Exactly 22 years ago today my dad, Anthony Henderson Thompson, lost his battle with cancer and left us. I don't usually pay much attention to death anniversaries but I wanted to point out that he taught me so many things that are still critically important to my life today. Not a day goes by that I don't feel blessed to have had his wisdom and guidance.
Dad, me, Mom, Bruce's wife, Bruce, about 1991
WORK HARD
Dad was in some ways a workaholic. He got up at 6:30 every work day and usually left the house by 7 or 7:30. He usually didn't leave the bank until 5 or 6 p.m. or later. His work ethic was ferocious and he had no patience for anyone who didn't share it. The words "that's not my job" never left his lips and he didn't allow his employees to say those words. His attitude was that everyone needed to pitch in and do whatever was needed. He ran a trust department in the bank for 35 years and it usually made more money than the commercial department. He would often do things for his customers way outside his job purview -- like buy them a new TV set and put it in their house for them, which wasn't his job but it made the elderly lady customer very happy. He advised them about real estate. He took calls from customers after hours, nights and weekends and vacation times. He always made each customer feel important. His older female customers always adored him, and he was like a son to them.
PLAY HARD
Dad loved to play. Lots of folks didn't realize he played as hard as he worked. Whether he was building a go kart and racing up and down the street with all the kids in our neighborhood or hunting, fishing, boating, gardening, building model airplanes, or playing tennis or golf, he was always active. He always said his happiest times were at our cabin on Douglas Lake when I was a kid. There was no phone, and he could completely relax. [below, Dad at Douglas Lake, late 1970's]
TAKE CARE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Dad never hesitated to step in and help anyone in the family. When one of his brothers was travelling and ran out of money he called Dad and the money was wired within the hour. When another brother's father in law died, Dad rushed to help him get the estate settled and he taught his brother how to manage the finances. When my maternal grandparents needed help, he was right there, acting just like a son. He organized family reunions. He gave financial advice to anyone who needed it. He taught his nieces and nephews to water ski and fish. He taught me that when someone needs help, you help. Period. [below, Dad at a Thompson family reunion, about 1987]
BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR
I cannot count the number of times Dad took food to new neighbors, or neighbors who had had a death in their family. He would come in and say "Elva, I heard old Miz So-and-so died, what can we carry?" and Mom would make soup or chili or spaghetti [or defrost some] and they would carry entire meals. We took presents when there was a new baby. New neighbors were welcomed with gifts. We took food and/or presents at Christmas. Dad's generosity was real and he was always enthusiastic.
One year he cooked barbeque for all the family in Augusta, and then divided it up into small packages and delivered them all over town. I don't think anyone got a great amount, but his heart was in the right place.
He loved to barbeque.
PURSUE PASSIONS WITH ZEAL
My dad loved his hobbies and he was enthusiastic about them. He was never casual. If he loved something or someone, it was obvious.
My Dad loved to read and he read voraciously. He was never without a book, and often would be reading more than one at a time. He's the only person I ever saw read and watch TV and the same time. He hated commercials and he would read when they came on. I think my brother got his love of books from Dad, because my brother still reads 3-4 books a week, and knows all the librarians by name.
Dad also loved to work in the yard. Every home we lived in, he would cut the grass, plant vegetables and flowers, and beautify the outdoors space. He and Mom worked hard to make yards beautiful. I didn't learn until I was grown that he had worked on his uncle's farm as a teenager, and knew the farm life wasn't for him, but somewhere inside him he loved growing things. The year after he died, the rose garden he had planted at the last home in Augusta went crazy with blooms. We took it as a sign.
Dad loved all things military. Dad grew up during World War II and his brothers fought in that war, and it profoundly affected him. He watched military movies. He read books about military leaders. He visited the grave of Alvin C. York many times. He showed me and my brother every civil war battlefield and ship or carrier that allowed folks to tour it. For him, history was like a living thing, and he was passionate about everyone knowing history and appreciating it. My brother and I are both history buffs as a result.
DO THE RIGHT THING
Dad always stressed that me and my brother Bruce had to do the right thing. He said it many many times. He lived that, too. He had an innate sense of right and wrong and he never condoned being anything but morally upright. When he said he would do something he kept his word. He always returned phone calls, even if he didn't know the person. He tipped generously. He helped his employees get promoted.
He wasn't perfect, but he tried hard to always be moral and ethical. He taught me that -- probably the most important thing he taught me, except for one thing, how to love.
LOVE WITH ABANDON
If my father loved you, you knew you were loved. You didn't have to wonder about it. He would be there for you no matter what, and if you wronged him, he was quick to forgive.
There will never be another one like him.
