Ever have a day when you don't feel so hot and everything seems to be weighing you down? I had that kind of day yesterday.
There was nothing particularly wrong -- well other than the ongoing concern about money -- but it wasn't a happy day.
Michael can be a snarling bucket of bile when he doesn't get enough sleep and/or doesn't eat enough. Right now the boy is never home for meals and when he does come in he wants peanut butter crackers and/or sugary stuff like cookies and brownies. I'm usually in bed asleep at midnight when he's eating dinner. He won't take a vitamin. So add malnourishment to the list.
And it's not like there's not healthy food available. There's a big bowl of green bean salad in the fridge -- which he loves and I made specially for him -- plus carrots, cucumbers - plenty of good stuff available. Normally he's good about eating veggies.
I have tried to explain how he is Jekyll/Hyde depending on if he's gotten enough sleep or food, but since he doesn't have to deal with himself he doesn't realize it.
So yesterday every word out of his mouth was putrid. Plus my sinuses were bothering me. And I was retaining water. And I had some indigestion.
And it was HOT. Winter? That was last week. I was loathe to turn on the air conditioner but the house was stuffy and even with windows open the circulation of air isn't great.
Towards the late afternoon, when I had just about had enough drama, I walked out the front door to take Lola on a short walk.
As I stepped out of the door I heard a whooshing of wings and I looked to my right. A beautiful, big red cardinal flew towards the porch and turned to fly right towards me, staring me down, then banked sharply to the right and flew away. It happened in just a second.
Now, I take cardinals as signs of hopefulness.
It felt like God was sending me a sign, saying "OK Dee, I know it's a sucko day, but hey, DON'T give up! Here's a reminder that things will be OK!"
Thanks, God. Thanks cardinal.
photo by Linda Hasty Harris
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