I was blessed to have a wise and very present father, who led by example. He never shirked responsibility, and he didn't stick to the sidelines.
My dad was a hands-on father at a time when most daddies were not. My dad walked us in the baby carriage, changed diapers, read stories, got us dressed, played with us, fed us, read to us -- he did everything Mom did, and added his own particular dad things, like letting us ride on his back in the swimming pool.
My dad died when I was 34 years old. So every Father's Day since then has been somewhat sad. I try to remember the good things he said and did, and his profound influence on me.
Dad liked to give us advice and tell us what to do. As a teenager and into my young adulthood I found that annoying. Then when he died I tried to remember every single piece of advice and counsel, to hold on to little fragments of him, and keep him with me, somehow.
I was thinking today about a lot of his advice and/or directives. Many of these things pop into my head frequently. Dad's enduring legacy is that he is the voice in our heads.
Always do the right thing. [It's never the easy thing, but do it anyway.]
Whatever your boss says, just do it. [Mom's version: if the boss says dig a hole and fill it up again just do it! That's what he pays you for.]
If a policeman stops you or tells you to do something don't question it, just do it. [Dad was able to talk himself out of a lot of speeding tickets.]
Always be kind to everyone. [He demonstrated this. I never saw him treat anyone with disdain or rudeness.]
Never pay full retail for anything. [Dad was a banker and very conservative with money!]
Look at it from the other person's perspective. [Great advice particularly when I was really angry. Even today, I try to understand both sides of any conflict.]
Watch what you say. [This was the pot calling the kettle black because Dad often joked a little too much and sometimes got in hot water for it. He was a verbal daredevil.]
Listen to your mama. [Even when he was mad at Mom there was mutual respect and they presented a united front to me and my brother.]
Don't judge until you've tried it. [This went for everything from foods to new products to relationships.]
Always give it a hundred percent. [That way you will never have regrets. Mom emphasized this, too.]
