Every once in a while I will be having a really bad day and something will happen that will give me hope. Sometimes it's a big thing, sometimes a small one.
My son was telling me he feels like he is getting sick and yet he had to go to work this morning. I worry about him driving when he doesn't feel well -- especially since his car isn't running at the moment and he is in my car. While he was telling me that I noticed a dot of red in my peripheral vision and turned to look at the French doors in the family room. A plump cardinal was sitting on the ground looking at me. He stayed there a long time, not moving, just looking at me. I fully embrace the idea that cardinals are messengers [LINK]. I feel hopeful when I see them. I know that no matter what is happening, I will be okay.
I saw a lot of cardinals last summer when my mother died. It was as if heaven had imbued the entire cardinal population in the area with the directive "go and comfort Dee!"
Also yesterday a friend of mine posted about my newest book [Heart of My Own Heart] on Facebook: Reading my friend Dee Thompson's new book https://www.amazon.com/Heart-My-Own.../dp/B08NTMTKZW... I am on page 409 already, savoring every paragraph, really sad that soon it will come to an end and I will have to say goodbye to the enchanted world that Dee created in her story! The book is written in such a way that you can't help but feel yourself part of the story! You are never alone if you have a good book to read! 
That did my heart good, reading that.
Books are such a great escape, to me. They keep me going on days when distracting myself from stress is super important. Right now I am reading The Sweetness of Forgetting, by Kristin Harmel. It's a terrific book. Really enjoying it.
Sometimes the "message of hope" is a friend calling for a phone visit. Sometimes it's finding money I didn't know I had in my purse or couch cushions. Sometimes it's simply hearing a song I love on the radio.
Right now my stress level is 10/10. I am trying to get my house ready to sell, and find a condo or town home in this area that I can afford. I am almost afraid to type that because real estate agents are coming out of the woodwork to bother me. I cannot afford to renovate my home to be super appealing to buyers, even though the real estate market is very hot right now. So I will be offering it for less than comparable homes, in hopes someone will see past the cosmetic defects. Everyone always wants walls and flooring to reflect their own taste.
I have accumulated so much stuff over the years that downsizing is a huge challenge. I had my own Estate Sale last weekend but I didn't attract too many buyers. I made enough money to cover the costs of a new phone because my old Samsung phone decided to die right before the sale. So I am interviewing estate sale companies, trying to find one that will come in and do one asap. Trying to decide what to keep -- only a few things -- and what to sell is daunting. I will be reducing my living space by probably half. Below are some images I used on the announcement on Next Door and Facebook.
Some decisions are easy. I used to collect teapots and some of them remind me of old boyfriends who turned out to be jerks. The silver is easy to part with because I've grown really tired of polishing it over the years.
I dread the culling of things from my home but I also embrace a healthy degree of de-materialism. They are just THINGS and should never be cherished except as mementoes of people, is my philosophy.
Anyway, I keep looking for cardinals and other messengers of hope and healing, and they always show up..
