I saw an interview where Lady Gaga was talking about how important it is for people to be kind to one another and I thought awww... what a sweet thing to say, but kind of simplistic. She's right, though.
You don't have to agree with someone's political or religious views to be kind. You don't have to have anything in common. Be kind anyway.
Tonight I started thinking about times in my life when people have been extraordinarily kind to me, and I thought, sometimes there are no words adequate to thank someone... but I want to illustrate my point.
When my father died in 1996 I had a number of people who didn't know me at all nevertheless show me incredible kindness.
When my mom called my office and told my boss dad had died, a lady I worked with offered to leave work and drive me to Augusta -- 2+ hours away. She wasn't a close friend. She was just worried about me driving and crying for 2 hours. I had to reassure her I would be all right. I had just bought my first car phone. I drove alone and cried the entire time, glad that I was alone in the car. I felt Dad's presence with me, though.
A day after I got back to Atlanta I was going through the drive through at a fast food chicken place near my condo and a song came on the radio that reminded me of Dad. I started not to order but I was really hungry. So I blew my nose and tried to stop crying as I ordered. When I got to the window to pick up my food the young black woman noticed my tears and asked what was wrong and I said "My dad died last week." More tears. She handed me my change and my food and then took my hands and prayed with me for a moment. I should have called and told her manager how sweet she was but I didn't think to do it.
Not long afterwards I took some books and cassette tapes (books on tape) back to the library that were really overdue. I told the lady behind the desk I was sorry for keeping them so long but explained I had been out of town dealing with my dad's death. I lived on a strict budget and I was bracing myself to pay a lot of overdue fees but the woman must have seen in my face that I was being truthful and she said "Never mind the fees. I totally understand." I started crying, and thanked her profusely..
I have the most wonderful neighbors in the world.
A couple of years ago my mother fell, and my son was away and wasn't answering his phone (he was with friends and the phone had died). I was scared to death. Mom didn't want to go to the hospital. She was banged up but the EMTs said nothing was broken. I decided to try and keep her at home and monitor her. She really hates hospitals. I didn't want to leave her side, though. One of my neighbors went to CVS and bought a potty chair for me to put by the bed. Another neighbor went to Walmart and bought groceries and brought them to the house. Other neighbors walked Lola for me. Everyone rallied around me and helped. I don't know what I would have done without them.
When Michael got home he was so upset he had not been around for me all day, and he cried and apologized. Normally he is very thoughtful and a huge help in so many ways.
Lola got out of the backyard the other day. She usually wanders around and Mike watches her and she's fine, off leash. He got distracted for a minute and she took off. I was at the doctor. I came home and asked him where she was and he realized what had happened. I was pretty sick with a sinus infection and feeling awful, and I just stood in the house for a few minutes and cried. Michael was very upset. After searching all over the yard and the neighbor's yards, he jumped on his moped and went all over the neighborhood trying to find her. Finally, I calmed down enough to go out to the front yard and call her, and of course I was praying up a storm. In just a few minutes a neighbor that doesn't live close by but is sort of an acquaintance pulled up, saying she had put Lola in the car but then she had jumped out when she heard me calling. Lola came tearing down the street. I thanked that lady profusely.
Many years ago, I was in New York City for the first time, age 18, and with a group from my college. We were in town going to plays. We had wandered away from the hotel and we were thoroughly lost -- a bunch of college students from Tennessee looking completely scared, I am sure. A tall, really elegant looking older white lady came up to me and said "What's the matter?" I was 18 and looked younger and I must have looked shell shocked. I said "We're lost and we need to get back to our hotel. Can you help us?" We chatted a few minutes and she ended up walking a couple of blocks with us to the subway, giving us detailed instructions on what train to catch, when to get off, etc. She was the soul of kindness, in big bad New York City. Thanks to her we got back safely and quickly.
If I thought about it a lot more I could give other examples. FYI -- I rarely cry, so please don't get the impression that is my normal behavior.
All of these stories illustrate a point I have often made, that humans are basically good, and we should be so grateful. We also need to pay it forward. Doing a kindness (anonymously) for someone who cannot do anything for you is called in the Jewish religion a "mitzvah." I love that term. Kindness is it's own reward. It's what unites us as human beings, regardless of superficial things like class or race or background.
If you want to feel good, and you're feeling low, do something for someone else. Just be sweet. It's why we are all here. It's what makes life beautiful.
my street, and a rainbow -- right, a butterfuly at my neighbor's house
