When I was ready to adopt a second child I knew I wanted a boy and I wanted a child with some sort of special need, who would nonetheless be capable and independent one day. I had so many people tell me I would not be able to stand the stress of parenting a "handicapped" child as a single mom. They were genuinely caring and concerned. I spotted this little guy on a website and knew instantly he was my son:
I got in touch with a nonprofit that made trips to Kazakhstan and could give me some inside information about Igor and his condition, and they reported he was a friendly, outgoing little guy who did well in school and was liked by the teachers and kids -- and he could dress himself, bathe, etc. They were right. He is completely autonomous. I've never had to do ANY caretaking for Michael.
Everyone who thought he would be a burden to me was utterly and completely WRONG. He is an enormous blessing.
Never assume that someone who is missing a limb is handicapped. Never assume that someone in a wheelchair isn't capable. Never assume a brain injury automatically makes someone helpless. I have a friend who is a veteran who suffered a TBI [traumatic brain injury] and he now runs a nonprofit and is a leader in his field and makes a great living [but doesn't take any $ from the nonprofit]. He is one of the most brilliant, energetic, articulate people I've every known.
I've known people who had a wonky ankle and thought of themselves as handicapped.
Being "handicapped" has nothing to do with physical issues and everything to do with ATTITUDE. My son Michael has the attitude that he can do anything he wants to do, and he is right!
Yesterday he made lasagna and brownies to take as a thank-you gift to some friends who recently did him a favor. He delivered the lasagna and homemade brownies that he made with great good humor, and his friends knew they were getting delicious food and his smiling face delivering it. Below, Mike making the lasagna.
At right, a funny shirt a co-worker gave him.
We laugh all the time about him telling people a lion bit off his hand, or he lost it in some climbing accident or some other silliness.
We think laughter is healing.
When Mike was wearing a prosthetic and learning to ride a bike, years ago, he fell off the bike but his prosthetic stayed put and it looked like his hand was severed.. a lady drove by in her car and nearly wrecked it when she saw the hand on the handlebars and no boy attached. LOL
Laughter heals.
My mother used to always say "If you don't laugh, you'll cry," and she was right. We laugh a lot.
Below, a drawing Michael did years ago. He is a very talented artist.
