Today is World Suicide Prevention day and I wanted to point out a couple of things that I think really need to be said. Before I do, I want to mention that every time I see my son without a shirt on, I am reminded of the terrible sadness that he can never forget, the sadness of losing his older brother to suicide. I am reminded because Michael has a large tattoo on his chest with his brother's name, and a pair of angel wings.
On his wrist is a memorial to a friend who committed suicide a couple of years ago.
Michael lost another friend to suicide just about a year ago. He has lost far too many of those he loves to suicide.
I was horrified to read this article in USA Today about kids as young as 6 committing suicide in greater numbers. They are bullied, in most cases, often because they are different from their peers.
"Children who have disabilities or differences in learning, sexual/gender identity or culture are often most vulnerable to being bullied, according to the CDC."
An 11 year old killed himself after taunts about him being gay. "Schoolmates called Sellars gay and made fun of his clothes before he took his life in Akron, Ohio, in May, his mother told reporters at the time. After his death, his older brothers were taunted on Snapchat and Twitter. His mother said some suggested they should kill themselves, too."
I have friends and family members who are gay. Being a teenager is hard enough, but imagine being a gay kid who is fearful of being bullied?!
According to The Trevor Project**
- Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24.1
- LGB youth seriously contemplate suicide at almost three times the rate of heterosexual youth.2
- LGB youth are almost five times as likely to have attempted suicide compared to heterosexual youth.2
- Of all the suicide attempts made by youth, LGB youth suicide attempts were almost five times as likely to require medical treatment than those of heterosexual youth.2
- Suicide attempts by LGB youth and questioning youth are 4 to 6 times more likely to result in injury, poisoning, or overdose that requires treatment from a doctor or nurse, compared to their straight peers.2
- In a national study, 40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt. 92% of these individuals reported having attempted suicide before the age of 25.3
- LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection.4
I have an aquaintance whose son was questioning his sexuality, and he killed himself because he didn't think his father would accept him as a gay man. Such a tragic situation.
Nobody chooses to be gay. I have a close friend who is gay and we had a discussion about that once. He said "Why would I choose to be discriminated against? Reviled? Bullied? Being gay is NOT a lifestyle. People are born gay, or bisexual."
I have another friend who insists that being gay is a choice. Took me many years to realize that he feels that way because he is bisexual, and was raised in a very conservative christian home. He chooses to ignore his feelings of same-sex attraction because he fears rejection and possibly damnation. He cannot understand that for most of us, attraction is far less complicated.
When I was a young teenager I remember my mother saying to me "There is NOTHING you can do that will cause me to not love you. NOTHING." At the time I thought she was being a bit... melodramatic. However, I realize now that her unconditional love and support was exactly what I needed to hear. (I am not gay.) I have said the same thing to my children. I may not always like or approve of what they do, but my love for them is never conditional.
ALL parents need to have that talk with their children, in my opinion. A parent's love should be unconditional. If you are reading this and thinking "Well, yes and no..." then I urge you to imagine how you will feel when your child dies by their own hand, fearing that you won't love them if they come out to you.
In my opinion, love should never be conditional. If you truly love someone, you love even the unattractive, uncomfortable parts, the parts that may repel you. Humans are put on this earth with one great commandment: love one another.
We need to do better. We need to teach our kids that suicide is NOT the answer, ever.
**Founded in 1998 by the creators of the Academy Award®-winning short film TREVOR, The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.
