Lots going on here and most of it I can't blog about. Suffice to say, my daughter and I are having issues. Nothing really new, just painful ground that I can't really discuss. Parenting doesn't end when someone turns 18, or when they move out. It just gets more complicated.
I will say this: parenting a child adopted at 13, who spoke no English, has been a huge challenge. HUGE. There were no parenting classes available for someone in my situation. There were almost no books or blogs. I've made mistakes, despite my best efforts. Yet, I wouldn't time travel and un-do anything.
Alesia said yesterday my blog makes her uncomfortable. OK. So, I have gone back and un-published some blog posts and will continue to do so.
When I adopted her, I made it clear from the beginning that I wanted to blog honestly about the experience of raising an older child, to encourage people to adopt older children. Too many parents don't write publicly, with honesty, and other parents need support. I have showed her blogs, and told her it's fine for her to read them. I've always been open with her about all of my writing.
Alesia has never before expressed any discomfort with anything I wrote.
However, since she doesn't want me writing about her as an adult, I am respecting her wishes and deleting a lot of blog posts about her.
I expect most of my blogs in the coming years will re-focus on my life, and shift away from my children, except in the most general way. And that's OK. That's as it should be.
However, if other adoptive parents need or want advice, I want to be there for them. I can always be reached by email. [see right column]
When I was about 18-25 my relationship with my mother went through shifts. We both had to make adjustments. I used to get annoyed sometimes when I heard her on the phone with someone talking about me. I think that's normal. The good thing is that we have always been close, and I cherish that relationship.
I still have hope that one day my daughter will be able to see that no matter what differences we may have, I love her wholeheartedly and I only want her to be happy.
