I am very lucky to be descended from some very beautiful and strong women, ladies who have faced far worse hardships and heartbreak than I've ever known. I wanted to share a little bit of their stories.
How did they endure so much? I often wonder about that. None of them went mad, or used drugs, or abandoned their families - although I'm sure at times they wanted to. They endured. They had faith. They made the best of things.
Sometimes when I get down and feel sorry for myself I think, I can get through anything.. I come from some strong women. Their legacy to me is so valuable, and so beautiful. They didn't give up. I won't either. I will figure out a way, with the Lord's help.
This lovely lady is Charlotte Wood, the mother of my great grandfather, Robert Edward Butler. I don't know much about her, but I know he came from a pretty well to do family. Yet, Charlotte looks like she's had some trials in her life. She lived through reconstruction, and in the south that was a terrible time, whether you had money or not.
Above, the Phillips sisters of Acworth, Granny Butler's family. I'm not sure who all is pictured here. There is controversy over the identity of the lady with the wild hair who is laughing. What difference does it make?! She looks joyful.
This is my grandmother Wilma Butler and her siblings, sometime around 1905. The little girl on the floor on the far right is Mamaw. There were 3 more children after these. Granny Butler was a strong lady - she had 12 children who lived to adulthood and several more who didn't.
Mom has told me many times, despite that fact that Grandaddy Butler had money, when you have that many kids, everybody in the household works. Everybody has to help in the house. Clothes had to be ironed. There were no convenience foods, either. No shortcuts. Everybody helped in the kitchen. The girls helped sew. The boys learned from their father.
Granny had a lot of kids and a husband who didn't help her at all. He actually didn't even like children.
Granny was always strong. Mom told me just the other day that when she was in high school, she was often told to accompany Granny to downtown Atlanta on the streetcar, when she wanted to shop. Nobody else in the family could keep up with her. She was 5'8 and could out-walk all the women in the family except my mother [who is about 5'4].When Mom was in high school, Granny would've been in her 70's.
Below, Granny and two of her grandsons.
Above, my dad's mother, Cordelia Henderson Thompson. She was one of 12 children. I don't know as much about her family because she died before I was born.
Cordelia was a tall lady, about 5'7, and in those days [1922] that was really tall. She was "an old maid schoolteacher" [Dad's words] when she married Algernon Thompson in 1923 at the ripe old age of 27 or thereabouts. Within 7 years she had three sons to raise and the Depression hit and suddenly nobody in the family had any money. She worked hard, helping Grandaddy in the little general store they ran. She didn't finish college. Her husband [my grandfather] was barely literate and had to quit school when his father died. He waited until he was in his 30's to marry because he was having to support his own mother and younger siblings.
Cordelia didn't marry money, and she didn't marry an educated man. Yet, she raised three sons who all finished college and two of them got master's degrees. Then she nursed my grandfather through emphysema and had to endure being really poor the last decade or so of her life.
She kept her sense of humor, though. When Mom knew her, they often played Scrabble, and once when she couldn't do anything else, Cordelia used the word "Shit" - which was, she said, in the dictionary. It was such a shock to my mom, because Cordelia was very upright, went to church every Sunday, didn't drink or smoke, etc. She liked to win at Scrabble though. I totally get that. [I play online Scrabble and I usually have about a dozen games going at any one time.]
above, family reunion of the Hendersons, mid 1950's, Cordelia in the black dress
One day I plan to tell my grandchildren, even though you aren't biologically connected to these ladies, they have had a big influence on your life. Their strength and courage came down to me, and I was determined to be a mama even if I had to go to the other side of the world to do it.
When you truly feel called to do something, do it. Don't let anyone stop you.God put my children into my arms because they were meant to be there. I know this.
My little family was built from Love, Prayer, and sheer Determination. If I can pass along those qualities I will consider it a great day.
Happy Mother's Day! [and a few more photos]
Wilma Butler Hasty and Bob Hasty
Mamaw, Papa, Mother and my uncles, early 1950's
me, Bruce and Mom, around 2001
