The Crab Chronicles

Writing About The Current Crisis

I was blessed to have two parents that liked talking to me and my brother when we were kids, and who told us vivid stories about their childhoods and the years before my brother and I joined the family.

Mom and Dad made topics that were dry and boring in school [World War II, The Cold War, The Cuban Missile Crisis] far more interesting because we got to hear how their lives were impacted by those things.

Mom told me the Cuban Missile Crisis was particularly stressful for the family because I was an infant and on formula, and they were scared to leave town because they didn't know if they could get formula for me. SO they decided to just stay put and take their chances. [During the Cuban Missile Crisis, leaders of the U.S. and the Soviet Union engaged in a tense, 13-day political and military standoff in October 1962 over the installation of nuclear-armed Soviet missiles on Cuba, just 90 miles from U.S. shores.]

Dad watched his two older brothers go off to war during World War II and then recalled his joy when his brothers came home alive. Lewis came home and showed the family how to grill steaks outside, which none of them had ever done -- putting an old metal shelf from the fridge over a hole in the ground filled with charcoal, a crude grill. Lewis had been on an island in the Pacific for months, watching for Japanese soldiers and airmen to invade, a nerve-wracking experience he never really talked about afterwards. [Lewis' photo is on the right]

Dad also told us when America got into the war his father, who had been in World War I, told Dad and his friends to dig a trench so they could play trench warfare. Grandaddy marked off the exact place to dig the trench and encouraged the digging. A few months later a new septic tank was placed in the "trench" -- and he didn't have to pay somebody to dig it. [Grandaddy was nobody's fool...]

Mom told me just recently that as soon as the polio crisis got really bad, her parents both worked one day, all day long, emptying out the kitchen cabinets and scrubbing every surface with a mixture of Clorox and water, and wiping down all the foodstuff in the house. They were already major germaphobes, both of them, but when polio was rampant in America they got really serious. Which is GOOD -- nobody in the family got polio.

 

As I mentioned in my prior blog, we are living in a fascinating [and yes, scary] time in history. Imagine if someone who had lived through the Great Fire of London or the Black Plague or the Revolutionary War had written a clear and personal account of how their daily life was affected by that? I would LOVE to read such an account.

Historians concentrate on facts -- dates, places, battles, etc. -- dry and boring, usually. Real people writing real accounts of daily life? Fascinating.

I think my love of history comes from my parents' willingness to make it come alive for us.

 

I was thinking today, what will future generations find interesting about living through the Coronavirus Pandemic of 2020?

While most of us have some extra time on our hands I want to urge you, readers, to write up an account of what it's like to live through this pandemic. Maybe you don't have grandchildren yet but someday you might -- or not -- but maybe you will have great nieces and nephews. I know most of you aren't professional writers, so I thought it might be helpful if I posted what are called Writing Prompts. You can use these as inspiration to write up your own account. Then save it printed out or on a thumb drive, for future generations.

If you really don't like to write but you are tech savvy, make a video of yourself talking about the crisis, and save it somewhere.

 

above -- my Hasty grandparents in 1951

 

Writing Prompts

I first heard about the Coronavirus and my thoughts were...

I decided it was important to take steps to safeguard my family during this time so I...

There are shortages of things in my town and these are some of the hard-to-get items...

I was working up until _____ and then I started working from home on ______ and it has been.....

In the midst of all the scary news stories and sadness I have found some really positive things and they are...

Social media has actually been a blessing because I have been able to safely keep up with what friends and family members are doing, and this is my favorite post/meme...

These are the things I notice when I drive down the street in my town nowadays...

I do/do not know someone who has had the Coronavirus and here's more about that...

These are the ways my life has changed in the past few weeks....

In the future, I think life will be different because of this pandemic and here's what I think will change...

This is the saddest thing I have heard since this crisis started...

This is the funniest thing I have seen/heard...

This is my opinion of what the government has done in response to this crisis [remember local, state, and Federal]

Living in History

When I was in college I took a class and read a book in that class that changed me forever. The book? Hard Times, by Studs Terkel.

The book was basically a collection of interviews with people who had lived through the Great Depression and how they had coped. I found it so much more compelling to hear the voices of real people, recalling real events, and how they managed their lives in a terrible time.

I learned a lot from talking to my parents about events they had lived through, like the Great Depression, World War II, and the Cuban Missile Crisis.

I wish they had written down their recollections, or that I had taped or filmed them.

Right now we are living in history -- a global pandemic. People all over the world are dying. The ones of us not sick are going to great lengths not to get sick, or get our older family members sick.

Here's a tip: write down what it's like to live through this crisis. Save it somewhere. Or video yourself talking about it, if you don't like to write. We are living in history but one day, these days of quarantine will be a distant memory. Let's leave a compelling account for the generations to come.

I've never in my life had the government telling me not to leave my house. This is unprecedented.

As of 9 pm tonight my county [DeKalb County] will be under a "stay at home" order. As I understand it, that means we can go to the grocery store or to get gas or other "essential" activities, but that's it. I was a bit irritated until I was watching the news and I saw that Atlanta will be the next "hot spot" for Coronavirus. Seems oddly poetic, since we are the headquarters of the CDC.

Not all the news is bad.

All of us with kids at home are teaching our kids how to weather tough times -- something this generation needs to know. The kids are being forced to get their heads away from phones and ipads and x-boxes and really pay attention to the world. That's actually a great thing.

One of my favorite journalists, Steve Hartman, posted a wonderful video about kindness. Kids learn decency and compassion and kindness mostly from their parents.

I can't really do much to help anyone, but I have been trying hard to stay positive, and post things on social media that are funny [see below].

I've heard there is an alarming rise in suicides these days. USA Today published an article about this last week. This is difficult to hear. I have two friends who lost their sons to suicide [several years ago, not recently], and that heartbreak will never leave them. Yes, the world is very screwed up right now. Yes, it's hard to cope. No, suicide is not the answer. It solves everything for the person doing it, but creates so much pain for those left behind.

Faith helps. I have faith that God will see me and my family through this. It will not be easy, but then so much of life isn't easy. Asking for an easy life is a waste of time. Life will always be hard.

Even if you aren't a believer, think about this. Everything goes in cycles. Right now we are in a down cycle, but it won't last forever. Good times will return.

I pray every day that this pandemic will end soon. I pray that our leaders will lead wisely.

I just ordered flower seeds from Amazon. As soon as they come in I will plant them, along with some veggie seeds I have saved.

My favorite proverb: "The cure for dirt is soap and water. The cure for death is LIFE." Go out and live. Take a walk. Cook a meal. Hug your loved ones -- the ones in quarantine with you, of course.

LIVE and LOVE and know these times will pass.

 

Predictions from the Middle of the Pandemic

I keep reading predictions about what's going to happen, but I read them with a Big Grain of Salt. Like, the size of Plymouth Rock. Call me cynical. I am going to throw out a few predictions, though.

I don't know how you figure the start of the Corona Virus Pandemic but I figure it from about March 1, and now we are entering into week 4 of it. I think we will be on high alert for about 3-5 more weeks and then we will be over the worst of it and slowly life will get back to normal. I think by June 1 life will be normal again.

I base that on nothing scientific, just a gut feeling.

Laugh if you like.

The truth is, nobody really knows. This is what a quick Google search gets you, articles like When Will the Corona Virus Be Over?

Your guess is as good as mine.

[Just FYI, I tend to be very leery of "experts." I put that in quotes because I don't think anyone is truly an expert in this, even Dr. Fauci. I think he's a great guy. It's just that the virus is unpredictable.]

I have a friend who works at the CDC, has been there for more than 20 years. Here's what she said: "Maybe 4-6 weeks? My guess is that we will slowly return to work and social settings at reduced capacity."

I predict in about 9 months there will be a baby boom. That's not exactly rocket science.

I predict people will be cooking a lot more, now that going to restaurants is hazardous. I do a fair amount of cooking anyway, but now, since it's risky I want to go to restaurants. ACK. (I think I just need to get out of the house more.)

I predict the election in November will be very different because of the Corona Virus -- not sure how. I just think as a nation, we are undergoing vast changes and it's inevitable. Will that be good or bad? I don't know.

The world in crisis is nothing new. I have always been the quiet kid in the corner listening to the grownups [well, quiet sometimes] and I have heard so many stories from my elders of how they got through the Great Depression and how they managed during World War II. The worse thing my generation has dealt with was 911 and that had lasting effects but was really only impactful for a few days or a week or so [for non New Yorkers, of course].

The world is changing almost faster than the news folks can report it.

I predict we will all come out of this with an increased respect for medical professionals, and for folks who deliver products to our stores.

Have you seen all the funny memes about toilet paper? I am not worried about toilet paper or anything else being scarce. I think the shortages are caused by people panicking, not a real shortage of goods.

I truly believe that everything that happens to a person -- good or bad -- happens for a reason. We just don't always figure it out until long afterward.

Recently I was feeling like my life was in quite a deep rut, but not any more. Now every day is a little weird, since I am back to living alone, but I also am less stressed because I am not personally trying to take care of anyone else -- well, except Lola, and she's easy.

I spent much of today scanning in a bunch of old photos and I have had fun with that. I replaced my very outdated computer, so learning how to scan in photos in Windows 2010 has been interesting.

FINAL THOUGHTS...

I predict that our country will be stronger once we have dealt with this crisis, whether it lasts a few more weeks or a few more years. We are more hygiene conscious, thank God. We are [most of us] enjoying being at home, and a slower pace of life. When all the socializing and sports get canceled we get to know our family members better.

I have big control issues. Letting go of situations I really cannot control [like Elva in rehab or my son living on his own] is the only way I can stay sane.

Faith helps a lot. No matter what happens, God is always available.As long as we remember that, and remember to love our neighbors, we will be okay.

Ten Things To Do On Your Corona-cation

Are you stuck at home, wondering what on earth to do with yourself? Tired of watching the news channels, with their predictions of gloom and doom? Here are some things to do while you're on your self-quarantine, or as I like to think of it, your Corona-cation.

Keep in mind, I have been working from home for several years now, so not much has changed for me, except my mom is in a rehab facility so I am not taking care of her right at the moment -- hopefully that will change soon.

Sitting on the couch watching TV gets old after a while. Try to view this time as an opportunity to get your house and your stuff in order.

#10 Get ready for spring -- here in the Deep South we're already experiencing warm days and frosty night are over, so that's my perspective. If you're in a colder climate, you may have to wait a bit. Head to the garden store with your debit card in your pocket, wearing your garden gloves, and pick up some seeds or some tiny sprouts, and get your garden underway. If you're not into gardening outside, pick up some easy house plants to care for, like Philodendrons, or Mother In Law's Tongue.

#9 Clean out your closet. Get rid of all those clothes you've been saving for ten years.

#8 Go through your food stores and throw out the expired food. You know there's some back in there, like that jar of artichoke hearts you've had since '08.

#7 Write a letter. I bet you have elderly family members or friends who don't do email or social media. Write them a personal letter and mail it off. You will brighten their day.

#6 I bet all your photos are now on your computer, scattered in a million different folders. Go through them and take every photo you really love, and put it on a thumb drive or external hard drive. In the event of an emergency, you can grab that a lot faster and easier than bulky photo albums.

#5 Find recipes for foods you have on hand. You don't have to be a gourmet cook to follow a recipe. You can use that jar of spaghetti sauce as the base of a hearty vegetable soup, for instance.

#4 Clean out your car. You normally spend a ton of time in the car. When was the last time you went out there with the Windex and the vacuum and really gave it a thorough cleaning?!

#3 Phone a friend. I am always saying there aren't enough hours in the day. Well now there are. Phone that old college roommate you haven't spoken to in several years, or the cousin you always loved seeing at family reunions. Phone visits are a great way to stay in touch. 

#2 Foods that are easy to store, like peanut butter and hot dogs, are now hard to find in the store. Fresh meat and veggies are not hard to find, though. Sharpen up your kitchen knives and get to peeling and chopping. Here's a tip: greens like spinach or cabbage are great if you saute them for a few minutes in some olive oil, and add balsamic vinegar and garlic salt [or powder, or fresh garlic].

#1 Break out the board games and get busy. Monopoly, Clue, Battleship, Trivial Pursuit -- all great ways to pass the time, and fun!

above, my son makes cookies

 

A View from Inside the Pandemic

Two weeks ago I was aware of the Corona Virus but I was much more focused on the fact that I was sick [sinus/ear infection] and my mother was hospitalized with the flu and a UTI. Mom nearly died when her UTI turned septic and I could think of little else for a couple of dark days. Mom is in a rehab facility now and recovering, although really not happy that she can't have visitors.

I put together a "care package" for Mom this morning and drove it over to her, although all I could do was give it to the man at the door, who said it would be delivered to her. As of last Thursday the elderly residents are quarantined and no visitors are allowed. That's a smart move, since the elderly are so at risk.

I have sort of awakened from the fog of the past couple of weeks, though, and I wanted to make a few observations about the situation we find ourselves in now.

Although I doubt there are many people alive who remember it, the 1918 Flu Pandemic was far worse than this one. According to the CDC:

"The 1918 influenza pandemic was the most severe pandemic in recent history... It is estimated that about 500 million people or one-third of the world’s population became infected with this virus. The number of deaths was estimated to be at least 50 million worldwide with about 675,000 occurring in the United States."

In 1918 more soldiers died from the flu than from fighting in World War I.

I first became aware that there had been a pandemic in 1918 when I read a biography of Margaret Mitchell [author of Gone With the Wind] and it said her mother died in the 1918 flu pandemic. The "Spanish flu" as it was known then was much more of a plague. There was a shortage of doctors and nurses, many of whom were in Europe tending to soldiers.

They didn't have the medicines we have now, and they didn't have the knowledge of hygiene and germs we have now. There were no flu vaccines. There was a lot of ignorance.

We are much more fortunate today.

 

I drove through suburban Northeast Atlanta this morning, taking the "care package" to Mom; some more clothes, get well cards from friends, and her all important Love That Red lipstick. She used a nurse's phone yesterday to call me and tell me in no uncertain terms she HAD to have her lipstick.

Like any good Southern Belle, Elva has her purse and her lipstick, so she is ready for anything now.

As I drove through the mostly deserted streets today I thought back to September 11, 2001, and a similar drive from work to home, through eerily quiet and seemingly deserted residential areas of Atlanta, just before lunch. On that day, after watching in horror as planes crashed into the World Trade Center in New York, our company sent everyone home. The streets were too quiet. There were no planes overhead.

This morning there were many people out walking dogs, and/or jogging. The churches I passed were deserted, though. The normal Decatur traffic was 90% lighter than a typical weekend day. It was very close to lunchtime, and Atlantans typically like to eat out for Sunday lunch.

I think a lot of folks are staying home and voluntarily self-quarantining. That's good. We may yet avoid the nightmare Italy is facing now - an entire country on lockdown, hundreds dying every day..

America is hunkering down voluntarily. We have new cases popping up every day, but we are battling to keep the mortality rate low. I think the president was right to restrict travel to Europe. The schools are right in closing. People can unknowingly spread the virus to the community before they know they are even sick.

I don't think wearing masks in public is really the thing to do, because I have heard from a number of sources that the virus can get through the masks. No, the biggest threat is people not washing their hands enough. Your hand touches a surface that has the germ, then you touch your face, and voila, you're sick.

Is it such a terrible thing to stay home, though? I don't think so. In recent years, as Mother has become increasingly fragile and I have worked from home more and more, I have come to cherish staying home. I love my yard. I love walking Lola around my neighborhood. We see something new every day, whether it's a neighbor's new flowers blooming, or a birdhouse suddenly filled with a family, or a neighbor's lovely new roof. I never listen to music while I walk because I like to chat with folks I see.

What's wrong with Working in the yard? Playing board games? With gathering around the piano to sing? With starting spring cleaning a bit early?

I grew up with a Mom who hated to drive in bad weather, particularly in snow. So we always had 2-3 weeks worth of food in the pantry and freezer. A couple of times in Knoxville when we had snowstorms we ate out of the canned and frozen food stores, a lot. Mom was adept at making tasty casseroles and skillet dinners with non-perishable foods she kept on hand.

The shortages are mostly just consumer panic and we need to stop freaking out and buying up all the hand sanitizer and toilet paper. Buy what you need for a week or so, not for the apocalypse.

Maybe, as a country, we need to take a step back from really busy lives and focus on family life, for a change. As individuals, we need to kick it into a lower gear, and not sweat the small stuff so much.

There are many lessons to be learned from this crisis.

Most of all, let's care about each more, and spend more time loving each other. Let's pray that this pandemic will not overwhelm our country, and that everyone will use common sense to prevent things from getting worse. Watch the news, but don't let it overwhelm you.

Laugh as much as possible. Laughter is healing.

Peace be with you.

A Few Thoughts on International Women's Day and the Value of Critical Thinking

I had never heard of March 8 as being an internationally celebrated holiday until I adopted my daughter from Russia and became friends with a Russian lady who lives here in Atlanta.

"International Women's Day (March 8) is a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity." [source]

I think it's great to recognize women, but on the other hand it shouldn't be necessary. Half of the humans on earth are female. We should automatically get the equal treatment we deserve without having to beg anyone for it. Unfortunately, in many countries women are still treated as second-class citizens. In Arab countries, women only recently earned the right to drive a car, get a job, and be free from guardianship by male relatives.

You may think that has nothing to do with Americans but there are religions here in the USA which also push women to be submissive to men and take a backseat in all things. Mormon women primarily still go to college to find a spouse, according to this article. Mormon women are not encouraged to work outside the home. Gender roles are very traditional. That's also true for Hasidic Jews, as I was a Hasidic Jew but I Broke Free explains.

"If you’re looking for a guide to modern life, the Bible is a challenging place to start. That’s especially true on matters of women’s rights: As a thousand-years-old text, it’s frustratingly oblique on such thorny issues as how women should dress, whether they should work outside the home, and God’s preferred balance of career and motherhood." [Mormon women are caught between economic pressures and the word of God]. 

Since the bible was written hundreds of years ago by male authors in a patriarchal society very different from today I have always been puzzled by women who think the bible is the final authority on how to behave, dress, worship, etc. I took a class in bible studies some years ago and our teacher [one of the female priests there at the church] said we have to read the bible in light of when it was written. The world today is a very different place than it was during the Council of Nicea, and even a cursory study of the controversies back then should be enough to lead a reasonable person to conclude the bible must be interpreted. It's not infallible. You have to look at it in context.

 

I count myself lucky that I grew up with a father who always told me I could do anything I wanted. I also had a mother who encouraged me to learn and explore and develop my talents as a writer, singer, actress, cook, etc. My parents were very encouraging. They also applauded when in 1978 the Episcopal Church began ordaining women to the priesthood. My dad's second-in-command at the bank where he worked was a female, and she quit to go start her own bank and is now a huge success, in Knoxville.

The world my mom was born into in 1933 was a very different place. Women had only had the right to vote since 1920. Most women didn't pursue careers. Sexism was common. Women were the butt of jokes ["take my wife, please"] and a lack of reliable birth control limited choices. The world has had to evolve so much since then, and the evolution has been a bumpy ride.

Even in my lifetime [since 1962] things have changed dramatically. I only had one friend as a child whose mother worked. My mother had been raised by a working mother. Mom hated coming home to an empty house as a child, and consciously chose to stay home and raise me and my brother, but nobody criticized her for that. Nowadays, young women can face criticism if they simply want to be a SAHM [stay at home mom]. That's not fair, either.

 

I count myself as a feminist but not a feminazi. I think women should have equal rights, but also equal responsibilities.

Birth control is much easier to come by these days, and more reliable. So why are women still needing abortions? I am going to plunge into murky waters here and say something that will [for sure] make all the people reading this angry, but I feel strongly about it. I think that any women who gets pregnant by accident has to own up to what happened and 1) tell the father and make the decisions in conjunction with him, and 2) carry to term if she is past the first trimester. I don't approve of the draconian laws saying nobody can get an abortion if there is a heartbeat. However, the opposite view, that women should be able to abort a child even into the third trimester, is even more horrifying. 

Abortion is one of those thorny topics which will continue to divide us as a nation for years to come, I am sure. I do not want Roe v. Wade overturned but I don't think it will be. I do think states will make their own laws and Federal law may not always carry the day. In the future, women may have to travel a bit to terminate a pregnancy.

I have always maintained the best way to prevent abortions is simple: give teenagers access to birth control, easily and cheaply. They are hormone-driven anyway, and to expect all teens to be celibate until marriage just isn't realistic. However, if a young woman does get pregnant and has no help, then that's just wrong. If you anti-abortion folks want to save babies, help the mamas.

As long as women are the only humans who can get pregnant and have children, life will be more complicated for us than it is for men. That's just basic biology.  I hate the fact that abortion is such a polarizing issue today, and folks on both sides are often unreasonable about it. If you cannot discuss it with civility and reason, you can never solve a problem -- any problem.

 

We live in a society that values sound bites and slogans, and ideas that make for provocative Tweets. We do not teach our children how to wade through all the mis-information out there and learn to debate ideas properly. The lack of critical thinking ability divides us along lines of gender, race, regions, sexuality, and more.  News used to be objection and informative. Now, it's entertainment-driven because people have much shorter attention spans.

Women's issues have become very polarizing. I rejoice in the Me Too movement because I have experienced sexual harassment in the workplace and it's gone unchecked for far too long. However, if innocent men are getting accused and villified, that's tragic.

Every coin has two sides.

Back to my original premise: International Women's Day. I hope one day in the near future it will disappear. I hope we won't need it. When the day comes that women are respected, valued, and given the exact same rights and privileges as men [personally and professionally] there will be no need for it. It will be like celebrating International Human Beings Day -- just not necessary.

 

On a personal Note: my mother has been in the hospital for 10 days now and is recuperating from the flu and a UTI. It's been hard sledding, as I have been sick, too. Please keep us in your prayers..

below left, my Henderson grandmother and two of her sisters, right my Butler grandmother and three of her sisters