Michael is getting his driver's license tomorrow [hopefully!] and so we spent some time today talking about basic map skills. He is a good driver and a smart guy. He doesn't like to pay a lot of attention to street names, however.
So I asked him some basic questions about living here in Atlanta, and where we are, and I was alarmed by his answers.
"So what is the name of the interstate that encircles Atlanta, also known as the perimeter?"
"Um.... 85?" he replied.
"Nope. It's I-285."
"If you are on I-285 and you are headed north and you want to get home, what is the name of the exit you take?"
He had no clue.
So I drew a basic basic map of the Atlanta interstates and went over all the main interstates with him. I was thinking of the time his sister was missing a couple of hours because she had given a friend a ride home from school. She got lost, and ended up driving all over Atlanta and using an entire tank of gas. She had flatly refused to study a map of Atlanta and I let her get away with it. I had no GPS to give her.
He kept saying "But what about the GPS?" or "What about Google maps?"
"What if the GPS isn't working, like when we went to the beach last year? What if you are driving on the interstate and you can't pull over and use Google?!?" I countered."Pull over and ask?" he replied. Nope. "What if there is no place to pull over, no humans around for miles?!?" ACK.
I was 18 or 19 before I even started trying to use a map, but basic map skills are important. Electronic devices don't always work.
So it occurred to me that a good blog topic is Life Skills for Teenagers. Even smart, aware, good kids don't always know basic life skills when they graduate from high school.
Michael is 17, and should be about a junior or senior but he's only a sophomore. He still has time to learn a lot of this stuff. My work as a parent is far from over.
I went to the University of Georgia and there were SO MANY girls in my dorm who had never washed one item of clothing in their entire lives. (I had been doing my own laundry for years.) There were girls who would go on crazy, dangerous diets because they had no basic nutrition knowledge. They would go out walking around campus at 2 a.m. alone because nobody had taught them anything about personal safety.
We think because we give little mini-lectures now and then, or mention things like "It will be a whole lot different when YOU are paying your OWN bills" that the teenager will automatically know what they need to know when they turn 18 and go off to college. They won't, necessarily.
They have to be taught.
And you have to get them to learn, which can be really tricky.
A computer is a great thing. It can't teach you how to balance your checkbook or scramble an egg, or check your tire. [Yes yes yes I know about videos but you only really learn by DOING...]
Parents are busy. Parents get tired of the teenged sigh, the eye roll, the "whatever," the basic attitude of teenagers. I totally.totally.REALLY get that.
And yet, the teenagers NEED to know so many things.
I remember trying to manage my first bank account at age 18, and calling my dad long distance to balance my checkbook over the phone for me, and crying. And I was the child of a BANKER.
So I made a list of things that I think you need to teach your teenager, here in one handy dandy bullet list. Just in case there are some you hadn't thought of. This is a public service.
If you read the list and go "Wow, Dee totally forgot the importance of ___________." then leave me a comment or shoot me an email. I truly want to help parents. Heck, if I could figure out a way to give seminars on this stuff I might have a whole new career...
- Food: how to read a nutrition label, basic cooking, savvy grocery shopping
- Laundry: what to wash, what to hand wash, what to dry clean
- Map skills: know your exit, how to give directions to school, the grocery store, etc.
- Basic money management: how to make a budget and stick to it, the importance of saving money, how to be a smart consumer
- Car Maintenance: when to get it serviced, how to find a good mechanic, how to file an insurance claim if you are in an accident
- Research skills: Don't assume Google or Facebook or YouTube are the best sources of information on anything. Learn how to find the credible information.
- House Skills: how to find an apartment, how to find a house, basic maintenance
- Safety: basic cautionary skills like not walking around at night alone, not fiddling with a phone or electronic device in public and being unaware of your surroundings (women especially need to know these things)
- Your community: registering to vote, the importance of knowing your neighbors and being there when they need help, and of contributing to your community, not just taking from it (so, if someone next door has imprisoned young women you notice that, and call the police)
- Personal Presentation: the importance of good grooming and good manners, how to handle a job interview
the snack table at one of Mike's tennis matches - food choices are SO important...
