I was thinking today how much my mother and grandmother influenced how I talk, and how often I say things I heard them say. They influenced me in every way, but particularly in regard to my speech patterns and language.
Memaw used to say “That’ll come back and bite you,” talking about something bad you’ve done that will boomerang on you – a/k/a bad karma. (A more old-fashioned way to say the same thing is “You reap what you sow.”)
Memaw also liked to say “It’s just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor one.” HINT HINT DEE (LOL)
When I was a child I was never allowed to say “Shut up.” It was rude. I could say “Hush” like my mother did, as in “Hush crying, we’re fixing to go to the movies.”
Or -- “Hush up. Nobody needs to hear that sass.”
“You better hush crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.” [Mom actually never said that, just Dad.]
Being smart-mouthed and using backtalk were strictly forbidden. Example: “You better hush up that backtalk or you’ll have to go cut me a switch.”
"Cut me a switch" meant I was fixing to get a spanking.
Everything and everyone had a category.
Memaw rated females on different degrees of attractiveness. The highest accolades were “perfectly beautiful” or “she looks like a movie actress.”
An unattractive girl? “She has a sweet face.”
I wish I had a nickel for every time I was told “You be sweet, you hear?” or something like “Y’all be sweet to Miz Jones, she’s been down in the back.”
There are varying degrees of rich, in my mother’s world. There’s “well off” – which could mean a lot of things but it hints at only modest wealth. Similarly, “He’s got some money,” means he doesn’t have to worry about paying bills but he’s not Big Rich. The highest wealth designation is “Big Rich” – reserved for someone like Warren Buffet or Bill Gates. Of course, there’s always New Rich – new money, only worthy of disdain.
Fatness is another important source of colloquialisms, at least in my house. My grandmother thought no woman should ever go out in public without wearing a corset or a girdle, so she had a lot to say about weight.
In my house growing up, there were two categories: regular fat and Hog Fat. Someone who was Hog Fat might need farm equipment to get up out of a chair. Regular fat people just huffed and puffed a bit going up the stairs, maybe because they drank too many co colas.
“Skinny as a snake,” is one I heard in East Tennessee. Mom occasionally says “She’s just skin and bones.”
There are really no colorful expressions for medium-sized people, only the very fat or the very thin. Medium people are boring, I suppose.
I am always fixing to do something. Fixing to go to the store. Fixing to eat. I also say “fix” instead of “cook” oftentimes, something I never thought about until a friend from California pointed it out – like any Southerner, I say things like “I’m fixing grits and eggs for breakfast.”
I love to exaggerate, like all southerners. My daughter pointed out years ago my overuse of “Big Ol” as in, “Here’s a Big Ol mess the dog made, dang it.” Or "I have a Big Ol headache."
A very important designation in the south is whether or not someone was Raised Right. Here are some ways to tell:
- If he’s sweet to his mama, goes to church, loves baseball or college football and has good manners he was Raised Right.
- If she can’t cook, never goes to church, always has bra straps peeking out and cusses too much she was NOT Raised Right.
- If a child doesn’t interrupt grownups, has good table manners, says M’am and Sir, and is sweet to younger kids he is likely being Raised Right.
- If a man holds a door open for a female, helps her in and out of the car, won’t let her carry something heavy, and never forgets Mother’s Day, he was Raised Right.
- If a young women has multiple face piercings, thinks you can cook biscuits in a microwave, and has never read the bible, she was not Raised Right.
- If a man can’t hold his liquor, never heard of Earl Scruggs, or he drinks unsweetened tea, he wasn’t Raised Right.
- Whether regular or Hog Fat, if a woman’s behind jiggles obviously when she walks, she was not Raised Right. It’s okay to have a Swing On Your Back Porch, but jiggling buttocks are just plain scandalous, if you’re over 50. (People my son’s age never express an opinion on jiggling, likely because the girls all jiggle around in yoga pants…)
- If you are not southern you are exempt from these designations. There is little or no chance you were Raised Right, Bless Your Heart.
One of my favorite Christmas gifts was an apron from Down South House and Home that says Raised Right. My friend Stacy has so many cute dishtowels, tote bags, and more, with colorful southern sayings on them. Check out all her darling things.
I need to sign off and go fix lunch. Y’all be sweet.