I have a young friend in England who is raising his son who has one hand, like my son Michael. We were Facebook chatting this morning and he told me something that makes me FURIOUS. He told me his 10 year old son is not allowed to go on school field trips because the school says he is "too high risk."
Ridiculous. If I had been told that my son couldn't go on a field trip simply because of his hand I would have been at that school that day, raising hell.
However, other places in the world are not as tolerant as Americans are about children who are differently abled, I'm sad to say. Bullying happens. Prejudice happens. Makes me furious.
Honey, if you have never been around a person missing an arm or a hand, let me school you.
A missing limb is NOT A HANDICAP. It's just not. Michael may do things a bit differently than a person with two hands, but he CAN DO ANYTHING.
I thought when I adopted Michael and brought him home he would never be able to play with a Gameboy or a Wii or an X-box or anything like that. Wrong. He has no trouble and is, in fact, a terrific gamer.
I didn't think he could put together Lego things. Wrong again. I got him Lego models and he typically put them together in less than 15 minutes. In fact, Legos bored him pretty quickly because they were so easy for him.
Here is a list of things I never thought Michael could do with no help [and no prosthetic] and he proved me wrong, right quick:
- tie his shoes
- clip his fingernails
- chop an onion [he does this as fast as I do]
- cut his meat at the dinner table
- ride a bicycle
- play the piano [he just does this for fun]
- cook
I didn't think he would be able to serve a tennis ball like everyone else. He mastered that skill in an hour. I didn't think he would be able to catch and throw a baseball, but he simply caught the ball, stuck the glove under his arm, and threw the ball -- and he learned to do that very quickly. He was one of the best hitters on his baseball team for the three years he played.
We really didn't think he would be able to get his lifeguard certification or Red Cross certification so he could be a lifeguard. Part of the test involved picking up a large brick off the pool bottom and swimming it up to the surface and over to the side of the pool. Michael practiced it and did it, first try. That was in 2014. He had only learned to swim in 2007 when he came home.
I didn't think he would be able to drive a moped but he does that quite easily, with no modifications. He drives a car easily too.
Below are some photos of Michael doing things people doubted he could do, and doing them WELL.
ADDENDUM: Perhaps I should explain something to those not knowing the entire story about Michael. When he was put in the orphanage at age 8, the good ladies who ran things realized quickly they had a very smart, very sweet little boy, who needed to get out of Kazakhstan. They campaigned for him to get listed on a website for special needs kids, hoping he would get adopted by an American. That's where I saw his photo. In Kazakhstan, he would be considered completely unemployable. It's very unlikely that any employer would hire him. He would get a very small payment from the government, like welfare, and written off. He likely would have become a petty criminal and spent a lot of time in jail. That was his likely fate, had he not been adopted.
When I went to visit him in the orphanage, the ladies all told me "He is a good boy. He can dress himself, feed himself, write." They had him embroidering things, as a sort of occupational therapy. Those ladies were angels because they saw his potential, and worked hard to get him adopted. I still have those lovely pieces of embroidery, BTW, although Michael has not done any of that since he has been here. He is teaching himself how to do tattoos and is quite skilled already, and an excellent artist.
What I have heard many times over the years, by friends, is that once you get to know Michael, the hand is not an issue. It's never thought about again, because he never asks for any special treatment. When he played tennis matches his opponents were always amazed at his talent.
below, whitewater rafting and skiing, when he was at Amputee Adventure Camp a few years ago
Michael waiting to bat for his baseball team
With two of his tennis buddies, waiting to play a match
Riding a bike around Hilton Head with his sister, 2010
Michael recently making himself some homemade cookies -- he likes to cook and can make terrific guacamole, omelets, crepes, cookies, etc.
So if you think a person with only one hand cannot do something, give them a chance to prove you wrong. I guarantee you they will do it.
