It's funny that I heard something over and over as a child and never realized until much later how profoundly it influenced my life, when I got out into the world and encountered people who thought and lived very differently.
My grandmother Wilma Butler Hasty had a really privileged life and also a very difficult life. How could she have had both? Simple. She was born into a family that was wealthy. While still a young woman, though, the money went away.
Her childhood as the 7th child out of 12 was pretty good. Her father owned a number of profitable businesses in Cobb County, Georgia. His children were taught by governesses. They had a swimming pool. There were new clothes and new cars.
However, my great grandfather, although he had more than a dozen children, really didn't like children. He left it up to his wife and the servants to rear the children. My uncle told me when he was a little boy Grandaddy Butler made it clear he had no use for his grandson or any other child. He had lost most of his money by then, but not his attitudes. He ran around on my great grandmother and caused her a lot of heartache, at a time when divorce was simply not done.
So my grandmother was raised in a huge group of children and got little parental attention. She used to say to me sometimes, with great wistfulness, "You're a lucky little girl. You have parents that love you and fool with you, all the time." [By "fool with" she meant "spend time with."] We did a lot of fun things as a family (sports, fishing, picnics, etc.), and my dad was very hands-on. He fed us, dressed us, read to us -- did everything Mom did. We never doubted he adored us.
I digressed.
Back to Memaw. [right, with some of her siblings, around 1904]
At about age 23, Memaw got married to a handsome hometown sports hero, my grandfather, and it looked like her life would be pretty easy and glamorous. Baseball players were very well-known in 1923 even though it was pre-television.
However, my grandfather was accused of a crime he didn't commit and his contract was sold to a minor league team, and Memaw went with him to Oregon and had to endure a life far from home and family, with very little money. They came back east just in time for the Depression.
She also lived through the Great Depression, and World War II. Life was never easy for her.
Wilma Butler Hasty never gave up or gave in, however. She never regretted anything, either.
Her philosophy: "Always do the best you can do, and then FORGET IT."
When Memaw got married and had her own children, my grandfather was often away on baseball trips, because he kept playing for companies who hired him, in the 1930's, to coach the company baseball team and travel with the team. Company sports teams were very popular in those days. She was a single parent much of the time. [left, Memaw, Papa, Elva, Bobby and Don, around 1940]
Now, I would never have worried about being under her protection. My grandfather bought her a shotgun and modified to fit her tiny stature [4'10], and she was a crack shot. She learned to cook and sew and she could run a household and handle money and do anything her husband could do. She was very smart, funny, and fierce. God help any man who ever tried to get the better of her, in anything. I watched her negotiate with butchers in grocery stores countless times, marveling at her self-assurance. "I want that piece of beef right there, that one. I want it ground THREE times. Not twice. THREE times," she would command. If the butcher looked hesitant she would say "I will WATCH you grind it."
What I never realized until much later was that she didn't just say "Always do your best." She lived it. Any task she was given, she gave it 100%. She did her very best physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually -- and that's all anyone can ask of you.
My parents reinforced her philosophy to me, and I am so thankful for that. I have a fierce work ethic because Memaw and my parents always impressed on me the importance of not just doing what you had to do to get by, but of doing a really GOOD job, giving it 100%. Inherent in that philosophy is that you should be proud of whatever work you are doing, and you should do it with honor.
When I grew up and encountered co-workers who would sit around gossiping and getting very little work done, I was puzzled by that because I couldn't understand that attitude.
I have a friend who spends a lot of time talking about this or that decision he made, and whether or not it was the right decision. Some years ago I finally got fed up and channeled my inner Memaw and just said to him (hopefully not too unkindly) "Look here. You make the best decision you can make and then FORGET IT. Just let it GO." I had never encountered someone so backwards-looking, such a Monday morning quarterback type of person. I wasn't raised like that.
I have always told my kids the same thing I was told: "Do your best, and then FORGET IT."
Of course, if you haven't done your best then you might have room for regrets -- so that's a powerful incentive for never slacking off.
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Michael was telling me earlier today that he works harder than anyone else in his department, and most of his co-workers take advantage of his strong work ethic. I told him to keep working hard, and his work will be recognized.
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