I woke up and checked Facebook and one of my cousins posted this story: UGA's Elijah Holyfield arrested on drug charges in Athens. I didn't even know a Holyfield was playing for UGA.
Now, since it's his first offense [hopefully] he should get off pretty lightly, legally. How the football coach deals with it I don't know. I doubt that even casual marijuana use would be good for an athlete's health.
This is disturbing to me for a couple of very personal reasons that have nothing to do with football.
I should say, first of all, that boxing champion Evander Holyfield lives in Atlanta. I saw him once, years ago, [around 2001] when I was eating lunch at Houston's, a popular local restaurant. I got up to go to the restroom and passed him, walking. He is much smaller in person than what you see on TV. The website says he is 6'2 but he didn't seem that tall. However, he has an incredibly powerful presence. He was sitting at a really large round table with a lot of friends and they were obviously having a great time. Nobody was bothering them. We are pretty used to seeing celebs in Atlanta.
Nobody at the table with Holyfield was being loud or obnoxious. They were laughing and having a good time, though, and I just got the overall impression that Evander was a good guy with good folks around him. Evander is my age and also an Atlantan and I feel an affinity for him for those reasons, and because I have always loved the sport of boxing, since I started watching Muhammed Ali as a child.
A few years later I had another encounter, this one with his wife. I'm not sure which wife, to be honest, but it was round 2003-04.
When I knew I was going to adopt my daughter, I signed up to take Russian language classes at a small language school near my office. I went a couple of times a week, after work. I am good with languages [French and Italian] but Russian is wickedly difficult. I never really learned the alphabet, which is 36 letters and two sounds, unpronounceable to Americans I should add. I gave it my best effort. Finally my teacher, a young Russian woman, gave me a handout with a bunch of Russian "mommy" words and phrases, which was really helpful. I memorized all the phrases and muddled through that way until my daughter knew enough English. (Communication was very difficult for a while but that's not the subject of my blog today.)
Anyway, one evening when I went to class I noticed a very pretty black lady sitting in the reception area of the office with a cute little boy, about 3-4 years old. I don't remember how or why it came up in our class, but the teacher explained that the lady was the mother of the little boy and he was the child of Evander Holyfield.
The teacher said the mother demanded the child be taught, as I recall, about 4 languages, including Japanese and Russian. The teachers would sit with him, one on one, and try to just conversationally teach him. My teacher said to me privately that it was a huge waste of her time because the child had no interest in learning languages and a very short attention span. Well he was less than 5 years old. DUH.
I wonder if that child was Elijah. Quite possibly. The math works.
A quick Google search reveals Holyfield has 11 children with 6 different women. He was sued in 2012 for owing more than half a million dollars total in back child support. He had declared bankruptcy in 2008. His mansion was foreclosed on around the same time.
What happens when extraordinary athletes from impoverished backgrounds are suddenly catapulted to fame and fortune? This is what happens. They mis-manage their money. The become prey to women who just want to exploit them. They do not understand business and personal finance at all, and they often fall victim to substance abuse, too. Everyone wants a piece of them. That would be hugely difficult for anyone to handle, but add in a background that didn't prepare him for fame and fortune, and the pressures of having to stay on top as an athlete, and it's no wonder a professional athlete from a poor background often has a very messy life.
I read the comments on one of the news stories about Elijah this morning and was rather irritated. One commenter basically said "this kid has an easy life and will never have to work a single day why feel sorry for him." Passing judgment like that, without any knowledge of the facts, is just so hurtful and counter-productive. I think it's probably very difficult to be the son of a boxing champion with a very high profile like Evander Holyfield. If he was the child I encountered who was being forced to learn 4 new languages as a toddler, what does that say about how he was parented?
I have made a resolution recently to make a much bigger effort to stop judging other people and situations that don't involve me. I have often, in my younger years especially, been too quick to judge and to criticize, and it's a character flaw I still struggle with today.
Judging should be left to God. The bible says it clearly "Judge not, lest ye be judged."
Who are we to judge anyone?
My grandfather Bob Hasty was catapulted from the Army into minor league baseball in 1919 and then into the major leagues a year later. The first time he ever saw a major league baseball game, he was pitching in it. Nothing had prepared him for celebrity. Nothing had prepared him for trying to manage his career or his money. He took some of his earnings and bought a farm in North Georgia, and lost it during the Depression when his career in the majors was over. He was accused of a crime he didn't commit and lost his big league career because of it. He faced a lot of adversity and did his best in life, with mixed results, financially. He was still a wonderful man, respected and loved by his family, friends, and fans. He never turned down an autograph request. He was lucky to have a smart, good wife by his side. Athletes don't get to do what they love forever. Careers end, but life goes on. (I am just mentioning this because I know more than the average bear about the challenges faced by professional athletes.)
I said a prayer that young Elijah will be able to rebound from the arrest and chart a new, healthy course for his life. I'm sure his dad is worried about him. I also prayed for his dad, Evander. The handsome, confidant man I saw years ago doesn't deserve bad luck, any more than anyone else. A recent article says he is looking to be a promoter now. Good for him. I hope and pray that he has a successful life, and his son is able to have a successful life, on the playing field but also in his personal life.
Let's quit tearing people down, quit judging them, and just send prayers and positive energy. Let's remember the Golden Rule applies to everyone, and if we call ourselves Christians we are called to love one another, not judge one another.
