The Crab Chronicles

Love and War

Years ago I saw a movie with Sandra Bullock and Chris O'Donnell, In Love and War. I have always been fascinated by Ernest Hemingway and by World War I, plus I studied Italian for two years so it checked a lot of my boxes. It's an excellent movie. Bullock plays a serious character, and it's a real departure from her comedic roles. My opinion of her skills went up 1,000% when I saw that movie. It got me to thinking recently, about the two big themes we find in most of literature.

Love and War

The two things that fascinate most human beings are, quite simply, Love and War. Those subjects are prominent in many bestselling books.

The book Gone With the Wind proved this in 1936 when it was published and went on to become a huge bestseller. (Yes, I know it has a lot of racism, but I don't condemn writers who had no control over the world they were born into. Mitchell became far less racist later in her life when she observed the disparity between medical care available to black and white folks in Atlanta, and went on the personally fund many scholarships for black doctors at Morehouse School of Medicine, as you can read about here.)

Another favorite book of mine, The Winds of War by Herman Wouk, and its sequel, explore love and war from a male perspective. Excellent books.

In my own writing, I've written a lot about Love, but I've written very little about war. There are some chapters in my book Heart of My Own Heart that are set during the Civil War, but I didn't try to write battle scenes or say much about the war itself.

 

As women, we tend to be far more interested in the small wars that make up life for most of us -- wars with our parents, our boyfriends, lovers, husbands, children, etc. We have to fight personal wars for career advancement, for our right to be creative and nonconformist, for respect as intellectuals and caretakers, and more. We fight to get our children what they need, so they can have better childhoods than we had. We fight for respect if we choose to stay home and take care of our families and not work.

The truth is, most women are quiet warriors.

We have to learn how to get what we want and what we need in a world that so often judges us harshly if we are too beautiful or if we are not beautiful enough -- exactly why the Barbie movie resonates so strongly with so many people. We are supposed to not sacrifice femininity for aggressiveness. We are supposed to be perfect wives, mothers, sisters, friends, etc. and look perfect and work, and do it ALL. In a way, Scarlet O'Hara broke new ground because she is the first woman to express so many things no women expressed publicly in 1936.

In Gone With the Wind, Scarlet represents a strong, flawed female main character. She isn't beautiful -- it says so in the very first sentence of the book. She is manipulative and impulsive and immature, like most 16 year olds. Scarlet is 16 when the book opens. However, she grows up fast when the Civil War gets to Atlanta and she has to deliver a baby and try to get home. Then she takes on the task of trying to farm and make enough money to support herself and her family members. For the first time, readers were shown a world behind the scenes of war, where the fighting was very real, the stakes very high, and courage was displayed by those who had no choice but to be brave -- and yet the main character/hero wore skirts and wasn't "ladylike."

Women could identify with Scarlet because in 1936 women were still struggling to deal with the Great Depression and with trying to hold their families together. They had children to feed. They had to work, though most weren't raised to work away from home. The 19th century view of women was that we were fragile, delicate creatures. By 1936 those stereotypes had to be scrapped and we had to become tough and resilient, like Scarlet.

My grandmothers, Wilma Butler and Cordelia Henderson, came from well-to-do, socially prominent families. They were raised to get married and have children and nothing else. They both had to work hard to keep their families together during some very hard times in the 1930's. Cordelia helped her husband run a store, and then went back to teaching. Memaw [Wilma Butler Hasty] took all kinds of jobs to help support her family. The most compelling family story I heard about my Memaw driving alone to New York in 1933 to get her husband back inspired me to write Return to Marietta.

I don't write about war the way men write about war. Descriptions of battles where people are violently killed don't appeal to me. I much prefer to write about the little "wars" we all fight, as human beings. Women are fighters because we have to fight. I don't know any women who have been raised in the lap of luxury and had easy lives. Every woman I know has had to adapt and learn to fight, whether she wanted to or not.

I am proud to come from a long line of fighters, female warriors who retained their femininity and the respect of folks in their communities. We all live in a world of Love and War, and as God is my witness, I'll never back down from showing that in everything I write. There are all kinds of weapons used in all kinds of wars, and as women we are experts in fighting for ourselves and our families. God Bless us all.

Below left, Mom and me as a baby. Below right, the only photo I have of me and my mother and grandmother [Memaw] -- if you don't see it, click on the number.

#femaleempowerment, #girlpower, #womenwarriors, #strongwomen, #femalerolemodels, #scarletohara, #strongwomen

The 2022 Best Picture Oscar

The Oscars are tonight and I will be watching, as I have done every year since 1972. That year I was ten years old and I was supposed to be in bed by 9 p.m. but most nights, after my parents went down to the basement level to watch TV, I snuck into the kitchen and watched TV on the small set in there, with the sound very low.

I remember seeing Charlie Chaplin win a lifetime achievement Oscar in 1972 and I was very happy because I knew who he was from watching silent movies at Shakey's Pizza.

I have always loved movies. My parents loved movies. My mother went into labor with me at a John Wayne movie in 1962. My parents used to load me and my brother into the station wagon and take us to the drive in movie and we would play in the back and then fall asleep. Paying our way in was no problem because I think kids under 6 got in free. It was cheaper than paying a babysitter.

Movies offered an escape. I would sit there in the dark and feel like I was actually part of the action of the movie. Movies consumed me. They were like a two hour vacation from every day reality. I was the fat kid who got bullied a lot in school. I was a tomboy and my mother was constantly trying to make me ladylike. I was constantly craving Dad's attention and he worked all the time, and spent a lot of free time taking my brother hunting. I outgrew my clothes every five minutes and so my clothes usually didn't fit properly. I didn't learn to read until second grade and before that I was convinced that I was an idiot and my parents were too nice to be honest with me about it.

In short, childhood was not a happy time for me. I spent much of it being miserable and wishing I were somewhere else.

Movies offered escape. Once I learned to read, at age 7, books did too.

I was watching a story on CBS Sunday Morning a few minutes ago about this being the 50th anniversary of the release of The Godfather. We went to see that as a family. I don't remember much about seeing the movie that first time except the wedding scenes. My parents loved it. It offered a glimpse into a world that was entirely alien to me. I didn't know anyone who was Italian. All I knew was the white middle class suburban Southern world.

This year I have only seen a few of the movies nominated for Best Picture, but I am dismayed by the choices. Here are a few thoughts about the films I have seen.

Last night I watched Belfast, which I thought looked charming. I am part Irish and I usually enjoy seeing movies filmed in Ireland. Kenneth Branagh usually does excellent films and he wrote and directed it. Caitriona Balfe and Jamie Dornan star and I like them both. Unfortunately, I hated it. It was in black and white, which was very frustrating. The plot meandered all over the place. The accents were so thick I couldn't understand some of the dialogue. The grandparents were played by Judy Dench and Ciaran Hinds and he is 20 years younger than her so that was bizarre and creepy. I was just disappointed by the whole thing.

 

I moderately disliked Belfast but I hated Don't Look Up. I wanted to slap every character. The movie is just a long sermon about climate change from Leo DiCaprio -- an overgrown child who only dates supermodels and who flies all over the world in a private jet lecturing everyone about climate change. The day after I saw the movie I went back and re-watched Armageddon -- a much better movie with a sense of humor.

 

BTW, in 1998 these were the Best Picture nominees: Titanic, The Full Monty, LA Confidential, Good Will Hunting, and As Good As It Gets. All terrific pictures. Titanic won, which was insane, but at least all the films were excellent. This year instead of 5 films we have 10 and several of them are awful.

 

I have always liked and admired director Jane Campion. I really liked The Piano and Portrait of a Lady. Unfortunately, I hated Power of the Dog, which is another 2022 Best Picture nominee. Power of the Dog is basically about intolerance and people being cruel and/or abusive. I don't mind seeing conflict onscreen but I hate seeing abuse. It was really hard for me to watch.

 

Nightmare Alley is the only other movie I have seen that's nominated for Best Picture. It tries to be an old-fashioned film noir and it almost succeeds but there are too many bizarre elements to make it authentic noir, in my opinion.  David Strathairn, one of my fave character actors, is awesome. Bradley Cooper and Cate Blanchett are great, as always.

 

I want to see all the other nominees except Drive My Car and Dune, and I may watch one or two this afternoon.

 

Encounters With the Famous

A colleague of mine told me today she was a huge Elvis fan and saw him in person in the early 1950's at the Paramount Theater here in Atlanta. I love stories like that. I have a friend who is a professional actor (Jeff Joslin) and he has some great stories about working with celebs like Tyler Perry and others.

What I have found, generally, is that most celebrities are nice and friendly to fans. I've read that the bigger the celebrity the nicer they are, if approached in public.

I interviewed a celebrity who was on a sitcom many years ago in Knoxville, when he was in town doing a charity event. He was not nice. I was a cute little 18 year old girl and at nearly 5'4 I was taller than him, which might have had something to do with it.. I had convinced my editor to let me do the interview (this guy was not a big star at all) and wrote up a nice piece about the actor, but wow was he a jerk. I could never figure out why. His agent, who barely spoke English, mailed me a press package and addressed it to Dee Fahnsen. That was after I had spelled "Thompson" into the phone about four times.

I have only had a few other instances of being close to a celeb, in my life:

1) I saw boxer Evander Holyfield at Houston's in Buckhead in the late 90's. He was pure muscle. I followed him from the restroom back to his table and then veered off before he could call the cops and have me arrested for stalking.I was fascinated to see someone whose body appeared to be carved out of stone. Wow. I kinda understand why Evander has 11 children.

2) Many years ago I worked at the daily newspaper in Knoxville and Dick Van Dyke was in town in a touring production of Damn Yankees. I got to tag along for the interview and meet him -- they wouldn't let me do the interview as I was only 17. He was incredibly friendly and genuine, and incredibly skinny.

3) in 1983 I was in New York visiting a friend and I snagged tickets to a preview of Death of a Salesman. I was 3rd row center, no more than 8 feet from Dustin Hoffman for much of the show. Incredible performance.

4) I ran into an actor named David Keith [he is best known for An Officer and a Gentleman] in a video store in Knoxville back in the mid 80's, and he was buying copies of every James Bond movie in the store. I introduced myself and we chatted a few minutes. We knew some of the same people from his time doing theater at UT. He was incredibly nice.

5) I saw Burt Reynolds and Dinah Shore at a UT football game in the early 1970's. Spent more time looking at them than the game, which irritated my dad. LOL

6) I sang in the Knoxville Opera Chorus after college, for a few productions, and one of them was Faust. Jerome Hines was the star, and a super nice man. We sat and chatted backstage and he remembered going out with my parents in Augusta many years before, a big thrill for my mom who was an opera fan and on the opera guild board. (She could have sung opera but chose to get married instead.) I like opera but only to sing, not to sit and watch. I did a production where Roberta Peters was the star and she was a teetotal diva.

As my grandfather used to say, they put on their pants one leg at a time, just like I do. He was a major league baseball player and had met quite a few celebs. They never impressed him.

I like to think of them as regular people with strange jobs. It helps me to not deify or vilify them.

Taking Issue With To Kill A Mockingbird

Last October, folks voted Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird as America's Best Loved Novel on the final show of PBS' The Great American Read. It is the all-time favorite book of many folks, famous and not so famous.

Demi Moore named her daughter Scout, after one of the main characters. [Hey, at least she wasn't named "Apple" or "Idaho" or "Valdosta." Celebrity child names always amuse me.]

To Kill A Mockingbird  is a novel set in the south, and the broad theme is tolerance. This NEA page gives a great summary and analysis of it. The main character, Scout, is 13 years old and living in a small southern town. Her mentally unstable neighbor Boo Radley is a main character, as is her father, a lawyer appointed to defend a black man falsely accused of rape.

I remember reading To Kill A Mockingbird when I was in high school, and disliking it immensely. My feelings were not popular. The book was revered by the late 1970's. My teacher was mightily annoyed with me for not worshiping the book.

I should state here for the record that although I love books and I have been an avid reader all my life, I do not think ANY book [not even the bible] should be worshiped. My view is that a book is only as good as the person who wrote it, and we are all flawed human beings. Books are flawed, as is any creative work by a human being. 

I recently started reading a book written by an acquaintance and I realized, much to my horror, that the book is riddled with examples of the author's disdain for and intolerance of southerners. That rankles. I could never look at the author the same way again. (Most authors do not realize how much they reveal themselves when they write a novel.)

I think Americans love To Kill A Mockingbird and revere it because it's about a good man, Atticus Finch, trying to correct the terrible racism of his time and place. There's nothing wrong with that. It's noble. It's praiseworthy. [Just FYI, I can never hear the words "Atticus Finch" without seeing the handsome and endearing Gregory Peck, my mother's favorite actor. We watched the movie when I was in high school.] 

The book was published in 1960, when America was on the cusp of social upheaval, and attitudes and prejudices were slowly being replaced with tolerance. Harper Lee's father was a small-town lawyer who had defended black clients and Lee had spent her childhood watching him argue cases. All authors tend to write what they know, and Lee knew the world she wrote about. 

I think what bothers me about To Kill A Mockingbird is the notion that most people in small southern towns are racist, and therefore the entire south is a racist, nightmarish place. That was probably true long ago. I won't argue differently. The south that I have lived in all of my life is not that nightmarish, racist place, however. [I wrote about it a bit in Memories of Segregation in The Bitter Southerner.]

The south I know and love is filled with good people. I have known far more Atticus Finch type people in my life than the book would indicate exist. A few examples:

    My grandfather Thompson ran a small country store in the 1930's and extended credit to black families, same as white families.

    My father championed the first black bank manager at his bank in the 1970's. The man told me years later he owed his career to Dad. Dad also hired and promoted a black lady in his department, at a time when the bank where he worked was 99% white.

    My parents left the Democratic party in the late 1950's, angering their parents, because they felt only the Republican party was in touch with the future and was tolerant and fair. At that time, most southern Democrats were very racist and definitely not in favor of desegregation.

    We had a black maid named Daisy when I was small. Mom made it clear we would call her MISS Daisy and treat her with respect and kindness, and Mom led by example.

    When I was growing up, to utter the "N word" in my house was a spanking offense.

    My brother had a girl friend in high school who was black. At a family reunion, when an elderly relative (who was quite racist) asked if he had a girlfriend, Brother pulled out the school photo of his friend and showed it to her, just to see the look on her face.

 

I have dear friends and relative who are black, Hispanic, Asian, gay -- and guess what? I live in a small southern town [Tucker, Georgia] and I am not a racist nor a homophobe. My parents were not racist or homophobic.

I champion diversity. I am happy my children are color-blind. 

Prejudices persist, though. Not long ago an attorney I worked with was told before she moved to Atlanta that she could expect racism and possibly violence because her mother was Mexican. The man who told her that had never even been to Georgia -- he was a Californian. He made her fearful of living here. She moved here about 2007 and has never encountered ANY racism towards herself or her family. None.

I am not going to argue that the south is a perfect Utopia of racial harmony. Of course not. It's a very flawed place, just like any other area of America. We are not the hideously racist and intolerant place depicted in To Kill A Mockingbird, however. Much has changed since that book was published.  

Did you know much of the movie Black Panther was filmed in Georgia? 

Many television shows and movies are filmed in Georgia these days -- see here. There are state of the art film production studios here, and Tyler Perry is a dynamic force in Georgia.

So we are not perfect, but we are not Mockingbird land either. I am proud of my state, and proud to be a southerner. That will never change.

 

 

The Danger of Witch Hunts

I was glad to turn on the news the other night and see Harvey Weinstein arrested. I think there's credible evidence that he was a sexual predator and used his power in Hollywood to take advantage of women, leading in some cases to actual assault.

Ditto for Bill Cosby, I'm sad to say. 

Ditto for Kevin Spacey. I had actually heard years ago that Spacey might be a child molester, but of course I hoped it was just a vicious rumor, not based in fact. Looks like I was wrong. 

Men who use their fame and power to take advantage of women (or men) sexually should be stopped, and punished. No one would argue about that.

Here's the problem, though.

Accusations are now always true. Sometimes they are, but they fall more into the category of miscommunication. Sexual dynamics are tricky.

What about a man who is just saying inappropriate things?

Who gets to decide if what he says is appropriate or not?

I saw the other day where Morgan Freeman is being accused of sexual harassment. I watched a videotape of him flirting with a young female reporter.

Now, was he just flirting, or was he being horribly inappropriate and should be punished?

The spectacle of watching a man in his 70's hitting on a woman 20, 30, 40 years his junior is really distasteful, but when does it turn into real harassment?

You see the dilemma here? 

I saw a meme the other day that went something like this: women read romance novels and think they present a real picture of relationships. Men watch porn and think the same thing. 

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on relationships, but I think there's a lot of sad truth in that. 

I have been an ardent feminist all my life, but feminism has not always had the best effect on male/female relationships. The sexual revolution, some men decided, was awesome, and gave them permission to be very aggressive because that's what women really wanted, right?! Men sometimes still think women want them to be sexually aggressive, and women usually do NOT want that, trust me. 

I was confronted once and kissed, violently, at a restaurant. I was at a bar and had been drinking beer -- hey it was college days. I definitely did NOT want a total stranger to grab me and kiss me, though. I ran out of there FAST. 

Now, what if it had been a guy I was attracted to? Would that have made it okay?  Would I have been thrilled and gone home with him? [No. Me at 19 years old?! Oh no. I was young and innocent. I wasn't ready for that, AT ALL.] 

See that's the trouble. 

So much depends on a woman's level of attraction to a man. It also depends on her maturity, her religion, her cultural background, her religious background.

Harvey Weinstein was in a power position, and he used that ruthlessly. Bill Cosby used his fame, and I'm sure to some extent his charm. 

If a man is older, bigger, more famous, more powerful, a boss -- those spell trouble, if he acts sexually aggressive towards a woman. 

And here's another observation, albeit perhaps politically incorrect: most women are simply not as strong as most men. I am 5'3 and when I was in the best physical shape of my life I was no match for a man who was of the same age and relatively normal strength.

Most men can overpower most women. There, I said it. Argue all you want, but it's true. Women understand this very well. Men often do not ever give it any thought. They don't get it because they have always [most men anyway] been in the power position. 

Most women [unless they are athletes or soldiers] understand the imbalance of power very well. 

A hundred years ago, women covered themselves up, from head to toe. Modesty in fashion was normal. 

Now, women walk around wearing blouses that show most of their breasts, skirts that are nearly gynecological, see-through clothing, etc. Should we be able to dress like that without fear of being hit on? 

Of course. We SHOULD be able to walk down the street buck nekkid and be perfectly safe. In a perfect world. 

We don't live in a perfect world, though. 

There are public figures who are getting accused of harassment that may or may not deserve it. 

I like watching actor James Franco. He was great in the Spiderman movies, and he's done other things that were awesome, like the miniseries 11/22/63, which Michael and I watched recently. Now, five women are accusing him of inappropriate or sexually exploitative behavior. Click on the link and read the story. It's very troubling. 

There are also accusations against Dustin Hoffman which are very disturbing. I have long admired Dustin Hoffman. I saw him in Death of a Salesman on Broadway in 1984 and was blown away. He is an incredible actor. I also loved him in The Graduate Little Big Man and Tootsie. So many excellent films.

If those two men did what they are accused of doing, I have zero sympathy for them. Zero.

I have a lot of sympathy for women in the Me Too movement, because I have experienced sexual harassment and felt like I couldn't do anything about it. 

However, I am apprehensive about all these allegations against all these men, because I think probably 90% of all the accusations represent situations that are very complex, and sometimes what is truly "right" or "wrong" is a matter of perception.

That guy who kissed me in the restaurant all those years ago? He had been drinking. I seriously doubt he went on to become a rapist. He shouldn't have kissed me. I was ambushed. However, what price should he have paid?

Male/female power dynamics are very tricky.

What if some women are using their stories of harassment for their own agendas? What if they are trying to get money or get famous?

I was a paralegal for years and I worked on a lot of lawsuits filed by women who claimed their bosses sexually harassed them. They were settled for pittances in almost every case. The problem was, the women usually started having affairs that were consensual, but when the bosses didn't give them what they wanted (a raise, a promotion, etc.) then they tried a different tack -- a lawsuit.

Now, were we biased? Of course. We didn't represent the women. 

After time went by and I reflected on it, I realized the women who filed lawsuits likely were very different from women who had been truly harassed, because traumatized women are often too scared to speak out. There may have been women who were truly harassed who just quit.

Many women until very recently were fearful of making harassment or even sexual assault accusations. 

Fear is a terrible thing. 

A man will often use a woman's fear against her.

However, being accused of sexual harassment falsely is also a terrible thing. Being accused of sexual assault falsely is a terrible thing. 

I think in many cases there is a power imbalance and the women's fear fuels the men's tendency to be harassing or exploitative.

I think also there may be many instances of misunderstanding. 

What is the solution? I don't think there is any easy solution. 

Like most complex problems, the solution is going to be complex as well. 

I do think that clear communication will help. Women need to communicate what is acceptable and what is not. Women need to be brave and speak up for themselves. 

Men need to not assume that their behavior is okay just because a woman doesn't explicitly call them out on it. You can usually look at someone's face and see fear or apprehension or discomfort. It doesn't take a mind reader.

Respect is a word that gets tossed around a lot but it's critical. Men need to respect a woman's space and not treat her like an object or a sex toy. Women need to respect themselves and not allow themselves to be objectified.

If women wear really sexually suggestive clothing they better assume the risk they might get harassed, or worse -- and I don't mean dressing provocatively invites that behavior. No woman dresses to get raped. I simply mean women just need to be aware of the risk they are taking, and take precautions.

Ladies, you can dress modestly and still be a strong powerful woman. 

Men, you can look at a lovely woman -- no matter how suggestively she is attired -- and control yourself.

If we don't rein in this witch hunt against men, though, I fear we are going to ruin lives and careers of guys who don't deserve that ruination. I fear we will become so judgmental there will be no room for apologies and amends, but situations will escalate immediately into public condemnation, lawsuits, even criminal charges, regardless of the truth. We have to have a dialogue that includes truth and respect on both sides.

I am very glad there is a national conversation on this topic. It's long overdue.

HOWEVER... we have to bring to light the truth, not simply exploit mistakes for personal gain. I mean that on both sides.

Book Club (movie review)

Back in the 80's my favorite TV show was Murphy Brown, mainly because it was a sitcom that made me laugh out loud. Sitcoms rarely ever tickle my funny bone to that extent. 

I never thought Candice Bergen was God's gift to acting, but the writing on the show was really sharp. 

Mary Steenburgen has consistently been in good movies and I have enjoyed watching her, despite a truly annoying voice.

I also must admit that even though I am not overly fond of Diane Keaton, I have enjoyed many of her movies, most notably Something's Gotta Give -- a truly brilliant and clever movie about people over 50 falling in love.

Right now I am being BOMBARDED by ads for Book Club.

I guess I am in the target demographic, a woman over 50. Still, I feel violated. I feel abused. I feel disgusted. 

Yep, I said it.

I DO NOT want to watch a movie about a bunch of old women who read Fifty Shades of Gray (insert retching sounds here) and decide to go have a lot of sex. 

I realize it's politically incorrect to say that. 

I don't care. 

I love Lily Tomlin (a truly brilliant and funny woman) and a couple of years ago I tried to watch a show called Grace & Frankie, because it looked rather clever. I watched until the episode when Jane Fonda kissed a man about 20 years younger than her, a long passionate kiss. Then I turned off Grace and Frankie and never watched it again. 

I have nothing personally against Ms. Fonda, although I know she's a figure of controversy.

I just find her appearance unsettling to the point of bizarre. She doesn't look like an 80 year old woman -- and I don't mean that as a compliment. She looks like an 80 year old woman trying desperately to look 60. Dyed hair, face surgically enhanced and makeup enhanced, flat stomach (possibly). I've never seen an 80 year old woman with a flat stomach that wasn't in the hospital, very ill, or wearing a very tight girdle. 

Old ladies have poochy bellies. It's just a fact. That's life. 

They also have wrinkled necks and aged hands -- no matter how smooth the face, the neck and hands don't lie.

I won't be seeing Book Club because I find it offensive. The trailer is offensive. 

Here's the rundown: four old ladies read Fifty Shades of Vomit -- excuse me, Gray -- and decide to go out and have a lot of sex. They joke a lot about sex. Sex is supposed to make them happy. 

Now, if anyone reading this is over 60 and likes to have sex a lot GOOD FOR YOU. More power to you. 

I just don't want to hear about it. 

I have read excerpts from Fifty Shades and it's not a book I will ever purchase or waste my time reading. I have to grudgingly admire the writer, though, because she has made millions off of it. 

I will never write a book where the main subject is S&M because I find it nauseating. However, we live in a free country and everyone should be entitled to do as they please, as long as everyone is of legal age and consents.  

 

I used to belong to a book club primarily consisting of women over 50. We had a lot of lively discussions. None of them were about sex. NONE OF THEM. I am no longer a member, primarily because I find it difficult to sit still for 2-3 hours at a time. I need to get up and move, or my back tends to ache. (This is not an issue for someone who works at home.)

Lots of my friends belong to book clubs, and enjoy them very much. Book clubs are, generally, great places for female bonding and I am VERY pro-book club. Plus, I love to read. 

I wish there were new movies aimed at people over 50 where sex was not the main theme, or the subplot causing a lot of awkward giggles and snorts. 

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a good example. Cleverly written, funny, touching, beautifully acted. Ms. Fonda was in another great movie about aging, On Golden Pond. 

As I've said before, there is a huge audience for movies about folks in my age group and older. Please don't insult our intelligence, though.

The men in Book Club seem to fare no better than the women. I love Andy Garcia. I just don't want to see him in such a crappy movie. Kill the Viagra jokes, please. 

Film writers: please write something real, and clever, about older folks who are not desperately trying to look and act younger.

Surely we can do better than Book Club...

Mini Movie Reviews

If there's any good thing about the flu it's that I had a chance to sit and watch several movies I had been wanting to see for a while. I didn't feel like doing much else, that's for sure. I went to Publix yesterday and was worn out by the time I got home. Got the perishables in the fridge and then just had to rest.

I am thinking next year I will get a flu shot. I used to get them and I got the flu anyway, sometimes, so I wasn't too impressed with their effectiveness, but after this bout of flu, I am thinking maybe the shot would be better..

Life has been very very quiet recently. So there's not much to report.

So here are some mini movie reviews, or at least my thoughts on some movies that are available to watch on DVD. I decided to give each film a letter grade, only because that's a quick way to get an idea of what I think. Part of my judgment is whether or not I ever want to see a movie again.

 

Denial

I really like movies based on true stories so this seemed like a good one to see.

This is the blurb from IMDB: "Acclaimed writer and historian Deborah E. Lipstadt must battle for historical truth to prove the Holocaust actually occurred when David Irving, a renowned denier, sues her for libel."

I didn't realize until I started watching the movie that the main character, a college professor named Deborah Lipstadt, is a real person and she teaches at Emory University, which is about 20 minutes down the road from my house. They filmed some of the movie there. I was pleased to read this article which talks about the fact that Atlanta is now the third most popular place to film movies and there are lots of films being shot right on the Emory campus. [I didn't attend Emory but my best friend did, and I visited her several times, and then in later years took some non-credit courses on campus.]

English actress Rachel Weisz was playing Liptadt. She was excellent, as always, and really deserved an Oscar nod. She didn't "cry or die" in the film, and was overlooked even for a nomination, which is a shame. [There were several actors in the film nominated for BAFTA awards, the British Oscars, but Weisz wasn't one of them.] Actors who play non-flamboyant characters are just as deserving of recognition -- maybe more so because it's harder to play everything just with your face and body than by shouting/crying throwing yourself around. Weisz is an under-rated actor but very skilled and I want to see her in more things.

The story of Denial is about a man named David Irving who is an anti-Semite and Neo Nazi and in my view just plain crazy. I had never thought much about the kind of crazy person who would deny the Holocaust but (horrifyingly) there are a lot of folks out there who think Hitler was not such a bad guy. Irving said in a recent article that folks who agree with him are growing in number. [ISIS is winning new recruits every day, too, but I wouldn't call that a good thing..]

If you like a true story and you like a good courtroom thriller, check out Denial. It also is a fairly good source of information for Americans about how the British legal system works. I had always thought since our system was based on theirs they were really similar, but it turns out there are some crucial differences that go far beyond wearing wigs in court.

I give this a solid A; not sure if I want to see it again but I might.

 

Hacksaw Ridge

Another film based on a true story, and it totally deserved the Oscar nods. It was nominated for 6 Oscars and there were two wins, but not for Mel Gibson or Andrew Garfield, unfortunately.

The blurb: "WWII American Army Medic Desmond T. Doss, who served during the Battle of Okinawa, refuses to kill people, and becomes the first man in American history to receive the Medal of Honor without firing a shot." 

Mel Gibson is the director [and he was nominated for an Oscar, deservedly so] but he didn't act in this one. I've long been disturbed by reports of his past behavior but apparently he has cleaned up his act. He said on a talk show he has been sober now for ten years.

One thing Gibson really tries to do in his films, albeit with mixed results in terms of historical accuracy, is to illustrate history in an interesting way. Braveheart and The Patriot were filled with inaccuracies that have made historians apoplectic, but in their defense, those films have also entertained and informed younger folks and gotten them interested in history. Younger generations are very visual -- they want to see film, and stuff exploding, and flying body parts and blood. Hacksaw Ridge, like his other efforts, has those elements.   Most 20-somethings don't want to sit in a library reading dusty tomes. I am cautiously in favor of teaching them any way they want to learn, because history doesn't have to be dry and boring.

It also stars another English person in the starring role playing an American, in this case actor Andrew Garfield. I have to admit, I'd never seen him in anything and I wasn't expecting him to do that great a job just based on my knowledge of the only other role of his that got wide acclaim, Spiderman. Garfield nailed this role, however. His father (in real life) is American, so perhaps that helped. His performance is terrific. His eyes are very expressive, and even his southern accent sounds excellent.

I did some reading about the real-life hero this movie is about, Desmond Doss. He was an amazing person. I had never heard of him before.

That's one reason I love movies like Denial and Hacksaw Ridge -- they are great learning experiences.

My only big quarrel with this film is the amount of blood and gore and flying body parts. They must have used truckloads of fake blood. It makes Deadpool's level of violence look restrained.

I give it an A- because I'm not sure I ever want to see it again, just because of the gory aspects of it.

 

The Dressmaker

I didn't love this film, but I liked it. It's original and fresh, and never boring, and those are qualities I greatly admire in a film.

It's mainly about what it's like to live in a small town in Australia, but the themes are universal. It could have been a small town anywhere.

The blurb: "A glamorous woman returns to her small town in rural Australia. With her sewing machine and haute couture style, she transforms the women and exacts sweet revenge on those who did her wrong." 

Kate Winslet is excellent in the film. It's another leading role where the performance is really not showy but it's more restrained and she should have won an Oscar for it. Her character is unique in that you can't always tell exactly what she's thinking, and with everyone else in the film it's fairly obvious.

Judy Davis plays her mother in the film. Davis is one of my favorite actors, and always brilliant. She doesn't get cast in big movies much any more, which is such a shame. Her role has a lot of surprises in it, too.

The strength of this movie is that the story is fresh and I give it an A- -- only a minus because it's not a movie I particularly want to see again. The ending is unexpected but not happy..

 

Passengers

I liked this film and it was worth watching, but generally I am not keen on movies set in outer space. What makes this one a bit different is that it's more of a character study than an action movie. It also illustrated a premise I have long found fascinating: what will life be like in the future?

The blurb: "A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early." 

I'm rather sick and tired of seeing Jennifer Lawrence in every other movie released nowadays. I have to admit she's a good actress though. She didn't carry this film, however; I don't care what she was paid for it. Any number of other actresses could have done as good a job or better. I really hope Lawrence doesn't get too big for her britches and start phoning in her performances, which happens to some hot young actresses.

After seeing actor Chris Pratt in Passengers I have to give him a lot of respect. He's got a lot of talent as an actor. I liked Guardians of the Galaxy -- a fresh spin on the typical Star Wars knockoff flicks -- but I don't think it showcased his talent all that well. Passengers really does that. He gives a nuanced performance that is very convincing.

If I were grading this film I'd give it a B- -- interesting story, uneven performances.

 

Here's the trailer for Hacksaw Ridge. If you're only going to see one of these films, see it.

 

 

Oscar Thoughts and Movie Reviews

Every year since I was ten years old I have watched the Oscars. This year was no exception. I was annoyed by a lot of stuff in the show, however.

I have always maintained that if all the extraneous crap were eliminated from the broadcast it could be done easily in a two hour show. We don't need to see idiotic dance moves and clip montages. Worst of all were Kimmel's shenanigans. I was appalled at him for bringing a tour group onstage. Ridiculous and a huge waste of time.

I also personally couldn't care less who wins for best short animated film or best documentary. There are certain categories that 99% of those watching DO NOT care about. Skip those, please.

As for all the brouhaha over the wrong Best Picture being announced... I was asleep. Big deal. La La Land won a bunch of stuff so I don't feel too sorry for them..

I really want to talk about some of the films that I've seen that were not lauded that much, but they are terrific films. These all came out in 2016.

Captain Fantastic

Viggo Mortensen was nominated for his performance and in my view he should have won. The film focuses on a father of 6 who is raising his kids in the woods of the Pacific Northwest, off the grid. After there's a tragedy they leave their compound and head to the funeral, encountering "normal" folks and trying to interact with them. There's nothing hackneyed or banal about the plot or the dialogue. In my view, this little film should have been named Best Picture. It's thought-provoking and touching and wonderful. 

Lion

I will admit that I have not seen this film. It's high on my list of films to see. It looks brilliant. Nicole Kidman has gotten really good at choosing projects that have great stories. This one is the true story of an Indian boy adopted by an Australian couple who then goes in search of his birth family after he grows up. Obviously that theme resonates with me, as an adoptive mom. I was disappointed it wasn't nominated for more awards.

Deadpool

Yeah yeah I know it's a film based on a Marvel comic but this one is different. It makes fun of itself. The writing is brilliant. It's funny. It's touching. there's not a single boring moment in the entire film. Ryan Reynolds deserved at least a nomination for the film. Most of the Marvel comics films are just tedious and not much fun, with heavy-handed moral lessons galore. Not Deadpool. It's awesome.

 

Of course, I am always amazed and amused by Oscar fashions. There were some BUTT UGLY dresses going down the red carpet this year. The only dress I saw and thought WOW, that's awesome, was this one:

Mini Movie Reviews

I've watched several movies lately that were excellent and several that were just awful. I'm always disappointed when really talented people make just awful films.

I do have to admit, however, that although I'm not a big fan of TV, I have been enjoying two shows very much, the historical time-machine thriller Timeless, and This Is Us. I learn something when watching those shows, and the emotional payoffs are rich. They are both great TV.

Anyway, here are my mini-reviews...

Free State of Jones [rating 5 stars]

This should have earned Matthew McConaughey another Oscar nomination, at least. He gave a powerful performance, playing a real man named New Knight who lived in Mississippi during the Civil War, and deserted from the Confederate Army. There's an excellent article in Smithsonian, The True Story of the 'Free State of Jones' and it says, in part:

"Newton Knight, a poor white farmer who led an extraordinary rebellion during the Civil War. With a company of like-minded white men in southeast Mississippi, he did what many Southerners now regard as unthinkable. He waged guerrilla war against the Confederacy and declared loyalty to the Union.

In the spring of 1864, the Knight Company overthrew the Confederate authorities in Jones County and raised the United States flag over the county courthouse in Ellisville. The county was known as the Free State of Jones, and some say it actually seceded from the Confederacy."

The movie looks breathtakingly accurate in the period details, from the clothes to the houses. I'm always thrilled to see historical movies that look correct.

One of the black actors, Mahershala Ali, is phenomenal as Moses. He deserved an Oscar nomination, too. I'm glad he got one for another film, Moonlight, which I have not seen but I want to see.

I'm so sorry this film didn't do better at the box office because it has a lot of interesting things to say about history, and about race. Knight was a fascinating character.  I hope it gets picked up by Starz or HBO, because young people of all races need to see this film.

 

The Boss [rating 0 stars]

I love Melissa McCarthy. I think she's super talented. I have watched Spy a number of times and enjoyed it every time. The Boss, however, is just HORRIBLE. Poorly written, not funny, just an enormous waste of time. Melissa's character "Michelle Darnell" is just a nightmare.

Plot: "A titan of industry is sent to prison after she's caught insider trading. When she emerges ready to rebrand herself as America's latest sweetheart, not everyone she screwed over is so quick to forgive and forget." [IMDB]

There's some explanation of her bad behavior, as Michelle was supposedly raised in an orphanage and returned several times by adoptive parents. That felt really forced, fake, and rather insulting to the adoption community.

The Boss could have been a semi-cute movie to show kids but good heavens no. Jokes about sex abound, some very explicit, and no child should see this movie, EVER. Few grownups should see it either.

What happened to funny writing? To character-driven humor?  I guess it's day is past. Too bad. Mary Tyler Moore was phenomenal at that type of humor, as was Bob Newhart, Carol Burnett, etc.

 

Now You See Me 2 [rating 2 stars]

I liked the first film. It seemed to be gimmicky but it wasn't really, it was more of a character study. The new one is more of the same:

"After fleeing from a stage show, the illusionists (Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson) known as the Four Horsemen find themselves in more trouble in Macau, China. Devious tech wizard Walter Mabry (Daniel Radcliffe) forces the infamous magicians to steal a powerful chip that can control all of the world's computers. Meanwhile, vengeful FBI agent Dylan Rhodes (Mark Ruffalo) hatches his own plot against Thaddeus Bradley (Morgan Freeman), the man he blames for the death of his father."

The sequel is entertaining but not engaging, unfortunately. Much of it is silly and involves tricks. Roger Ebert's review is pretty accurate, although I wouldn't agree that Woody Harrelson is all that great. Michael Caine is fun to watch -- when he's playing a meanie he owns it. Daniel Radcliffe plays a meanie too, and is far less effective. It's just impossible to believe grownup Harry Potter is evil.

 

Nowadays, a good movie is one that I want to fully watch, ignoring my phone. Only Jones made me ignore my phone..

Move Over, Old White Guys

I have watched the Oscars every year since 1972 and I've never seen such a brouhaha over nominations as I have seen this year. However, I think it's good that attention has been paid to the fact that Oscar nominees are almost always white, and the awards need to be far more diverse.

However, I also want to point out that the problem is far more complex than it appears on the surface. 

We live in an increasingly diverse society and I think that's a great thing. My children went to schools in suburban Atlanta that are good schools and where white kids were not in the minority, but there were many Asian, Hispanic, and African-American children, too. (By contrast, I grew up mostly in Tennessee and I went to schools that were 98% white.)

Larger cities tend to be a better place for families with members of more than one race.

My friend Cindy LaJoy has five children - three Asian and two Caucasian. Her Caucasian daughters are always assumed to be her biological children. They live in a tiny town in Colorado that has very few Asians. Cindy gets very tired of strangers asking her if her sons are exchange students or if she's chaperoning a school field trip every time they go anywhere. The lack of diversity is painfully obvious. My friend Stephanie has 13 adopted children, and one of her oldest kids, Max, is obviously Asian. They live in a small town in North Carolina and Max got bullied at school when he was small, because he's Asian. My friend Cindy Bodie has 38 adopted children, all Hispanic or part Hispanic. Some years ago she blogged about one of her daughters getting rushed to the hospital and encountering issues until Cindy got there and explained she was the mom, and instantly the "white lady" factor kicked in and the child was treated right. If they lived here in Atlanta there would be far less hassle, because we have all kinds of diverse families around here and most folks mind their own business.

My point is simply that big cities tend to be more diverse, and families with members of different races are bullied or hassled far less.

Los Angeles is a huge place, but Hollywood is basically a small town, a one-industry town. Most of the movers and shakers are white. That's not good, but it is simply reality. I think it's good that Jada Smith and Spike Lee are pointing out the obvious, that Hollywood needs to change.

What really needs to happen is that people of color need to get funding for movies, and writers need to be encouraged and helped to write stories that are more inclusive of all races. Those are ways to make the Oscars more fair. George Clooney, a very smart guy, said  "I don’t think it’s a problem of who you’re picking as much as it is: How many options are available to minorities in film, particularly in quality films?”

Right now you have an Academy membership that's almost entirely old white guys. Old white guys are probably going to nominate mostly white folks in big-budget movies. Is that fair? No.

Some years ago there was a movie starring Jack Nicholson called About Schmidt, and it got nominated for several Oscars. I HATED that movie. I thought it was terrible and I was pissed off after I had sat in the theater and watched it for two hours. However, the old white guys in the Academy loved it because it was about... AN OLD WHITE GUY.

Duh.

The OLD WHITE GUYS run Hollywood. They need to move over and give other people a chance.

Fortunately, the current president of the Academy, Cheryl Boone Isaacs, who is not an old white guy, seems to be on top of things as she recently said: "I’d like to acknowledge the wonderful work of this year’s nominees," Isaacs shared in her statement to Us Weekly. "While we celebrate their extraordinary achievements, I am both heartbroken and frustrated about the lack of inclusion. This is a difficult but important conversation, and it’s time for big changes. The Academy is taking dramatic steps to alter the makeup of our membership. In the coming days and weeks we will conduct a review of our membership recruitment in order to bring about much-needed diversity in our 2016 class and beyond."

If you want to get mathematical about it, check out the stats from the US Census Bureau. Whites make up somewhere between 62 and 77% of the population. Somewhere around 23-38% of us are not white. Hollywood should aim for the same diversity in the ranks of its movers and shakers - not just Academy members, but directors, producers, writers, etc. Then and only then will we see quality films made that really reflect America.

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Of all the movies released in 2015, there is only one that I think is clever and entertaining. I didn't even go to the theater to see movies last year, due to health issues and well, also, an almost complete lack of interest in any movie released.... if you're looking for a great movie to watch -- in the comfort of home, in your jammies, with frequent potty breaks, which is my fave way to watch movies -- watch SPY. It should win best picture. If you replaced all the OLD WHITE GUYS with CURVY LADIES OVER 40, Spy would sweep the Oscars...