In my family we really don't give expensive Christmas presents but ironically, I am here today because of an expensive Christmas present. A diamond. My dad was really bad at selecting Christmas presents unless you told him exactly what you wanted. Mom figured that out right off the bat.
St. Patrick's Day, 1956, Atlanta Georgia
Elva Hasty was a young college graduate in her first year of teaching, living with her parents. Her friend Babs was home from college and she decided to throw a party for St. Patrick's Day, at her parents' home in Atlanta. Babs invited her good friend Elva, who politely declined because she didn't have anyone to go with, but Babs was persistent.
"There will be a guy there with no date, a friend of the family, Tony Thompson. He's a little older than we are but he's nice. Come on to the party and he can be your date," she encouraged young Elva.
Elva thought about it and decided since she had nothing better to do, she would go to Babs' party. She arrived at the house and was greeted by Babs. "Go on back to the kitchen. Tony's in there talking to my dad," Babs told her.
Elva went into the kitchen and Tony was deep in conversation with Babs' father and barely looked at her. Babs' father introduced Elva and Tony. Tony said hello and kept talking to the older man. Elva stood there for a few minutes and then went into the living room and chatted with some of the other party guests, but she felt awkward since she had no date.
Finally, Elva decided it was a boring party and she preferred to just go back to her parents' house where she could read in private. She was a voracious reader.
She found Babs and said "I'm going to call my dad to come pick me up." Suddenly, Tony was there. "I'll be glad to drive you home, Miss Hasty."
Tony was working as an accountant for a chain of grocery stores, the Big Apple Stores. His mother was a retired schoolteacher.
They dated for a few months, then broke up during the summer of 1956. They got back together in September.
In late November, Tony arrived at Elva's parents' home late on a Sunday afternoon, and Elva was furious. He had promised to be there hours earlier, and Elva had carefully dressed and fixed her hair and makeup, then then just sat, waiting on Tony. She didn't have a way to call him. He had moved back to Augusta and was just in Atlanta for a weekend visit. She didn't know the name of the aunt he was staying with, or the phone number. She figured he had probably forgotten he was going to see her, so she re-dressed, not caring how she looked.
Tony finally arrived, late in the afternoon. He found Elva wearing old dungarees and a tee shirt of her brothers, her face scrubbed clean of makeup, hair pulled back in a ponytail. He was surprised because she had never looked so sloppy before. He quickly realized she was furious.
"OK so listen up," she said curtly. "I'm almost 23 years old and I'm not getting any younger. [Her aunt Miriam actually had her Sunday School class praying every Sunday that Elva would find a husband before it was too late!] I'm ready to get married and settle down. I want four kids and a dog, and I plan to stay home. If you aren't interested in getting married, that's fine, I won't waste any more time on you. If you are interested in getting married and starting a family, tell me now. I'm tired of waiting."
She basically gave him an ultimatum.
There was no dramatic proposal with him on one knee. No ardent declarations of love. Elva was ready to get married and he could either fish or cut bait. [Keep in mind that in those days, nice girls didn't sleep with anyone unless they were married and Elva was a nice girl.]
Tony agreed, but Elva wasn't done.
"I've been seeing another guy all summer and he says he's in love with me. I told him if he wants to marry me he needs to bring me a diamond. Same goes for you. The first guy who gives me a proposal AND a diamond, I'll marry."
[Many years later, I asked Tony if he had loved her at first sight and he said YES! Elva told me she didn't feel the same; he was really skinny and not very good at communicating. Eventually, they became great friends. One of my best childhood memories is hearing them talking and laughing together at night, when I was supposed to be in bed asleep.]
On Christmas Day, 1956, Tony Thompson showed up at Elva's parents' house with a diamond ring and a proposal. She agreed to marry him. He casually said "I want to get married right away, and I want a BIG wedding!" Six weeks later, they were married at First Baptist Church in Atlanta.
That proposal and that lovely diamond ring are why my father's name was Tony Thompson, not Tom Bell.
left, Tony and Elva's engagement photo
right, a few years later, Elva with her children Bruce and Dee [me]
If you like interesting and/or funny stories, check out my latest book, Talking Back, Stories from the Big Hair and Pantyhose Years, available on Amazon
