Does your child have an IEP or a 504 plan? Parents of special needs kids are often not given all the information they need to really make sure their children get all the protections and help they are entitled to get. I know this because of my personal experiences.
I had to learn how to advocate for my children, and it was super stressful.
[For those who don't know, a 504 plan is for children who are handicapped and need acommodations, like a deaf student needing an interpreter in the classroom. An IEP is for a child whose issues are not physical, like kids who have learning disabilities and may need some acommodations in the classroom.]
NOTE: If you are not in Georgia, the law may be quite different in your state. I am in Georgia.
When my daughter was adopted from Russia at age 13, it never occurred to me that she wouldn't learn English quickly. Other parents bragged about how fast their kids learned English. She was surrounded by it, after all - books, TV, music, etc. But 18 months after she came home, we were having a lot of issues, and I finally had her tested and discovered she has a Central Auditory Processing Disorder. I was finally able to get her some therapy, at Lindamood Bell. It took more than $10,000 to get everything done.
Then the fight really started. I fought with the middle school psychologist who said "Oh, she just needs to learn more English and she will be fine." I fought with all the folks at the high school who didn't want to have to deal with a child with an IEP, and they fought me tooth and nail, at every turn. Nobody at the school wanted her to have an IEP [Individual Education Plan].
Finally, I wrote a very carefully worded letter to the head of psychology for the entire county, and I faxed it and sent it certified mail. She called me, wasn't very nice, and said the testing I'd paid thousands of dollars for with experts meant nothing, but the school system would agree to do their own testing of my daughter.
I had to threaten to sue the entire school system to get that much.
So the school system tested Alesia, finally admitted there was a problem, and we got her the IEP. She got special help and accommodations.
Before I got the IEP, the same rude psychologist for the middle school, who was also at the high school, made me furious. She had dismissed all Alesia's issues and said right in front of her -- at an early meeting when I was begging the school for an IEP - "IF she can even go to college" - implying my daughter shouldn't even try for college. The psychologist said that IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER. My daughter has a normal IQ, but her emotional issues stemmed from severe abuse and neglect when she was ages 0-13, in Russia. That insensitive, unprofessional psychologist is no longer there, I don't think, at least not at the high school.
I was furious, needless to say. I mentioned that terrible remark when I wrote the letter to the head of psychology for the county.
I had to go through SO MUCH to get my daughter the help she needed, and I was alone, trying to figure out the complexities of school law. I heard about a lawyer here in town who represented parents, but I called and left voicemails for him several times and never even got a call back. I tried another couple of lawyers. No one wanted to help.
Last year I got to know a lady who lives in my neighborhood, Kristyne Seidenberg, a lawyer who specializes in wills and estates, but who herself was a teacher and counselor for years. Kristy also represents parents in school law cases. She has successfully represented parents in situations where children were being treated totally unfairly by the school system, and she has WON.
This is an area of law where so many parents are woefully unprepared to advocate for their child, and it's very very difficult to find a lawyer willing to take the case.
This is from Kristy's website:
It is often difficult, if not impossible, for parents of students who are entitled to services to discern the process and the rights of their student. School professionals often use terms that are meaningless to parents without an explanation. Schools often get away with telling parents “…this is how we do it,” or “…this is our policy.” Parents of students with special needs deserve more information than that.
Quite often, the school policies are out of compliance with State and Federal law. Parents have the right to know, in writing, the basis for any school or district decision (on any level) that affects their student’s IEP and the delivery of services to that student. Parents must not accept that an administrator or school representative knows what he/she is doing with regard to the law governing Special Education. If a parent or a parent advocate does not speak up, no one will.
I wish Kristy could represent parents in all 50 states, but unfortunately she is only licensed here in Georgia. However, wherever you are, if your child is having a lot of difficulties in school and you suspect they need an IEP plan, you need to put on your big girl or big boy undies and get ready to do battle. Do not passively accept anything the school tells you.
My daughter needed ESL English, and got that, but she was legally entitled to not have to get regular letter grades in any class as long as she was in the ESL program. I didn't find that out until I went to the county level with my son, and we had a knock down fight because he was getting ESL English and his teacher was picking on him. I was lucky he was in 5th grade and the principal at his school was willing to sit down with me, the teacher, and the ESL teacher and head of ESL for the county.
The sad and unfair thing was NOBODY had told me he didn't have to be graded the same as the kids who weren't in ESL. His own teacher was shaming him in front of the entire class, and he had been in America only about 16 months and needed a tremendous amount of help. He was entitled to get X's on his report card instead of grades, as long as he qualified for ESL services. To force a child to meet the same grade standards as everyone else when they don't even comprehend the language is totally unfair, but it happens every day.
[NOTE: the teacher who was so mean to him finished the year but was then fired!]
Nobody told me my daughter was entitled to ESL accommodations, and she didn't get the language accommodations she needed because I simply didn't know what the law entitled her to. The middle school principal wouldn't even return my calls, much less attend any meeting.
If you have a child who has issues, EDUCATE yourself about your rights as a parent. Demand the school be accountable. Be the squeaky wheel.
If you still can't get anywhere, look for an attorney to help.

this is a photo of Alesia made right after she got here, when she was still going to the center for most of the day, trying to learn English
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