We spend the first 18-22 years of our lives going to school every day, and aside from our parents, teachers have an enormous ability to influence our lives. I was reminded of this when a Facebook friend posted a link to an obituary of one of her favorite high school teachers who made a big difference in her life.
My friend is still married to her high school sweetheart many years after they graduated, but an unexpected pregnancy had her feeling very insecure right around graduation time, and that teacher was supportive and encouraging, and made a huge difference in her life. They stayed in touch for years and his support and encouragement were unwavering. She is really grieving the loss of her friend.
We all make mistakes when we are young, and how or if someone helps us makes a huge difference in whether or not we overcome those mistakes. [Happy to report my friend did, and has lived a life that would make her old teacher proud, although her life has not been easy.]
Teachers are not merely school employees, simply there to do a job -- not the ones who are truly called to teach, as ministers as called to minister. In many cases teachers are true heroes, and their love and care will often be felt many years after a child leaves their classroom.
It can also work the other way, unfortunately. I have another friend who had a learning disability when we were both kids, except back then nobody had ever heard the term "learning disability." In the 1960's and 70's when I was in school kids with actual learning disabilities went undiagnosed and were labeled either as stupid or lazy. My friend was humiliated and shamed by a teacher who scarred him for life.
I have had teachers who embarrassed me and made me feel wretched, too, but fortunately they are in the minority. Most of my teachers were good, and several were excellent.
I told my mom recently that I had a history teacher in high school that nobody liked. Everyone dreaded landing in her class. Mrs. C gave out assignments and sat behind her desk for 90% of most class periods. Occasionally she would write something on the board and explain it but mostly she didn't explain anything. I'm not sure she even liked History. She didn't seem to have any enthusiasm for the subject AT ALL. However, her method of teaching worked well because it forced students to teach themselves.
Here's what she did. Once a week she would write on the board a long list of words and phrases having to do with the History unit we were studying. Our task was to re-copy each word or phrase and write a paragraph about it, WHO WHAT and WHY IMPORTANT were the things we had to explain in that paragraph. So a unit on the American Revolution, for example, might say muskets / Lexington and Concord / Boston Tea Party / Common Sense, etc. By the time I researched each term and read up about it, then wrote some sentences about it, I pretty well understood it.
Now, that method didn't always work. I liked History and it was easy for me. I had a Math teacher in 8th grade who was very attractive and had won a bunch of awards, and she never taught us anything, just gave us book assignments and tests. On the rare occasion she tried to explain anything, if I didn't understand her (which I usually didn't) I was too ashamed to ask a question because the answer inevitably included her tone of voice which was heavy with disdain, a tone that said Wow you are a moron, Dee. I learned no math that year and started 9th grade in a panic because I had learned nothing in 8th grade. [Teachers who win awards usually deserve the honors but not always.]
My mom taught for several years before my older brother was born. She loved teaching. One day, many years after she had stopped teaching, she was walking down the street in Augusta and a lady stopped her and thanked her for teaching her child years before. The parent had been really ticked off with Mom because Mom gave a lot of homework and the little girl was in a ton of after school activities. Mom was a tough teacher, but fair. When the parent complained that her precious darling simply didn't have time to do all that homework, Mom had replied that she needed to drop some of those activities and concentrate more on learning. The parent told Mom years later that the little girls had developed great study habits and had graduated high school at the top of her class academically. Mom was delighted to hear it.
Not long ago I re-connected with a high school teacher who had a big influence on me as a writer, and was also the faculty advisor to the school newspaper staff. She taught me a lot about good writing. [She liked to say "If the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn't, put it back in the closet!"] We are still in touch and I sometimes send her stories and books I have written because she is always willing to proofread and encourage me. Long retired, but she is still having a positive effect on her [former] students.
I was tutoring a child in writing last year and in the beginning his mother emailed me the objectives he was supposed to complete in English that year. I looked at it and shuddered. No way was I up to that task of teaching my one student all that material. I would never have been able to cut it as a teacher. No way. However, I was able to help the student improve his writing skills and his confidence in himself as a reader and a writer, which made me proud. He was a delight to teach. [I am not tutoring this year because I have a full plate between paralegal work and writing.]
My hat is off to teachers. They usually accomplish tremendous things with our kids -- hampered by low pay, long hours, idiotic rules, and helicopter parents out the wazoo. God bless them.
above, me in a college writing class
the bearded fellow to my right is still a close friend and now has a Ph.D. and is a professor at UGA [go Dawgs!]