Well, it was a morning of Ladies Plumbing Issues, and I was not a happy camper. I will try to be circumspect and spare you the gory details and just say "female issues."
Guys, you may want to stop reading now -
although I'm not going to be explicit about the yucko morning I had. Not much.
I have had a pretty easy time with menopause, mainly because I've been able to take Royal Maca Root. I learned today that I have a condition now called endometrial hyperplasia.
Try saying that four times fast.
I will say this. The ER folks at Northside Hospital are the best. Very efficient, and kind. I was shown to a room within 5 minutes, and fairly comfy all morning while they ran tests.There were yucko moments but I won't go there. Not publicly. If you saw the movie "Carrie".....
no, won't go there. Never mind that.
My friend Kristy is a doll - how many folks are there that can be called to take a friend to the ER at 7:30 a.m. and they come right away?! And I sat on a beach towel the whole way over to the hospital.
Sorry if that's too yucky...
My mother jumped up and made Michael his breakfast. My friend Steve took Michael to school.If left to his own devices he would've eaten popcorn or half a piece of toast.
Thanks be to God for a good support system.
When the ER doctor came in - and BTW, he was a hottie. WOW. Looked like a young Peter Scolari -
- we were chatting and I mentioned my son. A minute later he said "So how many times have you given birth?"
I said "None." He looked startled. I briefly thought about mentioning pod people or sea monkeys or something really wacky, but in the end I just said "My kids are adopted."
Yes, I was trying to prolong the conversation so I could just look at him. I'll admit it. [I ALWAYS had a crush on Peter Scolari. What a hunk.]
Dr. Cutie Pie started listening to my heart and got a vaguely horrified look on his face. He whipped off his stethoscope and regarded me. "You have a small heart murmur," he said. "Yep, I know," was my reply. "No biggie." [My mom and uncles have this too] I was tempted to say "I DIDN'T have it until you came right over here and stood next to me, Dr. CUTIE PIE!!
but I restrained myself.
He had on a wedding ring.
He was super nice but not a jokey kinda guy. I tend to make a lot of jokes when I am nervous.
Then I had an untrasound. It was NOT FUN. I won't go into details. It was invasive, OK?! They were looking at the plumbing from the INSIDE. ICK.
Thank goodness the ultrasound tech was about my age and had big hair.
Ladies with Big Hair are very comforting to me.
I have no idea why.
Probably stems from early memories of my mother and the 1960's bouffant she wore.
Later, when Dr. Cutie Pie came in and started explaining my medical issues I made him pause for a moment while I got a pen and paper, and I wrote down every multi-syllable medical term he said.
He looked surprised. I just knew I wouldn't remember things like "uterine ablation." I explained that I was a personal injury paralegal for many years and I like to Google things and figure them out. I find medical stuff fascinating. Scary, too, when it's about ME, but definitely fascinating...
I didn't mention that I have a particular fascination for Medical Malpractice. Doctors tend to cringe when they hear that word, particularly young ones.
I was home before 1:00.
The rest of the day has been uneventful. No gory details to spare you from.
I have an appointment Friday with the Ladies Plumbing Repair Doctor [OBGYN].
Finally, I wanted to end with something funny. This is Mike Myers introducing Sean Connery. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with ladies plumbing issues. BUT it's Very amusing...
