The Crab Chronicles

Turning the Corner

My life has turned a major corner this summer, and it happened so fast that it has left me reeling. Mom went into the hospital June 24 and died the 28th, quite unexpectedly, so I have had a lot to adjust to in a short amount of time, it feels like.

I just realized the other day that I have not blogged in a while and I thought I should at least check in, let readers know what is going on. Covid has turned me (as well as so many others) into a bit of a hermit, and there are few happenings to write about.

I have only had to put gas in my car twice in the last six months.

I have not been to a restaurant and eaten there in many months. I don't even remember the last time. I have only been to the store [Walgreens] once in several months. Most everything can be gotten in the drive-thru. I get groceries delivered.

I have two masks in my purse. One is utilitarian. I was given it last time Mom was in the hospital when I could go see her, which was March. The other one is a University of Georgia mask my sweet cousin made for me.

My daughter came to visit last weekend. It was so good to have her home. She is almost thirty years old, which is mind-boggling to me. We went through a lot of my mother's things and Alesia took some of her jewelry and clothing home. Mom would have liked that.

My son was here for the weekend, too. Felt like old times, with both my kids home.

I have been contemplating selling my house. I don't want to sell it. If I can rent out Mom's room, I should be able to keep it. I am slowly getting it cleaned out and ready to rent. I was sick for about two weeks in July, and it has taken me some time to feel 100% again. For the past couple of weeks Michael has been sick. He is much better now, after seeing the doctor. He has to help me with Mom's room. We need to move out all the furniture so it can be re-carpeted.

We have been blessed not to have too hot a summer. Few days have seen temps over 95. Many days the highs have been in the 80's, which is cool for Atlanta in the summer.

I am working on my third novel, trying to finish the first draft. It's a big, sprawling story, taking place over hundreds of years and two continents, so much research is needed.

That's about all the news.

I pray daily for God to help me see the direction my life should take now. I pray for our country to get past this pandemic. I pray for all the folks who have covid. I pray for a vaccine. I pray for the November election to go well.

I know miracles happen every day. My two are below.

 

 

Judging the Past

There is a new piece over at The Bitter Southerner, On Flannery O'Connor and Race: A Response to Paul Elie, and it sparked these thoughts in me when I read it.

Flannery O'Connor was a product of her time and place, as are we all. It's a fair piece about a complicated writer who certainly doesn't deserve to be simply vilified and dismissed because she had some racist ideas. Every writer of fiction [including myself] risks being criticized for our prejudices. (Every human has prejudices, and to pretend otherwise is naive.) It's impossible to write fiction without exposing our soft underbellies, opening ourselves up to criticism or even ridicule. Our prejudices always come through. What we (I am speaking about all literate humans) must not do is to silence voices we simply don't like or agree with, because then we will have struck a deal with the devil. 

I wanted to expand on that a bit.

I understand why protestors want to take down statues that glorify the Lost Cause which includes a south where slavery flourishes. However, I was dismayed to see a news article recently about statue topplers in Missouri going after Thomas Jefferson. I applaud the University of Missouri for not taking down Jefferson's statue. [LINK]

Jefferson was a product of his time and place. He wrote "all men are created equal." Not "all people" -- which would have included women. He owned slaves. He was also a critic of slavery and freed some of his slaves. This page on the Monticello website explains his positions carefully. Most historians accept that he fathered children with one of his slaves, Sally Hemmings. Did he rape Sally Hemmings or was it a love story? Nobody knows. She was the half sister of his deceased wife. Did he love his children by her? Nobody knows, but the fact they were freed after his death says something. He was neither all good or all bad. He was complex.

My comparison of O'Connor and Jefferson is deliberate. We can write millions of words about great writers, artists and politicians who had prejudices we find abhorrent. That doesn't mean it's fair to dismiss or villify them.

However, I totally understand the removal of statues of Andrew Jackson, a man who put some of my Cherokee ancestors on the Trail of Tears. I am puzzled as to why historians debate whether or not it was genocide.

However, if we start looking at every president and judging them we will have to take down almost every single statue and memorial. FDR refused to allow Jews who were fleeing the Nazi regime to enter the United States. He also cheated on his wife with several mistresses. However, if he had not been elected we might not have won World War II, and we might all be living under a Nazi regime, even now.

President Lyndon Johnson championed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. "The Civil Rights Act of 1964, which ended segregation in public places and banned employment discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex or national origin, is considered one of the crowning legislative achievements of the civil rights movement."

Yet LBJ was no saint. He also cheated on his wife and it could be argued he was a serial womanizer. He also was a racist. Johnson escalated the Vietnam War and a lot of Americans died as a result.

 

We have raised the current generation in a world where Hollywood heavily influenced them, and Hollywood makes zillions of dollars on a simple idea: there are heroes and villains. You are either for us or against us.

The Good Guys vs. The Bad Guys.

Many millennials do not read. They cannot think critically and debate fairly. Everything is either black or white. It's much easier to live that way, to hold views like that, to go out and topple statues or hurl stones.

The problem is that if we allow their immaturity and judgement to win, we will lose so much that is valuable. We will lose writers like Flannery O'Connor. We will ignore all the extraordinary accomplishments of Thomas Jefferson, FDR, and LBJ. We will, as a society, drive underground people who express opinions or prejudices we don't like, as they did during the Chinese Cultural Revolution.

America was founded on the idea of freedom. Freedom can be ugly and messy. It's still worth fighting for. Heroes are never perfect. They can hold ideas that are, to our eyes, vile, but we must refuse to allow a simplistic Good Guy/Bad Guy mindset to prevail.

A Statue is Not Just A Hunk of Metal or Stone

I am tempted to stop watching the nightly network news because so much of it makes me really upset. This country has never been more divided than it is right now. Everyone I know is angry and upset about what we see every time we turn on the news or get on social media.

I understand why there are riots going on. George Floyd was treated brutally by the police. Nobody can really argue that there aren't racists among the police officers -- although I firmly believe that the vast majority of police officers are NOT racist and should be honored for what they do. I can even understand why the protests are happening. If they bring about real change, awesome. I am not seeing that right now, though. Rioting and vandalism solve nothing, heal nothing. On the other side, I am seeing a lot of angry folks, horrified by the destruction and afraid to express their feelings for fear of being called racists.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. changed the world because he looked to the example of Mahatma Gandhi in India and went about protesting peacefully, to bring about real change. When Dr. King was assassinated his work went on. Peaceful protestors inspire change. Violent rioters inspire fear and disgust.

Do the vandals and rioters in the streets really understand why Dr. King was so successful? Obviously not.

I'm particularly disturbed by the fact that so much vandalism of statuary proves that the vandals have no idea about their history. A Revolutionary War statue was vandalized in North Carolina [LINK]. Many other monuments, including one honoring three black men who were wrongly lynched, prove the vandals are simply being destructive and they have no real concern for the truth [LINK].

The defacement that makes me the most sad happened in Boston a couple of weeks ago. Robert Gould Shaw was a Union officer who led the Union army's first all-black regiment, and the Shaw Memorial honors him and the 270 black soldiers he led. This article, Rioters deface monument honoring all black regiment of Union Civil War soldiers, talks about this desecration. I remember watching the 1989 movie Glory and being fascinated and saddened by it because it depicts what those ex-slaves went through to become soldiers, the racism they suffered at the hands of the Union army, and the terrible risks they took. Had they been captured they likely would have been re-enslaved.

"I run off and left all my kinfolk in bondage. We want them to know, heavenly father, that we died for freedom!" [Morgan Freeman's character in Glory]

This scene [link] is one of the many powerful scenes in Glory. Movie like Glory are so important, because studying history should not be dry and cold and boring. It should be thrilling. Movies are important teaching tools. I was happy when my son told me his middle school Social Studies teacher showed them the entire movie.

I didn't know until I started doing research for this blog that the man who wrote Glory was inspired to write it after he saw the monument pictured at left.

"Kevin Jarre's inspiration for writing the film came from viewing the monument to Colonel Shaw and the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry in Boston Common.^[3] The 54th was the first formal unit of the Union Army to be made up entirely of African-American enlisted men; all of the officers were white men. His screenplay was based on two books, Lincoln Kirstein's Lay This Laurel (1973) and Peter Burchard's One Gallant Rush (1965), and the personal letters of Robert Gould Shaw.^[4][5]" -- Wikipedia

My research turned up more fascinating information about this monument, from this article: 16 Statues and Memorial Were Damaged During Sunday's Protests, Including One Dedicated to African American Soldiers.

"When it came time to memorialize Shaw, his family wanted him to be shown not alone, but with his men, Vizza said. The renowned sculptor Augustus Saint-Gaudens won the commission to create a large-scale bronze relief. With the help of African American models, Vizza explained how he executed a work that showed the Black soldiers as human beings, not caricatures. Saint-Gaudens worked for 14 years to finish the piece before it debuted in 1897."

“This monument is considered one of the nation's greatest pieces of public art and the greatest piece to come out of the Civil War,” said Liz Vizza, executive director of the Friends of the Public Garden, “It was, amazingly enough, dedicated 123 years ago on May 31st – the day it was defaced.”

I want to end this blog with a powerful quote from Dr. King:

“If we are not careful, our colleges will produce a group of close-minded, unscientific, illogical propagandists, consumed with immoral acts. Be careful, 'brethren!' Be careful, teachers!”  

—“The Purpose of Education” from Morehouse College student newspaper, The Maroon Tiger, 1947

The Changing World

About 10 or 15 years ago I was working for a young attorney and he had me writing blogs for him. It was interesting. I had to do a lot of research to find what I thought were interesting topics to write about. In the course of researching those blogs I came across an online publication that basically was a roundup of stories from around the country. 

The reason I am mentioning this is because a lot of the stories were about police mistreating people of color.

I remember finding those stories and reading them all, at first. Then I got to where I skipped over them because I was not writing about criminal law, my area was civil law. The stories were inevitably about people who were arrested who shouldn't have been arrested, or they were arrested and beaten up for seeming to resist the police. The stories were everywhere, from every corner of America. There were So.Many.Stories.

I'd say 95% of those stories were under-reported.

You see, the police used to be able to pretty much do what they wanted without fear of scrutiny by anyone. That is changing. Not fast enough, but it IS changing.

One of the rare bonuses to so many of us walking around with smartphones that can be used to take quick videos is that there are few corners of the world not subject to being filmed. Police officers know this.

The Floyd case has shocked and horrified me to the point where it's almost unbearable to see the video of it. The officer who had his knee on Mr. Floyd's neck has now been arrested -- story.

If not for the videos made of what happened I guarantee you this story would not have made national news. As long as there have been police officers there have been officers who abused their power and mistreated people. I'm not defending that. It's reprehensible. However, we now live in a world where accountability is more likely.

I've never been arrested.

However, I had a scary encounter once with a police officer years ago. I was in graduate school and I had broken up with a boyfriend and was very upset. I was crying, loudly, for a while. My neighbors called the campus police and reported me for crying too loud, saying I was screaming. When the police officer knocked on my door I was shocked, utterly bewildered. He said my neighbors thought I was being abused or beaten. The sight of the officer calmed me down immediately. I was also frightened and confused. Instead of coming over to see what was wrong, my neighbors called the police. It wasn't a police matter. I had done nothing wrong. The officer wasn't very nice, and he didn't act like he cared. He just wanted me to be quiet.

I grew up in a family where, when I was crying, someone always came and comforted me. Always. Even as a baby, my parents never made me "cry it out." Being grown up and living alone meant there was no source of comfort and I'm sure that contributed to my sadness and crying spell.

After the officer left I just sat and shook for a few minutes.

After that, I could better imagine how someone of color feels when they are wrongly accused of something. Multiply my feelings a million times, of course. What I went through was nothing, in comparison. But it gave me a very tiny taste of what a really unpleasant account with a police officer can be like.

 

We had protests here in Atlanta yesterday. In a story reported yesterday our mayor [who is black] admonished the protestors.

Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms' voice rose in a televised press conference, with a stern message for violent protesters: "You are disgracing our city; you are disgracing the life of George Floyd ... We are better than this."

She is right, and she is wrong.

I have a friend who is the mother of a black son. She is white. She has to live in a daily fear most white people will never understand: fear of her son being arrested just for being black but actually doing nothing wrong. I have another white friend whose adopted sons are Asians and her family has faced overt, ugly racism many times -- oh, and they live in Colorado, not the south. She also worries about her sons.

We may not see a perfectly racially harmonious world in my lifetime. I am resigned to that. Maybe in my son's lifetime, though.

My son has faced discrimination. I understand a little of what mothers of black sons face.

He has some Kazakh ancestry. When I went to Kazakhstan in 2007 to adopt my son the orphanage workers kept saying "He is classified Russian!" I was told that repeatedly. I didn't understand why it mattered until a while later when it was explained to me that to be classified as native Kazakh meant discrimination, and mixed-race kids fared worst of all in a segregated society. That, despite the fact the president of Kazakhstan was Kazakh, not Russian.

Had he stayed in Kazakhstan my son would have faced three kinds of discrimination: for being an orphan, for being handicapped, and for being mixed race. His chances of ever having a good job were practically nil, at that time. [Things may have changed. I hope so.]

Race should have no bearing on how anyone is treated, in any walk of life, anywhere, any time. But the world is how it is, despite that, and we must work to change it. If protests change it, good. There is malicious anger and there is righteous anger and we need to remember that.

I am praying that the Floyd cases and Arbury cases will remind us, sadly, to continue to actively pray for a better world and to insist on a better world, for our children and all the generations to come.

We have come a long way, and we have a long way to go.

Condemning all police officers isn't the answer.

Condemning the protestors isn't the answer.

We have to find ways to move forward without blanket condemnation of any group. We have to keep the conversation going. We have to keep filming injustices. We have to keep working for change.

 

 

The Case for Corona Civility

I walk my dog almost every day around my quiet suburban neighborhood and sometimes I see things that make me wonder what the hell is wrong with people.

I saw a masked lady walk up to one of my neighbors the other day and proceed to lecture him about wearing a mask, I think. I could not hear what she was saying, but from the expression on my neighbor's face he clearly was not happy about her words. Now, he was in his own yard, playing with his own children, and there was nobody else within 20 feet of them. Should he have been wearing a mask? In my opinion, no. There were no seniors or ill people anywhere nearby. I happen to know this neighbor has been a model citizen at staying home and social distancing and keeping his family home. Yet the masked lady felt like she should lecture him.

What on earth is wrong with people these days?!

There is huge controversy now between the "stay at home no matter what" folks and the "let's get back to normal life" folks. There are protests in the streets. People not wearing masks are lectured or yelled at in public. People refusing to un-quarantine are being accused of ruining our economy.

What everyone seems to lose sight of is this: we live in America.

We have the right to social distance or not. We have the right to stay home or not.

Unless or until martial law is declared, how are you going to force people to comply?

Now, in New York city or Boston or Chicago -- all places where the people are densely packed in together -- I think it's very important for people to wear masks and gloves and stay off public transit and really take quarantines seriously. Those places have a ton of Corona-virus cases happening and many people are dying.

Here in my home state of Georgia, just over a thousand people have died from Covid-19. According to the Atlanta Journal:

"Nearly 5,390 COVID-19 patients have been hospitalized in Georgia so far and at least 1,249 of those people were admitted into a hospital’s intensive care unit. 1,174 people have died."

There are 3,990,702 people living here according to Google. So, almost 4 million people. So only a tiny percentage of people living here have died from Covid-19. I don't know anyone who has had the disease or who has died.

I do know that many of the folks who have died were senior citizens. According to the AP, people over 80 have 5 times the death rate from Covid-19 than younger folks.

I live with my mother who is 86, so I am hyper-vigilant about who gets near her, washing hands, etc. She has not left the house since she came home from rehab about 3 weeks ago. There were 3 cases of Covid-19 at her rehab, though, so I feel like she is actually safer here at home, only coming in contact with me -- a third generation germaphobe who obsessively washes hands.

So far, she is fine. [knock wood]

Our governor has gotten severely criticized for letting restaurants and other businesses open back up. We are slowly transitioning back to normal. I was in a favorite restaurant last week picking up a takeout order.  Everyone wore masks and gloves. There was heavy plastic sheeting dividing customers from people doing food orders. This place does mostly takeout orders on a normal day, so I wasn't surprised to not see anyone eating in. I left with a prayer that they would be able to remain open, though. They are a small place, independently owned and operated, and the food is excellent. I do not fear the food from there. We aren't sick. 

I feel like non-Georgians who are criticizing us should keep quiet, though.

An article in The Atlantic about our state's efforts to get back to normal [Georgia's Experiment in Human Sacrifice] ticked me off in the first paragraph but then somewhat redeemed itself in the rest of the story. Among a lot of other things, it notes:

"Public-health officials broadly agree that reopening businesses—especially those that require close physical contact—in places where the virus has already spread will kill people. Even so, many other states are quietly considering similar moves to Georgia’s."  Amanda Mull, unless you have a crystal ball or you're a bona fide psychic, you have no idea what you're talking about. [She wrote the article.]

Governor Kemp isn't saying businesses HAVE to reopen. He's giving them the option of reopening.

Let's take a step back here, for a moment.

Let's reflect on how random rules are, because the government is a vast entity and nobody knows how it works. Who decided that law firms and liquor stores are "essential"? I am glad I work for a law firm and can continue working, but why are we "essential"? We don't do criminal law. I can see why criminal lawyers would still be needed. And why would liquor stores be exempt? [Politicians need access to lawyers and that access might make them drink, is my guess.]

My point is simply this: everyone should be free to choose to do what they feel is best to keep their family and/or their businesses safe. Period.

If I am not wearing a mask, stay the heck away from me if you like, but don't lecture me.

If you want to stay home, STAY. Don't criticize me for leaving, though.

I know some will disagree with me. If I had seen dead bodies stacked up in wagons along my street, like what was seen during the plagues hundreds of years ago, I wouldn't have written this blog. But this is 2020.

America is about FREEDOM. Choose to go out. Choose to stay home. Choose to not re-elect Kemp if you don't like how he governs.

It's all about choice.

I hope we will ALL choose to be polite and kind to one another, even if we disagree, though.

What's for Dinner, Mom? (My new cookbook)

When I became a first-time mom at age 41, to a 13 year old, it was a huge challenge to go from 20 years as a singleton to being a mom to a child who spoke no English. I tried making Russian foods [borscht, black bread, seerniki] but of course they didn't taste as good as what she was used to. I was accustomed to eating something like a can of soup for dinner, or cheese and crackers. I wanted to feed my child better, so I learned how to really cook, for a family. Six months after bringing her home I bought a house and Mom moved in with us, so I had my teacher right there, which helped.

I was blessed to be raised by a mother who loved to cook and who encouraged me and my brother to get in the kitchen and experiment. My dad loved to cook, too, but his repertoire was limited to mostly breakfast foods and putting meat on the grill. That's okay -- he had two brothers whose wives were such terrific cooks their husbands had no idea how to do anything in the kitchen. My mom's attitude was not "stay out of my way" but "go for it!"

I think every recipe in What's for Dinner, Mom? has a little anecdote or story. That's what makes a cookbook interesting, to me. I want to know how you discovered the recipe, or did you make it up yourself? Did your great aunt refuse to give out the cookie recipe and your aunt finally figure it out? Will your child eat this and no other veggie?!

Years ago [long before Amazon made it easy] I helped Mom write a cookbook, and we just got copies made at Kinko's. Family and friends liked it a lot. You can still sometimes find copies floating around out there of Elva's Blue Scallop Cookbook. My aunt sold it for a while at her store in Myrtle Beach.

 

  If you've been reading my blog for a while you know I write about food, a lot. When I care about someone I love to cook for them. Making someone happy with food is my "love language."

In these weird and difficult days, we are staying home more, cooking more, and hopefully loving on our families more!

Check out my book today.

It's only $8 so buy copies for friends!

 

Writing About The Current Crisis

I was blessed to have two parents that liked talking to me and my brother when we were kids, and who told us vivid stories about their childhoods and the years before my brother and I joined the family.

Mom and Dad made topics that were dry and boring in school [World War II, The Cold War, The Cuban Missile Crisis] far more interesting because we got to hear how their lives were impacted by those things.

Mom told me the Cuban Missile Crisis was particularly stressful for the family because I was an infant and on formula, and they were scared to leave town because they didn't know if they could get formula for me. SO they decided to just stay put and take their chances. [During the Cuban Missile Crisis, leaders of the U.S. and the Soviet Union engaged in a tense, 13-day political and military standoff in October 1962 over the installation of nuclear-armed Soviet missiles on Cuba, just 90 miles from U.S. shores.]

Dad watched his two older brothers go off to war during World War II and then recalled his joy when his brothers came home alive. Lewis came home and showed the family how to grill steaks outside, which none of them had ever done -- putting an old metal shelf from the fridge over a hole in the ground filled with charcoal, a crude grill. Lewis had been on an island in the Pacific for months, watching for Japanese soldiers and airmen to invade, a nerve-wracking experience he never really talked about afterwards. [Lewis' photo is on the right]

Dad also told us when America got into the war his father, who had been in World War I, told Dad and his friends to dig a trench so they could play trench warfare. Grandaddy marked off the exact place to dig the trench and encouraged the digging. A few months later a new septic tank was placed in the "trench" -- and he didn't have to pay somebody to dig it. [Grandaddy was nobody's fool...]

Mom told me just recently that as soon as the polio crisis got really bad, her parents both worked one day, all day long, emptying out the kitchen cabinets and scrubbing every surface with a mixture of Clorox and water, and wiping down all the foodstuff in the house. They were already major germaphobes, both of them, but when polio was rampant in America they got really serious. Which is GOOD -- nobody in the family got polio.

 

As I mentioned in my prior blog, we are living in a fascinating [and yes, scary] time in history. Imagine if someone who had lived through the Great Fire of London or the Black Plague or the Revolutionary War had written a clear and personal account of how their daily life was affected by that? I would LOVE to read such an account.

Historians concentrate on facts -- dates, places, battles, etc. -- dry and boring, usually. Real people writing real accounts of daily life? Fascinating.

I think my love of history comes from my parents' willingness to make it come alive for us.

 

I was thinking today, what will future generations find interesting about living through the Coronavirus Pandemic of 2020?

While most of us have some extra time on our hands I want to urge you, readers, to write up an account of what it's like to live through this pandemic. Maybe you don't have grandchildren yet but someday you might -- or not -- but maybe you will have great nieces and nephews. I know most of you aren't professional writers, so I thought it might be helpful if I posted what are called Writing Prompts. You can use these as inspiration to write up your own account. Then save it printed out or on a thumb drive, for future generations.

If you really don't like to write but you are tech savvy, make a video of yourself talking about the crisis, and save it somewhere.

 

above -- my Hasty grandparents in 1951

 

Writing Prompts

I first heard about the Coronavirus and my thoughts were...

I decided it was important to take steps to safeguard my family during this time so I...

There are shortages of things in my town and these are some of the hard-to-get items...

I was working up until _____ and then I started working from home on ______ and it has been.....

In the midst of all the scary news stories and sadness I have found some really positive things and they are...

Social media has actually been a blessing because I have been able to safely keep up with what friends and family members are doing, and this is my favorite post/meme...

These are the things I notice when I drive down the street in my town nowadays...

I do/do not know someone who has had the Coronavirus and here's more about that...

These are the ways my life has changed in the past few weeks....

In the future, I think life will be different because of this pandemic and here's what I think will change...

This is the saddest thing I have heard since this crisis started...

This is the funniest thing I have seen/heard...

This is my opinion of what the government has done in response to this crisis [remember local, state, and Federal]

Living in History

When I was in college I took a class and read a book in that class that changed me forever. The book? Hard Times, by Studs Terkel.

The book was basically a collection of interviews with people who had lived through the Great Depression and how they had coped. I found it so much more compelling to hear the voices of real people, recalling real events, and how they managed their lives in a terrible time.

I learned a lot from talking to my parents about events they had lived through, like the Great Depression, World War II, and the Cuban Missile Crisis.

I wish they had written down their recollections, or that I had taped or filmed them.

Right now we are living in history -- a global pandemic. People all over the world are dying. The ones of us not sick are going to great lengths not to get sick, or get our older family members sick.

Here's a tip: write down what it's like to live through this crisis. Save it somewhere. Or video yourself talking about it, if you don't like to write. We are living in history but one day, these days of quarantine will be a distant memory. Let's leave a compelling account for the generations to come.

I've never in my life had the government telling me not to leave my house. This is unprecedented.

As of 9 pm tonight my county [DeKalb County] will be under a "stay at home" order. As I understand it, that means we can go to the grocery store or to get gas or other "essential" activities, but that's it. I was a bit irritated until I was watching the news and I saw that Atlanta will be the next "hot spot" for Coronavirus. Seems oddly poetic, since we are the headquarters of the CDC.

Not all the news is bad.

All of us with kids at home are teaching our kids how to weather tough times -- something this generation needs to know. The kids are being forced to get their heads away from phones and ipads and x-boxes and really pay attention to the world. That's actually a great thing.

One of my favorite journalists, Steve Hartman, posted a wonderful video about kindness. Kids learn decency and compassion and kindness mostly from their parents.

I can't really do much to help anyone, but I have been trying hard to stay positive, and post things on social media that are funny [see below].

I've heard there is an alarming rise in suicides these days. USA Today published an article about this last week. This is difficult to hear. I have two friends who lost their sons to suicide [several years ago, not recently], and that heartbreak will never leave them. Yes, the world is very screwed up right now. Yes, it's hard to cope. No, suicide is not the answer. It solves everything for the person doing it, but creates so much pain for those left behind.

Faith helps. I have faith that God will see me and my family through this. It will not be easy, but then so much of life isn't easy. Asking for an easy life is a waste of time. Life will always be hard.

Even if you aren't a believer, think about this. Everything goes in cycles. Right now we are in a down cycle, but it won't last forever. Good times will return.

I pray every day that this pandemic will end soon. I pray that our leaders will lead wisely.

I just ordered flower seeds from Amazon. As soon as they come in I will plant them, along with some veggie seeds I have saved.

My favorite proverb: "The cure for dirt is soap and water. The cure for death is LIFE." Go out and live. Take a walk. Cook a meal. Hug your loved ones -- the ones in quarantine with you, of course.

LIVE and LOVE and know these times will pass.

 

Predictions from the Middle of the Pandemic

I keep reading predictions about what's going to happen, but I read them with a Big Grain of Salt. Like, the size of Plymouth Rock. Call me cynical. I am going to throw out a few predictions, though.

I don't know how you figure the start of the Corona Virus Pandemic but I figure it from about March 1, and now we are entering into week 4 of it. I think we will be on high alert for about 3-5 more weeks and then we will be over the worst of it and slowly life will get back to normal. I think by June 1 life will be normal again.

I base that on nothing scientific, just a gut feeling.

Laugh if you like.

The truth is, nobody really knows. This is what a quick Google search gets you, articles like When Will the Corona Virus Be Over?

Your guess is as good as mine.

[Just FYI, I tend to be very leery of "experts." I put that in quotes because I don't think anyone is truly an expert in this, even Dr. Fauci. I think he's a great guy. It's just that the virus is unpredictable.]

I have a friend who works at the CDC, has been there for more than 20 years. Here's what she said: "Maybe 4-6 weeks? My guess is that we will slowly return to work and social settings at reduced capacity."

I predict in about 9 months there will be a baby boom. That's not exactly rocket science.

I predict people will be cooking a lot more, now that going to restaurants is hazardous. I do a fair amount of cooking anyway, but now, since it's risky I want to go to restaurants. ACK. (I think I just need to get out of the house more.)

I predict the election in November will be very different because of the Corona Virus -- not sure how. I just think as a nation, we are undergoing vast changes and it's inevitable. Will that be good or bad? I don't know.

The world in crisis is nothing new. I have always been the quiet kid in the corner listening to the grownups [well, quiet sometimes] and I have heard so many stories from my elders of how they got through the Great Depression and how they managed during World War II. The worse thing my generation has dealt with was 911 and that had lasting effects but was really only impactful for a few days or a week or so [for non New Yorkers, of course].

The world is changing almost faster than the news folks can report it.

I predict we will all come out of this with an increased respect for medical professionals, and for folks who deliver products to our stores.

Have you seen all the funny memes about toilet paper? I am not worried about toilet paper or anything else being scarce. I think the shortages are caused by people panicking, not a real shortage of goods.

I truly believe that everything that happens to a person -- good or bad -- happens for a reason. We just don't always figure it out until long afterward.

Recently I was feeling like my life was in quite a deep rut, but not any more. Now every day is a little weird, since I am back to living alone, but I also am less stressed because I am not personally trying to take care of anyone else -- well, except Lola, and she's easy.

I spent much of today scanning in a bunch of old photos and I have had fun with that. I replaced my very outdated computer, so learning how to scan in photos in Windows 2010 has been interesting.

FINAL THOUGHTS...

I predict that our country will be stronger once we have dealt with this crisis, whether it lasts a few more weeks or a few more years. We are more hygiene conscious, thank God. We are [most of us] enjoying being at home, and a slower pace of life. When all the socializing and sports get canceled we get to know our family members better.

I have big control issues. Letting go of situations I really cannot control [like Elva in rehab or my son living on his own] is the only way I can stay sane.

Faith helps a lot. No matter what happens, God is always available.As long as we remember that, and remember to love our neighbors, we will be okay.

Ten Things To Do On Your Corona-cation

Are you stuck at home, wondering what on earth to do with yourself? Tired of watching the news channels, with their predictions of gloom and doom? Here are some things to do while you're on your self-quarantine, or as I like to think of it, your Corona-cation.

Keep in mind, I have been working from home for several years now, so not much has changed for me, except my mom is in a rehab facility so I am not taking care of her right at the moment -- hopefully that will change soon.

Sitting on the couch watching TV gets old after a while. Try to view this time as an opportunity to get your house and your stuff in order.

#10 Get ready for spring -- here in the Deep South we're already experiencing warm days and frosty night are over, so that's my perspective. If you're in a colder climate, you may have to wait a bit. Head to the garden store with your debit card in your pocket, wearing your garden gloves, and pick up some seeds or some tiny sprouts, and get your garden underway. If you're not into gardening outside, pick up some easy house plants to care for, like Philodendrons, or Mother In Law's Tongue.

#9 Clean out your closet. Get rid of all those clothes you've been saving for ten years.

#8 Go through your food stores and throw out the expired food. You know there's some back in there, like that jar of artichoke hearts you've had since '08.

#7 Write a letter. I bet you have elderly family members or friends who don't do email or social media. Write them a personal letter and mail it off. You will brighten their day.

#6 I bet all your photos are now on your computer, scattered in a million different folders. Go through them and take every photo you really love, and put it on a thumb drive or external hard drive. In the event of an emergency, you can grab that a lot faster and easier than bulky photo albums.

#5 Find recipes for foods you have on hand. You don't have to be a gourmet cook to follow a recipe. You can use that jar of spaghetti sauce as the base of a hearty vegetable soup, for instance.

#4 Clean out your car. You normally spend a ton of time in the car. When was the last time you went out there with the Windex and the vacuum and really gave it a thorough cleaning?!

#3 Phone a friend. I am always saying there aren't enough hours in the day. Well now there are. Phone that old college roommate you haven't spoken to in several years, or the cousin you always loved seeing at family reunions. Phone visits are a great way to stay in touch. 

#2 Foods that are easy to store, like peanut butter and hot dogs, are now hard to find in the store. Fresh meat and veggies are not hard to find, though. Sharpen up your kitchen knives and get to peeling and chopping. Here's a tip: greens like spinach or cabbage are great if you saute them for a few minutes in some olive oil, and add balsamic vinegar and garlic salt [or powder, or fresh garlic].

#1 Break out the board games and get busy. Monopoly, Clue, Battleship, Trivial Pursuit -- all great ways to pass the time, and fun!

above, my son makes cookies