Sometimes when I badly need a laugh I go on Craigslist and look in the FREE category. This category encompasses stuff that folks want to throw away but they want someone else to come pick it up. They don't want to bother hauling it to the dump or calling the county to come pick it up.
Example:
plastic pots
The ad says "please no emails." Who would email about the pots? What would they ask? "Do you have any lovely hot pink pots?!" "Will you put some plants in them for me?"
What I want to know is why someone is throwing out all their plastic pots. Did everything they tried to grow die? Did they become convinced the pots were politically incorrect? Are only ceramic pots fashionable nowadays? Perhaps these are just the old plastic pots and there are newer, more beautiful pots adorning this person's house. Who knows. I bet someone has already picked them up, though.
Then there's this toilet - I see toilets every time I look in the FREE section.
Notice the artistic play of light and shadow, and the artfully arranged foliage just to the left? I bet a New York City art gallery would pay a fortune just for this photo.
Years ago my brother decided to put a new toilet in his bathroom, so he put the old toilet out in the yard. He thought it would be very funny to sit out there, on the potty, and read the newspaper. He wasn't naked and his pants weren't down. He just thought the neighbors would find it amusing.
Needless to say, he and his wife were never invited to any neighborhood get-togethers...
the ad for the above toilet says Toilet (used) -- in case anyone was wondering if it was pristine or not. I wouldn't want to lift that lid..
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Here are some items listed on Craigslist but the ad posters didn't take photos. Wonder why?! I give my guess as to why the ad was posted.
Free glass beer bottles [somebody had a party and doesn't want to clean up the yard]
Free pigs [again, somebody had a party and doesn't want to clean up the yard]
Free place to dump your cut grass [someone is burying a body?!]
Free firewood [a dead tree fell in my yard and I don't feel like cutting it up and hauling it off]
Free kids and Queen size bed with rails and head board [I understand wanting to get rid of the old bed, but throwing in the kids is rather extreme]
Free Hermit crab [somebody thought this guy would make a great pet but they were mistaken]
Free Apple tree. You cut. Great for smoking! [but what if you're trying to stop smoking?!]
Free Two cubicle work stations near perimeter. [I'm guessing a couple of employees just got really fed up]
Free Bath tub. cast iron. [the "cast iron" explains why the owner wants YOU to pick it up]
Free Gerbil cage, accessories, exercise balls, and two female gerbils [the dream of breeding gerbils died when it was discovered both were females]
Free black GE fridge [for goths who need kitchen accessories]
Free place to dump dirt [I'm guessing the lady who posted this gave the address of her soon-to-be ex boyfriend]
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and finally, under the "can we be more obvious?!" category, this lovely chair and the brilliant caption:
Overstuffed Chair (needs reupholstering)
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A FINAL THOUGHT
I was in my garden yesterday and found what I consider a really funny-looking tomato. I have named it the Butt Mater. I see nothing wrong with laughing at vegetables.
