The Crab Chronicles

Bizarre Art

My uncle Lewis was a fine artist and a professor of art at Hollins University for more than thirty years. I grew up surrounded by his paintings. It never occurred to me we were in any way unusual because we had original oil paintings in our house. Among the paintings were two portraits of my father's parents in our dining room for many years. (I thought everyone had real living breathing grandparents and other grandparents just in paintings.)

I have always been fascinated by art and by artists.

I don't much care for most contemporary art, but I don't hate it or have a closed mind to it, either.

I was astonished recently to see the photo below of a new sculpture in Chicago that is supposed to honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his wife. To me it looks... well, bizarre is the kindest word I can use.

According to an NBC news story:

"The bronze structure, which is 20 feet long and 26 feet wide and titled “The Embrace,” depicts the arms, shoulders and hands of the Kings hugging after Martin received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964, the moment immortalized in a famous photo."

Does this look like two people embracing?

To me, it looks like severed arms are holding a giant bean or a giant poop.

The photo that inspired the sculpture can be seen on this page. It's lovely. I also admire the aim of the sculpture, as stated on the website:

"The Embrace is intended to inspire visitors to reflect on the values of racial and economic justice that both Kings espoused."

What is sad and disturbing to me is that this sculpture detracts from the message, because it's so bizarre.

For many years, this quote has been on my email signature: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only love can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I love that quote because it's so true, and it's profound. Dr. King faced terrible danger many times in his life. He went to jail for his beliefs. He was assassinated because he had the courage to fight for a more just world. He deserves to be honored with a beautiful, dignified memorial.

The artist who did the sculpture, Hank Willis Thomas, likes sculptures of severed arms and hands, as you can see here and here.

My son only has one hand, so you may be thinking I am particularly sensitive to depictions of hands and arms. Nope. I am just utterly puzzled that this sculpture was approved by many people before it was installed.

The artist wants viewers and visitors to the site to feel "...the same spirit of love and unity that the Kings embodied" [source] and that's certainly noble, but I don't think that's what viewers feel.

Some wags on Twitter said: "it is horrifically bad" / "Did they run out of bronze?" / "The picture [of the Kings embracing] is boring since it doesn't have the two-armed monstrosity holding an "eggplant" while walking on its elbows." / "This evokes confusion." / "What I got from the statue was that it should be illegal to electrocute a contortionist." / "Viewed without faces, the sculpture looks degrading & laughably sexual. It’s terrible." / Context doesn't help, as this guy argued. Still looks like a giant turd."

As much as I admired Dr. King, I find this statue bizarre and awful. It is controversial, which might have been the whole point...

 

A Handicap Is a State of Mind

When I was ready to adopt a second child I knew I wanted a boy and I wanted a child with some sort of special need, who would nonetheless be capable and independent one day. I had so many people tell me I would not be able to stand the stress of parenting a "handicapped" child as a single mom. They were genuinely caring and concerned. I spotted this little guy on a website and knew instantly he was my son:

I got in touch with a nonprofit that made trips to Kazakhstan and could give me some inside information about Igor and his condition, and they reported he was a friendly, outgoing little guy who did well in school and was liked by the teachers and kids -- and he could dress himself, bathe, etc. They were right. He is completely autonomous. I've never had to do ANY caretaking for Michael.

Everyone who thought he would be a burden to me was utterly and completely WRONG. He is an enormous blessing.

Never assume that someone who is missing a limb is handicapped. Never assume that someone in a wheelchair isn't capable. Never assume a brain injury automatically makes someone helpless. I have a friend who is a veteran who suffered a TBI [traumatic brain injury] and he now runs a nonprofit and is a leader in his field and makes a great living [but doesn't take any $ from the nonprofit]. He is one of the most brilliant, energetic, articulate people I've every known.

I've known people who had a wonky ankle and thought of themselves as handicapped.

Being "handicapped" has nothing to do with physical issues and everything to do with ATTITUDE. My son Michael has the attitude that he can do anything he wants to do, and he is right!

Yesterday he made lasagna and brownies to take as a thank-you gift to some friends who recently did him a favor. He delivered the lasagna and homemade brownies that he made with great good humor, and his friends knew they were getting delicious food and his smiling face delivering it. Below, Mike making the lasagna.

At right, a funny shirt a co-worker gave him.

We laugh all the time about him telling people a lion bit off his hand, or he lost it in some climbing accident or some other silliness.

We think laughter is healing.

When Mike was wearing a prosthetic and learning to ride a bike, years ago, he fell off the bike but his prosthetic stayed put and it looked like his hand was severed.. a lady drove by in her car and nearly wrecked it when she saw the hand on the handlebars and no boy attached. LOL

Laughter heals.

My mother used to always say "If you don't laugh, you'll cry," and she was right. We laugh a lot.

Below, a drawing Michael did years ago. He is a very talented artist.

 

Living a Public Life

I was always a fan of Princess Diana because we were almost the exact same age and I followed the reporting on her life with great fascination. I videotaped the coverage of her 1980 wedding to Prince Charles with great delight, because I didn't want to get up at the crack of dawn to watch it live.

When Diana died in 1997 I cried. You may think that's silly but like so many others, I felt great sadness. I felt really sad for her sons, having to finish their childhoods without her. They were already dealing with the relentless publicity they couldn't escape simply because of their family.

Harry's new memoir Spare, however, has me shaking my head in absolute disgust. Surely he must realize it's very unlikely that Charles and William will ever want to restore Harry to his former place in the family, in any capacity? The Oprah interview from a couple of years back was the first step in Harry burning his bridges. I am absolutely certain Harry knew, based on the backlash he got about interview, that publishing the book was not a good idea IF he wants to have any sort of healthy relationship with his dad and brother.

Oprah said later about her interview with Harry and Meghan, "I try to stay out of people's family business." Really? What did you think Harry and Meghan were going to talk about? Oprah chose her questions very carefully. I'm sure nothing was a surprise to her.

Harry said when he and Meghan left England and moved to Canada that he wanted to leave his royal life behind. Fine. Step out of the spotlight. Nobody is going to have a problem with that. Go in peace, to live however you want. Harry's uncle Prince Edward leads a very quiet, private life. It can be done.

However, then Harry left he started a media blitz [the Oprah interview, the 6 part Netflix series, now the autobiography and a lengthy 60 Minutes interview] guaranteed to keep him in the public eye.

Harry said of his brother William in the 60 Minutes interview "I love him deeply."

Really?

Is that the way anyone shows their love -- by saying hurtful things about them IN PUBLIC?!

If I could talk to Harry, I would say How can you claim you never intended to hurt your family and turn around and immediately spill your guts about them, telling stories that you must know will cause them great public embarrassment?

Let's turn it around. Let's say William started giving a lot of interviews telling unflattering stories about Harry to the press. Harry would be furious.

My take on it is this.

William and the rest of the royal family probably didn't treat Meghan exactly as she wanted to be treated, 100% of the time. I don't want to get into that controversy. I think that Meghan realized soon after her engagement that being part of the royal family was not going to be all fun and games. It's a serious business. Harry was part of the family business. Unlike most family businesses, though, there has always been a limit to what was revealed to the public, and for good reason. The royal family has endured a lot of scandals, dating back decades. The British press is relentless in their coverage, as Diana's death proved.

I think Harry and Meghan realized that if they just left, there would be a cessation of money, except for Harry's inheritance from his mother. However, Harry isn't hurting for money, as many sources report. He also inherited money from his great grandmother and he has earned money from when he was in the military. My point it simply that Harry didn't have to do any interviews. He wasn't hurting financially. He and Meghan could live lavishly without doing interviews and a Netflix series and publishing a book. They moved into a Montecito mansion that was recently listed for sale for $33 million dollars. They are looking for a new home because apparently 10,000 square feet just isn't enough space.

Waaaah. Call the wambulance.

Despite Harry's assertions that he wants to be closer to his father and brother, I think Harry and Meghan knew that Harry's revelations about his family would cause a permanent rift. Harry isn't a moron. The brother he is trashing is the future king of England. The father he is trashing is the current king.

The Netflix deal alone is estimated to have a $100 million payoff to Harry and Meghan.

So now Harry and his family can live a REALLY lavish lifestyle and never work another day, and the price was simply that he had to give up any hope of reconciliation with his family. As we know, Meghan is estranged from most of her family. If anyone referred to Meghan as the Yoko Ono of the royal family it wouldn't surprise me..

I think neither Harry nor Meghan realize, however, that a big portion of the public finds their behavior repugnant, and a lot of the public sympathy they gained for walking away from the royal life is gone now. A few minutes of research shows the Brits aren't too happy about Harry's whining.

I think soon a lot of folks will NOT be wild about Harry.

#princeharry, #meghanmarkle, #princessdiana, #spare, #sussex, #harryandwilliam, #harrywhiny,

Mama's Apron

It kind of makes me sad that my son has never watched me put on an apron and cook. I used to watch Mom do that and I always knew she was going to make something delicious, something memorable..

Ironically, since he is a cook in a restaurant, my son wears an apron every day. He views it as part of his work uniform, of course.

My apron memories are vivid and happy. I remember hugging my mom or my memaw when they were wearing an apron. The aprons always smelled like food -- in a good way, of course. I remember being a little kid and trying to hug my mom and ending up pressing my face against her apron, the softness of the cotton against my cheek.

Apron pockets always held something good.

My mom wrote about aprons in her blog, talking about her childhood and young years [1933-53]:

"Every day outfits for women were dresses , or skirts and blouses. They either had to be washed and ironed or dry cleaned, which was expensive.  Thus aprons were important.

We had everyday aprons that covered pretty much everything -- some with bibs, some without – or there was just the skirt type which Mother favored. She was so short that bibs were in the way.  During the World War II years, when we lived on a South Carolina farm, Mother sewed feed sack aprons, some with cheery, nice prints, as she was a good seamstress. She always added a large pocket, which was helpful. [at right is a photo of a flour sack apron made by my grandmother]

From about the time I was nine or ten, I was as tall as my mom [4’11], then much taller ‘til I got to be 5’3 or 5’4. So her aprons fit me just fine.

From time to time, my dad helped her in the kitchen, so she made aprons to suit his 6ft. 4in frame. He preferred plain white aprons with bibs. I still have one of the last ones she made him.  For years, I hung it in my kitchen so I could hug it from time to time. Seemed to bring him closer.. He mostly helped her on Sundays, after church, since he needed to protect his good clothes. We usually had a big Sunday dinner, in the middle of the day, that involved heavy lifting of roasts etc. Most of the cook pots and frying pans were heavy iron, especially the Dutch oven.

We often had guests for meals, so like most women, when it was time to eat the soiled apron was removed and replaced with a “company one” that was kind of pretty, often starched and ironed."

I have never come home from church, left on my "church clothes," tied on an apron and cooked a big Sunday dinner. I need to do that sometime, to keep the tradition alive and honor the women in my family who came before me, who did that just about every Sunday of their lives.

 

Some Sundays they packed up the food and went over to Chastain Park and had a potluck Sunday dinner. Below, Memaw and some of her sisters and kinfolks at the park. Memaw is in white. [I left it big so you could see the faces] I think, based on the shape of the shadow, that my mother took that shot..