his late-night snack by spitting a "slimy, clear and white phlegm glob" into his burger."
Now, I know my vegetarian friends are cringing in horror just at the word "Whopper" because they think eating dead cow is really more horrifying than some spit, but hey, some of us were raised on Burger King and we like us a good flame-broiled piece of dead cow.
Anyway, I digressed. I was thinking as I read the story the Washington State Supreme Court was thinking about spit in a Whopper. Wow.
No spit. [sorry, couldn't resist]
When I was a kid my brother liked to sometimes distract me and steal food off of my plate at mealtimes. I liked to glare at him and hiss "Don't you DARE touch those french fries. I SPIT on them!"
Of course if my mother heard me say that she gave me the Death Ray Stare. She could stare at me and turn my hair gray before I was 10 years old. If she was really mad, she would shake a finger at me. I know you're thinking "shake a finger"?! Big deal.
It IS a big deal. She has the world's strongest fingernails, due to a weird calcium/potassium imbalance in her body. She could probably stab someone with those fingernails and be charged with assault with a deadly weapon. Two, if the finger started pointing and shaking, that meant the next words out of her mouth were going to be something along the lines of
"GET UP AND GO CUT ME A LITTLE SWITCH!"
or, when we were older and didn't get spanked any more
"GO TO YOUR ROOM!"
I know, the room doesn't sound so bad, but I couldn't take my french fries with me in there.
Anyway, I feel sorry for the poor deputy. Imagine going through life with that weird last name and then having some evil guy spit in your food.
But it gets better.
The guy who supposedly did the spitting was named Gary Herb!
"DNA testing showed employee Gary Herb to be the source of the sputum."
He went to jail on an assault charge. Bet you he is one tough man, with a name like Herb. I wonter if he would ever father a male child and name him Herbert?! Poor kid, with a name like Herb Herb he would either have to become a chef or a pot grower, right?!
Herb Herb's Herb Garden
I could write a terrific blog for that guy.
[I was trying to find a photo of Mother digging in her herb garden at some point but such a thing doesn't exist so I just used this one which is sort of ext to a raisd garden she tended for years. You can laugh at my 80's hair.]
