The Crab Chronicles

Twenty Questions With Peter Stoddard

My father loved Lewis Grizzard. Mom and Dad always read his column in the paper, and I read it too, even though I was a bit too young to really appreciate the humor. In the 1980’s and early 90’s I would give Dad a book by Grizzard every Father’s Day and sometimes at Christmas or on his birthday. [the book titles were always fun: Elvis is Dead and I don’t Feel So Good Myself, Shoot Low Boys They’re Riding Shetland Ponies, It Wasn’t Always Easy but I Sure Had Fun, etc.]

I think we loved Lewis because his background was similar to Dad’s. Lewis Grizzard was a very Southern humorist, from Moreland Georgia. He grew up poor. He liked to drink and party. His personal life was kind of a hot mess because he was married 4 times and joked “Next time I meet a woman I’m just going to buy her a house and skip all the rest.” [or words to that effect] He was also a diehard fan of the University of Georgia bulldogs. 

Grizzard died in 1994. It seems like yesterday. 

I saw a Facebook ad the other day for a book about Lewis Grizzard, Lewis Grizzard: The Dawg That Did Not Hunt. I immediately shared it on my page because I know a lot of my Facebook friends remember Grizzard with great fondness.

I wanted to interview the author, Peter Stoddard. Pete has had a long career in marketing and sales and he is a delightful interview subject.

Pete was a UGA BBA Marketing graduate in 1979, President of the UGA Chapter of the American Marketing Association and VP of the Terry Business School Council. He jokes that he won narrow elections vs a park bench for each role and that today he can not even get a phone appointment with the people who now hold those roles.

Pete got interested in writing about Grizzard after he moved back here from Florida a few years ago. He visited an excellent museum in Grizzard’s hometown of Moreland and asked where Grizzard’s other personal possessions were. The Moreland volunteer understood a lot was at UGA but he did not know where. As luck would have it Pete was headed to Athens the following week.

Pete: “I went to Athens and spoke to a guy at UGA named Dink Nesmith. He owns 25  newspapers in Georgia and the Carolinas and is former President of the UGA Board of Regents. When I asked why Grizzard’s legacy seemed to be fading Dink thought for a minute and said, “I guess somebody just needs to champion the cause. Maybe that’s you.” I was floored but mightily flattered. Dink put me in touch with Jim Minter, the guy who hired Lewis right out of UGA and was with him the day he died.”

Pete finished Lewis Grizzard: The Dawg That Did Not Hunt in three months. That’s impressive. After typing and paginating his reams of notes he was astonished to discover he had over 400 pages. With that he decided to publish, knowing so many contacts and their stories would have to wait.

In addition to Minter, Pete interviewed a ton of other folks that knew Lewis and remembered him very well, like Frederick Allen, the business writer for the Atlanta Journal Constitution. Allen benefited because when Grizzard’s column didn’t appear Frederick’s column would be in Grizzard’s space. He didn’t know Grizzard very well until the Democratic convention at which Jimmy Carter was nominated for president in 1976 and then they went out drinking one night and became friends. 

Pete wanted to publish the book well in advance of the March 25th anniversary of Grizzard’s death. Strangely, the 25th anniversary came and went and, the Atlanta Journal Constitution did nothing until months later. [I was rather disgusted by that and so was Pete, just FYI.]

Like me, Pete is a self-published author but [unlike me] he has tremendous talent for marketing. He frequently speaks to Rotarians and Kiwanis Clubbers about his book. [My dad was in both Rotary and Kiwanis, for many years, just fyi.] If you are in the Atlanta area and hear he is going to speak to your group, I urge you to attend. If you are a member of a group that might enjoy having him speak, give him a holler.

 

What is your full name?

Peter Stoddard

Where would you live, if you could live anywhere in the world?

Not sure. Maybe New Zealand. I love right where I am at. Cumming, Forsyth County GA.

What is your favorite movie and why?

Too many to name, but today I recommended a favorite, 1776. 

It combines my favorite topics. The founding of America, patriotism, humor and music. [Note from Dee: I love that movie too!]

What was your least-favorite subject in school when you were a kid?

Typing. But now as a writer I wish I had paid more attention. When I put my mind to it I dictate to text, but I don’t do that often enough.

What was your nickname when you were a kid? 

Several. Chuck, Landoi, Polecat, the Mailman. No one person called me any of those, but a lot of people called me each.

Do you believe in God? 

Profoundly.

What sound or noise do you love? 

Thunderstorms, leaves or snow falling, waterfalls, scuba bubbles, children laughing.  

If you could do anything other than what you do, as a profession, what would it be?  

Travel related to scuba diving with my sons working by my side. We would write about it together. If no one hired us to do it that would be their loss. My sons are far smarter and funnier than I am. Getting them to sit still and write is another thing. That’s where I need to get better at speech to text. I can handle the editing and publishing part. (By the way, if anyone needs Grammarly they need to go back to 6th grade English. https://www.powerthesaurus.org is my favorite tool.)

If heaven exists, what do you think it is like? 

When you arrive you learn absolutely everything at once forever. It will be wonderful. I like to think I do not fear death, but that does not mean I want it to come tomorrow. Life on earth is short, and I have work to do. I hope to help others find God in the remaining time I have.

Do you have siblings? 

Yes, two older brothers.

What is your favorite memory of childhood [something specific]?

Between age 6 & 8 we lived in suburban Boston. I was riveted by colonial history, field trips to Freedom Trail sites and more. Only after we moved to Atlanta did I discover that ancestors on my Mother’s and Father’s side arrived in Boston in the 1630s. They were important people who may have known each other, but few have heard of them. I look forward to meeting them in Heaven, but I want to revive their legacies first.

If you had to choose between one week traveling around the USA by car, or one week traveling around Europe on a train, which would you choose and why? 

Europe by train. I’ve only been to Paris, St Petersburg & Moscow. Those were joyous trips to adopt my youngest son, but they were fraught with tension. I’d want to take both sons with me and be able to relax.

What inspires you? 

God, my sons, intelligent and kind people.

Which holiday do you prefer, Christmas or July 4th? 

Both, but Christmas first. Both from the historic perspective, not the celebration. I dislike home fireworks with a passion. Increasingly Good Friday and Easter are more important than any. Those are the days that changed the world forever.

What project or idea are you most passionate about, right now? 

Lewis Grizzard, family history, saving America and Western civilization from lunacy.

Do you know how to cook? 

A few things very well. Omelets, and I can grill - but who can’t? Good thing I live near a Costco with organic cheap food that requires zero preparation. I love Trader Joe’s. Why Cumming does not have one I do not know.

What is your favorite thing to cook/eat? 

BBQ, filet of sole, oysters, sushi, ribeyes, sauteed spinach, apple pie or caramel cake like my mom used to make, Varsity no more than 4 times a year.

If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, for 2-4 weeks, all expenses paid, where would you go and why? 

New Zealand. Beauty, people, no language barrier, scuba diving. But that’s only from 2nd source info.

Who do you love the most in the world?

Oh please! God, my sons, and hopefully a soulmate woman I have yet to meet.

What question has nobody ever asked you, but you wanted to answer? 

Why did it take me so long to find such joy in life by writing?

 

The Choices for Women

I watched the movie On the Basis of Sex the other day, about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and was reminded about how limited the choices were for women, until recently. Young women today have literally no idea how fortunate they are to have so many choices.

When my mother was a young woman she decided that she wanted to go to law school and become a lawyer. Her aunt Jenny had married a lawyer and they lived in Macon, a short train ride away. Mom went to see them. She had often spent time there. Her uncle, Harry, a prominent lawyer in Macon for many years, listened to my mother and then said "No, you can't be a lawyer. Just forget it. Women shouldn't be lawyers." He repeated this to my grandparents. Going to law school would have been really difficult, as Mom had to work hard to put herself through undergraduate school, but she was willing to try.

That was about 1952. In 1952, women were told they could be teachers, nurses, or wives and mothers. Most women stayed at home and raised their children.

I have been a paralegal for more than thirty years and I can tell you this: my mother is brilliant and would have made a fine lawyer. Her uncle was very traditional and felt like he was giving her good advice.

Perhaps he was thinking of the uphill battle she would face to get a job. In the movie, we see a young Ruth Bader Ginsburg [now a Supreme Court Justice] going from firm to firm, trying to get hired. She had a law degree from Columbia, and had attended Harvard Law her first two years. She was undeniably brilliant, yet no New York law firm would hire her. She finally got a job as a law professor.

I overheard an older attorney telling a young female lawyer once, in an interview [he had left the door open to the conference room for some reason] "If you come to work here we expect you to work as late as we need you to be here, not go home at 5:00." In other words, forget about a 40 hour work week. Most female lawyers I knew worked the same hours as the young male associates -- 60+ hours a week. Didn't matter if there were children at home. Career had to come first, if you wanted a job, much less any chance at partnership.

Back then the term "quality of life" was unknown.

Ginsburg's husband, who was also a lawyer, was shown in the movie helping cook dinner and take care of the children. That was highly unusual back then.

When I was coming along in the 1980's women had far more career choices. However, that doesn't mean it was [or is] any easier.

I have gone to work sick too many times to count, because I didn't want to lose my job. When I finally became a mom, in my 40's, I was told at one job that I needed to stop taking off so much time for things like taking my kids to the doctor, or meetings at school. I couldn't do that, as a single mom, and I eventually got laid off from that job. Publicly, the company said work/life balance was important but in my department the women who got laid off were ones like me, with families. It didn't matter that I always got my work done and got great performance reviews. That was just 11 years ago.

Women will always have to choose between work and family, and then we will have to live with the consequences, I suspect. Men have to make similar choices but they get far less criticism if they work 60 hour weeks.

Women now sometimes get criticized for staying at home to raise their children. When I was young, women who chose to stay home and raise families were not always respected. "You're just a housewife?" is a very demeaning thing to say.  My mother was excluded from many conversations around Dad's colleagues because it was assumed that since she didn't work she couldn't grasp what they were talking about, which quietly infuriated her.

I hope and pray that women will get respect, in the future, for whatever choice they make, to stay home OR to work. To have children or not. Women need to support each other and not tear each other down.

I also hope young women will see movies like On the Basis of Sex, about the struggle for equality, and appreciate what their mothers and grandmothers went through. It's the only way to keep moving forward.

When women have lots of choices and men play an equal role in child rearing everyone benefits.