The Crab Chronicles

Elva

My mother always said "If you don't laugh, you'll cry. Laughing's better." She did a lot of laughing during her 86 years. Elva Hasty Thompson was born in Marietta, Georgia in 1933, and she left us today.

While it makes me very sad to lose her, because I will miss her terribly, I am also rejoicing.

Mom is in heaven, I am sure. The macular degeneration, arthritis, and hearing loss that plagued her in recent years are gone now. She is whole and perfect, and with the Lord. I know this like I know the sun will rise in the East tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom was born at the height of the Depression and times were tough. My grandfather [Bob Hasty, who had played major league baseball for 5 seasons] had to stop playing minor league baseball and get a regular job. He went to work coaching the baseball teams for companies like Atlanta Gas Light and Foremost Dairy.

They moved a lot.

Mom was whip smart and always did well in school, despite all the moving around. My mom could read a book and listen to the teacher at the same time, and recall everything the teacher said. One teacher tested that, accusing Mom of reading during class, and Mom repeated her lecture word for word -- that was in high school. She kept reading in class but made top grades anyway.

After World War II the family came back to Atlanta. Mom was in 6th grade.They bought a beautiful old home on 9th Street and Mom rode her bicycle all over the area, and learned to swim at The Atlanta Women's Club.

Elva graduated from Grady High School in 1952. She went to the University of Georgia and got her BS in Education. She worked and got loans and completely paid her own way through college -- a really uphill battle but one that made her a strong person. She became a teacher. She made very little money but loved teaching and always told stories about those years and how much she loved her students.

In 1956 she met my dad, who was living and working in Atlanta, for one of his cousins. They married in February 1957, and moved to Augusta.

They lived in Augusta until 1970, and had two children, my older brother Bruce in 1959, and me in 1962.

Elva had a wonderful singing voice. She would sit at the piano and play and we would sing together from the time I was a baby. She played entirely by ear, and her arpeggios would have rivaled Liberace's. In her youth, she sang for weddings and special events around Atlanta, and did a USO tour and sang for the soldiers back from Korea. We rarely had a party when I was a kid that someone didn't say "Elva, sing for us."

"Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" was her signature song.

She was a soloist for the Men's Glee Club at the University of Georgia. She also soloed at First Baptist here in Atlanta, and sang at other local churches when they needed a soloist. Several times she sang in choruses for the Billy Graham crusades and she revered him.

When she married Dad and became a mom, she was all about being a mom. Even though it was a financial sacrifice, she stayed home with us so we would never come home to a cold empty house, as she had as a child. We came home to snacks and long chats with her.

Mom had a lot of hobbies. She knitted. She beaded sweaters. She did decoupage in the 70's. She loved to garden and grew amazing gardens. She loved to read and read voraciously, even after arthritis limited her to using a Kindle.

Mom was always an amazing storyteller. She had a fantastic sense of humor and could make just about anyone laugh. She had one date after Dad died, and the old man's tooth fell out during dinner -- a story she told with great amusement.

Mom became a widow in 1996 when my father passed away from cancer. She was only 61. She never wanted to marry anyone else, though. She laughed when Bruce and I suggested it. She stayed busy with her church and garden club, and took trips to the beach with friends.

When I adopted my daughter in 2004, Mom stepped in to be an amazing grandmother. She sold her house in Augusta and moved over here to help me, and what a blessing it was for all of us. When Michael came along a few years later she spent his first summer tutoring him and he thrived in school, skipping a grade after only one year. She always said it was her pleasure to tutor him because he was/is so smart. They had a special bond.

Mom was one of a kind. Smart, funny, always a fighter. She loved her friends and she had a lot of great ones. She loved her family and we all felt that love.

For the rest of my life I will hear her voice in my head. I will think of her when I smell a gardenia. I will remember all the great times we had together.

I will rejoice, because God gifted me with the best mama in the world.

There will never be another one like her. That's okay. She was my greatest source of love, my biggest champion, my best friend, and I am so grateful she was with me for so long. 

I've posted some other photos below. Click on them to make them bigger.

 

 

The Hendersons

I have often shared here how much I love old photos. They seem like time capsules to me. I scanned in the old photo below, that was made probably sometime around 1940, and it evokes a lot of feelings and memories, for me, so I wanted to share it. My father didn't see this photo until later in his life but I know he cherished it.

The little boy is my dad. He would have been probably around 10 years old. I have only a couple of photos of him as a child. He was born in 1930, when the Great Depression was in full swing and times were hard. At some point during his childhood his mother got a camera, a Brownie. He said she never called it a camera, she called it simply The Brownie. However, film cost money, and getting it developed cost money and there was probably nowhere to take it in Hepzibah, Georgia, so Augusta would have been where it had to go, and that was a bit of a drive (30-45 minutes) in the 1930's and 1940's.

I believe this photo was made at a family reunion of some sort, and was obviously better than the little snaps made with a Brownie.

I emailed this photo to my Thompson cousins yesterday and one of them remarked how much the little boy looks like my brother, Bruce. So true. I hadn't noticed it before. We've always said Bruce looks more Hasty than Thompson, but there's no doubt he's Tony Thompson's son, from this photo.

My grandmother Cordelia is seated on the far left, and she looks amused. I imagine Daddy was cutting up (as he did all his life, especially when happy) and somebody told him to go sit down in the chair and be quiet. That was always hard for him.

The older lady seated next to Cordelia I believed was my great grandmother Martha Adelaide Beall Henderson. However, when I Googled her and found a photo of her headstone I realize I was wrong. Martha Beall Henderson died in 1926, many years before this photo was made. So the lady in the photo must be Emma Foss/Dinkins, the oldest child. She married twice and had no children, and would have been about 67 in the photo.

My grandmother Cordelia was one of the youngest of the 13 children. Amusingly, Ancestry lists Cordelia's mother Martha Beall Henderson as having only 3 children, and Find A Grave lists only 7 children. She and Grandaddy had at least 13 children. (There may have been a child or two that didn't survive infancy, which was common back then.) The last child recorded only lived a year. Martha was born in 1853 and had her first child in 1873 -- kind of old to be having a first child in those days. Her last child was born when she was 43, so she spent 23 years having children, bless her.

Most of the ladies in the photo above are well known to me. My aunt Ceph is standing right behind my grandmother. She had an enormous bosom and was a tall lady, and I was scared of her as a child because she made it clear she adored my dad and didn't have much use for me or my brother... Her husband Grady was one of the sweetest men in the world, though, and I loved him dearly. He was a postal carrier for more than 35 years. When my father was in graduate school and ran out of money, only a few credits shy of graduation, Uncle Grady loaned him the money to finish. Dad was always so grateful for that -- and paid him back, every penny.

Two of the ladies pictured, Virginia and Parmee, were daughters of Joe, the second oldest Henderson sibling, and they were very close to my grandmother Cordelia, and subsequently our entire family. I remember them as older ladies, always smiling and delightful. They loved my dad very much, and showed it. He loved them, too.

Virginia's granddaughter Lesleigh is my first cousin twice removed or 2nd cousin or something like that. I've never gotten it straight. I just call her Cousin. She is also a dear friend of mine -- more like a sister than a cousin. At left, the two of us around 2001.

I love that there are enduring friendships among the Henderson descendants. Since Dad died we haven't had but a couple of reunions, but many of us stay in touch anyway.

 

I have always been interested in genealogy and I've learned many interesting things about Martha Beall and James Lewis Henderson.

Martha was descended from a French Huguenot named Pleasant Thurmond.Yes, we are distantly related to Senator Thurmond.

James Lewis Henderson is descended from Augustine Warner, one of the first Englishmen in Virginia, whose descendants number in the thousands and include folks like Thomas Jefferson, Robert E. Lee, and George Washington.

Ironically, I live off Henderson Mill Road, and I think we are related to the Hendersons who owned the mill many years ago.

Among us Henderson descendants are writers, teachers, engineers, marketing professionals, medical professionals, businessmen and women, artists, professors, and more.

At left, me and some of my Henderson cousins attending the Highland Games here in Atlanta, about 2004. We are part Scottish and connect to the Clan Henderson.

I love re-connecting with cousins and do it as often as I can.

I find the links to our ancestors interesting, but not as interesting as the ties to folks I've known all my life. I am proud to be a Henderson, and proud of my family and its many accomplishments.

Recovering from Food Snobbery

I was delighted to see my article A Recovering Food Snob was posted by The Bitter Southerner this morning. Writing it was a labor of love, and sort of a confessional, truth be told. 

I am not the world's greatest cook. I like to cook and I can do a respectable meal, whether for family or company, but I do not have the cooking brilliance of my grandmother or mother, who are/were incredible cooks, and they mostly cooked during times when convenience foods were very limited to American housewives. 

I've always said when I get to heaven, I expect my first meal there will be Memaw's fried chicken, biscuits, rice and gravy, green beans, congealed salad, and pound cake. 

In heaven, I'm sure nobody is fat.

Although the Bitter Southerner was good enough to publish a photo I sent, of Mama and Memaw, I thought you might like to see some photos of the cast of characters in the article. 

Below, Granny Butler [Beulah Phillips Butler] her wedding portrait (left) and her as an older lady

right, Memaw with my uncle as a baby, abt. 1926

below, my grandparents before they were married

above, Bobby, Memaw holding my mother -- below right, Memaw, Papaw, my mom and her brothers

   

 

 

above, Mom and my aunt Myrtle, when both were teenagers

above, at Mom and Dad's wedding -- Memaw, my aunts Myrtle and Jane Hasty, and Dad's mother on the far right, in the back

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

above, Mom and Dad's wedding in 1957

from left: Papa Hasty, Memaw, Mom, Dad, my grandmother Cordelia and uncle Lewis Thompson

above, me and Mom, 1971

below, Mom and me and my brother

above, my parents in 1981

Snow in Atlanta

Snow is very rare here. Although we got less than in inch of snow last night, all the schools in the metro area are closed, and everyone is staying home. The road in front of my house is clearing off in the sunshine but the HIGH today is going to be 30 and there are a lot of icy patches. Slush will freeze overnight, making it likely nobody will go anywhere tomorrow morning either. However, the high tomorrow is going to be in the 40's so this will all be gone by tomorrow evening I feel sure.

Photos of Us

It occurred to me recently that I had not posted many photos of us in recent months. It has been a stressful time, for lots of reasons, chief among them Mother not feeling well and needing to go to the hospital and then the rehab place over the summer. Then when she got home she continued to have bathroom issues but those are resolved now, thank goodness. 

When I come through a challenging time in life and get to the other side it's always a big exhale, a big THANK YOU to the Lord for seeing us through each crisis, which he always does. 

So here are some glimpses of us...

My brother has come to visit us several times, helping with Mother. Here he is playing with Lola -

Michael has become an accomplished maker of crepes - below left, Bruce and Lesleigh and Michael

Lola loves to sit with Michael while he watches TV

above, Mom looking MUCH better!

below, me trying to make a decent selfie

Images of Home

My birthday was excellent. Several friends came by and visited with me, and we had crock pot barbeque, tex mex dip, deviled eggs, and an incredible peanut butter pie.

Of course, food is important to any celebration.

Mom gave me a new phone for my birthday, a Samsung 7 and it takes awesome photos. Below are a few examples.

below left, my friend Gary, Mike's friend K, and Mike

me and my brother / right, Mike and Lola

 

One thing I really appreciate about being older is the ability to just stay home and relax, and not deal with crowds of people. Mike and some of his friends went to Stone Mountain and had a great time, and saw a spectacular fireworks display, but I have no interest in fireworks any more.

 

 

 

below some shots from around the neighborhood

 

 

Easters Yesterday and Today

Easter for me as a small child was all about the basket and the goodies, particularly candy. The bunny reigned supreme at our house. (I'm keeping it real, here.) I loved getting a new dress -- and usually a new purse and/or hat -- and going to church to show off.

Of course, as an Episcopalian in the 1960's, women had to wear head coverings to church, and I had to cover my head too. (See shot below with the bow: by the late 1960's I could get away with a big bow.)

Only after I grew old enough to really understand about Jesus did I realize the bittersweet nature of Easter, a time of new life and new growth and yet tinged with sadness because our Lord had been crucified. Did he really rise from the dead? I believe so. Let scholars debate. Faith understands things that defy science. When we teach the resurrection, I think we are teaching children about what it means to be misjudged and persecuted, if we do it right. Also, it's about feeling upset and alone, maybe even betrayed, and yet surrendering to God, who can take even murder and tragedy and make a miracle.

Above, me at age 7, I think. Above right, Mom and Dad and Bruce, Easter 1962 - I know because Mother is pregnant with me. I think she still has that hat, actually. (That may have been the hat she used a week's grocery money on; not sure..) Above left, me about 5 years old, with the basket; we still have the painting and the piano I'm standing in front of, fyi..

My father was miserly with the camera, so the shots from my childhood tend to be either Christmas, Easter, birthdays, or vacations. There are very few "day in the life" type photos. Kids today will never know the patience one had to have with pictures - buying film, inserting it in the camera, rewinding, taking it out and getting it to a shop for development, waiting a week or so -- nowadays everyone has a camera on their phone. Instant memories made -- and I'm glad of that, but the waiting taught us something today's kids don't understand, I fear..

Anyway, we basically had our family Easter yesterday. Bruce wasn't able to come for the weekend, unfortunately. However, Michael came for the afternoon and stayed for dinner (he's living in his own place now) and he gave me my Easter "present" - going with me to buy flowers and planting them in the ground for me. I forgot about mulch but he can do that next time he's home. Michael has to work today, so we celebrated yesterday. Even though he is 20, I got him a chocolate bunny. My mom continued buying chocolate bunnies for me for years after I was grown.

I rarely ever go to church on Easter because of the crowds. I much prefer to sit out Easter Sunday and just have a relaxing "day off," as much as possible.

Below are some shots of the flowers. I went with an all-pink theme this year.

 

 

Broad Street Augusta Georgia, 1946

I found some old photos and an old book manuscript in a box in my garage. Apparently it was a book about the history of the old First National Bank in Augusta where my dad worked, but the manuscript never got published. Really cool to see a folder preserved since 1946, more than 70 years. This photo is my favorite so I scanned it in. This is what Broad Street looked like in 1946. It looks the same today but very different. Lots more trees planted today, plus a statue of James Brown, Augusta's favorite son.. If you're from Augusta or you've ever been there to visit, you should get a kick out of this. I was born in Augusta in 1962 and lived there until we moved to Tennessee in 1971. Still love the town. My Dad grew up there. I still have family there.

Mom and Ingrid Bergman

I had an email from one of my second cousins the other day pointing out how much my mom resembled Ingrid Bergman in the 1950's, when both were young. I have always noticed the comparison but I didn't think anyone else really saw it. Apparently they do.

The obvious difference is that Ingrid was 5'9, and my mom's height is 5'4.

I bet when Ingrid was in Casablanca they had to put Humphrey Bogart on a box for their closeup love scenes because he was only about 5'8.

Of course, there was a big age difference. In late 1933 when Mom was born, Ingrid was already a student at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, since she was born in 1915.

Anyway, just for fun, I went back and found some photos of Mom from the 50's, and some photos of Ingrid Bergman, although hers are likely a bit earlier than that.

The resemblance isn't so obvious here, tho' they were about the same age here.

below, Mom with Dad when they were engaged -- not sure when this photo of Bergman was made

 

 

 

 

Ingrid Bergman was a terrific actress and I have enjoyed all her movies that I've ever watched. I particularly love Casablanca, and one of my favorite memories is of seeing it when I was a teenager, at the historic and fabulous Tennessee Theatre in Knoxville. (I learned all the words so I could sing "As Time Goes By," because I loved that movie so much.)

Mom was never an international movie star, but she was a well-known singer around Atlanta in her youth, at weddings and at church, and for the USO. She also had several marriage proposals before my dad came along. Unlike Ingrid, Mom married a handsome guy and stayed married to him for 40 years. More importantly, Mom is still going strong at the age of 82 and Ingrid died of cancer at the age of 67, which was such a shame; thankfully Ingrid still lives on in her children and grandchildren and of course we can all still enjoy her many movies.

below, Mom and Dad in Venice, about 1989

One of Mom's favorite movies is a classic from 1969 called Cactus Flower, starring Ingrid Bergman, Walter Matthau, and a very young Goldie Hawn. If you've never seen it, watch it. Classic, and Bergman is awesome, as always.

 

Spring

Beautiful day here - 71 and the flowers are blooming. I was trying to snap a photo of the flower next to Lola's head and she thought it was something to eat.

Not much to report here. Happy to see some nicer weather!