It’s the 28th of July, ten days past the surgery.
I have reluctantly had to accept the fact that although I am feeling much better, I am still recuperating, and I hate that. I want to be 100% NOW.
Yes, as dear old Dad used to say “Dee’s motto is: I’d rather DO IT MYSELF!”
Unfortunately, I can’t totally heal by myself. The incision scar just above my bellybutton is requiring a lot of my attention. If I bend at the waist, for any reason, it leaks. I hate that.
Yesterday was a good day, until late in the afternoon. Michael and I met my friend Dana and saw Red 2, the early matinee. (Entertaining movie, but a bit long.) When we got home, I realized I needed to water my garden and pot plants on the back patio. Rain was forecast but it didn’t look like it would happen. Michael was sitting on the couch watching TV. Not in a great mood. I didn’t want to ask him to help me. So I went outside and bent over to pick up the hose.
My bellybutton incision, which had stopped leaking, started up again.
You may think, why is that a big deal, Dee? Well, because my surgeon told me to keep the problem incision area clean and open to the air. Clean is easy. The second part is not. It involves me going around with my shirt tucked up under my boobs and my pants pulled down like a sagging teenager, and my gross white scar-covered belly shining out. I wasn’t meant for the bare belly look at 20, much less at 51.
UGH.
So that’s on the List of Depressing Things I am Trying Not To Think About.
What list? Well, it’s in my head.
It’s a short but powerful list, all these things I need to do:
- Heal my incisions.
- Build up my writing business more
- Pay the medical bills (because my crappy insurance doesn’t pay them all)
- Eat well, and not eat processed food or sugar (I have fallen off the wagon since I got out of the hospital)
- Exercise every day
Why am I trying not to think about them? Well I am trying to recuperate. The main thought that needs to be in my head is that I need to not bend over from the waist. Oh, and not bump my belly. Try washing dishes or brushing your teeth without your belly touching the counter. It’s not easy.
So I have decided that my goal for this week is to simply not bend over. This will not be easy.
I bend over all day. I feed Coco by bending over and picking up her plate and putting turkey on it, then bend down again to put the plate on the floor. I bend down to put water in her dish. I bend down to clean up little messes on the floor. I bend down to load and unload the dishwasher. I bend down to take clothes from the washer and put them in the dryer. I bend down to take clothes out of the dryer. I bend down to get stuff out of the drawers in the fridge. Etc.
I have reluctantly come to the conclusion that for the next few days, when I need to bend over, I am going to have to get Michael to do it for me. I hate that.
It's going to require patience. I am not the most patient person. I also hate not being fully independent.
Clearly, the Lord is trying to teach me a lesson.
me and brother, about 1963 - I wanted to sit in the big chair and run the show, even then...
