Not long before she died my mother told me a story about something I had totally forgotten about. I've been thinking about that recently.
When I was about 7 years old I kept seeing a commercial on TV for a doll dressed like a ballerina, and when you pushed down on the crown atop her head she spun around. I was enthralled with that doll and I begged my parents to get her for me. She was rather expensive, and we lived on just my father's salary as a young bank officer, so my parents budgeted carefully to make ends meet. My mother thought that doll was ridiculous and had little "play value." She was very smart and Dad had enough sense to follow her lead when it came to buying toys.
However, I made a big fuss, so on Christmas morning, I got the doll as part of my Santa Claus.
I was thrilled -- for about ten minutes. I loved her pretty ballerina outfit and she did indeed spin around when I pressed the crown on her head. However, I quickly grew tired of her.
I completely forgot about that doll, for years.
My mother never forgot wasting that money on something that only held my attention for a few minutes.
We lived in a house in Augusta that had extensive woods behind it. When I was between the ages of 5 and 8, my mother allowed me to go for walks in the woods, as long as my older brother went along to keep an eye on me. (When I was 8, we moved.) Mom had no idea that we had a secret play fort back in the woods, made with scraps of wood, and it provided us with hours of imaginative play. There was also a small creek, and we loved to splash around in it on hot days, and sometimes we fished in it. It was too shallow for swimming.
I remember our forays into those woods as some of the happiest times of my childhood.
I know parents today are often fearful of letting children roam around in woods but children learn to be independent and creative by exploring outside areas on their own. If my kids were not grown I would make an effort to get them outside in the woods. I would teach them to fish, too.
As a child, I loved to fish. I have happy memories of going fishing with my brother and my parents. 
Right, my paternal grandfather showing a fish he caught. He loved to fish and he taught his sons.
Daddy had me fishing at the age of five, and I loved the thrill of pulling in a fish. We just used cane poles and cork or plastic floats.
We always ate the fish we caught.
The rule was, if you caught the fish you had to clean it. I would behead the fish, gut it, and scrape off the scales, under Dad's supervision, of course. Then they would go into the skillet after Mom dipped them into the cornmeal batter. Dad always de-boned my fish for me.
Homecooked fried fish, pulled out of a pond or lake just a couple of hours earlier -- sublimely delicious.
A few years ago I was in a client meeting with an older man, and the attorney I worked for was trying to get him ready for his deposition. The old man was nervous. The attorney kept badgering him. I felt sorry for the old man. We took a break and the lawyer left the room, clearly frustrated. When he came in a few minutes later the old man was eagerly showing me photos on his phone of all the fish he had caught recently. I correctly identified the bigmouth bass, crappie, and catfish. We talked about bait. The old man was smiling and relaxed.
When the old man had left, the lawyer looked at me like I was from Mars. "How did you know so much about fish?" he asked, his voice incredulous. He had grown up in New York City, in an affluent family.
"I learned how to fish when I was about five years old. It was a fun family activity, for us," I explained. "I could bait my own hook, catch fish, and clean them, before I was old enough to read. You should take your sons fishing."
"I've never been fishing in my life," he replied.
I couldn't say it because he was my boss but I wanted to say Well maybe if you had gone fishing as a boy you'd be a nicer person instead of a condescending, uptight jerk!
He had zero people skills, except with other rich people.
Left, me and my brother at the lake
I was always outdoors, as a kid. I didn't have any expensive toys but I had a lot of fun anyway.
My early efforts at "cooking outdoors" involved an old metal bucket, the hose, and an old spoon. I made "soup" using acorns, pinecones, and mud. I spent hours playing that way.
One summer, after we moved to Tennessee, we spent a lot of time at our little cabin on the lake and my brother and I made a raft out of scrap wood and played Huck Finn on the Mississippi -- great fun. Hours of fun.
I bet that lawyer never made mud soup, or played Huck Finn, or made a play fort in the woods either. I bet he never caught and cleaned a bass.
Instead of expensive toys, get your kids outside.
Let them use their imaginations. Tell them to pretend they are pioneers, or explorers in the wilderness, or stranded on the moon.
Give them an old blanket and let them have a picnic in the back yard.
On rainy days, show them how to build a "fort" in the family room, from blankets and cushions.
Let them build bird houses, and put out suet. Teach them how to identify common birds.
My mother often turned off the TV and told us to "Get outside and play." We made up our own games. We knew every inch of the yard. We "camped" in the yard. We raked leaves and played in the big piles. We played in the sprinkler on hot days.
My dad never made the kind of money a lawyer makes. He didn't wear Brooks Brothers suits. However, he spent a lot of time teaching his children how to love the outdoors and how to use our imaginations, and I will always be grateful for that.
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