As a little girl, I loved to sit in the lap of someone who loved me. My maternal grandmother ("Mamaw") had a wonderful lap. She was soft and she always smelled nice, like Coty's L'Origon or Estee Lauder perfume. She loved to wear good costume jewelry, and I loved to sit in her lap and play with her jewelry.
When I was born, Mamaw was 63 years old. She was a tiny person, just 4'10, and not physically strong. She limped due to an old knee injury, and she had edema in her lower legs. I don't recall her ever picking me up, simply because she couldn't do it. However, she would sit on the sofa or in an easy chair and I would climb up to sit in her lap, or just sit close to her, snuggled in.
[below, Mamaw and Papaw, about 1963]
Despite her age and infirmities, Mamaw was always fun. I've played countless games of Chinese Checkers, checkers, and Old Maid with her. She was a formidable opponent in Monopoly. Only years later did I realize she sort of lived in a Monopoly game, growing up in Marietta Georgia. Her father owned many businesses in the town, from drug stores to car dealerships, a real estate firm, and a marble company.
above, Mamaw and some of her siblings - she is sitting on the floor, far right
Growing up with a dozen siblings taught Mamaw a lot. She learned to be feisty. She could drive a car at the age of 11, and since her father owned car dealerships and was a wealthy and prominent guy, nobody stopped her. She would sit propped up on cushions and steer while her sister Hazel worked the pedals.
Living through the Depression made her careful. She never threw away a button, and she re-used foil. She sewed beautifully and made all my dresses when I was small. When my parents were young marrieds and Mom needed a fancy dress to wear to a big party, Mamaw would make it for her.
My mamaw taught me about being industrious and organized. She always kept her living room "picked up" in case company came to call. I've seen her scurry around and straighten up quicker than a hiccup.
She had a large jewelry box and one way to keep me occupied as a small child was to sit me in the middle of Papaw's huge bed and hand me the jewelry box so I could "straighten it up."
above, Mamaw and three of her 6 sisters, Marcel, Dot, and Hazel
Mamaw liked to cook large meals for family, and she never got into a last-minute hassle. She would cook the entire meal right after lunch, then clap lids on the pots, turn the burners off, and go relax and read the newspaper. At 5:30 she would re-heat everything and set the table, and make sure there was plenty of sweet tea.
I didn't realize until I was grown that some people drink tea without sugar in it.
Mamaw always carried a large purse, and in that purse you would always find the following items: kleenex and/or a handkerchief, Chiclets chewing gum, a crossword puzzle book, her wallet, a comb, a lipstick, a pencil.
After my grandfather died, sometimes we would go on car trips with Mamaw tucked into the back seat between me and my brother. Her purse was a source of fascination, Chiclets were handed out. Mamaw believed everyone should "work" a crossword puzzle. She had a large and extensive vocabulary and she was a good speller. At one time, she worked as a proofreader for a newspaper, and forever afterwards when she saw a mistake in a newspaper she was beyond disgusted.
One of her favorite things to do was to smile and say to me sweetly, "Guess what we're going to do today?! We're going to CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOSET!" She would say that in the same tone of voice one might say you've won a million dollars! My look of horror never deterred her. The word "we" was misleading there. I would clean out the closet and she would sit in the room. When I was done, she would look at it critically and it would either pass muster or it wouldn't.
When I got it cleaned to her satisfaction we might go in the kitchen and reward ourselves by making Jello salad.
My mom and I were lamenting the other day the fact that nobody makes jello salad any more. I rarely ate a meal at Mamaw's house that didn't include jello salad. Often she would mix in a can of fruit cocktail or mandarin oranges. Making jello salad taught us patience. You had to mix in the boiling water and jello powder, and whatever fruit you were using, and then let it set in the fridge for a while.
I liked to sit in the kitchen and watch Mamaw cook. She was a wonderful cook, but she was old school. She never used garlic, and very little onion. Salt and pepper were her "spices." The closest she came to any non-American food was to open a can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti. I never saw her cook a piece of fish in my life.
Fried chicken was always cooked in an electric skillet, in Crisco, but first it was well salted and put into a paper bag of flour, piece by piece, and I got to shake the bag so each piece was perfectly coated.
Nobody's fried chicken ever came close to hers.
Mamaw always wore dresses, and she put on an apron before cooking. Remember aprons?!
Vegetables were boiled until they turned very soft.
Mother told me recently that when she was a kid and they lived on a farm during World War II that Papaw usually came home for lunch, and he'd pick a bunch of broccoli before he came in. Mamaw would proceed to wash that broccoli and cook it in the pressure cooker until it was mush.
I can guarantee you this: if Mamaw had ever gone into a restaurant and been served crunchy vegetables she would have sent them back to the kitchen.
Rarely does a day go by that Mamaw isn't mentioned in our house now. I wish Michael could have known her. Like the rest of us, he would have adored her.
left to right, my cousins Bill and Linda, Mamaw, me and Bruce -- I was only 12 here and I was already taller than Mamaw
