I asked my mother once how she was able to get to sleep when it was a tough night and it seemed like insomnia was going to win. She didn't have to think about it a long time. She said "I review, in my mind, all my happy memories. I go through each one, and relive the happiness." I asked her if any of those memories involved me, and she smiled. "Many of my memories include my children." That made me feel good.
I have had a difficult life in some ways and I've led a charmed life in some ways. When I get down, I try to remember the many times in my life when people have gone out of their way to be nice, and I try to focus on those memories and let go of the ones where people chose to be mean to me.
When I was ten years old we went to our cabin at Douglas Lake for the weekend. I felt like it was a really special birthday. I was a decade old! I was very impressed with myself. I had some gifts to open, but no cake. My mother usually bought us a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake for birthdays, which was a big treat, or she made a cake. That year she hadn't gotten it done. However, that was a really hard summer for Mom because just about 5 weeks before my birthday Mom's father, Papa Hasty, had died. Mother was devastated. Some days she didn't get out of bed until right before Dad came home because she was so depressed. So it should not have come as a surprise that she just forgot to get me a cake or take the ingredients to the lake to make me a cake. (The little fishing cabin was not air-conditioned so cooking a lot was a sweaty business.) I remember seeing the neighbor's wife outside that morning and telling her it was my birthday. Her name was IvaLee. I told her that my Mom forgot my cake, and how upset I was. Late that afternoon IvaLee walked over to our cabin with a homemade cake, with candles and everything, and we all had birthday cake. That sweet lady knew about Mom's grief and decided to help out. I have never forgotten that.
Skip ahead to 2004, and my adoption of my daughter from Russia. I was supposed to get home on a Friday in early December but I had bronchitis and I came home a couple of days early, miserably sick. I had to try and find someone to go to the airport on a Wednesday night around 9 and pick up me, my daughter, and a lot of luggage. I was exhausted about a 10 hour flight from Moscow. I had no cash for a taxi. I had emailed my friend Maria from Moscow, not knowing if it got through and asked if she could pick us up. She was a single mom too, and it was a school night. Nonetheless, she showed up at the airport with her son and got us and all our luggage. She took us out to dinner at Waffle House. Alesia could see photos of food and just point at what she wanted. Maria and her son were very welcoming, and after our late dinner they took us home and helped get all that luggage up the stairs, which was quite a chore. I was so exhausted I went to bed and slept for 12 hours without moving. Maria and her son were a godsend.
In 2015 I was trying to establish a freelance writing career. I had been blogging since 2005 but there weren't many articles on the internet with my name on them. My fri end David Moore who was then head of the Historic Oakland Foundation, let me interview him for the Blue Mountain Review. [You can see the issue here, but you need to go to page 103] Oakland Cemetery is a public park and a wonderful time capsule of Atlanta history. David and I drove all over the grounds on a golf cart and David told me many fascinating stories about the folks buried there, including golfer Bobby Jones and author Margaret Mitchell. A week or so later I sent my son Michael down to take photos and David took Michael all around so he could make photos for my article. I was so delighted with how the article turned out, and it was so kind of David to take the time to take both me and my son all over that huge cemetery. I will always be thankful to him for that.
My friend Dana took a day off of work in 2001 and took me to have my wisdom teeth removed, then drove me home and stayed with me until my brother could get there. That was undoubtedly a very boring day for her, but I was so thankful for her help.
I am not a rich person but I am rich in having wonderful friends.
When I was a caretaker for my mom from about 2015 to 2020 there were many times when my friends Bronwyn and Lesleigh came to my rescue. When I had my hysterectomy in 2013, Lesleigh spent the night with me at the hospital. On other occasions, she spent the night with my mom at the hospital, so I could be with my kids. My beautiful friend Bronwyn came many times and stayed with Elva for me so I could have a break.
Next time you are feeling down, remember the many times in your life that you have been blessed by kindnesses from others.
