The Crab Chronicles

The BEST Thanksgiving and the WORST Thanksgiving

When I was a kid we had two kinds of Thanksgivings, the ones with the extended family and the ones with just the four of us. Over the years we would sometimes get together with my mom's two brothers and their families for Thanksgiving, but not every year. 

Left, about 1968 or '69, with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. I am in front wearing blue pants and a red jacket.

The holidays with the extended family were always fun, because my mom and both aunts and my grandmother were all wonderful cooks. Nobody has ever equaled my mom's homemade dressing, as I explained in an article for The Cook's Cook a couple of years ago, Enjoy Elva's Cornbread Dressing. I was unaware there was anything other than cornbread dressing until I was almost grown. One year when it was just the four of us, Mom made a small pan of oyster dressing in addition to the standard one. It was delicious, but not something she did every year. In addition to the dressing, the Hasty Thanksgivings also included the standards: turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, pies.

The BEST Thanksgiving was in 1970, when the family gathered at Amicalola Falls in North Georgia, and rented a cabin in the mountains. I slept on the floor in the main room with my cousins, in a sleeping bag, but I didn't mind. I got to play with my cousin Linda, and my brother played with Bill, her twin. We were all happy to be together. The food was marvelous, too, of course.

One of the highlights was my uncle Don showing all of us a cassette tape recorder. In 1970 that was hi tech, exciting stuff! He worked in the corporate office of GE and always got to use the latest techno wizardry. He recorded all of us kids, and some grownups, talking about the weekend. Years later, he and my aunt found that tape and had copies made and sent a copy to each family. I still have it. It's one of my most prized possessions. A few years ago I played the tape on an old boombox and I recorded a snippet of my grandmother's voice and it's stored now on my desktop, where I can listen to it any time. I love hearing her voice again.

Linda recently sent me a copy of some of the home movies her dad made that weekend and I got such a kick out of seeing those. I had forgotten that I was a Hot Mess. I am constantly turning cartwheels and jumping around and pretending to be a ballerina. I had forgotten I was such a lively kid.

My grandmother was a prankster, all her life, and I never really knew that until that weekend. The second night, she announced she was going to bed early, then snuck out of the cabin and went to her car and put on some old clothes and a wig and hat, and then came and knocked on the door, cigarette dangling, and asked my cousin Robert for a light. (She wasn't a smoker, in reality.) Always polite, he said "I'm sorry I don't have one, but maybe my dad can help." My uncle Bobby appeared, took one look, and knew it was Memaw. He kept bending down to see her face, and she kept dropping her head down because she didn't want him to see it was her, which was pretty hilarious (we all agreed later) because Bobby was 6'3 and Memaw was 4'11! I stood back and watched it all, fascinated. Years later, long after Memaw had died, Mom told me of some of her escapades as a young girl and even as a young mother, including dressing up as a vagrant for Halloween, with a friend, and playing practical jokes on all the neighbors.

The summer before that had been particularly awful for our little family. My mother had been in the hospital, very ill with blood clots in her legs, Daddy had to have emergency hemorrhoid surgery, my brother had been horribly bullied at school, and I had been sick with pneumonia for 3 weeks. Thanksgiving with the family was a welcome change.

The Thanksgiving in the mountains was the last time all of us would be together with my Memaw and Papa Hasty. We didn't know it then, but in January of 1971 our family would move to Knoxville, Tennessee, and be about 4 hours' drive from my grandparents, and my uncle Bobby and his family. About 18 months later my grandfather would die, as a complication of surgery on his hip.

In the coming years there would only be a couple of get-togethers of all the Hastys, as the distances were too great, then of course all of my generation grew up and scattered across several states.

So that was the best Thanksgiving.

The worst Thanksgiving was actually comical, in hindsight.

My brother married a lady who I won't name here but she was very strange. I think she was Bipolar, or something. She was always making crazy plans that she insisted would come to pass but they never did. After my father died, around 1997 or 1998, my brother and sister in law came to my mother's house in Augusta for Thanksgiving. They had no children, but two dogs, who came with them, all in one car. Mom and I were there, working on the big meal to be shared that night. We were all in the kitchen, talking. Sis said that on Christmas she and my brother would be in Colorado, either in a hotel or camping. That struck me as odd because my brother hates camping, and Colorado is a long way from South Carolina.

After my sister in law made her bizarre announcement, I looked at my mother, and she looked stricken. Mom always wanted her children home on Christmas -- the only time she was really insistent on that.

I said "Have you all made reservations? Booked flights?" I suspected it was just another wild idea. Oh no, she said, but it was going to happen. I said "Well couldn't you just wait until the day after Christmas maybe? or before Christmas, so y'all could be with us on Christmas Day??"

"But we want to go to Colorado for Christmas!" she insisted. I looked at my brother's face, and he looked super annoyed, like this crazy plan was news to him.

"I'm not saying don't go, I'm just saying be flexible with the dates," I said.

I wasn't yelling. I wasn't visibly angry, just annoyed. I knew my mother was on the verge of tears, anticipating two holidays being ruined by my sister in law -- a new record, for her.

Instead of engaging in a discussion, sister just screamed at me "You are SUCH a BITCH! We're leaving!" and she grabbed her two dogs, and her car keys, and hustled out the back door. I had never seen her move that fast. My brother looked horrified.  "I'm sorry, Mom. I would stay but I'd have no way to get back to Columbia," he apologized. He had to literally run out the door, as his wife was already backing down the driveway. He told us later he had to yell at her to get her to stop so he could get in!

So that year it was just me and Mom, and Mom was very upset. I think we ended up just eating canned soup or sandwiches.

Fortunately, a couple of years later my brother divorced the Crazy Lady.

The one really good thing to result from that awful Thanksgiving? I never saw my sister in law again. Haven't see her since, and that was about 25 years ago. I hope I never see her again. My brother divorced her but they stayed friends. They still occasionally meet for lunch. She actually had the nerve to tell him she wanted to be friends with Mom again, about 15 years ago. Brother mentioned it when visiting us. Mom said NO WAY. She had welcomed my sister in law to the family and treated her like her own child, but when Elva was done with someone, she was DONE. She never forgot, did forgive eventually, but was quite capable of cutting someone entirely out of her life when they didn't act right.

I think sis was/is mentally ill, and my brother eventually came to agree with me. I did exact a little revenge though, as only a writer can. In one of my books there is a character that is a total screwup, an obnoxious young woman who acts like a ho, and I gave her my sister in law's name.

To all y'all out there, I hope your Thanksgiving is lovely, and you are with family and/or friends. It will just be me and my son, and that's fine. We will just eat a lot [pork roast, as we aren't wild about turkey] and watch movies all day.

Check out my new novel Dancing in the Wreckage, on Amazon

Kitchen Hacks and Food Hacks

I realized today that there are some kitchen hacks that I’ve used for many years that not everyone knows about, which is amazing to me. Then again, I’ve been cooking and cleaning up since I was about 5 years old, so that’s more than half a century of experience!

I was also a busy working mom for years so I had to learn some new kitchen hacks..

I’ve been making my son batches of chicken salad recently because it makes a great and healthy snack. The recipe is simple – cold diced chicken, mayo, diced seedless grapes, diced pecans, chopped onion, and diced celery. There are three hacks here. One, take a fresh lime and halve it and use lots of fresh lime juice. It’s also great on tuna salad. Lime juice is sweeter and has no seeds so I like it much better than lemon juice. Two, take a paring knife and strip the strings off the celery, and it’s much easier to chew. In terms of seasonings, I go in heavy with onion powder, garlic powder, celery salt, and powdered curry seasoning by McCormick.

Cutting cakes and brownies: put Pam on the knife blade to prevent it from getting gunked up.

Peeling hardboiled eggs: hold the egg under running water while you peel it.

Easy Pie: Do you need to take something to a potluck but you don’t cook or bake and you are tired of buying paper plates/cups or ice? Take an ice cream pie! Buy a graham cracker piecrust at the store, and a 1.5 quart tub of ice cream [we are partial to Mayfield] and let it soften on the kitchen counter for 30 minutes. Spoon it into the piecrust and smooth it out. Pop it back into the freezer until it’s time to leave. If you want to get fancy, buy a plain Hershey bar and smash it up, and sprinkle it on top of the pie, or buy chocolate syrup and drizzle it on top before freezing.

Most people will love this Green Bean Salad. My kids loved it. Buy some Del Monte canned green beans – 4 or 5 regular-sized cans. Drain them in a colander, then put them in a bowl. Cut up an onion and add it. Add some diced cucumber if you like, and some original Ranch dressing, onion powder, and lots of dill weed. Leave out the raw onion if your kids won’t eat it - onion powder is easier anyway.

Do you want your kids to eat veggies and find them resistant? Boil that cauliflower or broccoli until really soft. Not mush, but not at all crunchy, either. Pop it into a mixing bowl and take a hand blender and puree it and add: mayo and mustard / real butter and garlic salt / cream of mushroom soup and mayo. Any one of these combos is improved with grated cheese. Don’t sweat the cholesterol in real butter and mayo, unless your child has high cholesterol, which is rare. Call it creamed cauliflower or creamed broccoli and serve it in little dishes topped with cheese and paprika so it looks “partyfied.”

Potatoes are great, cheap and filling and they can make an easy dinner. Scrub your large spuds and wipe them dry, then poke holes in them with a fork, grease them with oil, and sprinkle salt all over them. Wrap them in foil and bake them at 400 for 45-60 minutes. Bake ten at a time and stick them in the fridge to pull out for meals later. When it’s time for dinner, pull them out and open them up and top them with cheese, bacon bits, butter, sour cream, broccoli, chili, etc. Run them under the broiler for a few minutes or just microwave them.

Beef Roast: buy a bottle of decent Sherry or red wine, and add 1-2 cups of it, along with lots of soy sauce and fresh garlic. I like to use bought beef stock, too [see photo]. Soy sauce and liquor always make beef better. In fact, if you have a crock pot, throw in your beef roast, wine, broth, garlic and soy sauce along with a couple of cans of potatoes and a package of baby carrots and cook on high for 6-8 hours and you have a one dish dinner. Prep time is 5-10 minutes. If you leave your meat on the kitchen counter for an hour before popping it in the crock pot it will be much more tender.

Super Easy Chili dinner: My crock pot chili is a super easy one dish meal. I use 1-2 lbs. of ground beef, 2-4 cans of Bush’s chili beans, chopped onion, a can of Rotel, several cans of tomato puree, and a can of pumpkin. Yes, pumpkin! It absorbs the chili flavors and nobody knows they are eating pumpkin. If you hate chopping onion, use lots of onion powder. / I made this chili years ago for a party, and of course bought Fritos and grated cheese because those make chili much better. One of my son’s friends who was a super picky eater ate a huge bowl of it. His mother called me the next day and said he had raved about how much he loved Dee’s chili. I rattled off the ingredients. His mom is a great cook herself. She was astonished he had not noticed the pumpkin. I asked her what she put in her chili. She said grated carrots! No wonder the kid didn’t like it.

Cleaning scrubby pads and brushes: rinse them off and then put them in the dishwasher and run them through.

Cleaning any pot or pan: if there are baked-on glops of food or food residue, put in a cup or two of water and heat the pan on the stove for a few minutes. The warmed water will loosen the gunk so you can scrape it off.

Cleaning the microwave: put water into a sturdy [think, Pyrex] cup and heat it for 5 minutes. Go in with a dry paper towel to get big stuff, then a wet paper towel for the final pass.

Cleaning the counter: Do you have some sticky mess on your kitchen counter? Boil some water and put a dollop on the mess and wait a couple of minutes. It should come off really easily then.

Want more recipes and/or tips? A couple of years ago I wrote a little cookbook, What's for Dinner, Mom? and it's available on Amazon. My mother's memoir, Singing to the Cows, also has a lot of recipes and more cooking tips.

Thanksgiving Dinner for Non Cooks

I just realized that I made a Thanksgiving dinner that anyone could make, whether or not they like to cook. Seriously. I love to cook, but this year I wasn't in the mood. I also don't like turkey, so we rarely have it. At most, I might go to Honeybaked Ham and buy a couple of lbs. of sliced smoked turkey and make homemade dressing.

My brother couldn't come since he has to work tomorrow, and I don't have any family close by, so Thanksgiving was just me, my son Michael, and his roommate.

Mike and Landon came over about 1:30 and we had our meal. I had put a pork tenderloin in the oven early this morning and let it cook low and slow. There was orange juice in the bottom of the pan, then I had marinated the little roast in soy sauce, honey, and onion powder, with a lot of apricot preserves on top. Five hours at 300 degrees, with the pan covered. Really came out tender and flavorful, and not too sweet. Anyone could make this recipe. Seriously simple. [Note: if you prefer turkey, this is how my parents always cooked the bird and it was delicious: wash the bird, dry it, and salt it, then cover it in butter, wrap it in foil and bake it according to the package directions, occasionally basting. I prefer getting the slices of smoked turkey from Honeybaked Ham...]

 

My mom made the best dressing in the world. (I wrote about it here.) I started to make dressing last night and realized I had no cornmeal in the apartment. I had bought stovetop stuffing, just to make it easier to make dressing. (Tearing up stale bread is my least-favorite part of making dressing.) But I could not make cornbread dressing without cornbread, so I just made Stovetop stuffing, two packages. I used chicken broth and a lot of extra butter and it turned out fairly tasty. [Yes, my mother is flipping over in her grave but hopefully next year I will have a bigger kitchen and I will remember to buy cornmeal...)

 

I was going to make a broccoli casserole and I realized that since I only have one oven, that was complicated. So I fixed the casserole but on the stove top. I thawed a package of frozen broccoli and steamed it. I made a sauce of cream of mushroom soup, mayo, butter, and parmesan cheese, with some extra garlic and onion powders. Mixed it in a bowl, then microwaved it a minute and mixed again. Super easy. Pour it over the broccoli. It was tasty. I unfortunately had not cooked enough broccoli but we each got a small helping. Then Michael asked if he could just finish it. I said sure. I thought he was going to lick the bowl. That's basically the broccoli casserole recipe except I used parmesan instead of grated cheddar because I didn't have any grated cheese, and had no Ritz crackers to put on top.

 

For dessert, I had ordered a coffee cake from Feridies and served that. Delicious -- most bought cakes are not great, but this cake was fantastic! (Highly recommend it if you are looking for gift ideas.) Landon just had three teeth filled and Michael is getting a crown on a tooth next week so the cake was a better idea than pecan pie. All the food I served today was soft and easily chewable. I will make a pecan pie at Christmas, when everyone can chew normally, hopefully.

 

After lunch we watched Red Notice on Netflix. Funny movie. Hope everyone has a safe and pleasant holiday weekend!

 

Three Easy Meals

I've been cooking since I was 5 years old. Non-cooks, I will let you in on a little secret -- you don't have to have a PhD in Culinary Arts to know how to make tasty, easy-peasy meals. You just have to learn how to 1) follow a simple recipe, and 2) not feel bad about taking shortcuts.

My favorite recipes are like this: turn on the oven to the proper temp, take a bunch of ingredients [example: pumpkin, sugar, eggs, flour, oil, spices] and put them into a bowl and mix them together really well. Pour the batter into a container [loaf pan, casserole dish, etc.] and cook as long as the recipe says to cook. It's usually a good idea to spray Pam or rub olive oil into the container so the food will easily come out of the container. Oh, and the tricky step -- plan what you want to cook, find the recipe [easy with Google] and go buy the ingredients if you don't have them on hand.

I thought about this Friday night when I was preparing my dinner. When I buy groceries from Publix I like to get 1 or 2 salmon filets, bourbon salmon flavor. I put the filets in a small dish and pour in about half a cup of orange juice, cover the dish with foil, and bake that for about 30 minutes. I fix a veggie, and that's dinner. If you're feeding a family you might want to add rice or potatoes.We like Bob Evans mashed potatoes -- we add in lots of butter, cheese, and garlic salt.

Voila. You're a cook. That's Meal #1, salmon and veggies.

Here's another easy meal. [Meal #2, hamburgers]

Take my meatloaf recipe [below] and make hamburgers. Use ground turkey if you don't eat beef. Make your patties and pop them into a hot skillet for two minutes, then flip them. Also in the skillet, throw in some portobello mushrooms, half a stick of butter, a cup of red wine or sherry and half an onion, chopped. Cover and cook on low for 20 minutes. Top each burger with cheese before serving.

1 lb. ground sirloin                1 large egg

Soy sauce                                 Red wine

1 cup breadcrumbs              olive oil

Onion powder                         Garlic powder

1 Tbsp. Ketchup                    baking powder

minced garlic or garlic powder

 

Everyone seems to love chicken a lot more than I do, so for Meal #3 [Chicken Taco Soup] I will grudgingly throw in a chicken recipe. This one is so easy it's almost embarrassing to tell you. Take your boneless chicken filets and wash them. Dry on paper towels. Cut off anything that looks weird. Salt and pepper each side and let them sit out for 30 minutes. One big mistake lots of amateur cooks make is they don't salt their chicken properly.

Get out your crock pot. If you don't have one, buy one. Even if you live alone, you need one. You can always freeze whatever you cannot eat.

Throw into the pot a can of black beans, a can of corn, a can of tomato puree, a packet of taco seasoning mix, and rice [optional]. We like Cento brand, because it doesn't have a bunch of chemicals in it. Cook on low for 4 hours, and shred chicken with a fork before serving. Serve picante sauce on the side.

Whenever I don't feel like fixing a veggie, I throw a Stouffer's Spinach souffle into the microwave.

Another super easy veggie: cabbage. I buy shredded cabbage and fix Eggroll Cabbage. Saute the cabbage in a pan with hot oil, and add soy sauce, garlic, onion or onion powder. Cook on low for 10 minutes.

You can find these and other easy recipes in my cookbook: What's for Dinner, Mom? on Amazon.

 

What's for Dinner, Mom? (My new cookbook)

When I became a first-time mom at age 41, to a 13 year old, it was a huge challenge to go from 20 years as a singleton to being a mom to a child who spoke no English. I tried making Russian foods [borscht, black bread, seerniki] but of course they didn't taste as good as what she was used to. I was accustomed to eating something like a can of soup for dinner, or cheese and crackers. I wanted to feed my child better, so I learned how to really cook, for a family. Six months after bringing her home I bought a house and Mom moved in with us, so I had my teacher right there, which helped.

I was blessed to be raised by a mother who loved to cook and who encouraged me and my brother to get in the kitchen and experiment. My dad loved to cook, too, but his repertoire was limited to mostly breakfast foods and putting meat on the grill. That's okay -- he had two brothers whose wives were such terrific cooks their husbands had no idea how to do anything in the kitchen. My mom's attitude was not "stay out of my way" but "go for it!"

I think every recipe in What's for Dinner, Mom? has a little anecdote or story. That's what makes a cookbook interesting, to me. I want to know how you discovered the recipe, or did you make it up yourself? Did your great aunt refuse to give out the cookie recipe and your aunt finally figure it out? Will your child eat this and no other veggie?!

Years ago [long before Amazon made it easy] I helped Mom write a cookbook, and we just got copies made at Kinko's. Family and friends liked it a lot. You can still sometimes find copies floating around out there of Elva's Blue Scallop Cookbook. My aunt sold it for a while at her store in Myrtle Beach.

 

  If you've been reading my blog for a while you know I write about food, a lot. When I care about someone I love to cook for them. Making someone happy with food is my "love language."

In these weird and difficult days, we are staying home more, cooking more, and hopefully loving on our families more!

Check out my book today.

It's only $8 so buy copies for friends!

 

Ten Things To Do On Your Corona-cation

Are you stuck at home, wondering what on earth to do with yourself? Tired of watching the news channels, with their predictions of gloom and doom? Here are some things to do while you're on your self-quarantine, or as I like to think of it, your Corona-cation.

Keep in mind, I have been working from home for several years now, so not much has changed for me, except my mom is in a rehab facility so I am not taking care of her right at the moment -- hopefully that will change soon.

Sitting on the couch watching TV gets old after a while. Try to view this time as an opportunity to get your house and your stuff in order.

#10 Get ready for spring -- here in the Deep South we're already experiencing warm days and frosty night are over, so that's my perspective. If you're in a colder climate, you may have to wait a bit. Head to the garden store with your debit card in your pocket, wearing your garden gloves, and pick up some seeds or some tiny sprouts, and get your garden underway. If you're not into gardening outside, pick up some easy house plants to care for, like Philodendrons, or Mother In Law's Tongue.

#9 Clean out your closet. Get rid of all those clothes you've been saving for ten years.

#8 Go through your food stores and throw out the expired food. You know there's some back in there, like that jar of artichoke hearts you've had since '08.

#7 Write a letter. I bet you have elderly family members or friends who don't do email or social media. Write them a personal letter and mail it off. You will brighten their day.

#6 I bet all your photos are now on your computer, scattered in a million different folders. Go through them and take every photo you really love, and put it on a thumb drive or external hard drive. In the event of an emergency, you can grab that a lot faster and easier than bulky photo albums.

#5 Find recipes for foods you have on hand. You don't have to be a gourmet cook to follow a recipe. You can use that jar of spaghetti sauce as the base of a hearty vegetable soup, for instance.

#4 Clean out your car. You normally spend a ton of time in the car. When was the last time you went out there with the Windex and the vacuum and really gave it a thorough cleaning?!

#3 Phone a friend. I am always saying there aren't enough hours in the day. Well now there are. Phone that old college roommate you haven't spoken to in several years, or the cousin you always loved seeing at family reunions. Phone visits are a great way to stay in touch. 

#2 Foods that are easy to store, like peanut butter and hot dogs, are now hard to find in the store. Fresh meat and veggies are not hard to find, though. Sharpen up your kitchen knives and get to peeling and chopping. Here's a tip: greens like spinach or cabbage are great if you saute them for a few minutes in some olive oil, and add balsamic vinegar and garlic salt [or powder, or fresh garlic].

#1 Break out the board games and get busy. Monopoly, Clue, Battleship, Trivial Pursuit -- all great ways to pass the time, and fun!

above, my son makes cookies

 

Kitchen Tips for Lazy People

Don't you hate hacks and tips for people who sound like they have a ton of money and a full-time maid? Or tips for people who are what I call Major League Foodies? I am proud to say I'm a Minor League Foodie. [I could write a whole other blog on THAT distinction.]

I advised a lady on my community Facebook group the other day to cease her search for perfect cornbread and just buy a bag of Fritos to eat with chili. Her response was that it had never occurred to her to just eat Fritos instead of cornbread. You're welcome. [Then I got to thinking about cornbread and, well, guess we had for dinner last night? Yep, pinto beans and cornbread.]

Hack #1: When you make chili, put a can of pureed pumpkin in with your chopped or pureed tomatoes. Nobody will be able to tell it's there -- trust me, I've tested this on my picky family several times. They won't know, particularly if you are good about spicing up your chili. Lots of garlic and onion. Maybe half a can of beer. Ground beef. Bush's chili beans, pintos - so you don't spend three days chewing tough beans. Pumpkin goes unnoticed. Then you have a one dish meal because there's a veggie in there. Years ago a boy came over to my house and inhaled two big bowls of my chili. I talked to his mama a day or two later and she was quite taken aback because he barely touched chili when she made it. I questioned her about her chili. Turns out, she put grated carrots in it. No wonder the kid didn't like it.

Hack #2: Clorox is a wonderful product. [No, they aren't paying me to say that.] I bought some Clorox splashless recently - didn't mean to. Just didn't read the label. Splashless comes out thick. You couldn't make it splash if you were a magician. Here's the beauty part, though: I have a white kitchen sink and it cleans it like you would not believe. Used to be I would have to scrub like a sweaty peasant gal and cuss a lot and that dadgum white sink still wouldn't be clean, but now I just pour some Clorox in the sink and wait a few minutes, and it cleans like a dream. Seriously. Get this stuff.

Hack #3: cleaning saucepans or skillets. I fully admit I am lazy about cleaning pots and pans. I will wait a day or two sometimes and then yikes, what a gunky mess. Here's how I recover: take a glass of water and pour some of it into the pan and turn the heat on medium low. Wait a minute and scrub with a sponge or scraper or something and voila. The mess comes out.

Hack #4: avocados. My mom loves avocados. I hate them. You buy those suckers and one day later they are a brown gunky mess. Even if they are good, getting the green filling out is messy and gross. Here's the solution: pre-made guacamole. Sabra. Never fool with a real [disgusting] avocado again!

Hack #5: Cooking veggies. Say you have a child or husband who is picky and really won't eat veggies. Here's the simple solution. Heat up a tablespoon or three of olive oil in a skillet. [Remember, it's the good oil, doesn't clog your arteries.] Throw in your fresh spinach or brussells sprouts or shredded cabbage. Take some decent balsamic vinegar and douse the veggies. Take either fresh minced garlic or [if you're lazy, like me] garlic salt, and spinkle with a heavy hand. Use LOTS of garlic. The balsamic and garlic make a great flavor. Taste and adjust. I would eat every veggie I ever fix this way if I didn't fear complaints from the family.

Hack #6: Rice as a legit side dish. I used to fear I couldn't make decent rice, because, well, for years I couldn't. It would always be a gloppy undercooked mess. Then I moved in with Mom and she showed me the easy way to make it. Put 1 cup of rice [the real stuff; I like Jasmine rice] in a saucepan that's fairly heavy and has a good tight lid. [We have an old Club aluminum pot that makes perfect rice.] Add in 1 cup of water and 2 cups of chicken or beef stock or broth [stock is better]. Add 1 tablespoon of real butter, a teaspoon of salt, and some onion powder. Bring it to a boil. Slap on the lid, cut it down to low, and leave it for 20 minutes. When it's done, the rice will be soft. Much better than commercially made rice, which is usually al dente. [Yucko.] Now, here's where the magic happens. Stir the cooked rice, and add in extra butter and seasonings. Garlic powder, onion powder, basil, thyme, etc. Taste and season. The broth, butter, and seasonings make it really tasty.

This is not a tip or hack but an admonition: TASTE while you cook! Adjust seasonings and taste again. Trust your taste buds. It also helps to have lots of great seasonings on hand. We have LOTS of different seasonings. Our staples are garlic salt, onion powder, and Lawrey's seasoned salt.

Life Skills for Teenagers

I see posts on social media fairly often about the fact that teenagers today spend a lot of time on their phones but they don't seem to understand basic life skills like how to change a tire or how to sew on a button. We need to do better, parents.

This is nothing new, however. When I started college there were plenty of freshmen girls who had no idea how to wash a load of clothes. I had been doing laundry since I was about 9 -- as soon as I was tall enough to reach into the washing machine. I had been cooking since the age of 5. My grandmother taught me basic sewing skills before I was 10.

My mother and I were talking about this yesterday. She learned a lot about housekeeping and decorating in Home Economics classes. My brother learned a lot in Shop class in high school. Those classes need to be standard curriculum in all high schools, since parents aren't really teaching basic skills any more.

I also think no teen should have to take a higher math class like calculus unless they know they are going to be a scientist or engineer, or some profession where that might be useful. Nor should a kid who isn't bound for college have to take advanced science. When I was in high school I tool Algebra I and Geometry. Never took Calculus. I took 1 year of Earth Science and a year of basic Biology. Never needed any advanced math or science in real life, either. Why do we now force kids to take advanced math and science when they aren't needed?

I wish someone had taught me basic money management. I took a class in college that was supposed to teach me that stuff but all it did was confuse me.

NOTE: If you are a wealthy person and can pay someone to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. for you, you can stop reading now. If you are raising kids who will continue to be wealthy, stop reading.

I grew up very middle class. Most everyone I know grew up middle class or working class. We aren't blessed with having unlimited funds and a slew of people to do all the work for us.

Why are we forcing all kids in high school to take Calculus, but not teaching them basic skills?!?

If I were designing a class or series of classes for teenagers here are the topics I would want to see covered:

BASIC FIRST AID -- basic wound care, when to call 911, CPR. Sometimes this is covered in Health class, sometimes not. An infected wound can cause huge problems. Does your child know about germs?

CAR MAINTENANCE -- no, you don't need to be a mechanic. When I was out of college and working I forgot to get the oil changed in my car and one day it stopped running and was going to cost a fortune to fix. Lesson learned. Everyone should know how to change a tire and jump start a car, though.

MONEY MANAGEMENT -- This is a big one. So many kids have no idea what a credit score is, or how to open a savings account, or how to live on a budget. I was talking to a friend of my son's not long ago and he was 19 and had no bank account. Shame on his parents. I offered to help him get one opened and he refused my offer. Crazy.

CAREER COUNSELING -- I know most high schools have this but I think they need to do better. Not everyone has to go to college to have a happy life. Mike Rowe Works Foundation is a terrific foundation, aimed at helping all kids get good job skills. They loan money to kids to go to "trade schools" -- "We keep lending money we don’t have to people who can’t pay it back for jobs that don’t exist. Bit by bit, our culture reaffirms the misguided belief that a career in the skilled trades shouldn’t be desired." This is a great organization. I know a lot of skilled trades cannot hire people because there aren't enough qualified candidates. It's sad.

HOME SKILLS -- How do you stop a running toilet? What do you do about mold in the bathroom? Why is it important to put mulch around flowerbeds? What emergency items should you keep on hand in case of a power outage? Can you grow a tomato? So many of these skills are not being taught nowadays. In all honesty, I learned most of them on my own.

BASIC COOKING -- I have a friend whose grown child has literally no idea how to do anything beyond heating up food in a microwave or pouring a bowl of cereal. I'm not sure if she can even make a sandwich. Her mother is equally clueless. These are intelligent folks. They are health-conscious, too. Eating real food, not highly processed food, should be the goal every day. To do that, you need to know things like how to chop up an onion, how to shop for good meat, how to tell if a melon is sweet -- and then how to peel and chop it. What type of milk is best? How do you tell if an avocado is ready to eat? If you're vegetarian, it's really vital that you educate your child about nutrition and protein, so they get everything they need from food.

BASIC SELF DEFENSE -- What do you do if you're at school or work and somebody pulls out a gun and starts shooting? What do you do if someone is trying to break into your house? How do you handle a mugger? My brother has taught us well, but most folks never think about this until they become a crime victim.

PARENTING -- Most teens will be parents at some point in life. Shouldn't they understand what it takes to be a good parent? It involves all the skills mentioned here plus a bunch more. It's not just about changing diapers and choosing the right school.

 

I think the biggest issue is now we are seeing multiple generations that don't know this stuff. Teaching kids all these things is so important. We have parents who both work full-time and they are barely getting enough sleep and they don't know if the toilet is overflowing it needs to be turned off at the wall. They don't know that baking soda will put out an electrical fire. They spend a lot of time making sure their kids look right and have nice clothes and they do their homework but they think that's most of the job. It's not. It's just the tip of the iceberg.

Not everything can be solved by Googling it. Sometimes you need hands-on instruction.

We need to do better...

 

Easy Dinner #1: Baked Pork Chops and Rice

I like to cook but I don't like to spend a boatload of time in the kitchen chopping stuff and stressing over some complicated recipe with 500 ingredients. I like fast and easy BUT tasty food. So I have decided to post the occasional blog giving instructions as to how to cook fast and easy dinners. 

When it comes to meat, I always have to make sure my mom can chew whatever meat I fix. That can be a challenge. She has lost a number of teeth and refuses to get dentures (I don't blame her) and so I just have to adjust what I cook to a softness level that works for her. When cooking almost any kind of meat (except fish) low and slow is the best thing to do. Crockpots are great but not actually necessary. The key is to set the oven on a low setting -- never more than 300. I like 250 or 275. Prepare your meat, put it in a covered dish, and bake it for 4-6 hours. If you don't have a casserole dish with a lid, just put tinfoil across the top.

TIP: If you work a regular job and you're gone all day, no problem. Prepare your meat and slide it into the oven at bedtime. Take it out the next morning before work and put it in the fridge. Re-heat it when you get home. 

The photo at right shows my marinade ingredients for baked pork chops.

I like to buy meaty boneless chops. This recipe also works just fine for a small pork tenderloin. 

Take the chops out of the package about an hour before you plan on popping them in the oven. I did that before I ate lunch. Cover both sides of each chop with salt, pepper, and Lawry's seasoning salt. Let the chops sit for at least 30 minutes.

I like to use the little square Pyrex dish that has been in use in my kitchen for decades. Pyrex is great stuff. It lasts forever.

TIP: before you put Pyrex (or any glass dish) in the oven, wipe off the bottom. If there is any moisture on the bottom of the dish it may cause the dish to crack and break apart, resulting in a huge mess in your oven. My mom learned this lesson the hard way, many years ago. (Instead of a lovely casserole, I think we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that night..)

After your meat has sat out on the counter at least an hour covered in salt, etc., put it in the baking dish. Pour orange juice in the dish ( see photo). Take your soy sauce and liberally shake it over your chops. Finally, put a generous drizzle of honey over each chop. 

TIP: if you are the kind of person who freaks out about not getting precise measurements of ingredients, don't fret. When the meat has been in the oven a couple of hours pull it out and taste a spoonful of the broth. Adjust the seasonings accordingly. With pork, you want a balance between the sweet and savory elements. Honey or jam are good sweet elements -- apricot jelly or jam is particularly good with pork or chicken. 

Salt, onion powder, garlic powder or salt, thyme, rosemary -- experiment with the herbs and flavors you like and figure out what satisfies your taste buds. Taste while you cook, and adjust seasonings. So important. 

I used to be afraid of cooking rice and it never came out right, for me. I finally stumbled upon the trick to cooking rice -- well, Mom told me, to be honest. I hate "al dente" rice. There is a Panda restaurant near here that serves godawful rice that is super chewy. UGH.

Rice should be SOFT.

I like to fix rice the way my memaw fixed it. Soft. I never cook rice except in the Club aluminum pot that has been in my family since the early 1970's. I think we bought all our Club aluminum with green stamps! It's terrific cookware. It will last FOREVER. You can find it on ebay for very reasonable prices. 

 

 Years ago, someone gave my brother and his wife a set of Club aluminum cookware. My sister in law decided she didn't like it and it was given away. Mom and I were astonished by that insanity. 

Anyway, back to how to cook rice. 

The secret to great rice is pretty simple: more water. Buy real rice, not the "quick cooking" kind. Real rice. [see photo]

Put 1 cup of rice into the pan. Add 3 cups of liquid. You can use all water, all broth, or a mixture of both. I like to use broth or stock, for a richer flavor. 

Add 1-2 tablespoons of real butter. Don't use the fake kind. Also use about 1-2 teaspoons of salt -- don't use fake salt. Use Morton's regular or Sea Salt. 

If you use fake salt and/or fake butter guess what? It won't be as yummy.

Turn the burner on high. Watch it. When it starts to boil, give it a quick stir and slap the lid on it and pull it off the burner. Have another burner ready to go, that's on low. Put the pot on the burner, with the lid on, and let it cook on low for 20 minutes. 

Now, I often add pepper, onion powder, or other herbs or seasonings to the rice pot, either before it comes to a boil, or after it has finished cooking. Rice is pretty bland stuff and herbs and seasonings are really necessary. 

VEGGIES: I didn't include a veggie recipe here but with this meal I will likely just prep some avocado slices with lime juice and sea salt. Asparagus would be great, too. 

If you have time and want to serve a dessert, lemon or key lime pie are good choices here. 

Bon Appetit!