The Crab Chronicles

Formerly the Queen of the Uptight

I used to be a person that freaked out quite easily. I was the opposite of laid back. I was the Queen of the Perpetually Uptight. That's not a good thing, trust me.

Everything is energy. It took me years to really grasp that but that's one of the benefits of getting older. If you're lucky, and you keep an open mind, you will accumulate knowledge that will help you cope. My hard-won knowledge of energy is as comforting to me as religion is to a lot of folks. 

One of my cousins posted a long essay about vibrational energy on Facebook. Below is a quote from it:

7 things that affect your vibrational frequency from the point of view of quantum physics.

Vibration in quantum physics means that everything is energy. We are vibrating beings on certain frequencies. Every vibration equals a feeling and in the "vibrational" world, there are only two kinds of vibration, positive and negative. Every feeling makes you emit a vibration that can be positive or negative.

 

Every thought emits a frequency out to the universe and that frequency goes back to the source, so in case if you have negative thoughts, discouragement, sadness, anger, fear, it all comes back to you. This is why it is so important that you take care of the quality of your thoughts and learn to cultivate more positive thoughts.

 

So true. When I was younger my head was filled with a lot of negative thoughts. School stressed me out because I was always wanting to make top grades and when I didn't immediately grasp the material I panicked. I also got bullied at school because I was chubby. At home, I was a constant source of annoyance to my older brother because I was walking around breathing in the same house, so he liked to tease me mercilessly.

 

I grew up and became a paralegal, mainly because my dad thought it was a good idea. I really never wanted to be a paralegal. It took me years to make peace with it. I felt obsolete in my last paralegal position -- lots of negative energies. (Thanks be to God I now have a job I love where I can use my legal background but I get to write all day, a huge blessing.)

 

I have told my son many times, we can control our thoughts. He is only slowly coming around to accepting this idea. It's true, though. Once he really understands that and puts it into practice, life will get easier. I have noticed this in my own life. It can be very tricky to do, though.

 

I have a relative who is a big strong guy but he is the most fearful person I know. He constantly worries about everything, and as a result those fears control him. My last few conversations with him have been very strained so I have decided to distance myself from him for the time being. If I told this guy that the key to inner peace lies in thought control he would snort with contempt. [I've seen that many times! He is the Snort King!] He cannot do what I do so often in life and simply turn it over to God. He knows the concept, but he cannot do it. Turning it over to God is just a mental exercise. It's the act of saying to God [or the Universe, or whatever deity you believe in] that you feel completely frustrated and unable to handle a problem, but you are going to turn your thoughts elsewhere and trust God/The Universe/Buddha/whoever to handle the problem. Taking a mental vacation from your thoughts can be very difficult to do because you stop trying to control the situation. It's absolutely necessary, though, to avoid all the worry and feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.

 

I think sometimes people cling to their negative thoughts because letting go of them would feel like a betrayal, or an acknowledgement that they aren't always right.

 

When you focus on the positive, though, it changes things. Let's say you don't believe in God. You know the happiness you feel when you express love? That's positive energy and that's a healing energy. Pet your dog or cat for a few minutes. Play with your child. Take a walk by a lake or river. Close your eyes and listen to a favorite song. Take a friend out to lunch. Put those positive vibes into yourself and see what happens.

 

I don't want to get into a political argument here but I was reminded of this yesterday as I watched the news coverage of the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Half of the people in America are in deep despair over that Supreme Court ruling. The other half are rejoicing and celebrating -- but also quite anxious about the possible backlash. The same can be said for the gun control bill just passed by Congress. Some rejoice, some despair.

 

The entire country feels awash in negative energy. We all need to walk that back -- and we can. All the negative energy accomplishes nothing. It's really wasted energy. Roll up your sleeves and work for the side you believe in, and keep focusing on the result you want. Protest peacefully if you like. Don't riot because that does nothing good. Express loving feelings through acts of kindness.

 

My dad had a very stressful job. He was a bank vice president. His days were often long and very stressful. When he got home from work, though, he would always change clothes and spend time with his children, usually playing with us. He really played -- on the floor, playing with toys, singing songs, playing games. He told Mom it was his favorite part of the day because he could forget about all the stress of the day.

 

We all need to remember that. You want to change the world? Fine. Go play. Go love. Go sing your song. Fill yourself with positive energy and wait for the blessings to roll in, as inevitably as the tide.

 

 

The Post Plague Years

I did not realize until yesterday just how much I have missed feeling like a reasonably normal person in a normal/typical/average world. I did something yesterday I had not done since approximately January 2020.

I met a friend for lunch.

I know it's not a very exciting event to report, two women sitting in a Greek restaurant eating and catching up, but it gave me a tremendous boost that was sorely needed. I just didn't know it was needed.

I have known my friend Dana for almost thirty years. When I first moved to Atlanta in 1993 she was working as a legal secretary at an insurance defense law firm just off Clairmont Road and every day we ate lunch together in the break room. When she left the firm it was really upsetting to me, but I understood her reasons. She eventually became a paralegal. We stayed in touch and over the years socialized as often as our busy schedules allowed. It seemed like right as her sons were getting grown and freeing up her time I was adopting my kids and my life got super complicated. Dana and I have very similar tastes in movies and books so often we would go to an afternoon movie together. Sometimes we would read the same book and enthusiastically discuss it. 

Here's the fascinating thing. I don't recall every having a serious disagreement with Dana. I treasure her friendship.

The greatest thing Dana ever did for me -- besides taking me home and staying with me after I had dental surgery 20 years ago -- was recommending a doctor for my mom. The last ten years or so of her life Mom was the patient of a gerontologist at Emory who had been treating Dana's dad. Mom hated doctors on principal but she loved Dr. Graves. Yep, you heard that right, a gerontologist named Graves. Great guy.

After Mom passed away in 2020 Dr. Graves called me and talked to me for 20 minutes. He told me he had reviewed all the hospital records from Mom's final days and although she had Covid, it was really kidney failure that did her in. I had unwittingly contracted Covid and given it to Mom, so it was really kind of him to call and discuss her final illness with me. A great weight was lifted from me. When Covid hit in the spring of 2020 Mom was in rehab, and when she came home in April of that year I had been so careful to quarantine, restrict her visitors, mask when out of the house, wash my hands, etc. I did everything the CDC said to do and I still got it. Mom was 86 though, and it was just her time.

Anyway, I digressed.

Dana is now taking care of her Mom and I know so well how hard it is to be a 24/7 caretaker of an elderly person. Mental health breaks are super important. Dana also is in the process of selling her house and her mom's house and I know the gut-wrenching process so well, having sold my house last year. So I've tried to pass along a few tips to Dana.

It has been really hard getting accustomed to being alone after my mom passed away and my son moved out. Strangely enough, although I miss my wonderful neighbors very much, the apartment has not been all bad. I walk Lola twice every day and I often run into familiar faces and we chat. Lola loves everyone and makes new friends easily. I can feel the sun on my face. I know if there were to be an emergency I could go knock on the door of a neighbor and they would help me. There's a lot to be said for being part of a community.

Covid has taught me the value to human interactions, while also making me more cautious about germ transmission. My grieving process for my mom has been complicated because of covid but there are many people in this country who have had it much worse. Perhaps the world needed to be shaken up, a bit. Perhaps like the Spanish flu of 1918 we will always mark this time in history as a learning time, as a nation. Despite all the chaos in the world today, I think most Americans are grateful to be alive, grateful to be American, and much more aware of our need for human connection.

We are all in this together.

left, my son and Lola

right, outside my apartment

What Real Estate Listings Don't Say

Last year I sold my almost 3,000 square foot home and moved to an apartment. I didn't want to live in an apartment but the house prices around here were crazy and I needed a better job to be able to get a mortgage, so the apartment has become my temporary home. I still look at real estate listings online a lot, on Zillow and Realtor.com, mainly just because I find it fascinating to look at houses, and see how everything is laid out, the colors, the kitchen design, etc.

It occurred to me only after I moved in here that whoever upgraded this apartment was a very tall person. This apartment makes me feel like a child. I couldn't reach the ceiling fan cords. I couldn't begin to reach the shower curtain rods. The bar in the kitchen is the height of my chin. The bathtub sides are so high I had to figure out how to climb over them, and it's quite a gymnastic feat. I am too short to see out the peephole on the front door.

I am not THAT short. I'm 5'3.

I had to take the apartment sight unseen, because after making dozens of calls, I could only locate ONE place in my preferred area that would take pets and had an elevator. Some places would take pets but only if they weighed less than 40 lbs. Many places simply had NO units available on my move-in date. It was maddening.

Anyway, I still look at online listings, just out of curiosity.

It occurred to me today that whenever I get ready to move into a house or condo again, I need to look for the following items in the listing description, and if the item isn't mentioned then I need to ask the seller about it.

Is the home set up for a VTP? [Very Tall Person -- see issues above]

Has the home recently been sprayed for roaches? [I had to get a pest control guy in here right after I moved in, and the guy sent by the apartment folks was a moron. I paid my own guy and it solved the problem.]

Is flood insurance required by the lender? [learned that lesson the hard way]

Has anyone ever died in the home? Would a spirit removal be covered under the home warranty, if necessary?!

Did the prior owner smoke? [Yes, some people still smoke inside, and it can be really hard to get the smell out.]

Would the neighbors freak out if I wore a bathrobe to get the mail? [my dad used to get the mail early on summer mornings, sometimes wearing only boxers, much to the delight of the neighbor ladies]

Is there wallpaper? [sometimes they don't take photos of the wallpapered rooms for the listing; fiendishly clever]

Is the water hard or soft? [in my younger years, when I "fixed" my hair every stinking day this was a hugely important question]

Is the toilet right next to the wall? That's probably not FCF [fat chick friendly]

How high is the property insurance every year? Will it kill my chances of retiring early, at around 70?!

Have snakes ever gotten lost inside the house? [yes, I personally know of that happening in several homes...]

When we tour the house can we look in the attic for signs of squirrels, possums, raccoons, dead bodies?! [Don't laugh -- in older homes this can be a real thing.]

How is the internet connection? [I learned the hard way that if there are lots of tall trees around the WiFi may be affected]

How far away is the nearest hospital? [if you're over 50 this is something to consider]

Does the power go out a lot when it storms?

How close is the nearest swimming pool? [at my last house, whenever there was a swim meet the street was choked with parked cars for hours]

Finally, I borrowed some shots of a home that is currently for sale, and these poor folks are going to have a hard time with this one...

I think this bathroom was designed by Vincent Price and Debbie Reynolds...

 

 

 

 

Below, the home of the Dumb & Dumber guys...

Buy Products Made in America

I know it's not Thanksgiving yet but I am already at least thinking about Christmas gift ideas. This holiday season, please strive to support small businesses here in America. With rampant inflation and ongoing issues with the supply chain, we all need to be mindful of the importance of supporting each other. I have several friends and acquaintances who own their own small businesses and I want to help them promote their products. I am a savvy buyer though, so I want to reassure you that I have actually purchased and used most of these products and I will vouch for their customer service and quality products.

I have written about my friend Jon Jackson's beautiful work at Comfort Farms, giving veterans a place to heal from the traumas of war and a way to regain their purpose in life. His approach to therapy is unique and amazing, and you can learn more here. There are lots of ways to help. If you are near Milledgeville, Georgia, you can go over in the summer and fall and purchase incredible produce and meats. You can also check out Farm Focused and purchase unique and well-made clothing that promotes the brand of Comfort Farms and other farms.

left, my mom wearing one of the awesome aprons made at Down South House and Home

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My friend Stacy Reece runs a wonderful business in Clarkston, Georgia, just a few minutes from me, Down South House and Home.  I have purchased many of her dishtowels, aprons, napkins, and other products and they are excellent quality as well as being clever and unique. I had a great time interviewing Stacy a few years ago for this blog, and you can read it here. Although most of her products are timeless, Stacy keeps up with trends. You can see her selection of masks here. Have a guy who is hard to buy for? Check out the humorous socks offered at Down South.

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If you are in the Atlanta area and you need a wedding cake or other special occasion cake, check out my friend Jenean's business, Carlton's Cakes. Jenean is a scientist as well as a baker and she has helped brides out by making gluten-free cakes, dairy-free cakes, and vegan cakes. Jenean's cakes are widely celebrated. She has won awards from The Knot and Jezebel magazine, and her cakes have even been found in movies!

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Feridies is a family-owned business out of Virginia that offers utterly delicious [and nutritious] products that I have purchased as gifts many times. A few years ago I interview Jane Riddick-Fries for this blog and really enjoyed learning about the delicious and unique products.

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I love products with a sense of humor. Check out Duke Cannon -- "Our products are tested by soldiers, not boy bands." I have ordered some of their products for Christmas gifts this year. (Don't tell my son or my brother...)

 

Other products:

I have purchased an used the wonderful products from Goat Milk Stuff over the years and always been impressed by their quality. It's a family-owned and run business.

I am going to blatantly self-promote here, so please don't hate me. My book Singing to the Cows is a collection of essays written by my mom about her life and her humor and wisdom are evident on every page. If you need a gift for someone 75+ years old, I guarantee they will enjoy the book. If you like to cook but more importantly hear stories about recipes, check out What's for Dinner, Mom?

Messages of Hope

Every once in a while I will be having a really bad day and something will happen that will give me hope. Sometimes it's a big thing, sometimes a small one.

My son was telling me he feels like he is getting sick and yet he had to go to work this morning. I worry about him driving when he doesn't feel well -- especially since his car isn't running at the moment and he is in my car. While he was telling me that I noticed a dot of red in my peripheral vision and turned to look at the French doors in the family room. A plump cardinal was sitting on the ground looking at me. He stayed there a long time, not moving, just looking at me. I fully embrace the idea that cardinals are messengers [LINK]. I feel hopeful when I see them. I know that no matter what is happening, I will be okay.

I saw a lot of cardinals last summer when my mother died. It was as if heaven had imbued the entire cardinal population in the area with the directive "go and comfort Dee!"

Also yesterday a friend of mine posted about my newest book [Heart of My Own Heart] on Facebook: Reading my friend Dee Thompson's new book https://www.amazon.com/Heart-My-Own.../dp/B08NTMTKZW...  I am on page 409 already, savoring every paragraph, really sad that soon it will come to an end and I will have to say goodbye to the enchanted world that Dee created in her story! The book is written in such a way that you can't help but feel yourself part of the story! You are never alone if you have a good book to read!

 

That did my heart good, reading that.

 

Books are such a great escape, to me. They keep me going on days when distracting myself from stress is super important. Right now I am reading The Sweetness of Forgetting, by Kristin Harmel. It's a terrific book. Really enjoying it.

 

Sometimes the "message of hope" is a friend calling for a phone visit. Sometimes it's finding money I didn't know I had in my purse or couch cushions. Sometimes it's simply hearing a song I love on the radio.

 

Right now my stress level is 10/10. I am trying to get my house ready to sell, and find a condo or town home in this area that I can afford. I am almost afraid to type that because real estate agents are coming out of the woodwork to bother me. I cannot afford to renovate my home to be super appealing to buyers, even though the real estate market is very hot right now. So I will be offering it for less than comparable homes, in hopes someone will see past the cosmetic defects. Everyone always wants walls and flooring to reflect their own taste.

 

I have accumulated so much stuff over the years that downsizing is a huge challenge. I had my own Estate Sale last weekend but I didn't attract too many buyers. I made enough money to cover the costs of a new phone because my old Samsung phone decided to die right before the sale. So I am interviewing estate sale companies, trying to find one that will come in and do one asap. Trying to decide what to keep -- only a few things -- and what to sell is daunting. I will be reducing my living space by probably half. Below are some images I used on the announcement on Next Door and Facebook.

 

Some decisions are easy. I used to collect teapots and some of them remind me of old boyfriends who turned out to be jerks. The silver is easy to part with because I've grown really tired of polishing it over the years.

 

I dread the culling of things from my home but I also embrace a healthy degree of de-materialism. They are just THINGS and should never be cherished except as mementoes of people, is my philosophy.

 

Anyway, I keep looking for cardinals and other messengers of hope and healing, and they always show up..

 

 

One Day Soon

My mom passed away almost exactly five months ago, on June 28, 2020. I miss her every day, but as I bustled around the kitchen this morning making pecan pie and trying to get everything straight and the table set, I was fine. My son and his friend came over and helped me with cleanup. We have friends coming by to eat with us later today.

I took a quick break to watch a few minutes of the dog show.

As I was watching the dog show it occurred to me that Mom loved to watch those type shows and took great delight in knowing the names of most dog breeds and learning about them. She loved dogs. When she talked to my father about getting married she said "I plan to have at least two or three children and we will have a dog, or I won't marry you." Kids and dogs were part of the deal. Dad was smart enough to agree to all of it.

Mom treated her dogs like family, and she made no bones about how important dogs were to her life. I thought about that as I watched the dog show, then --

I just burst into tears.

That's the way I grieve, slowly this time. With my father, in 1996, I cried a lot but mostly right afterwards. Then I just felt sad for months, wishing I could pick up the phone and call him. The passing of my mom, who I had in my life for 58 years, has been a different kind of grief. The grief is bigger, and it hurts much more, so I have to process it more slowly. About once a day I want to tell her something, and I remember she is gone and I just stop what I'm doing and cry for a few minutes. I have boxes of kleenex stashed all over the house.

I know many of us are mourning loved ones lost to Covid-19. There will be empty places at the table for years to come, as we grapple with the terrible losses of 2020. Loved ones gone, jobs gone, many in the country hungry. It's a long national nightmare.

A little while ago, I was looking at a quilt made by my grandmother and my great grandmother in 1933, when Memaw was pregnant with my mom. [See photo at left]

Memaw was big pregnant in 1933, during the worst part of the Great Depression, and her husband was out of work and there was no money. Granny Butler and Grandaddy couldn't help because they had lost all their money in the Depression. Papa's parents were struggling. Everyone was struggling. Yet Memaw and Granny Butler made a pink and blue double wedding ring quilt for the new baby, not knowing if it was a boy or a girl.

They pieced together the top, but then somehow it never got finished. A few years ago I told Mom I wanted to see it finished. Neither one of us are quilters. Luckily, one of my Thompson cousins is a very skilled quilter, and she finished the quilt for us, which was really kind.

I have decided to keep the beautiful quilt in the living room, a reminder of three incredible ladies. They got through hard times, and the hard times didn't defeat them.

I can too.

One day the tears will be done, and I will smile when I think of Mom.

One day we will all be vaccinated against this terrible plague, and there will be some positives to come of this, I know -- people will be more aware of germ transmission, will wash hands more often, and I think will be aware of the importance of sticking together as a family, and as a nation.

Despite the pandemic, I have friends and family members who have gotten married, who have had babies, who have homeschooled their children, and kept right on going.

One day soon, we will look back on this year and feel pride because we survived, and we still love each other, and America is still strong.

One day.

In the meantime, we will be strong, and we will keep the faith. We will get through this.

Amen.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving, everyone!!

 

Things I Wish I Didn't Know

I was telling a fellow paralegal recently about a bizarre episode that happened to me many years ago in Knoxville, and it occurred to me that if you’ve lived more than half of your life as a card-carrying grownup, you will encounter some really unpleasant things. My list is pretty benign.
I should try to just laugh about these things. Some do make me laugh… but not all.

As sort of an antidote to the first list, I decided to throw in a second list, because even though 2020 has been pretty much a Shit Show [pardon the profanity, just quoting Ryan Reynolds there] I have survived it, and I know I will be okay even without my mom.

 

I wish I didn’t know…

• What it feels like to test positive for Covid-19
• The queasiness that comes from being propositioned by an 80 year old man [client at one of the firms where I worked in Knoxville]
• The horrifying BANG of two cars colliding at high speeds
• How it looks when my dog poops out an undigested paper towel
• How it looks [and sounds] when Lola barfs up a paper towel, on the new carpet…
• The complete and utter emotional and physical exhaustion known as “moving day”
• The smell of burning brussels sprouts or burning onions
• The terrible anxiety of walking down the aisle of the grocery store with a calculator
• The sadness of missing both of your dead parents
• The humiliation of serving something to a guest knowing it tastes far from delicious [I take some pride in being a good cook, but I’ve had my share of disasters]
• The fear of watching my backyard turn into a pond every time we get heavy rains
• The terrible sadness of watching a grown child make terrible life choices

 

However, I am really glad I know the following things…

• The feeling of happiness that comes from eating a delicious meal I’ve prepared for my family
• What my backyard smells like after a summer shower
• The peace of knowing I did my best to make my mom’s final years on earth as happy and pain-free as possible
• The new-mama feeling of birthing a new book that I’ve spent months writing [and hoping/praying readers will enjoy the story]
• The smell of baking pound cake wafting through the house
• Delight at the yearly showing of autumn leaves
• How to enjoy singing even when it’s just me, alone in my house [let’s just say if Mel Torme and Julie Andrews had had a baby…]
• The love of my children, who remember how it feels to be an orphan
• The serenity of faith that a loving God always has my back
• How blessed I am to have cousins who are also dear friends, and friends who feel like family
• The maturity that allows me to not get freaked out all the time over little things

Turning the Corner

My life has turned a major corner this summer, and it happened so fast that it has left me reeling. Mom went into the hospital June 24 and died the 28th, quite unexpectedly, so I have had a lot to adjust to in a short amount of time, it feels like.

I just realized the other day that I have not blogged in a while and I thought I should at least check in, let readers know what is going on. Covid has turned me (as well as so many others) into a bit of a hermit, and there are few happenings to write about.

I have only had to put gas in my car twice in the last six months.

I have not been to a restaurant and eaten there in many months. I don't even remember the last time. I have only been to the store [Walgreens] once in several months. Most everything can be gotten in the drive-thru. I get groceries delivered.

I have two masks in my purse. One is utilitarian. I was given it last time Mom was in the hospital when I could go see her, which was March. The other one is a University of Georgia mask my sweet cousin made for me.

My daughter came to visit last weekend. It was so good to have her home. She is almost thirty years old, which is mind-boggling to me. We went through a lot of my mother's things and Alesia took some of her jewelry and clothing home. Mom would have liked that.

My son was here for the weekend, too. Felt like old times, with both my kids home.

I have been contemplating selling my house. I don't want to sell it. If I can rent out Mom's room, I should be able to keep it. I am slowly getting it cleaned out and ready to rent. I was sick for about two weeks in July, and it has taken me some time to feel 100% again. For the past couple of weeks Michael has been sick. He is much better now, after seeing the doctor. He has to help me with Mom's room. We need to move out all the furniture so it can be re-carpeted.

We have been blessed not to have too hot a summer. Few days have seen temps over 95. Many days the highs have been in the 80's, which is cool for Atlanta in the summer.

I am working on my third novel, trying to finish the first draft. It's a big, sprawling story, taking place over hundreds of years and two continents, so much research is needed.

That's about all the news.

I pray daily for God to help me see the direction my life should take now. I pray for our country to get past this pandemic. I pray for all the folks who have covid. I pray for a vaccine. I pray for the November election to go well.

I know miracles happen every day. My two are below.

 

 

Judging the Past

There is a new piece over at The Bitter Southerner, On Flannery O'Connor and Race: A Response to Paul Elie, and it sparked these thoughts in me when I read it.

Flannery O'Connor was a product of her time and place, as are we all. It's a fair piece about a complicated writer who certainly doesn't deserve to be simply vilified and dismissed because she had some racist ideas. Every writer of fiction [including myself] risks being criticized for our prejudices. (Every human has prejudices, and to pretend otherwise is naive.) It's impossible to write fiction without exposing our soft underbellies, opening ourselves up to criticism or even ridicule. Our prejudices always come through. What we (I am speaking about all literate humans) must not do is to silence voices we simply don't like or agree with, because then we will have struck a deal with the devil. 

I wanted to expand on that a bit.

I understand why protestors want to take down statues that glorify the Lost Cause which includes a south where slavery flourishes. However, I was dismayed to see a news article recently about statue topplers in Missouri going after Thomas Jefferson. I applaud the University of Missouri for not taking down Jefferson's statue. [LINK]

Jefferson was a product of his time and place. He wrote "all men are created equal." Not "all people" -- which would have included women. He owned slaves. He was also a critic of slavery and freed some of his slaves. This page on the Monticello website explains his positions carefully. Most historians accept that he fathered children with one of his slaves, Sally Hemmings. Did he rape Sally Hemmings or was it a love story? Nobody knows. She was the half sister of his deceased wife. Did he love his children by her? Nobody knows, but the fact they were freed after his death says something. He was neither all good or all bad. He was complex.

My comparison of O'Connor and Jefferson is deliberate. We can write millions of words about great writers, artists and politicians who had prejudices we find abhorrent. That doesn't mean it's fair to dismiss or villify them.

However, I totally understand the removal of statues of Andrew Jackson, a man who put some of my Cherokee ancestors on the Trail of Tears. I am puzzled as to why historians debate whether or not it was genocide.

However, if we start looking at every president and judging them we will have to take down almost every single statue and memorial. FDR refused to allow Jews who were fleeing the Nazi regime to enter the United States. He also cheated on his wife with several mistresses. However, if he had not been elected we might not have won World War II, and we might all be living under a Nazi regime, even now.

President Lyndon Johnson championed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. "The Civil Rights Act of 1964, which ended segregation in public places and banned employment discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex or national origin, is considered one of the crowning legislative achievements of the civil rights movement."

Yet LBJ was no saint. He also cheated on his wife and it could be argued he was a serial womanizer. He also was a racist. Johnson escalated the Vietnam War and a lot of Americans died as a result.

 

We have raised the current generation in a world where Hollywood heavily influenced them, and Hollywood makes zillions of dollars on a simple idea: there are heroes and villains. You are either for us or against us.

The Good Guys vs. The Bad Guys.

Many millennials do not read. They cannot think critically and debate fairly. Everything is either black or white. It's much easier to live that way, to hold views like that, to go out and topple statues or hurl stones.

The problem is that if we allow their immaturity and judgement to win, we will lose so much that is valuable. We will lose writers like Flannery O'Connor. We will ignore all the extraordinary accomplishments of Thomas Jefferson, FDR, and LBJ. We will, as a society, drive underground people who express opinions or prejudices we don't like, as they did during the Chinese Cultural Revolution.

America was founded on the idea of freedom. Freedom can be ugly and messy. It's still worth fighting for. Heroes are never perfect. They can hold ideas that are, to our eyes, vile, but we must refuse to allow a simplistic Good Guy/Bad Guy mindset to prevail.

A Statue is Not Just A Hunk of Metal or Stone

I am tempted to stop watching the nightly network news because so much of it makes me really upset. This country has never been more divided than it is right now. Everyone I know is angry and upset about what we see every time we turn on the news or get on social media.

I understand why there are riots going on. George Floyd was treated brutally by the police. Nobody can really argue that there aren't racists among the police officers -- although I firmly believe that the vast majority of police officers are NOT racist and should be honored for what they do. I can even understand why the protests are happening. If they bring about real change, awesome. I am not seeing that right now, though. Rioting and vandalism solve nothing, heal nothing. On the other side, I am seeing a lot of angry folks, horrified by the destruction and afraid to express their feelings for fear of being called racists.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. changed the world because he looked to the example of Mahatma Gandhi in India and went about protesting peacefully, to bring about real change. When Dr. King was assassinated his work went on. Peaceful protestors inspire change. Violent rioters inspire fear and disgust.

Do the vandals and rioters in the streets really understand why Dr. King was so successful? Obviously not.

I'm particularly disturbed by the fact that so much vandalism of statuary proves that the vandals have no idea about their history. A Revolutionary War statue was vandalized in North Carolina [LINK]. Many other monuments, including one honoring three black men who were wrongly lynched, prove the vandals are simply being destructive and they have no real concern for the truth [LINK].

The defacement that makes me the most sad happened in Boston a couple of weeks ago. Robert Gould Shaw was a Union officer who led the Union army's first all-black regiment, and the Shaw Memorial honors him and the 270 black soldiers he led. This article, Rioters deface monument honoring all black regiment of Union Civil War soldiers, talks about this desecration. I remember watching the 1989 movie Glory and being fascinated and saddened by it because it depicts what those ex-slaves went through to become soldiers, the racism they suffered at the hands of the Union army, and the terrible risks they took. Had they been captured they likely would have been re-enslaved.

"I run off and left all my kinfolk in bondage. We want them to know, heavenly father, that we died for freedom!" [Morgan Freeman's character in Glory]

This scene [link] is one of the many powerful scenes in Glory. Movie like Glory are so important, because studying history should not be dry and cold and boring. It should be thrilling. Movies are important teaching tools. I was happy when my son told me his middle school Social Studies teacher showed them the entire movie.

I didn't know until I started doing research for this blog that the man who wrote Glory was inspired to write it after he saw the monument pictured at left.

"Kevin Jarre's inspiration for writing the film came from viewing the monument to Colonel Shaw and the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry in Boston Common.^[3] The 54th was the first formal unit of the Union Army to be made up entirely of African-American enlisted men; all of the officers were white men. His screenplay was based on two books, Lincoln Kirstein's Lay This Laurel (1973) and Peter Burchard's One Gallant Rush (1965), and the personal letters of Robert Gould Shaw.^[4][5]" -- Wikipedia

My research turned up more fascinating information about this monument, from this article: 16 Statues and Memorial Were Damaged During Sunday's Protests, Including One Dedicated to African American Soldiers.

"When it came time to memorialize Shaw, his family wanted him to be shown not alone, but with his men, Vizza said. The renowned sculptor Augustus Saint-Gaudens won the commission to create a large-scale bronze relief. With the help of African American models, Vizza explained how he executed a work that showed the Black soldiers as human beings, not caricatures. Saint-Gaudens worked for 14 years to finish the piece before it debuted in 1897."

“This monument is considered one of the nation's greatest pieces of public art and the greatest piece to come out of the Civil War,” said Liz Vizza, executive director of the Friends of the Public Garden, “It was, amazingly enough, dedicated 123 years ago on May 31st – the day it was defaced.”

I want to end this blog with a powerful quote from Dr. King:

“If we are not careful, our colleges will produce a group of close-minded, unscientific, illogical propagandists, consumed with immoral acts. Be careful, 'brethren!' Be careful, teachers!”  

—“The Purpose of Education” from Morehouse College student newspaper, The Maroon Tiger, 1947