I was telling a fellow paralegal recently about a bizarre episode that happened to me many years ago in Knoxville, and it occurred to me that if you’ve lived more than half of your life as a card-carrying grownup, you will encounter some really unpleasant things. My list is pretty benign.
I should try to just laugh about these things. Some do make me laugh… but not all.
As sort of an antidote to the first list, I decided to throw in a second list, because even though 2020 has been pretty much a Shit Show [pardon the profanity, just quoting Ryan Reynolds there] I have survived it, and I know I will be okay even without my mom.
I wish I didn’t know…
• What it feels like to test positive for Covid-19
• The queasiness that comes from being propositioned by an 80 year old man [client at one of the firms where I worked in Knoxville]
• The horrifying BANG of two cars colliding at high speeds
• How it looks when my dog poops out an undigested paper towel
• How it looks [and sounds] when Lola barfs up a paper towel, on the new carpet…
• The complete and utter emotional and physical exhaustion known as “moving day”
• The smell of burning brussels sprouts or burning onions
• The terrible anxiety of walking down the aisle of the grocery store with a calculator
• The sadness of missing both of your dead parents
• The humiliation of serving something to a guest knowing it tastes far from delicious [I take some pride in being a good cook, but I’ve had my share of disasters]
• The fear of watching my backyard turn into a pond every time we get heavy rains
• The terrible sadness of watching a grown child make terrible life choices
However, I am really glad I know the following things…
• The feeling of happiness that comes from eating a delicious meal I’ve prepared for my family
• What my backyard smells like after a summer shower
• The peace of knowing I did my best to make my mom’s final years on earth as happy and pain-free as possible
• The new-mama feeling of birthing a new book that I’ve spent months writing [and hoping/praying readers will enjoy the story]
• The smell of baking pound cake wafting through the house
• Delight at the yearly showing of autumn leaves
• How to enjoy singing even when it’s just me, alone in my house [let’s just say if Mel Torme and Julie Andrews had had a baby…]
• The love of my children, who remember how it feels to be an orphan
• The serenity of faith that a loving God always has my back
• How blessed I am to have cousins who are also dear friends, and friends who feel like family
• The maturity that allows me to not get freaked out all the time over little things
