You might not think of swimming and tennis as necessarily spiritual activities, but for me they are. I always pray when I swim. Yesterday afternoon, I sat and prayed for Michael to win his tennis match.
As I told my friend Melanie later, when Michael loses a match his normal sweet nature goes away and he morphs into a really sullen, grumpy teen. She has one that does that too.
We talked about college choices for her daughter. As we talked, I thought sadly of my own daughter who has dropped out of high school and won't even discuss college. Alesia has said she was studying for her GED but I have no proof of that, since I haven't seen her on more than two years.
My birthday is next week, and I have no doubt I won't get a call, or a card, or any acknowledgement from my daughter that it's my birthday. It's July 4th, too - not exactly a tough date to remember. I just have to remind myself that she is so burdened by issues from her past that being thoughtful of others is not in her makeup right now, and let it go.
During my swimming/praying session she is always at the top of my prayer list. I usually just ask God to protect her and guide her to better life choices. I don't know what else to do.
My friend Cindy, who is such a huge influence and inspiration on me, has seen some of her adopted children taken away in handcuffs, but after some months or years they have managed to turn themselves around.
I wrote a poem about Alesia a few years ago, after she started singing a lot more around the house, teaching herself to sing on-key. She had never wanted me to teach her, but eventually she got it on her own. That's sort of a metaphor for our entire relationship. She never wanted me to teach her anything - from tying a bow, to roller skating, to writing - because she wanted to do it all herself. Never having experienced loving teaching for the first 13 years of her life, after that she just totally rejected it.
I am accustomed to a close, loving family.Trying to accept that my only daughter may remain a distant figure on the periphery of my life is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, a really sad life lesson.
Heavy sigh. On to other things...
What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. -Stephen King
I have read some of Stephen King's books, but I don't care for the genre of horror-type books. Psychological thrillers, yes. I remember reading Gerald's Game years ago and being unable to put it down an go to sleep at night. I also liked Delores Claiborne a lot.
The book group I recently joined is reading 11/22/63. I bought it used, thinking I would try to read it but not too enthusiastic about it. I am finding it is occupying space in my brain in a way that only a book by Stephen King can. He has the most amazing ability to insert details into a book without being obvious about it, and that ability transforms the reading experience into something akin to living vicariously through the main character. Very few writers have that ability.
EVen though the book has over 1,000 pages, it's hard to put down. Definitely should've bought it on Kindle, though...
This is a really droll interview with King, from the Craig Ferguson show. I wish I could stay up and watch Craig, but it doesn't really matter, I've seen him on youTube many times...
