I was nearly grown before I realized that my mother had her own language, and not everybody knew it. We spoke fluent mama at my house, me and my brother, from an early age. It's a very expressive language, very southern.
Let me give you an example.
In mama's language there are normal vegetables and there are vegetables of great beauty which should be praised and admired. "Ooooh look at those squashes. Aren't they beautiful?!" she will say, her voice filled with awe and wonder.
Looks like a squash to me. Whoopedy doo. I think that, but I don't say it out loud because I don't want to incur the death ray glare that says You have no idea what a beautiful thing that squash is and I am wondering if I raised you right.
Nobody wants to see that look, trust me. Mama's eyes are enormous and very very blue and they can melt lead.
Often that glare happens when she says the word VULGAR. When I was three years old I knew the meaning of that word. Didn't stop me from picking my nose, but I knew it was vulgar. I just didn't care. [Because I have always disdained being ladylike, I have grown immune to Mama pointing out my vulgar language, vulgar makeup, vulgar shirt that doesn't fully cover my fanny, etc.] It's still a word you rarely hear any more, although there is a very funny lady comedian from Knoxville Tennessee who uses it, Leanne Morgan, and it's hilarious when she says it.
If one is preparing to do something Mama might say "He's fixin' to get married" or "I'm fixin' to run to the store." Of course, once one is at the Piggly Wiggly, one grabs a buggy, for the groceries. [I love the word "groceries" because it reminds me of my dad. He always said "If that ain't good, grits ain't groceries!"]
Of course, Mama always frowned when Dad said "ain't." We were taught not to say it. ["It sounds trashy!"]
Some people have good manners, and Mama would say they were Raised Right. Others, who act ugly, were clearly not Raised Right.
left, a photo of my grandparents, a camellia, and an adorable napkin commemorating Mama-speak; you can order it or dishtowels, totes, aprons, etc. at my friend Stacy's website Down South House and Home.
Little girls are supposed to be precious. That means they act ladylike. Of course, they aren't always precious. I could only attain that honorific when asleep. I was stubborn and bossy and came into the world with HOT MESS practically stamped on my forehead. As a toddler, I liked to run around the house nekkid and eat Purina dog food. I got through that phase pretty quick but not before ruining a dinner party.. [below right, my grandmother and some of her siblings - including several precious girls]
FAT PEOPLE
In Mama's world there are at least three kinds of fat.
"Well look at her! She's a big girl," is Mama-speak for She could lose a few..
"Oh my word. She is gobby fat," means she is REALLY FAT. [BTW "fat" has two syllables, as in Fay-ut.]
"Look at her. She used to be so cute and now she is HAWG FAT. [In other words, it takes a committee to get her into her blue jeans]
RICH PEOPLE
There are several different kinds of wealth, in Mama's world. Her maternal grandfather Robert E. Butler was rich. He owned a number of businesses in Cobb County and he set all his sons up in car dealerships at a time when cars were new technology. My grandmother grew up in a world of servants and privilege. They were RICH, the Butlers.
They were not, however, BIG RICH. Bill Gates is Big Rich.
above, one of Grandaddy's businesses, Butler Marble Works [side note: by The Great Depression the Butlers were not rich any more]
UGLY
This is a word that has two meanings. It could pertain to behavior, as in "When we get to Memaw's house you better not act ugly or I'll tan your hide."
Ugly could also describe people. Dad heard a comedian say once "Beauty may be skin deep but ugly goes to the bone." Thereafter, Bone Ugly was heard occasionally.
EXTRA R's
I don't know where she heard it, but Mama has always said "warsh" instead of "wash."
She also says "Chicargo" instead of "Chicago."
In 8th grade health class I missed making 100 on a test because I spelled the word "cholesterol" wrong. My parents both pronounced it "Chloresterol." I was flabbergasted to discover it doesn't, in fact, have two R's in it.
I hope you've enjoyed the lesson in how to speak like Mama. If your mama has her own language please leave me a comment below.
