I try to avoid political discussions because they almost inevitably lead to hard feelings and resentment, and sometimes they end friendships, much to my sadness. I am fully capable of saying to someone "I don't agree with your point of view, but I respect your right to have a point of view and express it."
I've used the phrase "Let's agree to disagree" many times in the past year.
Unfortunately, certain of my friends have chosen to exit my life because they disagreed with my presidential choice. This makes me quite sad because they should be more mature. If we can't have civil discourse -- and recent violence makes me really wonder about that -- then we are heading into dangerous waters, as a nation.
I asked my brother not long ago what he thought about taking the Confederate flag down in Columbia, South Carolina, where he lives. My brother is a retired Army major who drives a truck, chews tobacco, and works for a company that sells guns and equipment to police departments. You might think there could be no more conservative guy on the planet.
You'd be wrong.
He answered immediately, "If the flag makes black people uncomfortable, then it should come down. Period."
I didn't argue with him. I feel the same. I look at the Confederate flag and see a historic artifact. What if it was the Nazi flag, though? I would shudder in horror because that flag represents a terrible time in history, and horrific crimes against humanity were committed by people committed to that philosophy. I can imagine, therefore, what a black person might feel, looking at the Confederate flag. I sympathize. Those flags should only be in museums.
I am totally in a quandary over the taking down of Confederate monuments, however.
On the one hand, one can make the same argument about the monument as one would about the flag - it represents a very painful time in history. It's a time long gone. As my friend Tom Lee writes in The Politics of Memory and Marble, which discusses the Alabama Memorial Preservation Act of 2017, "The new law prohibits relocation, removal, alteration, or renaming of any "monument located on public property and has been so situated for 40 or more years."
I am very uncomfortable with a state forcing its citizens to keep monuments that a lot of its citizens find profoundly disturbing.
However, I also think that monuments are about more. They are about history. They are about art.
For me, too, they are personal.
above, the Butler Marble Works, owned by my great-grandfather Robert Edward Butler
As my cousin Steve Butler wrote about the monument above: This Confederate Memorial is located in Forsyth, Georgia (Monroe County) and was contracted by the Butler Marble and Granite Company of Marietta for a cost of $3,000. The seven-foot soldier was cast by the American Bronze Foundry of Chicago. The memorial was unveiled on June 20, 1908.
I never met my great-grandfather. I love the fact that he was part of history, however. His company supplied the marble for monuments that were placed all over the south.
I have passed the one below many times and never knew that Grandaddy's company supplied the marble until Steve did some research. Steve: "Confederate memorial located in Decatur, Georgia, was created by the Butler Marble and Granite Co. in Marietta for a cost of $2,500. It is located in front of the old courthouse and was dedicated on Confederate Memorial Day, April 25, 1908. 2,000 people attended the dedication."
There is also a Confederate monument in Abbeville, South Carolina, made of Butler marble. Ironically, my paternal grandmother Cordelia Henderson Thompson was born in Abbeville and her family had lived there for generations before moving to Georgia in 1900.
I cannot say that all the Confederate monuments should be removed. I cannot say they should be left alone. The Historian in me is battling with the humanitarian. Perhaps there is a way to compromise. Perhaps the monuments should not be hidden or destroyed, but they should be located in or on the grounds of museums, because they are historical artifacts.
Regardless of where they are, the Confederacy lost the Civil War. No statue or flag will ever change that.
My ancestors fought in that war. I can celebrate the fact that they fought for their beliefs, even if I don't agree with those beliefs.
If I had lived back then I likely would have had the same prejudices they had. If they could have foreseen me and my friendships with people of all races and ethnicities, and foreseen my mixed-race children, they might be horrified.
It's easy to sit here in 2017 and pass judgment on people who lived a long time ago. Just remember, though, the door swings both ways. One day my great-great grandchildren may look back in horror at things I did or said.
Future generations may judge me harshly. I can live with that. I do want to state for the record, though, that I may never know the correct way to feel about Confederate monuments.
